AOIFE
WHEN I OPENED MY EYES, I was bombarded with an array of feelings and emotions.
Pain came first.
Confusion followed swiftly after.
Licking my dry lips, I twisted my head from side to side, trying to shake the wave of dizziness off and make sense of what the hell was happening. It was only when I twisted sideways to my right that I saw him.
Joey.
He was sitting in a chair next to my bed, cradling something to his chest.
“Hey, stud,” I mumbled, feeling groggy and hoarse, as I soaked in the sight of him.
Instantly, his focus snapped to me, and the emotion I saw in his crystal-clear green eyes was overwhelming.
He’s here.
He’s really here.
“Hey, queen.” Dropping his feet from where they had been resting on the side of my bed, he straightened up. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I went ten rounds with Tyson.”
“Well, you don’t look it,” he was quick to reply, as he stood up and closed the space between us. “Nice everything, Molloy.”
“Joe.” My voice was thick with emotion. My entire focus on the baby nestled in the crook of his arm. “Is the baby okay?”
“He’s perfect,” he replied, sinking down on the edge of my bed and then leaning in close to press a kiss to my brow. “You did such a good job, Aoif.”
“He?” My heart bucked wildly in my chest, as I snaked a trembling hand out from under the blankets to touch his little pink hand. “We have a son?”
“We have a son, and he has a set of pipes on him just like his mam,” he confirmed gruffly, carefully placing the small baby on my chest. “Say hi to Mammy.”
Unable to stop the tears from spilling from my eyes, I attempted to cradle the baby in my arms, feeling completely overwhelmed.
“We did this?” Sniffling, I stared at his tiny little face, feeling too much in this moment to comprehend. “Oh my god.” I choked out a half-laugh, half-sob. “He has Shannon’s little nose.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“He’s got your curls.”
“He’s got your eyes.”
“It’s all you, Molloy.” Pressing a few buttons on the remote attached to my bed, he raised the back of the bed into a semi-sitting position before removing the hairnet from my hair and pressing another kiss to my brow. “He’s gorgeous like his mam.”
“Yeah, well, his mam doesn’t feel so gorgeous anymore,” I mumbled, feeling vulnerable and weirdly exposed.
“His mam never looked more gorgeous than she does right now,” Joey corrected. “Six years ago today, I locked eyes on you for the first time, sitting on the wall outside of school, and now we’re sitting here with our son.” Smiling, he leaned in close and kissed me again. “Thanks for my baby, queen. You still take the air clean out of my lungs.”
That did it.
His words of affection broke the dam inside of me.
“Joe.” Heaving out a pained sob, I heaved our baby closer to my chest and kissed his chubby cheek. “When they couldn’t get him out, I thought he was going to —”
“He’s right here,” Joey was quick to coax, shifting closer, and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You’re both here, and I’m going to take care of ye.” Another kiss. “I won’t let anything happen to either one of you, Molloy, I promise.”
“Have you been here the whole time?”
“I told you that I wouldn’t leave you.” He gently lifted our son out of my arms and placed him in the bassinet next to the bed before returning to my side. “I’ll never leave you again.”
I didn’t have the strength to be strong or put on a brave face in this moment.
I didn’t have anything left in the tank.
I had spent so long being the brave one.
The strong one.
Now, all I wanted to do was fold into him.
Because I couldn’t do this anymore.
I needed someone to lean on.
“I can’t do this on my own,” I admitted, fisting his hoodie as he carefully cradled me in his arms. “I’m so tired, Joe.”
“I know you are,” he replied, pushing my hair off my face, as he tucked me in closer.
“You can’t get sick again,” I cried, clinging to him for all I was worth. “You can’t leave me on my own in this.”
“I’ll never leave you on your own again,” he vowed, wrapping both of his arms around me. “I will never fail you again.” I could hear the sincerity in his voice, and I needed so badly for him to be right about this. For him to stay. “It’s my turn, Molloy.” He kissed my hair. “To look after you.”
