I DRIED MY face and opened the door to find Roland hovering outside.
“You look beat, Sara. You should try to get some sleep.”
“I am tired,” I lied. “I think I’ll lie down for a bit. You guys don’t have to stay with me, though.”
“Pete and I will go across the hall and watch TV for a while. I bet you guys have all the movie channels here. You come over when you finish your nap.”
“Okay,” I agreed, although sleep was the last thing on my mind.
I waited for several minutes after I heard Roland’s door close before I left my room and shut my door quietly behind me. Most people were at dinner so the hallways were almost empty as I made my way down to the lower level that housed the holding cells and interrogation rooms. Down here the walls were made of smooth stone and there were no windows that I could see. I shivered in my sweater, and I didn’t know if it was because of the cooler air or what I was about to do.
At the bottom of the stairs a short hallway stretched before me, with a thick metal door at the other end. As I drew close to the door, I could see the intricate runes etched into the metal, preventing anyone but a Mohiri from opening the door, and I could feel the buzz of strong magic running through it when I put my hand over the metal surface. I paused with my hand on the door. When and how had I started to sense magic?
Turning the large iron knob, I pulled the door toward me, revealing a dimly lit room on the other side. What I didn’t see until I walked inside was Ben posted to the right of the door. He gave me a stern look when I entered the room.
“You should not be down here.”
“I want to see him.”
Ben folded his arms across his chest. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in there without an order from Tristan.”
“He’s my uncle and I have a right to see him,” I argued, wondering how I was going to get past the huge warrior. “Couldn’t you make an exception?”
Sympathy flashed in his eyes. “That vampire is not your uncle anymore. I am sorry for your loss, but I cannot allow you to see him unless I receive orders. If you wish, I can contact Tristan and ask him.”
My mind worked furiously. Tristan might let me see Nate tonight, but he and Nikolas would insist on accompanying me, and I’d never be able to do what I came to do. I could tell by Ben’s determined expression that he was not going to be persuaded to let me in without permission.
I have to get in there.
I was desperate enough to try almost anything to get into those holding cells, so when the idea came to me, I didn’t stop to debate whether it was a bad one or not. I moved backward and let my body slump against the wall.
Ben immediately moved toward me. “Are you all right?”
“Just a little dizzy,” I said, making my voice sound weak.
He took my arm and guided me to the only bench in the room. “Sit here and I’ll call someone to assist you back to your room.”
I caught his hand as he reached for his earpiece. “Ben, if this works, I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“If what – ?” His eyes widened, and I saw shock pass over his face as static crackled over my hand and a small jolt of power shot into him. For a moment, he stood there staring at me, and all I could think was oh crap! Then his eyes rolled up in his head and he fell to his knees. He toppled sideways, and I jumped and caught his head before it hit the hard stones. The last thing I wanted was to give him a concussion on top of everything else. I checked his pulse and breathing and smiled grimly. The jolt I gave him was the same kind I’d used on Chris, so I knew Ben wasn’t going to be down for long. And he was not going to be happy when he woke up. “Sorry, Ben, but I had to do this,” I said softly, pulling off my sweater to pillow his head.
Searching his pockets, I found a set of keys, and as soon as my fingers closed around them, I felt the same magic in them that protected the doors. I stood and adjusted my T-shirt, then opened the door on the other end of the room. It was covered in the same etchings, and it was even heavier than the first door, closing with a solid thump behind me. I found myself in another hallway lined with metal doors. Each door had a small barred window through which I could see an empty windowless cell. Cold hit me in the chest and my heart sped up as I walked past the cells, knowing that one of them held Nate. Fear and anxiety churned my stomach as I tried to mentally prepare for what I was going to face and what I was about to do.
“Come to visit me at last,” drawled a cold voice I barely recognized before I reached the last door. I sucked in a sharp breath and stumbled, not as prepared to hear his voice as I thought I was. I took a moment to steel myself then stepped up to the door. The cell was dark, and I flipped a switch beside the door, making light flood the small room and revealing the figure chained by his hands and feet to the back wall. His dark hair was lank, and his face looked paler and thinner than it had yesterday, if that was possible. It was his eyes that shocked me the most. Instead of the familiar bright green, they were dark, almost black, and they stared hungrily at me now, the eyes of a predator.
“How did you know it was me?” I asked, fighting to keep the tremble out of my voice.
“You forget I have a heightened sense of smell now, and you . . . ” He lifted his face and sniffed the air. “They were right. You smell delicious.”
I shuddered. Remember, this is not Nate. “Tristan said you wanted to see me.”
Nate chuckled. “I did, but I am surprised he and Nikolas let you come to see me alone. I always knew that warrior had a soft spot for – ”
“I didn’t come down here to talk about Nikolas,” I snapped. I’d come here with a purpose, and I would not let him distract me from it. “Did you have something to say to me?”
He shrugged and his chains clinked. “I have many things to say to you. Where would you like to start?”
“How did this happen to you?”
The question seemed to take him by surprise, and he stared at me for a moment before answering. “I met a beautiful redhead who told me she was going to change my life forever.” One corner of his mouth lifted and he leered at me suggestively. “She did not disappoint.”
I swallowed dryly. “What was her name?”
“Why? So you can hunt her down like a good little vampire killer?” he scoffed.
“Something like that.” And make her tell me who her Master is before I kill her.
“Sorry to disappoint you, kid, but I’ll take that secret to the grave . . . which should be any day now if your guardians have anything to say about it.”
“Why?” I burst out. “Why would you protect someone who sent you here to die?”
He scowled at me. “You would never understand the loyalty and love I have for my maker. She made me strong and gave me back my legs. That was all I ever wanted. I certainly never wanted to be saddled with a sniveling, ungrateful little brat who did nothing but hurt the people who cared about her. Your father died because of you. Even your own mother could not bear to be around you.”
“That’s not true! My dad and Nate loved me, and I loved them and would have done anything to keep them safe.”
“Well, judging by my current accommodations, you aren’t doing such a bang-up job.”
Tears clouded my vision, and I blinked them away. “I never meant for you . . . for Nate to get hurt. I know you don’t care, but I wanted to tell you that.”
He let out a humorless laugh. “You’re right; I don’t care.”
“Then I guess we don’t have anything else to say to each other.” I took a deep tremulous breath and inserted the key into the door lock.
“What are you doing?”
I opened the door and slipped inside, closing it behind me with a loud click that echoed down the empty hallway. Dropping the keys on the floor, I faced the vampire that watched me warily. Be strong and remember you’re doing this for Nate. You owe him this.
“Like you said, I’m a vampire killer,” I said emotionlessly.
“And you are going to kill your own uncle?” He asked with a sneer, but there was less confidence in his voice now.
The rage that had been simmering inside me bubbled to the surface. “You aren’t my uncle. You’re the demon who stole his body.”
“Everything that was your uncle is in me. Do you really want to destroy all that is left of him?”
I clenched my fists and took a step closer. “You might have his memories and his face, but you don’t have his soul. There is nothing left of him in you.” As soon as I said the words, I knew they were true. Even after I’d seen him with fangs bared, even as I stood outside his cell, a tiny part of me believed, or hoped, that Nate was not truly gone forever. Cold acceptance settled over me.
“What are you going to do? Are you really going to put a blade through my heart, your uncle’s heart?” he asked, still trying to make me believe he was Nate.
“It’s not Nate’s heart anymore,” I replied flatly walking toward him. “And I don’t need a knife.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have Nate’s memories, so you know what I am. Do you know why demons are so afraid of the Fae?”
Fear crept into his eyes for the first time and his Adam’s apple bobbed.
“I’m not just a vampire killer; I’m a one-of-a-kind demon slayer. You took Nate from me, so you have the honor of being my first kill. Well, not my first kill, but the first like this.”
His eyes bulged as electricity crackled in the air around me.
“First, I’m going to take care of you. Then, I’m going to leave here and hunt down your maker and your precious Master, and I’m going to kill every blood sucker that gets in my way.”
Muffled shouts from the outer room drew my attention from the vampire. It sounded like Ben had awakened and called in reinforcements. If I was going to finish this, I had to do it now.
I turned back to the vampire. “Nate, wherever you are, please forgive me for not keeping you safe.” Despite my resolve, tears spilled down my cheeks as I called forth my power.
“Sara, no!” Tristan yelled through the window in the door. “Whatever you’re planning to do, you have to stop.”
My breath caught but I did not look at him. “I’m going to kill a vampire.”
Tristan lowered his voice. “Listen to me, Sara; you don’t want to do this. Killing a vampire is one thing, but if you kill Nate, it will haunt you forever.”
My hair crackled with static and lifted from my shoulders as the power surrounding me grew. “He’s not Nate. He’s a monster.”
“Yes, he is, but you will see only Nate’s face when you remember this. Nate would not want that for you.”
“I – ”
“Sara, open the door.”
I closed my eyes at the sound of Nikolas’s deep voice. Something tugged at my chest, and a part of me wanted to run to him, to let him wrap his arms around me and chase away the evil in my life. But a larger part of me knew I would never find my own strength if I hid behind his.
My hands tingled and began to glow from the power coursing through them. I could see the light reflected in the vampire’s terrified eyes as he struggled violently in his bonds. Behind me I heard running feet and then the distinct sound of a key being fitted into the lock on the cell door.
The vampire screamed when my hands touched his chest, and he began to writhe convulsively, even though I hadn’t yet released the force of my power. Just being touched by Fae magic was unbearable to him. I stared at him for several seconds as I gathered more power and prepared to strike.
The door swung open, and I felt the air shift as someone moved toward me with incredible speed. No!
I released my power and felt the vampire jerk as he let out a strangled shriek. The smell of scorched flesh filled my nose, and I heard a thump and a curse somewhere behind me. The vampire hung limply in his chains, but I knew he was still alive because we were connected by the power flowing between us. My mind reeled from the knowledge that I was inside a vampire. I was overcome by the need to see the vamhir demon before I destroyed it, to look upon the thing that had turned a wonderful man into a monster.
Unlike Mori demons that live in the brain, vamhir demons attach themselves to the heart of their victims. My power moved through organs that looked healthy and normal until it found the misshapen lump that barely resembled a human heart. Most of the heart was encased in a thick translucent white membrane that resembled a jellyfish, with tendrils that were fused to the spine and brain stem. I prodded the membrane, and it trembled, making the heart stutter.
This was the powerful vamhir demon? For all a vampire’s power and strength, the demon was nothing more than a gelatinous parasite that needed a host to survive. Seeing this one weakened and in its natural form took away the mystery and dissolved some of my fear of vampires. It didn’t dampen the pain of losing Nate, but it gave me a deeper understanding of my enemy and showed me the demon’s true weakness.
The demon rippled, and I felt the vampire stir. I jabbed at it, and it stilled again. Enough studying it. It was time to end this. I pushed forward until I surrounded the demon without touching it. It quivered as if it knew what I planned to do. My soul wept for the heart that would soon no longer beat, but I felt no empathy or mercy for the creature I was about to destroy.
I love you, Nate, I said silently as my power enveloped the demon.
The demon let out an unearthly scream, twisting and pushing desperately against my hold. I opened myself further and more power poured out of the well deep inside me until it felt like lightning flowed through my veins. In a disconnected part of my mind, I knew I was tapping into a force I had never touched before, and I felt a tiny brush of fear mixed with wild exhilaration. I had never felt so alive or aware of the world around me. I could hear people breathing behind me and a mouse scratching behind the walls. I could feel the living earth beneath the thick stone floor. I smelled the droplets of water in the damp air of the cell and the stench of dead flesh that clung to the vampire. And inside the vampire, I saw life . . . and death.
Alien words filled my head, and I heard a hideous voice that made me want to grab my ears and scream. Something clicked in my mind, like a door opening, and I realized I was hearing the demon’s thoughts and memories. . . . good strong body . . . so thirsty . . . but I don’t want to die . . . yes, my maker . . . pain . . . so much pain . . .
As soon as it had come, the demon’s voice faded away and images began to flood my mind so fast they were a blur of color. I reached out and snatched one and stared in confusion at the face of a little girl, no older than two or three. I grabbed another and saw the same little girl, a few years older with chestnut curls and happy green eyes. It’s me, I thought in wonder, reaching for another image then another.
Me sitting on a chair in a white hospital room, my eyes dark and terrified.
Me curled up in a small bed, clenching a teddy bear.
Me grinning as I cut the cake at my tenth birthday party with Roland and Peter.
Me pulling a gift from beneath the Christmas tree.
Me covered in chocolate batter the first time I tried to make Nate a birthday cake.
Me holding the ragged white cat I rescued when I was fourteen.
Me standing in the doorway, wearing a pale yellow Faerie dress.
They were all Nate’s memories of me, of my life with him, and each one of them glowed with a father’s love for his child. I’d spent my life missing my dad, and all along Nate had thought of me as a daughter. It filled me with bittersweet joy to realize the depth of his love after he was gone.
More of Nate’s memories, dark and terrifying, flooded my mind. I saw an exotic red-haired woman in a revealing black dress. Ava Bryant, she said in a sultry voice. The next instant, her face twisted and fangs sprouted from her mouth as she struck. I heard Nate moaning in pain and saying, I’ll never tell you where she is. The memories became hazy after that, and I knew it was during his transition. The last coherent thought he had before the vamhir demon possessed him completely was how glad he was that I would not be alone.
The images and voices faded away into a gray mist and it was just me and the demon again. The demon looked darker and harder with small cracks forming in its surface, and the heart beat in a weak irregular rhythm. The heart that had once held so much love for me. I would not let it suffer any longer.
It was love, not anger, that filled me as power exploded from me in a white flash so brilliant it blinded me through my closed eyelids. I felt the vampire’s death throes, and I knew the instant the demon shattered into nothingness and the heart stopped beating forever. A wail of grief welled up from deep inside me, and I heard a voice from my own memory. Those who hunt you will ultimately give you the power to become the thing they fear the most.
* * *
Far above me, a pinpoint of light shone like a beacon, and I swam through the murky darkness toward it. My arms and legs were heavy, threatening to drag me back down. It would be so easy to just drift in the warm darkness, but the light called to me. I pushed forward with every ounce of willpower until the light grew brighter and I heard muffled sounds: voices, beeping, music. Wait. Was that . . . Carly Simon?
“It’s been two damn days. Why hasn’t she woken up?”
“Physically, there is nothing wrong with her,” a woman said. “All I can guess is that her mind needs to heal from the trauma she suffered and she will wake when she is ready.”
“You guess?”
“Nikolas, calm down. There is nothing to be gained from yelling at the healers. None of us has seen anything like this before.”
“Dude, I wouldn’t want to wake up either with you shouting like that.”
Was that Roland?
“I think I just saw her eyes move!”
And Peter?
A hand touched my shoulder. “Sara, it’s Roland. Can you hear me?”
I tried to move my hand, but it was made of lead. I wanted to grind my teeth in frustration, but I couldn’t do that either.
“There! Her lips moved. See, Pete, I told you the music was a good idea.”
I heard people moving around and then warmth encased my hand. “Sara? It’s time to wake up, moy malen’kiy voin.”
“I’m trying, damn it!” I wanted to say, but no words would come forth.
“Ah, is our beauty still sleeping?” asked a new voice. “Perhaps a kiss from her prince is all she needs.”
“This is no time for your humor, Desmund.” Nikolas’s voice was low and harsh, but his hold on my hand was gentle. Beneath his hard demeanor, I sensed worry and fear. Nikolas, afraid? Impossible.
“On the contrary, laughter is just what she needs. It is far too gloomy in here . . . and what is that awful noise?”
“Hey, she likes this music,” Roland retorted defensively.
“If you gentlemen don’t keep it down, you are all going to have to leave,” the healer interjected with calm authority.
Voices rose in argument, and the room got even noisier. The sounds grated on my ears.
“Stop it,” I yelled, but it came out as a hoarse whisper. It was enough to make the room go silent. Forcing my eyes open, I saw an unshaven face and a pair of shadowed gray eyes. “Hi.”
Nikolas’s hand squeezed mine, and his lips curved into a smile that plucked at an invisible string attached to my heart. “Hi, yourself.”
“What’s going on? Why is everyone in my room?” I coughed the last word and wondered why my mouth and throat were so parched.
“Here.” He placed a hand behind my head to support it and put a glass of water to my lips. I took a long, greedy drink before pushing the glass away.
Someone moved to the other side of the narrow bed, and it took me a second to realize it wasn’t my bed at all, but a hospital bed. Why was I in the medical ward? I struggled to remember what could have put me here, but the edges of my mind were shrouded in dense fog.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Roland asked, his blue eyes cautious. “You scared the crap out of us.”
“Roland?” I thought I had been dreaming when I heard his and Peter’s voices. “What are you doing here?”
His eyes flicked to Nikolas then back to me. “You don’t remember?”
“No, I . . .” Images began to emerge from the shadows: Thanksgiving dinner, a white van, Nate in his wheelchair, Nate standing, Nate chained to a wall . . . I covered my face with my hands as it all came back to me with merciless clarity. “Oh God, I killed Nate.” My body shook, and I could not get enough air into my lungs. Nikolas said something, but all I could hear were the screams of the vamhir demon and the beating of Nate’s heart before it went silent. Arms encircled me and I turned toward Nikolas, curling against him as he murmured in my ear. It took several minutes for his repeated words to penetrate the grief choking me. I jerked away and stared at him in confusion.
“What did you say?”
Nikolas wore the trace of a smile. “Nate is alive.”
I moved my head slowly from side to side. “That’s not possible. I killed him. I felt him die.”
“You killed the vampire.” Tristan walked over to the bed, wonder shining in his eyes. “We have no idea what you did in that room, but Nate is alive.”
“You’re not making any sense. How can the vampire be alive if I killed him?”
“Sara, the vampire is not alive. Nate is,” Nikolas said slowly. “Nate is human again.”
