I often wonder if the past looks better to people because they hate the present so much or if it looks better because it was better. Expressions like “the good ole days” implied that life used to be of a higher quality than it is now, but I think everything looks better in retrospect. After all, it’s not like we get the chance to go back and relive it knowing what we know now and test that theory.
Except for me.
I did get to come back home. To a place I hated. A life I didn’t want. And to a boy I despised.
And even given all of that, I’d still missed Madoc. I never stopped wanting him and loving him.
I had still been obsessed with hurting him even though in the pit of my stomach the ache of needing him still burned. I thought for sure I would come home to a revelation, like: Why did I ever think I loved him, or What the hell was I thinking?
But no. In this case I didn’t remember our time together fondly because I wanted to. I remembered it fondly because it was that good.
I remembered the truth. Not some watered-down, sugarcoated version my mind whipped up after time dulled the pain.
It really was that good.
“Madoc,” I warned in a playful voice.
He breathed a laugh in my ear. “You’re so warm everywhere,” he said, spooning me. “And still wet.”
His arm was draped over my waist with his hand rubbing between my legs.
We’d fallen asleep last night after a much sweeter and calmer round of lovemaking, and I was exhausted. After barely getting sleep the night before, the long drive back to Shelburne Falls, discovering the boxes in the basement, and then coming back here last night, I needed rest and food.
But I still smiled, because I knew why he’d woken up early.
He was probably on high alert even though he didn’t realize it. His subconscious probably thought I was going to skip out when he was asleep.
“I was dreaming about you.” I yawned and then nestled my nose into the pillow. It had the scent of his cologne all over it, and I just wanted to pull the sheet over my head and crawl into his smell.
His fingers began to work their magic, stroking and circling around me, and I felt the throb of my arousal.
“Tell me about the dream,” he urged.
Mmmmm . . . I had a better idea. Yeah, my head felt like a balloon, and I could barely open my eyes, but who cared?
Reaching over, I took one of the condoms Madoc dumped on the nightstand last night after the first time. I should’ve known then that he had plans in the middle of the night.
Turning over, I pushed him onto his back and climbed on top, straddling him.
Licking my lips, I ran a finger across his cheek. “I think I’ll show you.”
• • •
“Oh, my God. You remembered.” I covered my mouth with my hands, accidentally letting the sheet fall to my waist as I sat up in bed. Pulling it back up, I eyed the box of Krispy Kremes like it was the living end. My stomach growled immediately.
He plopped down, lay on his side, and opened the box that sat between us. “No, not really,” he admitted. “Addie still gets them every Sunday. She gets our regular assortment. Lemon-filled for you, chocolate-glazed for me, and just plain glazed for my dad.”
And nothing for my mom, I remembered. She would never eat doughnuts.
He picked up his favorite and took a bite. The flaky icing on his lips moved as he chewed, and for some reason, my heart nearly exploded.
Diving in, I snatched up his unsuspecting lips, and had to hold back my laugh when he jerked in surprise. Licking off the icing, I couldn’t believe how hungry I was. Madoc made me promise not to leave bed without permission for twelve hours, and now I thought he’d have to drag me away.
It wasn’t food I wanted now.
I hovered over his mouth. “I like you.”
He inched back, peering at me with suspicion. “I thought you loved me.”
“Oh, I do. But we can love people we don’t like. You know?” I dug in the box for my lemon-filled. “Like our parents, our siblings . . . but with you, I like you, too. I like being with you and talking to you.”
He narrowed his eyes and stuffed a huge bite into his mouth. “You just think I’m cool, because I have all of the seasons of Vampire Diaries on DVD.”
Oh, my God!
I burst out laughing, covering my full mouth with my hand as I chuckled.
“You do not!” I blurted out, disbelieving. “You don’t still watch it, do you?”
He scowled at me and snatched another doughnut from the box.
“It’s your fault,” he grumbled. “You just had to watch it every Thursday, and then I got hooked.”
“Madoc.” I swallowed the rest of my bite. “I haven’t watched it in years.”
“Oh, you should.” He nodded. “Damon and Elena? Yeah. Then there was Alaric. That kind of sucked. And then the Originals came into town. They’re pretty awesome. They have their own show now.”
I started laughing again, and he cut his eyes to me, frowning.
“I’m serious,” he implored.
“I can tell.”
We sat there, eating and chatting for the next hour, and then Madoc reluctantly let me out of bed after I’d begged to use the bathroom.
I wanted to go for a run, but I’d had sex four times in the last nine hours. I was sweaty, sticky, and sore. I needed a hot shower badly.
I also needed some think time to figure out what I should do about my mom and how I was going to tell Madoc the rest. The baby, my mother trying to take his house . . . We were both feeling so good now, and I didn’t want to ruin the high. I just had to tell him and get it over with, though. He’d be so angry with my mom, and perhaps a little angry with me for keeping it from him, but I trusted that he’d stand by me.
I opened his body wash, smelling its wonderful contents that sent the hormones buzzing wildly throughout my body.
As if on cue—I think he had a sense about when my body needed him—he opened the glass shower door and stepped in.
His eyes were dark—almost angry—as he scaled down my body.
“Hell, Fallon,” he said in a low growl. Pulling me into him, he dipped his head to wet his hair, smoothing it back.
His mouth came down on mine, and I forgot all of my worries in the warmth of the shower and safety of his arms.
“Want to watch a movie?” I asked as he tossed me a towel. We’d finally emerged from the shower an hour later, and I thought going down to the in-house theater would be a good opportunity to talk to him. Alone, away from Addie’s loving ears.
He’d wrapped a towel around his waist and had another one on his head as he dried his hair. “Well, I was thinking it might be fun to see if Lucas is around today. I need to see him.”
I didn’t say anything. He was right. It was my fault Madoc had left early last summer and was taken away from Lucas. We needed to see him right away.
“And then I was hoping you might stay here a couple of extra days,” he continued. “I’m on Fall Break, so I don’t have to be back until next weekend.”
Disappointment weighted me to the same spot. “Northwestern doesn’t have Fall Break.”
He nodded, leaning on the bathroom counter looking hot as hell with his hair spiked up everywhere. “I know. I looked it up this morning. But if you can spare a couple of days, it might be worth it.”
“Why?”
I’d love nothing more than to stay here and spend extra time with him, but my classes weren’t for the faint of heart. Miss one day and you miss a lot. I’d already missed Friday.
“Your mom’s trying to take the house. I want to go talk to Jax and see if he can help.”
“How would he be able to help?” I walked toward him, and he swung his towel off of his neck and around my towel-clad body, pulling me in closer.
“He’s good with computers,” he explained. “He can find things on the Internet others can’t. I just want to see if we can find anything on her.”
He wasn’t going to. My father’s man had already been all over it, and other than frequenting male prostitutes, my mother’s life consisted only of shopping, dining, and socializing. Madoc’s dad had the info that he refused to use.
I didn’t tell Madoc that, though. He knew my role in our parents’ divorce, and I wasn’t going to remind him.
“Jared, just give it a chance!”
Madoc and I both jerked our heads toward his bedroom door at the shouting outside.
“Woman, you are high!” Jared barked. “No way.”
“Oh, you’re such a pussy! It’s just ballroom dancing,” Tate yelled.
Madoc and I both looked at each other wide-eyed before running to his door and yanking it open together.
Jared and Tate had just rounded the corner and were heading down the hall in the opposite direction toward the other side of the house. To their room, presumably.
Jared turned around, walking backward. “Absolutely not.”
Madoc slung an arm around my shoulder and called out. “What is she trying to get you to do now?”
Tate swung around, hands on her hips, while Jared stopped retreating.
“Ballroom dancing lessons,” he gritted out. “I don’t know where she got the idea.”
Tate looked down. “I just thought it could be a new experience, Jared,” she said with her back to him. “I can’t expect Madoc to dance with me at every occasion, can I?”
I narrowed my eyes, studying her. Every occasion?
And then it hit me.
A wedding.
That’s what she was thinking, only Jared’s severe arched brow and Madoc’s snort told me they didn’t get it.
She was in love with Jared, and even I could see that he had every intention of marrying her someday. She’d want him to dance with her at their wedding, of course. And Jared didn’t dance.
He might not need the skill for a few years, but she was just thinking ahead. Chewing on the side of her mouth, she looked angry, but she had too much pride to say why she really wanted him to learn.
“I’ve got an idea,” I spoke up, holding the towel securely around me and peeking around the door frame.
“A race,” I suggested. “She wins, and you have to take lessons until you can waltz like a pro. You win, and you don’t have to.”
He looked away with a bored expression. “I don’t have to right now. What’s really in it for me?”
Tate pinched up her lips, looking about ready to beat the shit out of him.
“All right, dickhead.” She spun around and addressed her boyfriend. “You win, and I’ll do that thing you’ve been wanting me to do.”
His eyes perked up, flashing with mischief, and I’d imagine that’s what Jared Trent looked like on Christmas morning.
“Do you have a deal?” Madoc asked.
Jared strolled up to Tate, pinching her chin between his fingers. “Next Saturday night. I’ll call Zack and set it up.” And he walked to their room, digging his phone out of his pocket on the way.
“What does he want you to do?” I could hear the smile in Madoc’s voice. “Anal? I would’ve thought you two had been there by now.”
Tate’s hair swayed across her back as she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. He’ll lose.”
She sounded more confident than sure.
Madoc laughed. “Yeah, okay. The last time Jared lost a race was . . . hmm, never.”
He’s right.
I think I’d just had a really stupid idea, and Tate was in for it now.
