Ronan: Emergency.
Ronan: I said, emergency, fuckers.
Cole: Now what? You put juice in your kid’s milk again?
Xander: Or you messed up Teal’s workspace and she’s coming after your arse with an axe?
Aiden: Remi needs to get older so he can film that shit and send it over.
Ronan: Premièrement, my Remi would never betray me. Deuxièmenent, fuck you all. Finalement, it’s none of your previous nonsense. I don’t know what to get Teal for our anniversary. I took her everywhere and she doesn’t like material shit. Give me inspiration.
Xander: Last anniversary, I bought Green a piece of land on which she can build a new children’s centre. Best decision ever. And best sex ever that night.
Ronan: Teal has no use for a piece of land. Dammit.
Aiden: Buy her jewellery. Something she can have on all the time.
Ronan: She doesn’t like jewellery. How about you, Cole? What did you get Silver on your last anniversary?
Cole: Pretty sure a baby.
Xander: *laughing out loud emoji*
Aiden: Are you knocking her up for sport, Nash?
Cole: You of all people should shut the fuck up, King.
Aiden: She was my fiancée first.
Cole: Just like Ron was Elsa’s fiancé first and Xan was her boyfriend.
Xander: #Burn.
Ronan: Hey, fuckers. Me. Pay attention to me. I’m the one who called this up. Where’s Levi anyway?
Levi: Over here. Don’t care.
Xander: Have you thought about asking Knox? He should know what his sister would want.
Ronan: Jackpot! You’re promoted to being my best friend, Xan. I’ll hang the award in your office tomorrow.
Xander: No thanks.
One day later…
Cole: How did it go, Ron?
Xander: He’s been MIA for an entire day. Do you think he’s dead? Should we file a missing person report?
Aiden: Damn. There should have been someone who filmed the whole murder scene.
Ronan: I’m here. I’m not dead, but you all will be next time I see you. And no, there was no murder scene.
Xander: So? What happened? Since when do you like suspense?
Ronan: I can’t hear you over the halo clouding my head. Piss off.
Cole: I guess that means it went well?
Ronan: Well? Try fantastic. Try…adventurous.
Aiden: A threesome?
Ronan: Fuck you, King. I wouldn’t share my Teal, even if I was offered the world.
Cole: La Débauche?
Ronan: Ding, ding, ding. One word, fuckers. You need lightening years to reach my level.
Ronan: Time for round two.
Aiden: How do you know if your wife is cheating on you?
Cole: Easy. You don’t know.
Xander: Elsa is cheating on you?
Ronan: Hold my fucking beer. This shit is interesting. Is it me? Did she say my name while asleep? I knew she couldn’t have possibly gotten over me.
Xander: And me. I know I should be sorry, but I’m kind of not.
Aiden: Shut the fuck up, both of you.
Cole: What happened?
Aiden: She’s spending more time with him than with me.
Xander: That’s bad.
Aiden: And she ignores me when he’s around.
Ronan: May he rest in peace. That is, if you didn’t kill him already.
Aiden: That’s the thing. I can’t kill him.
Xander: Why not? I’d do it in a heartbeat if anyone took up Kim’s time.
Ronan: Who is it? We’ll do it for you. Lars learnt how to hide bodies.
Cole: It’s Eli.
Xander: WHAT? You’re jealous of your own fucking son, King?
Aiden: He takes her time and he’s being a little shit about it, making a face at me behind her back.
Cole: I hate him a little less now.
Aiden: Why the hell do you hate him? What’s wrong with my son?
Cole: The fact that he’s your son. And that he keeps roaming around my Ava like a shadow. I mean it, I’m breaking his legs before he comes near her.
Ronan: I like him, though. If I had a daughter, I’d definitely give her to him. Speaking of which, Xan, you still didn’t change your mind about Cecily for Remi?
Xander: Fuck you, Ron. My Cecily won’t be anyone’s but ours.
Ronan: Your loss, mon ami. There’s Glyn and Ava and they’ll fight over my Rem.
Cole: Leave my daughter out of this or you’ll regret it, Ron.
Levi: Submit a proposition with favourable conditions and I might consider giving Glyn away.
Ronan: Now we’re talking. Let me tell Remi the news. He should be okay with it since I taught him to keep his options open.
Ronan: Who the fuck stole my stash of weed?
Xander: You had a stash of weed and didn’t tell us?
Levi: Why would you think it’s one of us?
Ronan: Because it was there last night when we had Dad Day with the kids while the women went shopping. And by the way, I hate Dad Day. I don’t like Teal alone out there.
Cole: She wasn’t alone, technically.
Aiden: Says the one who was obsessively checking on his wife.
Xander: Says the one who actually took his son and went after his wife.
Levi: Says the one who suggested we all do the same.
Ronan: Bottom line, Dad Day sucks. That’s why I needed the weed. We should do something to stop them from going out alone.
Xander: Nah. Green says they need their alone time away from us and the kids.
Ronan: Away from us?
Levi: Us? As in, ALL OF US?
Xander: I know, right? I didn’t think Kimmy would ever want time away from me.
Aiden: You’re the one everyone needs time away from. And Astor. Nash, too. Levi, sometimes. I’m the only one Elsa doesn’t need time away from.
Cole: Is that why she hid when you went to find her?
Aiden: That’s because she was trying something on and saving it as a surprise. Speak for yourself. Silver hugged Ava and not you.
Cole: It’s the hormones, idiot. She tries to control them in public.
Aiden: Yeah, right.
Xander: *laughing out loud emoji*
Levi: *laughing out loud emoji*
Ronan: *laughing out loud emoji* Now, back to my weed. Who touched it?
Xander: Where did you hide it?
Ronan: Where do you think? Underneath a flower pot. I got the good stuff and hid it from Teal because she doesn’t like its smell in the house. I spent a lot on this stash and got it from overseas. It’s my weekly break.
Cole: What a shame for it to go down the drain.
Ronan: You fucking…
Xander: Uh-oh.
Cole: Remember when you burnt the book that I spent so much time and effort to get from overseas? Well, payback’s a bitch.
Ronan: Connard!
Aiden: As I always say and no one believes me, Cole is a petty little bitch.
