Dr. Evans was a calm, capable-looking woman. Whatever she might have thought about having a six-foot-three man covered in tattoos enter her office and demand to be tested for kidney donation, she kept to herself. Of course, the fact that Sofia had told everyone she was a widow didn’t help the matter. The doctor rolled with it like a pro and went through the details with me. I was going to stay and be tested as soon as possible, since Leo was all good to go.
An urgent sense of anxiety went through me that I’d never felt before. What if my kidney wasn’t a match? What if I couldn’t give my son what he needed? I had a son. A son. It still hadn’t sunk in, but I had a feeling it was about to, as Sofia was leading me to the children’s ward where Leo was.
The brightly colored curtains in the windows and cartoon-character covers were at odds with everything I’d known in my childhood.
I stopped outside the door, my feet frozen to the spot.
That horrible, swirling chaos was roaring in my chest. I couldn’t handle normal human emotions anymore, clearly. Sofia watched me, seeing right into my ugly soul, just like always.
“How should I introduce you?” Her soft voice wound around my heart.
“However you want. You know him, I don’t.”
“Okay. Let’s go in then.”
She tugged at my hand, always so brave. She had always been brave. She’d been defiant in the face of the threat I’d first posed to her, as a young woman on the cusp of life. She’d lived with her terrible father and slimy cousin without complaint. She’d killed her cousin herself when he’d tried to hurt her. She’d raised a kid alone to protect him. She was brave in a way few could be.
She walked into the room first. It smelled like crayons and chicken nuggets. She walked to the end cubicle. She couldn’t afford a private room for our son. It hit me deep inside. Because of Antonio De Sanctis, Leo had suffered more than he had to. If I’d known everything, Kirill would have provided the best care in the world for him. Instead, Sofia had toiled away to do what she could. One day soon, Antonio would pay for every day she’d struggled without me. He’d answer for every tear my family had shed.
“Leo? I’ve got a visitor for you,” Sofia was saying before me.
She pulled back a curtain. His bed was near the window, and a view of the woods, and beyond, the sea, filled my vision. A tiny figure sat on the bed. He wore dinosaur pajamas, navy and red. His gray eyes locked on to me with interest.
“A visitor! Who is he?”
Sofia took a seat on the edge of the bed, leaving the chair beside Leo free.
“His name is Nikolai,” she said and nodded toward the seat.
I found myself sitting in it before I’d even realized I’d moved. I was having an out-of-body experience.
“Nikolai?” Leo scrunched up his little face. It was like looking at a mirror image of myself at his age. It was uncanny. “Like the name inside your ring?”
The name inside her ring? I looked to Sofia, but she avoided my eyes and simply nodded.
The boy considered her answer for a moment before twisting to me, crossing his legs on the covers and sticking out a skinny hand. “I’m Leo.”
“Hello, Leo. It’s good to meet you.” His little bones felt as fragile as a bird’s in my grip.
“Nice to meet you, too. You have an accent. Are you Russian?”
I blinked between him and Sofia. “I am. How did you know?”
“I’m learning Russian. Well, my mom tried to teach me some, but she’s bad at it. Will you teach it to me?”
“If you want.”
“Cool! Do you know Dumoulin?”
“The hockey player?”
Leo nodded enthusiastically. “He’s from Maine. He’s so amazing. After I have my operation, I’m going to try out for the school team. In Hade Harbor, there’s a really good team at the high school where my mom works. Cayden West is the best.”
“Is that right? Do you know how to skate?”
Leo’s face fell. “No, not yet. Mom thinks it’s too dangerous, and I could slip and fall, also Zio Angelo can’t stay on his feet. If you’re Russian, does that mean you know how to skate? It snows there a lot.”
I could barely keep up with the swerves in the conversation. “I know how to skate.” I tried to keep to the pertinent question. “I can teach you, if your mom doesn’t mind… after your operation.”
Leo smiled at me. That terrible confusion in my chest, like the winds of madness that had been blowing for years, suddenly died. His smile was like the dawn, just like his mother’s.
“Promise? Pinky swear?” He held his hand out, pinky up.
I fit mine around his, and he solemnly shook our joined hands.
“Pinky swear.”
“Now it has to happen. You can’t break a pinky swear. It’s for life,” he explained in a hushed, reverent tone.
A laugh bubbled up in my chest. It wasn’t mocking or sarcastic. It wasn’t jaded in anyway. It was new. I didn’t know what to make of it. The calm inside me continued. “That’s fine by me.”
I could feel Sofia’s eyes on my face.
“Leo, we’re going to go home today, but the tests you did were very important. Well done.”
“I’m not having the operation?”
“You maybe are. We don’t know yet. We have to check a couple more things.”
Leo was quiet, studying his mother. “Did the man change his mind about helping me?”
Sofia wrapped an arm around his little shoulders. “No, sweetie, but there are a lot of factors involved.”
He stared at his mother for a long time. I knew that look. I’d given my own mother that look many times. It was the look of a kid who is desperately trying to make the world a little better, for the person who loves them the most.
“Don’t worry, Leo. Your mom told me about the operation. I’m going to help, if I can, however I can.” You’re not alone anymore.
Leo turned to me. He looked serious for a moment, and then he smiled. The look just about gave my wasted black heart an attack.
“Okay, sounds good. Do you know the book about the Ugly Dinosaur?”
“Er, I don’t, but you can tell me about it, if you want.”
Leo nodded and stretched to grab a hardcover book by his bedside. “I’ll read it to you.” He leaned closer to me, looking like he was about to share a secret. “I can’t read all the words, but I can remember them.”
“Good, that’s good. Having a good memory is important,” I found myself whispering back.
Leo nodded. “My mom says that, too. She always says that memories are the only way she can see my dad.”
My eyes flew to Sofia’s. I was caught in her chocolate-brown stare. It was official. Something weird was happening inside me, and I had no frame of reference to cope with it.
“Is that right?”
Leo nodded and then opened his book. “I’m going to read now. If you have questions, wait until the end, that’s the rule.”
“Clever.”
He grinned and started to read.
“She’s nearly done. Your little man is something else. Congratulations, brother.” Bran dropped onto the chair next to me. “Let’s see the new ink.” He tutted as he inspected my hand. “I’d love to say that it’s great work, but I’d be lying.”
“They aren’t supposed to be pretty.”
“Well, they certainly aren’t. Will they be a problem for the kidney thing?”
“I hope not. As long as there is no infection, it should be okay, if I’m a match.”
I was sitting on a bed in a private room. Directly below me, Sofia was filling out the discharge papers to take Leo home. It felt like a piece of me was downstairs with them. Twice in my life I had experienced love at first sight. First when I’d walked into an underground poker hall in New York, at the tender age of nineteen, and seen Sofia De Sanctis sitting at the bar. And now, the moment I’d seen that little boy smile up at me.
I was a goner.
I’d burn the entire world down to keep them safe.
My family.
My everything.
“I read up about these things. Sometimes they don’t last forever, and you need another one, eventually.”
I leaned back and tried to arrange the IV from my hand to be more comfortable. “That’s fine. He can have the other one when he needs it, if I’m a match.”
“You know you need to keep one, unless you want to die.”
“I’m aware.”
Bran snorted and changed the subject. “People have been asking about Sloane. His secretary is looking for him and his men. What should I do?”
“Nothing. When I get out of here, I’ll speak to the Russians. They’re the backbone of the business. It won’t be too much work to take it over.”
“And this vory business. Now that you have the title, do you get paid or something?”
“No, not at all. Being vor isn’t about money.”
‘What’s it about then?”
“It’s about power. The power to keep my family safe.”
Bran stared and then chuckled, running a hand up his arm. “Man, that just gave me shivers, like when a wolf protects its cub instead of eating it. So unexpected. So, what’s the plan now?”
“Take Sofia and Leo home. Watch them. Don’t let them out of your sight, until I can get there later. Nothing matters more than making sure they’re safe. Antonio De Sanctis won’t let this lie. He’s planning his move. We’ve got to be ready for him.”
“Got it, brother. I’ve got it.”
