Released: Chapter 1

“You wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness.”

– William Shakespeare

“Enjoy your honeymoon.”

A pained moan escapes my dry, cracked lips as I stir, my whole body feeling like it’s been hit by a double-decker bus. The dull ache in my head turns into a sharp stab, sending another deep, pain-filled groan echoing around me.

Blinking gritty eyes open, a screaming wave of panic rushes in when all I see is darkness. My heart thumps in my chest when I close and open my lids again, but I’m still surrounded by the endless black of my nightmares.

“H–hello?” I croak out, my voice a broken thing, rasping among the shadows. Clearing my throat and winching at the dryness, I try again. “I–is anyone there?”

My breathing stutters as I’m met by silence, a full body shiver skittering over me at the cold that surrounds my body. Pushing up onto my elbows, I have to pause as my head swims and throbs all at the same time. Bile burns the back of my already sore throat, but I manage to breathe through it, waiting for the nauseating dizziness to subside. Clenching my hands into the soft bed underneath me, I focus on the cool linen sheets until I can sit up fully with only a slight waver.

Pausing once again, I’m able to concentrate a little more and see that the room is not as pitch black as I first thought. Soft moonlight filters through the cracks of what looks like wooden shutters across the room. There must be a window over there. The hair on the back of my neck lifts at the eerie sight of undefined shapes around the room, the lighting casting everything in a sickly yellow glow.

Gingerly turning my still pulsing head, I can see the dark outlines of various bits of furniture; a large wardrobe and a dressing table with a mirror that reflects a ghostly image of a pale, frightened girl back at me. I quickly move on from the sight to see that I’m in a lavish, chunky wood, four-poster bed with heavy drapes.

A sudden kick in my lower abdomen causes my hand to fly over my bump, a whooshing breath of relief rushing out of me when I feel another movement. I’ve no idea what has happened to me, but the thought that something may have harmed my unborn child brings forth a wave of anger so fierce that spots blur my vision and I have to go back to breathing deeply to calm down.

Taking one final inhale, I steel my spine and slowly shift across the linen, the whisper of the fabric against my bare thighs a comforting noise in the silence.

Wait! Shit, I should be in my wedding dress…shouldn’t I?

Panic flares hotly inside me again, my pulse racing as I vaguely remember that I was wearing my wedding dress before…before everything went dark. Looking down, I touch the silk nightdress that kisses my thighs and furrows my brows as I try in vain to remember when I got changed. My hand clenches into a fist, wrinkling the fabric as useless tears fill my eyes, the memory eluding me.

Suddenly, a noise makes my head snap upwards, and I see the dark shape of a door across from me.

“H–hello?” I rasp, my chin trembling and hands shaking as I grasp onto the post and pull myself to standing. “Who’s there?”

Silence.

A hatch in the bottom of the door springs open, and I almost lose my grip on the wood as my muscles violently jolt, soft light flooding the room for a moment as a tray is pushed through before the hatch closes again. I curse myself for being a coward, even as my heart pounds in my chest. I should have fucking gone over there when it was open!

Taking a step away from the bed, testing how steady I am, I notice a set of drawers next to the bed with an ornate lamp sitting on top of them. Walking over to it using the side of the bed for support, I switch it on, flinching and close my eyes briefly against the light as a sharp pain lashes through my head. I wait for the throb to subside before slowly blinking my eyes open and taking in the room properly.

It’s decadent, with a beautiful, hand-painted bird wallpaper covering the walls, light walnut furniture, and cream and gold silk furnishings. The whole space reminds me of something out of a Jane Austen film, and only adds to the confusion.

Remembering the tray, I glance back over to the door and stare at the covered plate as if there’s a severed head underneath the silver dome. Fuck, for all I know, there might be. My body shudders at the thought, and I debate whether I can just leave it there, that is until hunger makes its presence felt in my empty stomach.

Giving a firm nod of my head—though no one can see my act of bravery—I straighten up and make my way shakily over to the tray. Stooping down, I take an immense breath, grasping the cool metal handle in my only slightly trembling hand.

“Don’t be such a fucking ballsack, Lilly,” I hiss, because we all know pussies are the stronger of the two appendages.

Decision made, I pull the lid off with a small, very lady-like screech, a self-deprecating laugh escaping my lips when I see that it’s only a plate of Welsh Rarebit—aka cheese on toast—with slices of cucumber and a bunch of red grapes. My mouth waters at the smell of melted cheese goodness, and I wonder how whoever made it knew that it was a favourite of mine. I’m not sure whether to be creeped the fuck out or comforted. I should probably be the latter.

Setting the lid on the plush, cream and gold Persian rug, I lift the tray and take it back to the bed, placing it on the top of the blankets and sit down next to it. Taking a piece of warm toast between my fingers, a pleasure-filled moan leaves my lips when the first taste of salty, melted cheddar hits my taste buds, and before I know it, the plate is clean and I’m licking my fingers.

I look around the room again and see that I’d missed a jug of water and a glass sitting on the table alongside the lamp. Taking the tray and placing it on the floor, I get up and pour a glass, glugging the cool liquid until that, too, is empty. Giving an almighty belch, the urge to pee hits me like a truck, and I desperately look round. Seeing a door next to the one with the hatch, I waddle-rush over there, trying to move quickly but not piss myself, as I hope with fanny flaps crossed that it’s a bathroom.

Opening the door, I thank all the gods that exist when I spot a toilet and make a beeline for it, doing a hop jig as I pull my knickers down and sit down. As I relieve myself, I look down to see that the knickers I’m wearing are at least the ones that Ash gave me on our wedding day.

Trying not to think about my fucked up situation too much and my pounding head, I wash up, my jaw cracking with a huge yawn. Making my way back towards the bed, another yawn that would make a lion proud takes over me, my body feeling heavy and sluggish as I drop down onto the soft mattress.

My vision goes hazy, and when my eyes blink open again, there’s a dark figure framed in the now open doorway. My lids shut again, and I feel someone moving me tenderly on the bed, pulling the covers over my body, and smoothing my hair back before placing a kiss on my temple.

“Ash?” I ask weakly, but that can’t be right. There’s no spicy ginger smell. In fact, I can’t smell any of my guys, just a sharp, almost overpowering, cloying cologne.

“Hush now, Violet. Time to get some more rest. We must take care of the baby,” a deep voice whispers, and instead of being soothing, it sounds like nightmares and monsters in the dark, but also familiar somehow.

Before I can try and work out who it is, another wave of exhaustion crashes over me, drowning me in darkness once more.

“It’s been three fucking weeks! What do you mean there’s no fucking sign of her?”

Rage unlike I’ve ever known fills me as I launch my phone across the room with a yell, the sound of it shattering against the fireplace filling our dorm moments later.

My chest heaves as I stare at the glittering shards lying in pieces on the carpet, my fists clenching at my sides when the thought enters my mind that it’s my heart, my soul, lying there as well as my phone.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Ash?!” Loki shouts as he rushes down the stairs. The wrath that I thought couldn’t get any worse increases tenfold when I look at him, red mist coating my vision. My pulse pounds in my ears, and my ability to see my surroundings tunnels, until all I can see is his failure to protect Lilly.

With an almighty roar, I launch myself at him, meeting him as he steps off the stairs with a brutal punch to his jaw that has his head snapping to the side. Not giving him time to recover, I hit him again, this time in the stomach, satisfaction filling my veins as all the breath whooshes out of his lungs, his hand clutching around himself. He straightens up a moment later, and a twinge of guilt runs through me at the sight of blood trickling down from his now split lip. Lowering his arms down to his sides, he looks at me with broken eyes, making the red mist begin to dissipate.

“Fight back, you asshole,” I snarl at him, panting, but my raised fists begin to droop as he just stands there, looking lost. “Fucking hit me!”

“No,” he states, squaring his shoulders. “It’s my fault she’s gone.”

I raise my fists once more, nostrils flaring at his words. It is his fucking fault. He was meant to be watching her when she disappeared. When she was clearly taken from us.

But it wasn’t just his fault. We were all meant to be watching her, and we weren’t there when she needed us. With that thought, all the strength leaves my body, my arms falling back down to my sides, and my chest rising and falling with my heavy breaths. The crippling guilt leaves my chest feeling painfully tight.

“It’s not just your fault, Loki,” I tell him, my voice like sandpaper; all rough and grating.

Moisture fills his eyes, and my broken heart cracks more when he swallows hard, ready to argue. I know that he’s taken this harder than the rest of us because he was meant to be with her at the time, watching over her at the reception party. But then he got caught by his dad, and we all got distracted, which we now suspect was purposeful. I have to tamp down the fresh rush of anger at that thought. That somehow, this stinks of Julian, my father. Especially as he doesn’t seem as upset as a father-in-law should be at the kidnapping of his pregnant daughter-in-law. He’s made next to no effort, bar speaking to the press, to find her. He’s carrying on, as usual, declaring that ‘it’s out of our hands.’ He knows something, I fucking know he does. Nothing is beyond the reach of Black Knight. Especially not a missing family member.

Reaching up, I clasp one of Loki’s shoulders in my hand, pulling him towards me and wrapping my arms around him. My own eyes moisten as he takes a great heaving breath and clutches me back tightly.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Ash,” he whispers, his voice thick and rasping.

“I know, brother. I know,” I reply, my own voice hitching slightly with the pain that we both feel like a knife in the gut that can’t be removed.

I release him just as the door opens and look towards it to see Jax walking in, swollen and split knuckles wrapped around his gym bag. We’re all a mess without our Lilly to keep us in line. He kicks the door shut behind him, looking up at us with red-rimmed eyes.

“Anything?” he asks, and it’s the only word that leaves his lips now since Lilly vanished. I can’t blame him, the urge to cut myself has been so strong, I’ve had to get the guys to hide all the fucking knives and anything sharp. Kai keeps the kitchen ones under lock and key, and the others have hidden their razors from my reach. I shake my head, and he just grunts, dropping his bag and heading to the bathroom.

Loki and I watch him in silence, and just as he gets to the door, the front door bursts open again, crashing into the wall and making all three of us spin around, fists raised. My heartbeat settles a little seeing that it’s Kai, glasses askew and hair an absolute fucking mess. He’s clutching what looks like an open yearbook in his hands, looking down at it, and there’s a flush on his cheeks.

“Guys!” he shouts, then winces when he sees we’re all there in front of him. “Sorry, but I think I found something.”

We all step forward, my stomach doing an uncomfortable flip as my heart races again at his words.

“Well?” Loki asks from next to me, not even giving Kai a chance to say another word. Kai just looks at him, his gaze softening briefly.

“I was looking through all the old yearbooks, trying to see if the ‘Ace’ you told us about after your father’s strange phone call ever attended Highgate,” he tells us, looking at me. “And I fucking found him!” he cries out, voice full of weary triumph.

Before we can answer, he turns the book around, and the world falls down around me as I look at the image on the page, unable to make sense of it at first. It’s a photograph of a couple, a darkly handsome man who looks vaguely familiar, but it’s the woman that he’s got his arm wrapped around that sends chills down my spine.

“Is that…” Jax begins, his rough voice startling me from my own thoughts, though years of training mean that I don’t show it outwardly.

“Lilly’s mom, I believe,” Kai tells us, his voice low. My gaze takes in the thick, wavy brown hair that tumbles over her slim shoulders, slightly darker in colour than Lilly’s, and the hazel eyes, the pixie shaped face. There’s a thud in my chest, a longing for my own pixie princess, that has become a constant companion these past few weeks.

“Not just Lilly’s mom,” I say, finally tearing my eyes away from the picture to read the description below.

“Fuck,” Loki breathes out on my other side.

Fuck is right, and the fact that it’s not the name which we knew of her explains why we couldn’t find out much about her to start with.

“Does this mean that her uncle is actually…her dad?” Loki asks, and I tear my gaze away from the page to look at him, his tired eyes brighter than they’ve been in weeks, his brow furrowed with confusion.

“I think so,” Kai responds, and I turn to look at him.

“And if Ace is Adrian…” I start, the pieces slotting into place, though I still can’t believe that we may have a lead. I don’t trust it. How can I if it turns out to be another dead end. Another split in my soul. Another rupture of my heart.

“Then he has Lilly,” Jax growls out next to me, and the beast inside me purrs at the violence in his tone.

“Well, what the fuck are we waiting for?!” Loki shouts, looking like he’s ready to swim to England right the fuck now if he needs to.

“Wait, we can’t just go rushing in.” I throw my hand out, my palm landing against his chest to stop him from leaving.

“Why the hell not?” Jax rumbles from my other side, and I can feel him practically vibrating with anger.

“Because there is a good chance that my shitstain of a father is involved, and we don’t want him to do anything rash,” I grit out, a headache beginning to form behind my eyes. I reach a hand up and pinch the bridge of my nose as I try to think of a way forward. “Plus, we have no idea if Ace–Adrian even has her. Yes, it’s sketchy as fuck, but we can’t just storm in and torture him if he’s innocent.” I shiver as Jax looks at me with dead eyes, like his humanity has fled and all that’s left is the monster within. “She wouldn’t want you to, Jax.”

He blinks, and just like that joins the rest of us with our gray moral compasses.

“We need eyes on her first, to confirm that she is there to begin with,” I continue, my mind racing.

I snap my head up and lock eyes with Kai, knowing that he just had the same idea I did if the twinkle in his amber orbs is anything to go by.

“Willow,” he murmurs, and I nod.

“The Shadows,” I reply, starting to think aloud. “We’ll owe them a favor.”

“I’ll give them anything bar Lilly and my firstborn,” Loki states, voice clear, and my stare leaves Kai’s to look at my redheaded brother. There’s a rod of steel in his green eyes that I’ve not seen before, a pledge that tells me he’s not messing around. My hand alights back on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“We’re all in agreement then? We contact Hunter and The Shadows?” I ask, looking from Loki, to Kai, and finally Jax. The latter hesitates for a few seconds, and I can see the need to burn down the world to save our girl in the blazing cold fire in his blue eyes.

“But if they can’t find anything by Friday, I’ll go to England and get the information myself,” he tells me, his lips twitching with an evil smirk that makes me glad I’m not at the receiving end of his information-gathering.

“Deal. We’ll all go,” I assure him, copying his nod of agreement.

“Right,” Loki interrupts the serious moment, and I know that whatever will leave his lips next would have our girl glaring at him. My dick twitches at the thought. “Let’s go get our girl back so we can spank her ass for being such a naughty girl and leaving us with blue balls for this long.”

A bark of laughter leaves me at how indignant she’d be to hear that the worst part of her kidnap was its effect on our balls. I know that Loki is just deflecting, using humor to cover his worry at what our girl is going through without us at her side.

As we turn to go, Kai and I in front, I hear a sharp slap and Loki’s protest behind me. My lips split into a grin at the sound.

“What the fuck was that for?” he asks Jax in a disgruntled voice.

“Disrespecting Baby Girl,” Jax replies, and although Loki grumbles, he doesn’t argue with the big guy.

“Don’t worry, Jax,” Kai says as we leave the dorm, walking down the hall towards Willow’s. “By the time we finish telling Lilly about what Loki said, his balls will be frozen solid before she’ll touch them again.”

Jax, Kai, and I laugh then, and even Loki gives a little chuckle. The sound lightens something in my heart, perhaps healing a small fracture too. We may not have much to go on, but it’s more than we had this morning. It’s a start, and for now, it’ll have to be enough.

Just hold on, Princess. We’ll find you.