THE SUN PEEKS through my window, bringing attention to the fact that I spent almost all night writing. I slept for a few hours before waking up and feeling the need to keep writing.
Inspiration hit the moment I stepped into my bedroom and inspected the hat Cade handed me in the driveway. I was about to get rid of it somewhere when something caught my eye.
It was a photo tucked inside the seam of the ball cap.
I peek over at the photo and hat sitting next to me at my desk. They’d been next to me the entire night as words flew from my fingertips. Because of them, I suddenly felt inspired.
And it was Cade Jennings—even when he’s furious with me—who was the inspiration for my words.
I pick up the photo, holding it out carefully in front of me.
It’s a picture of me.
I’d forgotten all about the photo. He’d taken it one of the many nights we’d escaped to our special spot, and I never saw it again.
My thumb gently brushes over the photo as I try to figure out what it means that he still has it. Not only had he held on to it for so long, but he’d kept it tucked into his favorite hat. He’s worn that hat every single day I’ve been here. Has it been there the whole time? Has he had it with him every day for years?
I can’t think of any other explanation. None of it makes sense.
Maybe Cade was as rocked by the things that happened between us as I was. Maybe it killed him more than I thought to leave me standing there alone in that airport.
Maybe all this time, when I was thinking that Cade wanted to forget about the summer we shared, he was still here remembering every moment of it. He didn’t have the luxury of leaving this place behind. Have the memories haunted him the way they’ve haunted me?
I longingly look down at the photo, wishing I could go back and prepare the girl that stares back at me. She was completely unaware of the devastating heartbreak she was about to experience. I look so carefree—so happy. Nineteen year old me didn’t know the heartbreak the man on the other side of the camera would cause me.
Little did I know that heartbreak would change my life in many ways. It shaped who I am today, but it also shaped my career. Heartbroken and devastated, I wrote a book heavily inspired by Cade and me. It was cathartic to funnel all of my feelings into a love story that I could actually control. I never could’ve expected thousands and thousands of people to read it around the world.
The old version of me never could’ve expected how hard it would be to return to see the boy she thought she’d get to love forever. I focus on the marigold tucked into my hair. It’d been the reason Cade wanted to take the photo in the first place. My head rests against Dolly as I smile at Cade, the flower tucked right above my ear.
We found a marigold on our ride.
I need to take a photo with Marigold and her marigold.
I’d obliged because I’d do anything for him. Even if it made me uncomfortable to have photos taken of me. I’d secretly loved being the center of attention if it was him taking the photo.
I just loved being the center of his attention.
Tucking the picture back into the hat, I return my focus to the computer screen. I’d written four chapters overnight. I’d started an entire new manuscript. The characters were aged up a bit, and in my late night plotting session, I’d created an entire new ending for them. It wasn’t the one we first pitched to my editor when selling the duet, but this one feels better. For the first time since I started writing the conclusion novel to a duet that changed my life, I feel hope. I feel like I’m finally giving these characters the happily ever after they deserve.
The words feel right. The story for these characters feels right.
Now if only I could figure out my real life. The things about me that aren’t fiction. Starting with Cade and his intentions by giving me the hat. It’s clear he isn’t hiding the feelings he’s harbored all these years. He’s all but admitted that he wasn’t over me. That he didn’t feel like things were over between us.
Since the moment I arrived, I thought his anger toward me was for not coming back. But there’s more to it. I think he’s not just mad I didn’t come back for Linda or Pippa—I think he’s also upset I didn’t come back for him.
If only he knew I would’ve been on the first flight home if he’d only asked me to be.
We’re a mess and I don’t know how to pick up the pieces between us. We’re both so angry at each other for reasons I can’t even keep track of anymore.
It’s clear he still wants something to happen between us. He made that obvious by kissing me and being upset by me stopping it. He showed me the house that was clearly planned out with me in mind—with my comments all those years ago.
All this time I’ve thought Cade forgot everything we were but he was here living in those memories every day of his life. I want to believe every word he’s telling me. I want to hope that things aren’t really over between us, but I’m scared to have my heart broken again. When I left, I was vulnerable with him. I laid out every single one of my feelings, and he stomped on them. He crushed us. He crushed me. No matter what he says now, I can’t get over the fear of ending up in the exact same position as last time.
I slam my laptop shut, probably a little too forcefully. I’d already sent the chapters to Rudy. He’ll probably be calling me shortly, so I decide to leave my phone in the room before heading downstairs. I don’t want to talk to him right now, not while I’m trying to sort through all the questions rushing through my mind.
I expect to find someone in the kitchen, but it’s completely empty. There’s not any hint that anyone was even up yet—except for the slight smell of coffee lingering in the air and an empty mug sitting next to the sink.
Yesterday Pippa asked me to help her prepare a last minute order for tomorrow, but I don’t know when exactly she’ll be coming to the house. I need to text her, but I don’t know if she stayed at her own place last night or if she slept somewhere else. She looked like she was having a good time with Chase, so she could’ve ended up with him. Maybe I should’ve brought my phone down so I could check in on her. The top of the stables catches my eye from the kitchen window. I take a step closer, looking out at them. From the amount of cars parked in the lot near the stables, there must be a trail ride in session.
I get an idea. Before I know it, I’m pulling on a pair of Pippa’s boots from the mud room and making my way outside.
There’s somebody I haven’t paid proper attention to since my arrival.
It’s time I change that.
