What?
How could he be texting me while he’s fucking someone else?
Adrenaline rushed through me, taking my nerves on a roller coaster ride of emotions.
Amelia: Are you on the bus?
Justin: No. At Dave and Buster’s down the road from the venue getting a drink. How’s Bea feeling?
It wasn’t him.
It wasn’t him fucking that girl on the bus!
Clutching my chest, I let out the breath that seemed to have been trapped inside, suffocating me a moment earlier. It felt like I’d been shot with a tranquilizer gun full of euphoria.
Amelia: Still has a cold. She’s with my friend Susan because I’m here. Right outside your bus.
Justin: Holy fuck! Don’t move. I’m heading back.
Rubbing my hands over my arms, I stood waiting in the cold for at least ten minutes. The two people who’d been screwing inside of the bus suddenly exited. The man was good-looking, but he was no Justin. I also confirmed that the female participant definitely wasn’t Olivia.
A crowd of women suddenly gathered toward the entrance. The guard could be heard saying, “Back. Back! Let him by!”
It was then that I saw Justin break through the swarm of people. He passed through the chain-link fence and was looking around frantically before his gaze locked in on me.
The commotion around us seemed to dissipate as he walked toward me and enveloped me in his arms. I practically melted into him. He smelled like a mixture of cologne, smoke and beer. It was intoxicating and made me want to bathe in it. I wanted him all over me.
“You’re cold as ice,” he whispered into my ear.
“Just hold me. Keep me warm.”
“I really need to do more than hold you right now.” He pulled back to take me in, giving my outfit a once over. “Fuck,” he growled. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but why do you look like a whore?”
“I was dressing for the occasion. Too much?”
“Hell no. This is just what I needed. It just pisses me off that you were waiting around for me in public dressed like that. The fucking guys around here are worse than the girls. Anyone mess with you?”
“No.” Looking down at myself, I said, “I’m sorry if it’s too much. I just figured I had to compete with all those groupies.”
“Don’t apologize. But you don’t have to compete with anyone, Amelia. You never did.” He put his forehead on mine, and time seemed to stand still. “When I was performing tonight, all I could think about was how badly I wished you were here. I was at the bar drowning my sorrows when you texted. I still can’t believe you made it.” He took in a deep breath of the skin on my neck. “I’m hard as a rock just smelling you right now. We need to go somewhere to be alone. We don’t have a lot of time before the buses leave.”
“Where can we go?”
He placed his hands on my cheeks. “Fuck. I just want to take you with me on the bus, spend the night with you until the sun rises over the next city.”
“I would love that so much. I’m sorry I can’t be the kind of girl that can just go on tour with you.”
“You have bigger things to be taking care of. By the way, you sure this friend watching Bea is someone you can trust?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
He rubbed my shoulders. “Stay right here. Let me just go check what time we’re leaving Massachusetts.”
I waited as Justin ran to the other tour bus. When he returned, he looked anxious. “We have exactly two hours before the buses take off for Philly. I would introduce you to the band, but they’ll talk your ear off, and I really don’t want to waste this time.”
“What are we gonna do?”
“They just told me there’s a small hotel down the road. We can go there to be alone if you want. If you prefer, we can stay here, but then we’d have to socialize.”
“Being alone sounds good to me.”
Justin brushed his thumb along my cheek. “Good choice.”
He took the keys from me and drove us to the hotel in my car. During the ride, he held my hand tightly and didn’t let go. At one point, he flashed me a sexy side glance. “God, you look good.”
I joked, “Even though I look like a cheap groupie?”
“Especially because you look like a cheap groupie.” He winked. His gaze returned to the road for a bit before his voice lowered. “I wasn’t prepared for how lonely this tour was going to be. Seeing you makes me realize it even more.”
We pulled into the hotel, and Justin checked us in and got us a key card. We had exactly one hour and forty-five minutes before he had to report back to the bus.
The room was dark, but neither of us turned on the light. Unsure of what was supposed to be taking place here, I waited for him to take the lead after the door clicked shut behind us.
He slowly prowled toward me then pressed his chest against mine. “Jesus. Your heart is pounding. Are you nervous to be alone with me or something?” Nuzzling my neck, he added, “The way I’m feeling right now, maybe you should be.”
Scared to admit what was really eating away at me and also not wanting to ruin the mood, I remained silent, just staring at him before my gaze dropped to the floor.
He took my chin in his hand. “Look at me.” When our eyes met, he said, “I haven’t been with anyone else, Amelia…in case there was any question in your mind. I don’t want anyone else. I hope you don’t, either.”
“How did you know what I’d been thinking just now?”
“I guess I’m just in tune to you like that. I had a feeling you needed that reassurance. I don’t want you wondering anymore about that.” He kissed me on the forehead. “Now that we got that out of the way, I do need to be honest with you about something.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Okay.”
“I somehow thought I could handle five months with no sex, but the reality is…I’m feeling more like an animal in heat than a celibate monk.”
I laughed. “Oh really.” My tone turned serious. “Maybe I can help. Tell me what you need.”
“Confession,” he said over my lips. “I didn’t exactly take you here so we could talk.”
I kissed him. “Confession. I didn’t exactly dress like a dirty groupie so you could sing to me.”
His mouth was against mine as it curved into a wry smile. Within seconds, he took my face in his hands before his lips swallowed mine whole. A stifled moan escaped from me into his starving mouth as our tongues moved frantically to taste one another. I loved the controlled way he always grabbed my face when he kissed me. This time was different from any other moment we’d been together because it lacked any trace of caution or hesitation. He was unapologetically taking what he wanted, and I was fully letting him. We were both on the exact same page, surrendering to what our bodies needed, and nothing was off limits. If it weren’t for the fact that he was leaving in an hour, this would have been like a dream come true. But we were on borrowed time, and we both knew it.
His hands slid slowly down my back as he grabbed my ass, pushing me against his erection and kissing me hard. He sucked my bottom lip before releasing it slowly. “Last chance to stop me.”
“Make every second count,” I said in between kisses. “For the next hour, my body is yours, Banks.”
“I’ve only waited a decade to hear you say that.”
That was where the conversation ended. Justin pressed his rock hard chest into me, pushing me into the window. My back was against the glass as he began to kiss me so hard that my lips hurt from the suction. My hands took on a mind of their own, eager to explore him. I threaded my fingers through his hair, rubbed my palms down his chest, gripped his ass. Overwhelmed, I wished I could touch every single part of him at once.
“It’s going to be a while before we get to do this again. We need to make it last,” he said as he fisted my hair and bent my head back. He kissed down my neck slowly. “Don’t ever forget that I respect the hell out of you,” he said as he stuck his hand up my dress and grabbed onto my panties.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I’m about to fuck you full of disrespect.” He ripped my underwear off, the elastic burning my thighs from the friction.
My pussy was already wet and ready for whatever he had in mind. Whereas before he had gently kissed down my throat, now he was sucking hard on the skin at the base of my neck. I felt two of his fingers slip inside of my opening. His mouth stilled on my neck the moment that they were fully deep inside me. He said something unintelligible as he shook his head slowly in ecstasy before suddenly flipping me around so that I was facing the glass.
He pulled his fingers out and almost immediately I felt the burn of his cock replacing them as he sunk into me. “Fuck,” he muttered.
I hadn’t expected him to take me so soon. From the sound he let out when he was all the way inside of me, I don’t think even he expected to lose control so fast.
It felt painfully pleasurable as my skin stretched to open for him. Justin’s cock was thick. I’d always admired its girth, but it was another experience altogether to actually feel how completely he filled me—skin to skin. He hadn’t put a condom on, which surprised me. I was too weak to question it, enjoying the raw sensation too much to think about anything else. But I’d come prepared.
“Please tell me you’re on the pill. I’ve never done it like this before, but I don’t think I can stop either way. It feels too damn good.”
I’d never seem him lose control like this.
“I am. I just started taking it. Don’t worry.”
“Thank fuck.” His muscles seemed to relax.
As he moved in and out of me, he lifted my dress over my head before throwing the frock aside. There was something so sexy about being completely naked while he was still fully clothed. His pants were hanging halfway down his legs, and his belt buckle clanked as he pounded into me.
I could see our reflection in the window. He was looking down at my ass the entire time, mesmerized as he watched our bodies joined together. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of it. His palm was firmly planted on my ass cheek to guide the movements of his thrusts, his nails inadvertently digging into my skin.
He began to suck on his finger, and before I could wonder what he was doing, I felt it inside of my ass as he continued to penetrate me with his cock at the same time. No one had ever done that to me before, and while his finger there felt foreign, the pleasure derived from the double penetration was incredible.
He pushed it inside slowly until it was all the way in. I let out a long breath.
“You like that, huh? When we have more time, we’ll try it the other way around. I want to fuck that ass so badly. But we need time for that.”
I simply moaned in agreement, too turned on by what he was doing to form words.
He pulled his finger out. He was now holding onto my ass with both hands, spreading it apart with his thumbs as he fucked me harder and faster.
“I love the way your ass jiggles when I’m pounding into it.” He slapped me. “Fucking beautiful.”
My muscles tightened every time he’d open his mouth. I’d always loved to be talked to during sex, but his dirty, gravelly voice was the sexiest I’d ever heard. Every single time he’d speak, my muscles would spasm.
“Tighten against my cock like that again.”
I clenched around him.
“Fuck. That feels good,” he growled. “I want you to do that when I’m coming inside you.”
I wanted him to spank me again. I never imagined the pressure of his hand would feel so good; but it did.
What was happening to me?
My voice was throaty when I said, “Slap my ass again.”
He obliged, and when he struck me this time, the sting of his hand was perfect.
Everything about this experience was unlike anything I’d ever felt before from the skin to skin contact, to the forceful way he fucked me. He’d broken through a barrier of pleasure that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. I didn’t know how I was going to live without this now that I knew what it was like.
I could feel his body trembling at my back. “I need to come. Tell me when you’re close,” he said into my ear.
I watched his face in the reflection and now, instead of looking down, he was looking straight at my face.
“I’m coming,” I said as I tightened my muscles like he’d wanted.
“Fuck. Oh God, Amelia. That feels…oh shit…I’m coming,” he groaned out then muttered low,” Yeah, baby. I’m coming. So good. So fucking good.”
Warm cum filled me as I continued to squeeze around his cock. Justin stayed inside of me, fucking me slowly long after he came, kissing my back softly.
“Shit. I don’t know what that is that you do when you tense your pussy around me, but I’m going to be jerking off to it for the next four months.”
“What was that we just did?” I asked facetiously. “That didn’t feel like just sex. That was far too incredible.”
“That was a decade’s worth of frustration barreling out of me, baby.”
“You’re so good, Justin. It was worth the wait.”
He slowly pulled out of me and turned me around, planting a firm kiss on my lips. “We have forty minutes.”
“What are we gonna do?”
“I need you again.”
My eyes widened. “Can you go again so soon?”
“With you? I could go all night. No one’s ever made me lose control like that. That’s how it should feel every single damn time, like it’s all that matters in the world. I couldn’t give a shit if the world is crumbling around me when I’m inside of you.”
We smiled at each other, and the streetlights from outside shined into his beautiful blue eyes. Forty minutes wasn’t long enough. To squelch the dread creeping in, I took off his shirt and began to kiss his chest softly.
“This time is gonna be different, okay?” he said.
I simply nodded, anxiously awaiting his direction. He stripped out of his underwear, and I could see his dick was still gloriously hard, glistening with arousal.
“Lie down, Amelia.”
Admiring his chiseled body, I lay on the bed and backed up against the headboard.
When he turned on the small desk lamp, I asked, “What are you doing?”
“I want to look at you for a while. Is that okay?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Spread your legs apart,” he demanded.
Justin kneeled at the foot of the bed as he took in the sight of me.
“So sexy…seeing you wide open like that with my cum dripping out of you. Fuck, Amelia,” he breathed out as he started to jerk himself off. He looked down at his engorged shaft. “I’m ready to go again. This is fucking crazy.”
“We don’t have a lot of time. I need you inside of me again.”
“Touch yourself for a little bit.”
I positioned my fingertips at my clit and began to circle them around. The room was so quiet except for the slick sound of his cock moving against his hand.
“Open wider, Amelia.”
Spreading my knees further apart, I had to curb the need to come.
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” I whispered.
This time when he sunk into me, it was slow and controlled. He stopped when he was fully inside and just stayed there without moving for a while.
“How the fuck am I going to be able to leave you after this?”
When he picked up the pace again, it felt better than ever, not only because of the pressure of his weight on top of me but because we were both fully naked, our skin rubbing together. The room was cold, but the heat of his body warmed me.
I held onto his ass, pushing him deeper into me as he circled his hips. His breathing matched the rhythm of his movements. When my orgasm suddenly rolled through me, he must have been able to feel it, because he also came without warning, grunting loudly in my ear. There was no sweeter sound that the noises he made when he came.
He collapsed over me and said, “Thank you for giving this to me. It’s the only thing that’s gonna get me through the rest of this time away.”
Looking at the time shown on my phone, I felt sick. We had ten minutes before we had to drive back to the bus. It was odd to feel sated and scared at the same time. He’d left my body completely satisfied, yet my heart was still yearning for more. It just wanted to hear those three words so desperately.
***
When we arrived to his bus, I gripped his black jacket, unable to let him go. After what we’d just done, my attachment to him was stronger than ever. It felt more impossible to let him go now than it ever had before.
“I want you to meet the crew before we leave.”
Although I wasn’t feeling very social, I said, “Okay.”
Justin brought me inside the bus. A bunch of guys were sitting around eating pieces of a gigantic apple pie that looked like it was from Costco. It smelled like a mixture of coffee and beer. Justin went down the line, introducing me to each crew member. They were all super nice and down to earth. I didn’t have a chance to meet Calvin Sprockett, since he was on the other bus.
A few minutes later, the one person I’d dreaded meeting the most finally made her appearance.
“Is everyone accounted for?” Olivia asked, holding a walkie talkie.
Justin looked at me and whispered, “That’s Olivia.”
He didn’t realize I’d already known what she looked like from my stalking. I was starting to feel nauseous, and it only got worse with each step she took toward us. With luxurious dark hair and a megawatt smile, she was even prettier than her pictures.
I fucking hated her.
“I see we have an extra passenger?” Olivia said.
Seeming to lose my ability to speak, I smiled like a fool without saying anything.
“Olivia, this is my girlfriend, Amelia,” Justin said.
Girlfriend.
The fear inside of me began to slowly evaporate. He hadn’t said the “L” word, but he’d finally given me the validation that I so desperately needed, especially now with him leaving again.
Olivia hadn’t seemed too surprised. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Amelia.”
“Likewise.” I smiled.
“Are you coming with us to Philly?” she asked.
“No. I have a baby girl at home, so I’m not able to travel.”
“That’s right. Justin showed me her picture.”
It further calmed me to know that he’d also spoken to her about Bea.
“Well, it was nice meeting you,” Olivia said before giving Justin a slight look of warning. “Buses are leaving in five.”
Waiting for her to get out of earshot, I said, “So, that’s Olivia…”
“Yep.”
“She sleeps on the other bus?”
“Yeah. The tour manager goes on the main bus.” He smiled, examining my expression and seeming amused at my transparent relief.
He nudged at my dress, and my nipples immediately perked up. “Let’s get you a jacket,” Justin said. “Then I’m gonna tell the driver to hold up while I accompany you to the car. I don’t want you walking alone.”
Justin retrieved one of his black hoodies and held it open for me. I zipped it up, loving the smell of his cologne that saturated it. He led me by the hand across the VIP lot to the regular parking area.
Justin gazed into my eyes as we stopped in front of my car. He held me tightly as he buried his nose in my hair. “You’re lucky we don’t have any more time. I’d take you right against this car.”
“I’d let you.”
“Thank you for tonight, Amelia. You were amazing. I’m gonna fucking miss you so much.”
I spoke against his chest. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah…”
“When did you decide I was your girlfriend?”
He looked up at the sky and hesitated as if he had to really ponder it. His answer wasn’t what I was expecting. “The matinee show of El Amor Duele at the little red theater circa 2005. I wasn’t even paying attention to the movie. You were really into it. I was really into you. You didn’t realize I was staring at you the whole time. You were so enthralled with the movie that you didn’t even notice that you’d finished your popcorn. You kept shoveling it into your mouth. Without your knowing, I replaced your empty bucket with my full one. You just kept eating. I decided at that moment that whether you knew it or not, you were my girlfriend. I kept telling myself…that after the show, I was finally gonna make you aware of that fact, too.”
“What happened?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I chickened out.” We both laughed and could see our breaths colliding in the cold air. Justin looked down at his phone. “Shit. They’re texting me to hurry up. I have to go.”
“Alright.”
He pulled me into him as tightly as he could and planted one final kiss on my lips. “I’m gonna miss you so much. Thank you again for coming.” He wriggled his brows. “And for coming again. And for letting me come.” As I giggled against his lips, he said, “You were so amazing.”
“Call me tomorrow.”
“Be careful driving home.”
“Okay.”
He lingered then said, “It’s never been that way for me, never felt that way with anyone else.”
I loved hearing that.
“Me neither.”
Our hands stayed intertwined until the pull of his walking away naturally ripped our fingers apart. Justin ran across the lot.
I got into my car and turned on the heat. I stayed idling until the two buses pulled out and disappeared from sight.
Later that night, I’d just arrived back at the beach house when my phone chimed with a text from Justin.
All that time I spent mad at you…I could have been fucking you. What a dumbass.
