Me: Date ideas?
Griffin: Getting back on the horse? Good for you.
Art: Want-to-date-you date, or get-in-your-pants date? Important distinction.
Orson: If Payne only wanted to hook up, I’m sure he wouldn’t have needed us for that.
Art: Good point. In that case, I’m of no use here.
Orson: Who are you romancing?
Me: Beau. But it’s less romancing, and more helping him with a practice date before his one this weekend.
Art: And suddenly I’m interested again.
Orson: This sounds dangerous.
Griffin: And by “dangerous” Orson means Beau is going to be snapped up if you’re not careful.
Me: There’s no snapping, no danger, I just need a low-key date idea.
Art: Low-key? No. What you need is to give him the most mind-blowing date so that whatever this other guy is planning is an utter disappointment by comparison.
Me: And again, it’s not real. He’s nervous, I’m trying to help.
Griffin: “Help” 😉
Art: With his dick?
Me: You all suck.
Orson: What did I do? I think you’re being very sweet.
Me: I’m not trying to be sweet, I’m trying to be a good friend.
Griffin: “Friend” 😉
Orson: Of course we believe you.
Art: Nothing friendlier than a suck and fuck.
