TWO AND A HALF MONTHS LATER
“COMING! One sec, I’ll be right there.” My foot caught on the corner of one of the boxes I still hadn’t unpacked as I rushed to answer the door. I let out a high-pitched squeak, jumping on one foot as the sting radiated through my toe. Shit, shit, shit.
There was another knock, and I steadied myself before closing the last few feet. I swung it open, expecting to see the Chinese restaurant delivery guy, and the air was sucked from my chest. The face that had been haunting me every time I closed my eyes stared back at me. My trembling fingers reached up to his chest before I could even think about it while his greedy eyes roamed all over me, taking in every detail.
The last time I’d seen him was at his press conference. “You punched my dad.”
“Fucking right, I did. Asshole deserved it.” I couldn’t argue with that. I’d enjoyed seeing Jax hit him more than I should have. Jax grabbed my hand, entwining our fingers, but didn’t step into my place. “I know what you said, and I know you don’t think I should be here, but I couldn’t live with myself unless I got this off of my chest.” I watched as his hand raked through his hair and tugged until it stood on end.
“When I met your dad, Sid…” he said, voice stern. “I finally understand, but you’re wrong about me. I get you have a history with an asshole hockey player who constantly bailed on you. I get that living with a narcissist would be fucking horrible.” Stepping into me, he cupped the side of my neck and stroked his thumb up my jaw, gently coaxing my head back until my gaze met his. “You should know I’m not that guy. I get it’s a bone-deep worry for you, but I’m not him.”
Warmth built in my chest, radiating through me until my entire body began to hum with a soft buzz, overwhelmed with what he was saying. Jax accepted my silence as permission to keep going. “I get it now. You have it in your head that you’re not my priority. You’re worried that I’ll abandon you like he did. But I’m not worried about that at all because I know damn well that’s never going to happen. My career will never be more important than you. Hockey is a part of me, but playing for Boston isn’t. It’s not asking too much of me to put you first, and I’m all in. I’m all in, Sid.”
He took a shuddering breath, not moving his gaze from mine. “It took me a while to figure it out, but there’s something you need to hear.” He lowered his head closer. “You are worth it.” My breath caught, but he didn’t stop. “I was in such a dark place when I met you. I was constantly sinking under the weight of trying to live up to what Marcus would’ve achieved. You convinced me I was enough. You took that weight from me. You saw me when no one else did. I could never put you second.”
I sucked in a breath, making a high-pitched sound, part sob, part squeal, and his thumb stroked my cheek again, a smile tipping up his lips. “I’m moving to Ottawa.”
“What?” An oily, dirty feeling coated my stomach, washing away my giddiness. I didn’t want him to give up his dream for me. I couldn’t let him. “But my dad said he’d take you back.”
“I turned him down.”
“You can’t.”
“I did.” A grin pulled at the corner of his mouth, growing until his dimple appeared. “I’m starting with the Ottawa Senators next week.”
His words had me reeling. The last I’d seen him, he’d been punching my dad, and if I knew anything about professional sports, punching your coach wouldn’t land you a good trade.
“How,” I breathed, worried about his answer, but the smile never left his eyes, and some of my concern washed away.
“Don’t tell me you forgot I’m Jaxton Ryder. Best player in our division. Don’t tell me you doubted my ability to land a new team.”
I rolled my eyes and huffed out a breath, equally exasperated and thrilled to have his teasing tone back in my life. “Serious, Jax. You should’ve been blacklisted.”
His clear gray eyes pierced mine, and his smirk turned playful. “Turns out the Senators’ manager has a daughter our age. He heard my interview and agreed your dad got what he deserved. Fuck, I wouldn’t be surprised if he went extra hard on him this year.”
His words whirled in my head, slowly clicking into place. “You did it for me?”
“Sid, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” His hands tightened, and he gave me a little shake, his excitement visible in the way his face lit up. “When we have kids, you better fucking believe they will be my top priority. We both have years left to build our careers. But Sidney, when you’re ready to start a family, I’ll be right there with you. It’s not a sacrifice to love you. It’s a fucking privilege.”
My lungs filled with a shocked breath. When we have kids.
He gave me a sheepish smile, realizing what he’d just said. “That’s… if you want kids.” He stroked his thumb over my cheek in a soothing motion, catching the tears I didn’t know were falling.
It took a second to process everything he’d just said. He wasn’t leaving me. He was prioritizing me. He was never going to be like my dad. He was moving to Ottawa.
“You want to move here with me?” My voice was whisper-quiet, and his arms wrapped around my waist.
“Hell yes, I do. I don’t know how you ever doubted that,” he answered in a clear voice.
“You don’t care that you won’t be playing for Boston?”
He barked out a laugh. “Not for a fucking second.” His hand cupped the back of my neck, tilting my head up. “Will you give us a real chance, Sid? I know you’re afraid I’ll end up like your dad, but I can promise you I will spend every day proving that wrong. Before you know it, it’ll be a distant worry you won’t think about, but you have to let me prove it. I won’t leave you. I will always put you first. Put our life together first.”
“Our life.” I mouthed the words.
“I meant all of it when I told you I love you, but I didn’t realize that you might not know what love really means. What it can be. It’s not just a feeling. It’s the importance we put on that person. Love is caring about what the other person needs, and I fucking do. You matter to me.”
A hiccup escaped as I cried, and his head lowered, leaning his forehead on mine. “You’re worth it. You’re worth more. We won’t regret this.” I watched as his chest expanded with a big breath of air, and he hesitated before asking, “Am I worth it, Sid?”
Jax’s face was shuttered, trying not to influence my decision. His worry shifted to hope when my arms circled around him.
“You are,” I promised.
A smile stretched across his face, and he picked me up, swinging us in a circle. An overwhelming feeling of home settled over me. This was where I belonged. I couldn’t believe I thought I could live without him. When he came to a stop and slid me to the ground, I grabbed his cheeks in my hands and tugged him down until his eyes were level with mine. They burned with tears, but I smiled so wide it hurt my cheeks. “I love you, Jaxton Ryder.”
His mouth crashed over mine as his arms wrapped tight around me. “God, I’ve thought of hearing that again a million times, but nothing’s as sweet as you saying it.” His fingers smoothed the hair from my face. “Say it again.”
“I love you.”
JAX
I ran my fingers through Sid’s hair, listening to her deep breaths where she was laid out across me. We hadn’t left her apartment all weekend, spending every second catching up on the last few months. The time apart had left us both insatiable; I doubted there was an inch of this apartment that I hadn’t had her pinned against. Her arms tightened around me, and she mumbled something into my chest.
She better hold on because I was never letting go.
