My classes the next day were sleepy and quiet. No doubt the kids were tired or hungover after the dance. It took a special kind of mean to hold an event on a weeknight with an early start the next day. Lillian and Cayden were both absent, which made my bullshit meter hum, but I just hoped she was okay.
Cayden had Nikolai potential, from what I’d seen of him, and Lily was too young to deal with that. Normal people wouldn’t be able to deal with that.
I wasn’t remotely normal.
I’d slept better than I had in years. Washing the smell of Nikolai off in the shower this morning, I allowed my mind to drift over my encounters with him since he’d found me. Maybe I was dangerously sex-starved, like Chiara constantly accused me of, but they were the hottest things that had ever happened to me.
I wanted more to happen. I wanted more of him. I wanted it all.
Even more than the physical relief of being fucked by a man who took no prisoners and whose body fit mine like it was designed for it, was how light I felt this morning.
I’d been carrying so much guilt. Endless pounds of it were a constant weight on my shoulders. Last night I’d come close to telling Nikolai everything and letting the chips fall where they may. Maybe he didn’t know about Leo yet, but taking his punishment for lying about being dead made me feel better. All my childhood years of going to church and learning about the healing power of doing penance for my sins must have stuck somewhere inside. The day flew by, and I checked my phone more often than I could admit.
When the last classes ended, I hurried to get ready to leave. I was going to the hospital, and I couldn’t wait to see Leo. Yesterday, not seeing his little face all day had been torture.
I made it to the door of the classroom before a knock sounded.
Fighting irritation, I plastered on a school-friendly smile and opened the door.
It fell abruptly as I took in who was standing there.
Edward Sloane, and he’d brought flowers.
“Sophie, I came to apologize.”
He pressed the bouquet into my hands and walked around me, simply letting himself into my classroom, forcing me to stay.
“It’s not necessary. I’m busy, I have to run.”
“It is necessary. I was rude the other day, forcing you into lunch and imposing my schedule on you. I apologize.”
I watched him warily, waiting for the catch.
“I’d like you to finish the portrait. No one can do it as well as you can.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“I’ll double your pay, how’s that?”
Narrowing my eyes at him, I leaned against the doorframe. “Why would you do that? You were already paying me too much.”
“I disagree. When I looked at other artists in the area who could complete the piece, it was impossible to find someone. You undervalue your talent. Please. This painting is important to me. Name your price.”
I studied him. I needed the money, and he seemed genuine enough. “Fine. I’m almost done anyway. I’ll work on it tonight. Did you bring it?”
“I forgot. I’ve been in back-to-back meetings all day. I’ll have it dropped off.”
“Fine.” I checked my watch and straightened up. “Now, I really have to go.”
“On your way to the hospital?”
“Yes, Leo’s been admitted.”
“I hope it all works out well for him. He deserves it.” Edward left the room without having to be asked.
“Thank you.”
I locked my classroom behind him, gave him a swift smile, and left.
St. Mary’s was busy when I arrived, and I had to circle the parking lot for a good ten minutes before I found a space. Once I snagged one, I hurried inside.
“Mom!”
Leo jumped up when I reached the children’s ward and wrapped his little arms around me as far as they would go, which wasn’t that far. I pressed my face into the top of his silky head and breathed in. Ah, there it was. The good stuff.
“How are you doing in here?”
“Good! Yesterday zio and zia brought me a gamepad!”
My eyes narrowed in on the shiny new tech on the bed. “Did they really?”
Leo nodded enthusiastically. “Can I keep it?”
I smoothed his hair back. “Sure you can, just don’t play it all the time, okay? How are you feeling?”
“Fine, normal.” He climbed back into bed and peered at the bag in my hand. “What did you bring me to eat?”
“Spaghetti and meatballs.”
He pumped the air. “Yes! Can we share it with Charlie?”
Leo jerked his head over to the little boy in the bed next to him. He had his head shaved and the shadowed eyes of a cancer patient.
“Sure we can, if his nurse says it’s okay and he likes it.”
“He’ll love it, you’re the best cook in the world,” Leo said with perfect sincerity.
I settled myself in the chair next to him. I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. I should be more anxious about Nikolai showing up and finding out the truth, but I just couldn’t find it in me. Maybe I was too burned out on stress. I wasn’t capable of fear in the way other people would be anymore.
Or, maybe, despite everything, you still trust him.
If that was true, I didn’t know what it said about me.
I stayed as long as I could at the hospital and only left when Leo was ready to sleep and the nurses were giving me looks. I drove home, my mind on the donor issue. The doctor had updated me that the tests were looking good so far but the most important results would come in a few days.
I pulled up at my house and stopped the car. It was dark already, but when I opened the door, I could hear the sounds of the ocean. Inside, I flipped on the lights and got rid of my coat and boots. I left my handbag on the counter and grabbed my phone. I checked the doors before heading upstairs. The back porch door gave me pause. Had it really only been a few nights ago when I’d run through there and locked it, expecting Nikolai to be advancing on me like a bloodthirsty demon from Hell? It had been. Renato’s words about him had done a number on me. He was right, though. I should be careful. Nikolai had told me time and again that he wasn’t the man I’d known. Considering how dangerous the man I’d known had been, it was a sobering thought.
I headed upstairs. While drifting down the hall, Leo’s door was ajar. I usually closed all the doors in the house, since the slightest draft seemed to make everything slam.
I went to close it and realized that the light was on inside.
I pushed it open slowly, my heart all but jumping to my mouth.
The bedside light was on, casting shadows around the walls.
Nikolai said in the rocking chair beside the bed, one of Leo’s stuffies in his hands. This one was a wolf.
He pinned me with his silver eyes as I stepped into the room.
“Have something to tell me, prom queen?”
