“I’M sorry I have to go.” Mare looks up at me with the smallest frown. I hate the sad look in her eyes. I swipe my thumbs along her cheeks, not caring that we’re standing in the middle of the airport while people hustle around us.
“Stop apologizing,” I demand, pressing a kiss to her hairline. “Don’t apologize for having to work, for working toward your dream.”
“I just…” Her eyes look at the crowded airport around us. It’s far more busy than I was expecting, but with summer coming close to an end, it makes sense that more people may be out traveling.
“Things aren’t like last time, Goldie.” I hate how nervous she looks. I hate knowing that the last time we stood together in this position made her feel this way. “Last time we were here, we were both far younger. I was stupid and didn’t know how to deal with my feelings. I didn’t know how to keep you and let you have your dreams. But this is different. My love for you won’t falter. I’m in it, baby. No matter where you are. No matter how long we’re apart.”
She nods, reaching up to grab both my forearms. My hands cradle her cheeks as we stare at each other for a few moments.
“I know you have to go finish the book and you’ll be busy, but don’t forget about me here in Sutten, okay?”
She laughs. “Pippa has made me swear to call her every day.”
“I don’t need every day. Texts would be nice. Hearing your voice, maybe seeing your face on FaceTime now and then, but I respect your job. Do what you need to do to finish this book so we can be back together again.”
“When will that be?”
I shrug. We don’t have everything figured out. There’s still a lot I have to do at the ranch since Mom’s death. We’re slowly catching up on work and getting more customers again, but it’s a slow process. “I’ll try and come out to Chicago as soon as I can.”
“And I’ll try to finish the book so I can come back to Sutten as soon as possible.”
“I love you,” I say, just needing to say the words. I want to repeat them over and over again. I know I can’t erase the damage that was done last time we were in this position, but maybe if I tell her I love her enough this time, the old memory will become a little less prominent in her mind.
“I love you, too.”
When her bottom lip trembles slightly, I pull her body into mine. My arms wrap around her, caging her in and pressing her to my heartbeat. Her tears don’t hurt the way they did last time. They still hurt, but it’s different. Last time it was so heartbreaking to see her cry it felt like a piece of my soul died having to hurt her. This time, it feels like a piece of my heart is leaving, but I have the comfort and assurance to know that it’ll return.
“I don’t want to go.” Her words are muffled as she talks into my T-shirt.
“You have to, baby.”
“I know. It doesn’t suck any less.” Her shoulders shake as she cries. I just hold her. She cried while saying goodbye to Pippa before she left for the airport. She bawled when my dad hugged her goodbye and told her Linda would be so happy to know Mare finally came back. I comforted her both times, and I do the same right now. I hate the thought of her leaving, but it’s something I’m at peace with. We won’t be apart forever. Either I’ll visit her soon or she’ll come see me. Being apart will be fucking hard, but we’ll do it. We’ll make it through this.
“Promise me this won’t be the end of us?” The look on her face is so vulnerable. The shakiness to her words about kill me.
“I can survive being away from you—even though I don’t want to—I won’t fucking survive losing you again. This isn’t the end of us.”
“Okay.” She lifts to her tiptoes and presses a kiss to my lips.
We stand there, using our lips to say everything we can’t put into words.
I don’t know how many people pass us or how long we stand there, but we kiss and kiss some more until both our mouths are rubbed raw.
A voice comes over the intercom, telling us that Mare’s flight will begin boarding soon.
“Rudy will be picking me up as soon as I land to go into meetings, but I promise to keep in touch.”
My forehead presses into hers. “Don’t worry about me. I can’t wait to hear all about what they think.”
“I love you,” Mare whispers. Tears now fall from her eyes. I wipe them away, wishing they weren’t there.
“I love you with everything that I am. We’ll make it through this, you hear me?”
She nods, rubbing her tear-soaked lips together. The sight of her crying makes my throat swell with emotion.
“I know we will.”
I grab her arm and walk her toward security. The line isn’t terrible so she should still have enough time to make it to her gate before they finish boarding.
“I love you, Goldie. Good—”
“Don’t say goodbye,” she says immediately. “I don’t want it to feel final.”
I nod, pulling her to me for one final kiss. “Hi,” I whisper against her lips.
She laughs, a sob coming from her throat right after. “Hi,” she responds back.
“I love you,” I repeat, making good on the promise I made to myself that I’d make sure she knew how much I loved her.
“The kind of love that lasts forever.”
“The kind of love that lasts past forever.”
I kiss her, letting the feeling of it brand into my mind forever. I don’t want to forget the way her lips feel against mine. I have to keep it in my head—in my heart—to hold onto until we’re together again.
“Until next time,” I say against her forehead.
“Until next time,” she repeats.
We share one last kiss before she reluctantly peels herself from me. Neither one of us look away from one another until she gets swallowed in the line of people waiting at security.
It hurts like a bitch to see her go. It already feels like a piece of myself is missing, but this time I have the luxury of knowing it won’t be long until we’re together again.
I know that this time, this won’t be the ending to our story.
