The door slid closed behind them, leaving Devin with Mikhael for a full examination.
Cade started to feel the gravity of the decisions he’d made tonight as his adrenaline plummeted. Guilt over the fact that Devin had gotten hurt in the process of an attack on him warred with shock at the thought that someone wanted him dead. He was glad that Devin was alive, especially because he wasn’t the target of the attack, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d only made matters worse. He thought back to the words Deianira had said before she restored Devin.
When they come back, they are never quite the same.
Had he made a mistake? What would happen to Devin now? What would happen to him now? Whatever his punishment was, he’d take it. He meant what he’d said to Deianira now more than ever. If Devin hadn’t come back and Cade found out about his connection to Devin’s death, he wouldn’t have been able to forgive himself. If he had to die now because he chose to save Devin, he wouldn’t object.
Remembering that he wasn’t alone, he turned his head to look at Deianira, and what he found made his heart clench. It was as if she wasn’t there. Back still facing the door, she stared at the wall in front of her, breathing lightly. All remnants of the fierce woman he’d met only days ago were gone and replaced with a scared girl. The amount of guilt, fear, and regret coming off her was almost enough to choke Cade.
He knew that she didn’t want to restore Devin. He knew but he asked her anyway and in the end, it might have been for nothing. He’d pressed her, uncaring of her warning or personal objections. Cade didn’t know enough about azraels to know if the restoration process could have been costly for her. He’d seen how Lia’s visions took a toll on her and the same might have been the case for Deianira, but he didn’t think about that in the moment. He’d just pushed.
Cade had never felt worse than he did right now.
As he moved to stand in front of her, her eyes didn’t stray from their position. She just stared at his chest as if she was looking right through him.
In an effort to bring her out of her daze, he brought his hand to her upper arm. At his touch, she flinched, eyes snapping to his, but Cade didn’t startle. He wasn’t afraid of her. He was afraid of what he might have done to her.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I’m sorry I asked you to do that.”
“No, you’re not,” she whispered. “You have your friend now.” She extricated her arm from Cade’s hand and turned her face to discreetly wipe a tear from her eye, but he saw. “I’ll be on my way.”
She didn’t even look angry, just empty.
What have I done?
Cade obstructed her path when she tried to leave.
“No. You said no, and I didn’t listen. I’m sorry.”
“Well it’s done now,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Just keep an eye on him. Report to Hewn if he exhibits any strange behavior and I’ll figure out the rest.” Her words were hurried as she looked at everything in the hall but Cade.
He knew that she didn’t want him to see her right now, but he couldn’t quite let her go. Not like this. Taking a risk, he gently gripped her chin and tilted her head up so that her eyes met his. He needed her to hear him.
“Earlier…earlier I said some things. I wasn’t in a good frame of mind, but I had no business judging you for your past because I’m here for a good reason too,” he told her earnestly. “Even after that, you did this for him, so thank you. And I am sorry.”
Cade was mildly aware that while he’d been speaking, his hand had moved from her chin to the side of her face in a gentle caress. Deianira closed her eyes as a single tear traveled down her cheek. Leaning into his touch, she opened her mouth as if she was about to say something when the door slid back open.
Both of them quickly separated, breaking the moment as the warlock stepped out of the infirmary, hands clasped. Mikhael looked between them suspiciously before speaking.
“Everything looks normal physically so I think it’s best to release him for now and schedule a follow-up. He healed rather quickly so that’s a good sign, but please let me know if anything changes.”
Cade let out a huge sigh of relief. Devin was going to be okay. But like a tide coming back to shore, he felt Deianira’s icy exterior slip back into place. Sighing, he looked down at his shoes. He knew that he wouldn’t be seeing that side of Deianira again any time soon or ever for that matter. The thought had him both relieved and disappointed. Cade never wanted to see her so defeated again, but it was the first time that she’d strayed from her usual cold demeanor.
“Thank you, Mikhael.” She dismissed him in a neutral voice.
Once Mikhael was far enough down the hall, Cade stepped to go back into the room, suddenly desperate to be out of Deianira’s presence, but just like he had done earlier, she blocked his path.
Out of nowhere, there was a blade at his throat. He hadn’t even seen her grab it. Cade almost shivered at her chilling tone when she spoke.
“Touch me again, and you will quickly learn how much harder life can be for a man with no hands.” Deianira emphasized her threat by pressing the blade harder against his throat pulling a small groan from him.
Knowing he wouldn’t achieve anything by arguing, Cade nodded like a child scolded.
“Get out of my sight,” she hissed, lowering the blade.
As he brought a hand to his throat, pressing against the small cut, Cade wondered if he should inform her that he didn’t know which way he was supposed to go.
A throat cleared to his right.
Hewn stood at the end of the hall, waiting with a pair of cuffs in his hand. Walking down to Hewn, he spared a hopeful glance over his shoulder but Deianira was already gone.
