THERE WERE forty-nine hours to go until Jax got back. There was a certain level of patheticness to my hourly countdown, but splitting it up into days didn’t feel like enough. Unfortunately, it had the effect of making each hour feel like an eternity. Hell, I’d spent a significant amount of time staring at my watch instead of my textbook. I’d read the same paragraph more than a dozen times, but I couldn’t concentrate after the text Jax sent.
King: I miss you.
The simplest message had the air pushed out of my chest as my ribs caved in on my lungs. My eyes burned as I read the three words repeatedly. It was stupid, childish, and ridiculous to miss someone this much after just a few days. But that was how I was made. Deep down, in a place I refused to look, there was a blackness that festered. It liked to whisper in my ear that everyone would leave me, that I wasn’t good enough for long-standing love. Hell, I’d felt alone since my mother passed, no matter that she’d had no choice in it. To my younger self, I still felt abandoned.
I’d been fighting against that voice for the last few days, knowing I had absolutely no right to it. Not only was it foolish, but I’d literally been the one to make sure this didn’t get any deeper. I continuously reminded myself that I knew exactly how this ended, but in quiet moments, that ugly feeling still crept up, and like Jax could read my mind from hours away, he’d sent that text, reminding me he was still here. That it was all in my head. He was all mine, at least for now. I’d deal with the rest later.
I’d buried myself in the library to occupy my mind. It was a pointless attempt to make time go by faster. Reading had always been a part of me. Textbooks weren’t nearly as fun, but with Jax commanding I didn’t touch myself, there was no way I could read a smutty book while he was away. Not when he FaceTimed me every night, and just his gravelly voice had me wanting to beg for release. By the way he smirked at me, he knew exactly what he was doing.
Shit, I needed him to get back here, if only to get laid. I closed the book, eyes too crossed to read it anyway, and twisted my hair into a bun, securing it with my pen. I needed something a little less dry, or I’d pass out on my table.
I moved through the stacks and skimmed my fingers over the countless spines. There was a new vibe in here, different from the typical hum of studying students. The lights weren’t as bright here, the tall towers casting shadows where I stood. The library had been quiet all week; almost everyone had gone home for the week.
I pulled a book from the shelf, flipping through the boring pages, when my mind went to when Jax and I had been here. How even then, I felt a pull to him, even if I hadn’t recognized it.
My thoughts were so consuming I swore I could smell the woodsy scent of him surrounding me. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and startled when Jax’s low voice breathed near my ear.
“You didn’t answer me, Trouble.”
A shudder shot down my spine, and I flipped around, meeting piercing gray eyes. “What are you doing here?”
He crowded me, backing me up until the shelves dug into my spine, and the front of our bodies lined up perfectly. He rubbed his thumb over my lip, freeing it from my teeth before kissing me stupid.
We didn’t pull away until my lungs burned with the need for breath.
He kissed along my jaw, nipping at my earlobe. “I had to see you.”
Goose bumps covered my skin, and I sucked in a breath. “What about your mom?”
He skimmed his nose down the column of my neck, and his chest rumbled against me. “Who do you think sent me back here? She’s looking forward to meeting you at graduation.”
My heart rate kicked up as his words took over my brain and panic set in. He wanted me to meet his mom?
He released the pen from my hair and buried his fingers in my hair, tugging my head back. He dropped his forehead to mine. “Get out of your head, Trouble. We’re here now, and that’s what matters.”
A million reasons that was a bad idea came in and out of my brain, but I couldn’t voice a single one. I didn’t want to.
He kissed the corner of my mouth, then the other. “You promised me now, and I plan on using every second of it.”
His words flooded me with a need that I couldn’t control. I was done wasting time on doubts. This was our time. I dug my fingers into his hair like I knew he liked, drawing a deep growl from him, and pulled him down into a kiss. One that I filled with every ounce of longing I’d buried inside me. Everything I kept locked away.
He pulled back, and his eyes searched mine until he found what he was looking for, and then he dove back into the kiss. His touch was rougher, more desperate than anything I’d felt.
Jax groaned, raking his fingers up my thighs and under my skirt, and cupped between my thighs. He ripped my panties off, tucking them in his pocket, then slid his fingers through my slick folds, sending a shiver through me.
“Fuck. You are so fucking responsive.” He drove his fingers into my core until I was riding them, chasing my release. He bit my jaw, a low growl in his voice. “I can’t wait.”
I didn’t want him to. I worked his belt, then his pants, until I revealed his cock. It was red and angry, straining in my hand as I guided it to my entrance. Jax lifted my right leg around his waist until only the very tips of my toes reached the ground and buried himself into me.
The tendons in his neck strained against the pleasure, and he grunted with each stroke, as if it physically pained him not to go harder.
“Fuck me, Jax.”
His thrust turned feral with my permission, slamming me into the shelves, no doubt leaving marks. He worked me, and his hips pounded a hard rhythm. It was ownership at its finest, and he growled out, his orgasm filling me to the brim.
“Fuck, Sidney.” His kisses turned soft, tender. “I was supposed to wait. You didn’t finish.”
I ran my fingers through the damp hair on each side of his temples. “Don’t you dare apologize for that. I love you losing control.”
He buried his face into the crook of my neck, and I moaned when he licked the sensitive skin. “Don’t worry, Trouble. I’m not done with you yet.”
He dropped to his knees in front of me and raised my skirt.
“Fuck, you look so good filled with my cum.” He licked his mess off my inner thigh. “I can’t leave you to walk around like this, or I’ll fuck you in front of everyone.”
I moaned, my brain flooding with the collision of how dirty but how right this felt. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.”
He groaned, hungrily cleaning me with his tongue. “You taste so fucking good filled with my cum.”
I whimpered as lust seared through me, and the muscles in my pussy clenched, needing to be filled. He murmured his approval, sliding his fingers inside of me, and praised me over and over again. “That’s it, baby. Your pussy is so perfect. It takes me so fucking well. You are so fucking beautiful when you come.”
His words pushed me off the edge, and I fell into my orgasm as it crashed around me with such force my knees gave out. He caught me and pulled his fingers from my pussy and sucked them clean in front of me. “So fucking sweet, Trouble.”
My mind was too fuzzy to respond. Instead, I laid my head on his shoulder, matching his breaths as I came down from the best orgasm of my life.
Jax stroked my hair and soothed a hand down my back until I could stand on my own.
His eyes met mine. “Your place or mine?”
“Anthony and Mia don’t get back until Sunday.”
“Fucking perfect.” He led me from the stacks and gathered all my things. It felt like everyone’s eyes were on me, and for once, I didn’t care.
He came up behind me and pressed his rock-hard cock into my ass. “Let’s go before I fuck you on this table.”
It was more of a promise than a statement. He was dead serious.
The next two days were filled with quiet moments and cuddles on the couch. He didn’t leave my side the entire time, and I soaked up all of his attention.
I leaned my head back on the sofa, humming in the back of my throat as he worked the tendons in my foot with his strong hands. There were empty takeout containers on the coffee table, and the TV was playing something I couldn’t be bothered to watch. We’d been playing house, and this was our last night together. I swallowed hard, pushing down the haunted feeling of what was coming.
Jax set my foot down and crawled over me, always attuned to my emotions. He placed gentle kisses along my face, finally landing on my mouth. “When do your roommates get back?”
“Early tomorrow.”
He groaned and lifted me from the couch, carrying me to my room. “Then let’s not waste tonight.”
