FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, I stood at the back door with my bags packed. Adelaide answered my knock.
“Hi,” she said, opening the door. Her eyes widened as she looked at my outfit—a cropped halter top and maxi skirt with a thigh-high split in a tropical print, which I wore with sandals that laced up my calves. “Wow, you look fancy.”
“Thanks.” Leaving my suitcase outside, I stepped into their kitchen. “The clothes I packed were for a Hawaiian vacation,” I explained, although truth be told, there were more casual outfits in my suitcase. I’d worn this for Austin’s benefit.
What I’d said before was true—I didn’t blame him for not hiring me. I thought he should have given me the opportunity to prove myself, but I understood that his kids were his world, and he wasn’t the kind of guy to take chances with them. Plus, he liked things to go according to his plans. Did I really need to spend my summer being bossed around by a man who thought he could do everything so much better than me? Hadn’t I just gotten out of that kind of situation?
Still, I’d lain awake for hours last night thinking about that kiss. I couldn’t even remember the last time someone had kissed me that way, like he couldn’t hold back. Like he was suffocating, and I was oxygen. I’d felt that kiss from my head to my toes.
I felt it now when he walked into the kitchen and stopped in his tracks at the sight of me.
Make grumpy single dad’s brown eyes pop? Check, I thought with satisfaction. Put that on my chore chart, you big hot lug.
He looked delicious again this morning in jeans and a fitted navy T-shirt. I remembered my hands on his back muscles last night and felt a little tingle between my legs.
His eyes traveled down my body and back up again. “You’ve been to Moe’s, right? It’s not really a dressy place.”
I shrugged. “I know.”
“But doesn’t she look pretty, Dad?” Adelaide pressed.
“Did you mark your chore chart, June bug?” he asked her, going over to the fridge to look at it.
Behind her dad’s back, Adelaide rolled her eyes. “Yes. For making my bed and watering the living room plants.”
“Good job. Where’s your brother?”
“Still getting dressed.”
“Can you go tell him to hurry up, please?”
Adelaide sighed and left the room.
“We can head to Western Union right after breakfast,” he said, placing his coffee mug in the dishwasher.
“That sounds great, thanks. I’m all packed up.” I glanced around the kitchen—not a dirty dish left anywhere. Not a crumb on the floor. Not a stray set of keys or stack of junk mail or crumpled dish towel on the gleaming counters. Again I thought maybe I’d dodged a bullet being rejected for the job. I wasn’t a slob, but I wasn’t obsessive about neatness either.
He turned around and leaned back against the sink, folding his arms over his chest. “You’re a good teacher.”
“I’m sorry?”
“I heard you giving the kids the yoga lesson out there. You’re a good teacher. Very patient.”
“Oh!” I laughed and played with the ends of my hair. “Thanks. I taught dance for years. And I like kids. Yours are great—very polite and funny. I can tell they’re smart too.”
“Thanks.” He glanced the way Adelaide had just gone. “They’re good kids.”
I hesitated, but decided to ask. “Owen mentioned their mom lives in California.”
“Yeah. She—we—” Austin exhaled, shaking his head. “It’s not a typical situation. They were sort of . . . unplanned.”
“A surprise gift?”
He nodded. “Their mom and I met while I was out in California on vacation. I was shocked when she called and told me she was pregnant.”
“She didn’t want kids?”
“No. I didn’t, either, not at that point. I was just twenty-five. After spending a lot of my childhood helping to raise my siblings and going to work for my dad right after graduation, I was enjoying my independence. In fact, I almost—” He shook his head. “Never mind. Anyway, that week in California, I clearly enjoyed myself a little too irresponsibly.”
“But you chose to raise them on your own.” My heart beat a little faster, learning this about him. It made him even sexier. “That’s responsible. That’s amazing, in fact. A lot of guys would have run the other way.”
“Sometimes, I have no idea what I’m doing.”
It surprised me—the admission of insecurity. He seemed so sure of himself. “It looks like you’re doing a great job, Austin.”
“I’ve had a lot of help,” he said. “From my dad and sister especially. We lived with them up until two years ago. I don’t think I’d have survived that first year without them.”
“Mabel said you work for your dad’s company?”
“Yes. And he was so understanding about my schedule when they were small—he always said being a dad came first, letting me arrive late and leave early, paying me more than he was taking.” He shook his head. “He saved me.”
My admiration for—and envy of—his tight-knit family grew. “That’s what family is for, right? And accepting help from others when you need it is okay. The problem is when accepting help turns into letting someone else call all the shots in your life.” I took a breath. “I’m never doing that again.”
A few seconds ticked by. “Veronica, it’s none of my business, but . . .”
“You can ask.”
“It’s just that you seem very independent too. How did he gain that kind of control over you?”
“I’ve asked myself the same thing many times,” I said with a sigh. “And the truth is, it was little by little. Almost like I didn’t notice it was happening until it was too late. Neil had this way of making it all seem like ‘taking care of me.’” I made air quotes with my fingers. “And I’d promised my mother I’d try to let him.”
“Your mom liked him?”
I shrugged. “She didn’t know him, not the way I did. Honestly, I didn’t know the real him back then either. We dated long-distance—I was in New York, and he was in Chicago. But he was in Manhattan a lot for business. And in all his big talk and promises, she saw a life for me that looked like a fairy tale.”
“And you wanted that life?”
“I thought I did,” I said honestly. “But—”
“Okay, we’re ready!” Adelaide burst into the kitchen, Owen right behind her. “Can we go now?”
“Yes.” Austin grabbed his keys from a hook next to the back door. “I’ll load your bags in the car, Veronica.”
“Thanks,” I said, watching him leave. A hollow pit had formed in my stomach, and I realized it was because I hadn’t gotten to finish what I was saying—that while I thought I’d wanted that life, it was no fairy tale. It hadn’t dulled the pain of missing my mom, of not having her unconditional love in my life, the only one I’d ever known.
My father had abandoned me before I was born. My grandparents didn’t want me. And no man I’d ever dated had inspired the kind of trust necessary for a healthy relationship. When I lost my mom, I’d been completely untethered, adrift in cold, lonely waters. Neil had at least been a buoy in the storm. But he hadn’t loved me. His family hadn’t accepted me. I hadn’t belonged.
Then again, I thought as I followed the kids out the door, pulling it shut behind me, maybe it was better I hadn’t spilled my guts like that.
Austin didn’t like a mess.
