The sensation of coming awake in an unknown place and situation was one of the worst I’d ever experienced, and it had been happening far too much lately. I needed to change my life choices stat—because this was not fucking healthy.
Whatever the alpha and his beta had hit me with had left behind a raging hangover, and once I finished throwing up bile and whatever dregs had been in my stomach, I rolled over to find myself chained to a bed. Just by one ankle, but it was a silver chain that was reinforced and too strong for me to break—something I knew after several attempts to get free.
When the pounding in my head eased a touch, I pulled myself up to see my surroundings better. I was in Torin’s room. I had a terrible feeling about what this meant; the alpha hadn’t minced his words the last time when he’d all but inserted me into a harem with Sisily. I had to end the bond now—permanently. I just needed to wait until he was in the room and close enough to ensure it would work.
Another throb of pain clamped across my head as I again wondered what was in the powder they’d hit us with. What sort of substance could do that to Shadow and the Library of Knowledge? I mean, how the fuck was it even possible that shifters could sneak into the library without help in the first place?
Or had they followed us?
There had been that movement I’d seen as we’d been leaving Torma with the fireball. I’d written it off as a fox or rabbit, noticing fur in the bushes, but it could have been more. It could have been two lunkhead shifters thinking they were saving me. All the while getting one over on Shadow.
The bedroom door slammed open before I could think about it any further, Torin entering with his bullshit swagger. My wolf stirred in my chest, but it wasn’t like the last time she’d reacted to him. The longing and need were gone. The urge to submit to her alpha and mate had faded against our fury at what he’d done to us. After all the years of bullying and torment, after rejecting me, the fact that he thought he could stroll into my life and make any decisions for me had my body burning with fury.
I craved his blood. Under my nails and in my mouth as I ripped his throat out.
“Hello, mate,” he said cheerfully. “I’m here to release you now that I know you’re not going to suffer any aftereffects of the powder.”
I didn’t say a word, just stared him down with the sort of look that would have worried a more intelligent shifter. This dumbass was too self-involved to even bother looking close enough to see the murder in my eyes.
As his hands wrapped around my ankle, he caressed it slowly, and I forced myself to continue breathing evenly. “Are you happy to be back, babe?” he asked, clearly still stupid.
My jaw was clenched so hard, I couldn’t speak, but I managed to lie with a head nod, and he was happy enough with that. “You’ll forget about your time with Shadow Beast soon enough,” he added as the chain finally clinked and my leg was released.
The moment that happened, my wolf took control. I hadn’t realized in my own fury how absolutely out of control she was, and in seconds, we’d shifted. As a wolf, I did exactly what my father had attempted and attacked the alpha of Torma. I hadn’t expected Torin to anticipate the attack, but somehow the asshole knew.
“Stop!”
It was a command with alpha power behind it, and unlike last time in my human form, his command did actually control my wolf. We snarled and fought, but since technically this was still my pack, I was forced to follow the rules of pack law. Although his control did feel flimsy at best.
“Let’s go for a run,” he added, and he shifted into his wolf so fast that I would have been impressed if he wasn’t such a dickbag.
My wolf tried to attack again, but he kept her locked down with his magic, our legs only able to move when we were following him as he intended. She didn’t fight again, and I knew deep down that my wolf still held out a small hope of claiming her mate, no matter how pissed she was today.
Human me, on the other hand, would never stop trying to rip this fuck’s face off.
Torin kept his power locked over us for the entire run, and it was bittersweet to cross pack lands with my mate, but once again, be a damn prisoner. A time better arise soon in which I wasn’t a victim to every powerful asshole who thought he could push his will onto me.
Right now I hated them all.
When Torin was done, we returned to the pack house, and he bounced around me like a playful puppy. My wolf didn’t respond, both of us done with him. Eventually, he shifted back, disappearing to return dressed with Jaxson by his side. They sat in front of me, and I stared at my oldest friend—turned enemy. Even with my wolf vision, he looked tired; the year apart had aged him.
“What can we do to prove that this is where you’re supposed to be?” he asked, leaning forward as he appealed to me. “Torin is in charge now and he’ll make sure no one blames you for your dad’s mistake any longer. You have no idea what we went through to get you back. I don’t understand why you’re not more grateful.”
My wolf growled, the sound deeper than any I’d ever made before as she tapped into a base anger simmering for years inside of us. If these two fucks weren’t careful, I would bring the entirety of the Shadow Realm down on our heads in my fury.
“What do you want from us?” Torin pushed, a stupid smirk on his face. “What if I give you something first to show how serious I am about cementing the bond?”
I needed to be back in human form so I could yell at them, but that would leave me naked in front of these two assholes, and then I’d have a whole new set of problems.
Thankfully, before I had to choose between a rock and a hard place, someone new arrived, tearing across the grass, clothing in hand, and tears streaming down her face. Simone dropped down in front of me, her face shattered, her hands trembling as she held the clothing out toward me.
“I can make your life better than you could ever imagine,” Torin said, and when I tore my eyes from my friend, it was to find him all smug and secure in his amazingness. Thinking he had me exactly where he wanted me by dangling my best friend in front of me.
Worst part was, he was right. I would give up a lot for this moment with Simone. A lot.
“We’ll leave you to catch up,” Jaxson said, knowing me far better than Torin could ever hope to. My independence had always been important, even before my family had fucked our place in the pack, and I hated being hovered over.
Torin wanted to argue, but when Jaxson uttered something close to his ear, he let out a sigh and followed his friend without further disagreement. When they were out of sight, the energy holding me eased so I could change back. I pulled on the sweats Simone had brought for me, my body and hands shaking as I fought to get my shit together.
“Mera,” she breathed, still on her knees in the middle of the pack field. It was like she couldn’t quite make her legs work, shock rendering her motionless.
With my heart slamming against my chest, the intensity of this moment even stronger than I’d expected, I dropped to my knees as well. I had no idea how this was all going to go. Despite her dark locks, Simone had the temper of a redhead, just like me, and she was likely to react one of two ways: either she’d lose her shit and scream at me until she passed out. Or she’d—
She launched herself forward, her arms wrapping tightly around me as sobs choked her. “They told me you were alive,” she spluttered, “but I don’t trust any of those bastards.”
I returned her hug with just as much force, if not more, breathing in her scent, the aniseed particularly strong today. Before I knew it, both of us were bawling our eyes out and trying to talk at a million miles an hour.
“I’ve missed you so much!”
“Been the longest year without you!”
“Going to kill those fucking shifters!”
“How could you leave me here with them!”
On and on, until we got most of our anger and angst out, all while never letting go of the other. When the tears finally subsided, we sprawled back side by side, and I took my first real breath since I’d been stolen away from Shadow. A deep, cleansing sort of inhale.
“I can’t stay here,” I told her quietly. “I have missed you every single day, worried about you, and cried because I wasn’t sure I’d see you again, but not even for you will I stay in Torma with this pack.”
Simone’s face was fierce. “I would never expect that. I’m more than willing to leave here forever. Even my parents… They refused to do anything to help me find you. Not one thing!”
I reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly. “You’re the best friend I could have ever hoped for. You’ve stuck by me through so much bullshit that honestly, I can never repay you. But this journey I’m on now….” I sighed. “It’s dangerous and I don’t want you to regret the decision to come with me. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Simone straightened, gesturing to the near-perfect braid in her hair. “If I can learn to braid my hair, I can do any freaking thing. I’ve shifted twice now. I’m vibing well with my wolf. You don’t have to worry about me.”
She didn’t understand. She would never be able to understand unless she experienced the world as I had in the past year. Shadow’s life was not for the faint of heart, and as much as she was full of fire and bravado, my friend had been more sheltered than me. She’d been babied by her parents, no matter how much she was hating on them right now.
I couldn’t steal her away, even if that was what she thought she wanted today.
“I love you,” I said. “And right now, I have no choice but to stay because I don’t know how to open the doorway to the library, but when I figure it out, I’ll be gone. I’m helping Shadow with something fairly important, and he can’t do it without me.”
She blinked at me. “Shadow?”
Fuck. How did I explain this to her?
“Shadow Beast,” I started, “is not exactly as the tales say. He’s definitely scary and powerful. He’s alpha, more than a little possessive, and multiple times over the past year, I’ve dreamed of stabbing him in the chest. But there’s also something… more about him. A deeper destiny that I didn’t expect. He’s surprisingly noble and good—when you’re not pissing him off.”
Her mouth was ajar, her eyes as wide as saucers as she silently stared at me. “You’re in love with the Shadow Beast?” she finally choked out. “The demon of our nightmares? The god who created shifters?” Leaning over, she placed a hand on my forehead to check for a temperature.
With a chuckle, I gently waved her off. “I’m not in love with him. That would be the height of fucking stupid. But I do need to finish this task.”
She screwed her nose up. “Surely, he can’t need you for anything. I mean, I don’t blame you for wanting to stick around, girl. According to the members of the pack who saw him, he’s about the sexiest thing on two legs that this world has ever seen.”
“Not just this world,” I muttered, irrationally annoyed that others had been discussing him that way.
Simone paled. “I don’t want to know. I’m barely wrapping my head around the fact that you’re finally here. Alive. After this long.”
My smile was genuine, and it felt weird to actually have a moment of happiness, while the rest of me was in a mini-panic over what had happened to Shadow and library…
Turning to Simone, I lowered my voice. “Do you have any idea what they did to get me away from Shadow? They used some sort of powder.”
Simone looked around quickly, her gaze darting left and right before she scooted even closer and whispered as fast as she could. “I know nothing for sure. They keep me out of discussions because I’ve shown time and again I’m Team Mera. But it has something to do with Dannie. They were holding her for ages, and I tried to break in and help her, but by the time I figured out a way through their guards, she was gone.” Her voice wavered as she breathed rapidly. “There was blood everywhere, though, Mera. So much blood that I’m not sure even a shifter could have survived.”
Everything stilled around me as white noise filled my head. Shadow had said Dannie had escaped, but from what Simone had seen…
She had not escaped unscathed.
