When I get home, a little tipsy, and Payne still isn’t there, the worry kicks in again.
I remind myself of what Marty said, of why I like Payne and the fact he’s a good person. The best person. And those kinds of people don’t mess with others’ feelings.
Especially not after what happened to him.
But when you’re boning with a mystical creature, i.e. The Perfect Man, you find it hard to believe. And damn am I finding it hard. When I look in the mirror all I can see is a neurotic mess who’s in his midthirties and hasn’t even begun to get his life together.
Sure, I have money, but the rest of my life is a mess. Whereas Payne has his shit together, emotionally and mentally, which is the kind of headspace you can’t buy.
And I know that because I would have by now if I could.
Money means nothing; character means everything. And when it comes to character, Payne has me beaten by a mile.
I flick the lights on inside, rather than open the curtains. It’s late afternoon, so it’s still light out, but I want to block out time until Payne is back and I get some answers.
Then I spot something that clears the worry like nothing else has.
A little yellow crane.
It’s perched nonchalantly on my desk, exactly where Payne would have left it if he wanted me to see it first thing, and if I hadn’t woken up so late, I would have.
I pluck it from my desk and immediately check the wing, finding five words in his handwriting.
You deserve everything and more.
That’s positive, right?
The door clicks open, and when Payne walks in, I have to resist the urge to fling myself at him. I’m feeling needy and hopeful, and I have no idea where I stand. My hands are turning the crane over and over, and I can’t stop. The last thing I want to do is immediately launch into quizzing him about how it went, because I’m not sure if I’m supposed to know.
Payne is smiling, and I’m finding it hard to know if that’s good smiling, or … The idea of Payne ever getting back together with Kyle is slim, but that insecurity is still there. He loved him at one point.
“Not working?” Payne asks.
I shake my head, and he does a double take.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Totally.”
His eyes are trained on me as he crosses the living room to stand in front of where I’m standing.
I swallow around the obstruction in my throat and force myself to meet his gaze. “Umm, hi.”
“Hello.”
“Did you have a nice day?”
“I did.”
Because … why? “Oh.”
He chuckles and takes my hand to lead me to the couch. When he drops down on it, he pulls me into his lap. “Isn’t me having a nice day a good thing?”
“Umm. Yes. Maybe. Well, it is, but it depends what was nice about it …”
“Well, you’re definitely not okay. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t start lying to me now, Bo-Bo.” Then he leans in and brushes his lips over mine. “Tell me.”
Relief flows through my body, and I grab a fistful of his shirt. “Ford said you went to Boston, and I was worried you were seeing Kyle and going to get back with him.”
“Huh.”
I bite my lip. “Did you?”
“See him or get back with him? Because if I did one of those things, I wouldn’t be holding you right now.”
“You went though?”
“I did.”
“And you didn’t, umm, tell me.”
“No. It was something I had to do for myself. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure I’d get the outcome I wanted, and then you’d know I failed. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I thought I’d duck down there and back before you’d even know I was gone, then I could have surprised you with the good news.”
“Good news?” I ask hopefully. “You got him to sign the divorce papers?”
Payne’s grin is immediate and butterfly inducing. “I did.”
“Wow. It’s over. You … you never have to see him again. Shit. How do you feel?”
“Fucking incredible. He still had so much hold over my life, and now it’s over. Which means … now I can move on properly.” Payne’s low voice dips. “You’ve done something I never would have thought possible. When I left my old life behind, I’d been convinced that was it for me. All I wanted was to become a bitter, grumpy asshole who only ever wanted to rely on cheap hookups. And yet … here we are.”
“Cheaply hooking up?”
He presses a kiss to my forehead. “I trust you. More than anyone I’ve met. And my self-preservation is trying to warn me against it, but I can’t stop myself. You’re fun and quirky. You’re gorgeous and have a big heart. And I know I’m not in a position to offer you much more than, well, me, I guess, but if you still want me, baggage and all, then I’d like to see where this goes.”
“You are one stupid guy if you think that isn’t all I’ve ever wanted,” I say, cupping his face. My heart is in my throat. “But if this is too soon for you … if you think you need time to see what else is out there …” I wish I could force myself to shut up and take those words back, but even though it would kill me if he walks away now, it’d kill me more if he does it in a year or two because we happened too fast.
Payne kisses me again. “No. I don’t need to see what’s out there, when everything I want is right here. I was worried that maybe you were a rebound, and I didn’t want that for you, but after seeing Kyle, I’ve figured it out.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re the one who was always meant for me. And I’m sorry it took me so long to figure that out.”
I can’t hold back. Our mouths collide, and I moan at the contact and the way I’m able to actually do this. For real. Maybe forever.
“You’re mine?” I murmur against his lips.
Payne nods. “Just … promise you won’t hurt me.”
“I couldn’t. Ever. Not even if I tried.” I bury my fingers in his hair. “You’re perfect. I’ll remind you of that every day.”
Payne’s mouth finds mine again, and we sit there kissing until my cock hardens and needs to be touched. I squirm and start to whine.
“I need you.”
Payne wraps his arms around me and stands. “Oompf. You are not a light guy.”
“Maybe you’re just getting weak in your old age?”
“We’ll see how weak I am when I’m fucking you into the mattress.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
He chuckles because we both know I’m full of bullshit.
As he strips me down, kissing every bit of exposed skin he can, I lean into the touch. Knowing Payne is the one touching me wakens every nerve in my body. It doesn’t only feel incredible physically, but emotionally, I’m in heaven.
He lays me back, grabs some lube, then draws my cock into his mouth as he works me open. My fingers find their way into his hair, loving the things he’s doing with his tongue. The tightness, the heat, it’s where I want to be forever.
He pulls off too soon, but then he’s positioning his cock at my hole and gently pushing forward. My body is drawn tight with lust, but I relax and let him in, and when he bottoms out, I change my mind. This is where I want to be forever.
“There’s nothing like being inside you.” His lips brush my temple.
He fucks me with steady, measured thrusts that gradually get harder and faster. I press back into him, heels digging into his ass, and with the angle he’s nailing me at, the pressure he’s putting on my prostate is insane. I’m oversensitive, right on the edge.
I cling to his shoulders, bringing his sweaty forehead flush with mine, before I reach down and wrap my hand around my leaking cock.
“Come, Payne,” I beg. “I want you to fill me up. Own me. Make me yours.”
“Oh, fuck yes.” He slams home, and feeling his cock twitch, knowing he’s unloading deep in my ass, is what sets me off too. My orgasm slams into me, and I stroke myself through it, cum landing on my chest and stomach as I tug him down to kiss me.
We stay like that for as long as possible—happy, trading lazy kisses—until Payne’s cock softens and slips out of my ass.
I wriggle under him. “Okay, let me up. I need to shower.”
“Urg, fine.” He presses another kiss to my mouth, then rolls off me.
I jump up and head for my door when Payne’s voice stops me midstep.
“Stay right there.”
I glance back over my shoulder. “What is it?”
“Just … one moment.”
I wait, trying not to squirm as cum slides out of my ass and runs down my legs.
“There it is …” Payne’s gaze is trained on my ass, and seeing the twisted smile that crosses his face makes my dick desperately want to regroup.
“There … what is?” I sound breathless as hell.
“I fucking love seeing my cum running out of your hole.”
I shiver. “Yeah?”
“It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I reach down and run my fingers through the mess, then slide them up into my ass crack.
Payne growls and climbs out of bed. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
He pulls me back against his chest and ducks his head. “I forgot to give you this.” Then he sucks a mark into my neck.
I tremble. “Join me in the shower?”
“Try and stop me.”
He follows me, and even though I’m well and truly fucked out, we’re all roaming hands and soft kisses while we wash.
It’s not until we’re back in bed, falling asleep, that I remember one very important thing.
“Ah, so, also. There’s something you should probably know.”
He hums sleepily to show he’s listening.
“I was sad today and went to Marty, and now he knows about us. Good night.”
“Beau.”
I pretend to be asleep, and Payne lets out a long sigh. “Well, better you than me, I suppose. Just tell me, how much does he want to kick my ass?”
“Oh, yeah. You should probably steer clear for a while.”
“Motherfucker.”
I muffle a chuckle with my pillow, happy to let him think that until morning.
