I’m still thinking about the weird encounter with those two men during my morning classes.
It’s impossible not to, considering all the facts that line up.
They knew Mom’s old name.
They’re Japanese.
They drive a black van.
Oh, and one of them was so pleased to meet me that he called me a different name altogether.
I hope I’m just being paranoid and that whatever Mom will tell me doesn’t have anything to do with them.
The moment I dismiss any thoughts of them, they rush back in. Especially Ren.
There’s something about Ren.
But what?
“Nao! Are you listening?” Lucy waves a hand in front of my face.
“Oh, sorry.” I grimace as I shove my books into my bag after the professor leaves. I’m ready to get to lunch and lose myself in Sebastian. “What did you say?”
Lucy rolls her eyes. “I was asking if you were too busy boning to answer my text.”
“Luce!” I cast a glance at our surroundings before I murmur, “Who even says boning anymore?”
“I do. Besides, everyone knows you and Sebastian are…a thing.”
“We’re not a thing.”
“What are you then?”
I weigh my words as we step out of the lecture hall. Really, what are we? Mom called him my boyfriend and Lucy implied we’re a thing. Is that what we are? A couple?
We might not have started under traditional circumstances, but we started. We’re…there. Or here, or whatever.
Our relationship is no longer only sexual. Maybe it has never been only sexual from the beginning.
“We’re just us,” I tell Lucy with a grin.
“Nao…” she trails off, then clears her throat. “Maybe you shouldn’t get too comfortable in Sebastian’s company.”
“Why?”
“Well…he’s a Weaver and the quarterback, and all of that comes with attention.”
“I’m fine.” So far.
“Are you sure? Because he’s popular and has that whole limelight thing you hate so much.”
“Oh, come on, Luce. Spare me the hypocrisy. I hate Reina and her mean girls, but I didn’t ask you to not be comfortable in their company. I never whined about how you spend most of your time at her house, playing dress-up and worshipping the goddess of beauty to keep you forever young. I respected your choice, so please respect mine.”
“You’re right.” She gulps. “I was out of line. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to be bitchy.”
“I’m just worried about you, Nao. I’ve never seen you this lost in a man before. I thought it was just a crush, but it’s turning into something a lot deeper than that.”
“Don’t worry, it’s just a crush.” With depraved sex. But I spare Lucy the details.
My phone vibrates and I smile when I see his name.
Sebastian: I’m running late because of Coach. Wait for me before you start eating.
Sebastian: I have something of yours.
He attaches a picture of his veiny hand holding a bottle of apple juice.
I grin like an idiot as I type.
Naomi: I had juice this morning.
Sebastian: Not my special type. Prepare that mouth for me.
Naomi: Stop it.
Sebastian: I was talking about the juice. Where did your mind go, baby?
My cheeks catch fire as I shove the phone back in my pocket and listen to Lucy talking about our upcoming exams. There’s still a big game for the Black Devils this Friday, so we’ll lose an entire evening—and the days leading up to it.
Scoffs and groans echo in the air as Lucy and I approach the table where the cheer squad and the football players sit.
My guess is that it’s more about me rather than my best friend, who awkwardly sits down.
I join her, too, pretending to be oblivious to the animosity as I swing my bag to my side.
They wouldn’t be this obvious about it if Sebastian was sitting me on his lap. Lucy said whenever anyone attacks me, he’ll level them with a look from behind my back and it’s enough to shut them up.
Well, at least, most of them. Brianna, Reina, and Owen are rogue.
Prescott, too, though he’s not as talkative as the rest of them.
Now that Sebastian is caught up with his coach, I’m all alone on the battlefield. It’s not that I need his protection, considering I was doing just fine before he came along, but it feels good to not be in a constant state of war with the world.
Brianna is still as nasty as ever, but everyone else isn’t. It’s as if they’re finally acceptant of me, and as a result, I haven’t been as venomous or as sarcastic as I was in the past.
Besides, I’m in a good mood today and no one will ruin it.
“Um, excuse me?” Brianna taps her glittery nails on the table in front of me.
“To what do I owe the pleasure, Bee?” I mock.
“It’s Bree!” she screeches, her veins tightening in her red neck, seeming to be on the verge of popping. “And your ass is not welcome here, you skank.”
I stare around the table, pretending to search for something. “I don’t see your name anywhere here, so I can sit my ass anywhere I like.”
“You must think you’re all that just because Sebastian looked in your trashy direction. Bitch.”
“Bree,” Reina calls while stroking circles on her temples. She’s been silent, almost meek lately, no longer tormenting me as if it’s her favorite sport.
“I’m done playing, Rei. It’s time this fucking bitch learns her place.”
“It’s gone on for long enough,” Josh says through a mouthful of French fries.
I stare at everyone present at the table. Some snicker, others smirk, and most are elbowing each other and murmuring under their breaths.
As if they’re all in on a joke I’m not privy to.
I stare at Reina because, with Sebastian out of the picture, she’s the one who calls the shots. “What’s going on?”
“Over here.” Brianna taps her long finger in front of me again. “Game over, Naomi.”
“Bree.” Prescott shakes his head at her and Lucy’s lips part in pure shock.
“Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?” I don’t recognize the spooked tone in my voice or the premonition of something horrible rushing my way.
Brianna’s shrill laughter echoes around us, and for some reason, my limbs lock. “Did you really think Sebastian would be interested in someone as unimportant as you just because? Are you that dumb to believe that’s possible? The only reason he ever approached you is because we dared him to fuck you, take your V-card, and make a show of it. But you went ahead and fell for the bet like the stupid little bitch you are.”
I’m so stunned for a second that I don’t speak. My ears feel like they’re closing and the shatter around me seems like it’s coming from underwater.
Something feels off.
Me. I feel totally off.
It’s like I’m frozen and there’s nothing to unfreeze me or even allow me to move.
“Uh-oh.” Someone laughs, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out who. “She’s broken.”
The snickers and laughter rise in volume, and all I can do is sit there, staring numbly ahead of me.
At Reina.
“That’s not true,” I murmur.
Somewhere deep inside me, I know it is. Everything makes sense. The way he was insistent about courting me. The way he inserted himself into my life and refused to leave, no matter how much I tried to kick him out.
“Oh, it is true.” Josh licks his upper lip. “It should’ve been me, not him. Come on, Rei, let it be me this time.”
“Say it,” I whisper to Reina. “Say it’s not true.”
She releases a sigh, letting her hands drop on the table. “Do you really believe that?”
No. No, I don’t.
But if she says it, there won’t be anything to compete against. It’s Reina’s word against all their nonsense.
Surely, there’s an alternative reality where all of this is a distasteful joke.
You’re the only distasteful joke here, Naomi.
“It was so cute watching you act like a puppy in love when we all knew Sebastian was playing with you.” Brianna laughs. “Didn’t she look like a perfect fool?”
Many agree and laugh, some point their fingers at me as the whispers erupt.
“What a joke.”
“Look at her. She’s still broken.”
“Someone call the doctor.”
“Even her friend knew…”
My gaze snaps to my side to find Lucy staring at her lap, zipping and unzipping her bag at a rapid speed. Her face is red, her freckles dark, and her lips are pursed.
Tears I never wanted to shed in front of these assholes fill my lids. When I speak, my voice is so low and pained, it’s like it’s coming from a dark corner I didn’t know existed inside me. “You knew?”
She slowly stares up at me with tears clinging to her lashes. “It’s not that, I…”
“You knew.”
It’s not a question, but a mere statement of facts from the way her brows are knitted and her nose is scrunching.
The girl I called my best friend was well aware of the game played against me and didn’t say anything.
I stagger to a standing position and grab my bag with stiff fingers. My arm feels as heavy as my tongue inside my mouth.
The need to cry is so strong that all I see is blurry lines. All I hear is the taunts and whispers, the jabs and mockery. All I taste is the salty bitterness of my tears. All I feel is the need to crawl somewhere no one will see me and sob my heart out.
A shadow falls over me, and I don’t have to look to see who it is.
The man I thought was made for me.
The man I was thinking of being in a stupid relationship with.
When the facts are, he’s been using me to chase away his boredom.
I believed the depravity he painted and I thought we were playing a mutual game when he’s been playing me all along.
He stops a small distance away, probably reading the atmosphere. But it’s not far enough to block his scent.
It’s not far enough to stop the fit of rage I’ve never experienced before.
Forget red.
My vision turns pitch fucking black.
“What’s wrong?” he asks slowly.
I don’t think as I grab a glass of water and throw its contents at him, dousing his face and T-shirt.
A collective gasp echoes in the group and our surroundings.
But I don’t wait for them to direct their malicious intent toward me. I don’t wait for the humiliation of what I just learned to sink in further.
Holding my head high, I rein in the tears stinging my eyes and march out the door.
As soon as I’m outside, I let them flood my cheeks.
I let the pain wash over me.
And just like that, it feels as if I’m back to being that helpless girl I was twelve years ago.
