Monday at school felt like a dream. It was too normal after everything that had happened in the last forty-eight hours. My students didn’t get on my nerves, and the sun was shining. The sky was blue above the woods outside the back of the school.
Best of all, there was a car waiting for me by the door, in direct defiance of the strict no-parking rule. Nikolai Chernov, as always, had never met a rule he didn’t want to break.
He was leaning against the door when I left the main entrance and straightened up as I approached. He was drawing even more stares than Bran had. I could only imagine the interesting rumors that had to be flying around the student body by this point.
No one looked like Nikolai Chernov. In full daylight, I was finally about to see the changes that had happened in the seven years we’d been apart.
He was broader. His body had been lethal, even then, but seven years ago there had been a leanness to him that whispered of the remnants of youth. That was long gone. His hair was shorn close to the scalp. I’d always loved his tumbling dark waves. They softened a dangerous man. Now, there was no softness left to hold on to. His tattoos were dark against his golden skin, licking up his neck.
“Good afternoon, prom queen.”
I abandoned all hope of killing the rumors when Nikolai snagged my hip and pulled me close to him, kissing me deeply.
“That is not a workplace-approved kiss,” I reprimanded him.
He only grinned. “It’s after work. I’ve been counting the minutes. Besides, I’d say we’ve done worse on school grounds.”
“Oh my god,” I muttered, trying my best not to blush like I was a teenager myself. I felt like one. I’d never felt so light. I turned my attention to the car that sat at the curb. It was shiny and new, not to mention top of the line. “New ride?”
Nikolai nodded. “It’s for you. I already had the other one towed.”
“You did what?”
“Had it towed. Do you think I’m going to let the mother of my child, and my only son, drive around in an unsafe car? The only other option is that I simply drive you everywhere. I don’t want to put you back in a cage, Sofia. Be free, but be safe.” He tossed me the keys. “Here, you’re driving.”
We got into the new car. It was nice. Luxurious as hell. I melted into the leathery seat and pressed the ignition button. It purred smoothly beneath us.
“Do you really mean that? No security… nothing changing?”
“I can’t promise no security, but I don’t want you to live the life you hated with your father.”
“Life has been quiet without you, except for Edward Sloane, that is.”
“Hmm, you are quite the danger magnet, as always. It’ll get more dangerous, just through the fact of me being with you, but that will also make it safer. We will need to move, though.”
“Move? I like my little house in the middle of nowhere.”
“I like it, too, but we need something bigger, more rooms, and able to be properly secured.”
I drove us through downtown. The fall light was fading earlier and earlier these days, and a cold wind promised that we were on the cusp of winter. A new season, a fresh, white slate.
“More rooms?”
Nikolai smirked. He was leaning an arm along the window, and the warm sunlight cut slices over his tattooed skin. I didn’t want to stop looking at him.
“Leo needs siblings, don’t you think?”
I stopped at a light and finally got to look at him. “Are you serious? We’ve been… back together… for a week, and you’re talking kids?”
“Exactly, it’s already been a week, and you’re not pregnant yet. We aren’t trying hard enough. We have seven years to make up for, prom queen.”
“Niko,” I trailed off, unsure what I wanted to say next. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t want to have another child. I had dreamed of giving Leo a sibling, but I’d given up hope that it would happen. Now, the future felt wide open and dauntingly full of hope. It made me anxious to feel so light. Something bad was surely on its way to balance the feeling.
“Hmm?” His voice was lazy. He had settled a hand on my knee and slid it up my leg, under my skirt.
“You’re distracting me.”
“If you think this is distracting, you’ve not seen anything yet,” he murmured, his gray eyes dancing with wicked amusement.
“Stop. We’ve got to go and get Leo. He’ll be tired after his first day back at school.”
“It’s already done.”
“It is? By who?”
“Bran.”
“Oh, okay. Well, in that case, put your hand right back where it was.”
Nikolai chuckled. “Just try and stop me.”
The next day, while Leo was having his routine dialysis, I met with Dr. Evans.
“So far, not to get ahead of ourselves, but the preliminary tests look good for a match between Leo’s father and him.”
I gripped the edge of my chair so hard it creaked. “Really?”
“Really. Same blood type, tissue type. Now we have to check on Mr. Chernov’s overall health and ability to recover from an organ extraction, though something tells me he wouldn’t let an operation slow him down.”
“You’ve got that right. He’s determined, as long as he’s a match.”
Dr. Evans nodded. “If we get the green light, then I want to do it as soon as possible. Mr. Chernov has assured me that insurance isn’t an issue and he’s willing to pay out of pocket for a quick surgery date. Given Leo’s age and the severity of his condition, there’s a good chance that we could be doing this first thing in the new year, maybe even before.”
“Before?” I was dumbstruck. It was November. In a year, we could be going skating together out on the pond at the edge of town, a simple pleasure that Leo had been longing to partake in for years.
Dr. Evans nodded. “Now, the aftercare is important, as you know. Mr. Chernov mentioned getting nurses at home to help out.”
“I guess. I can probably handle it.”
“You also have a job, and Mr. Chernov himself will be incapacitated. Don’t underestimate how hard all of this is, Miss Rossi. We don’t need any heroes here. Take the help, and take care of yourself.”
That night, Chiara came over for dinner and ended up falling asleep with Leo, in his bed, while reading endless bedtime stories.
When I went downstairs, Nikolai was putting a jacket on. I still couldn’t get used to the sight of him in my little house. It was like seeing a dangerous wild animal in a cozy, domestic setting, without even a leash to keep the people in the house safe. Bran was lounging on the sofa, watching TV. With the two of them in such a small space, it felt a little much. There was a lethal quality in the air that was vaguely unsettling. I hadn’t asked Nikolai exactly why he had his friend watching over me and Leo whenever he couldn’t. I didn’t want to know right now. I wanted to keep my head firmly in the sand and ignore the world for a little more.
“Come on. We’re going out for a bit.”
He held my jacket out for me, and I slipped my arms in. We went out onto the porch, and Nikolai locked the door behind us.
“Where are we going?”
“Not far.”
He walked me to the edge of the porch and held out a hand while I stepped down the stairs, before turning us toward the garage and my little studio.
Inside, the familiar smells of my oil paints and turps met my nose. I hadn’t been in here since I was trying to finish up Edward Sloane’s portrait of his mother. That was one piece that would never need finishing.
There had to be something wrong with me, because the certainty that Nikolai had killed the local hotshot and set it up in a way that hadn’t brought the cops to our door should be frightening. It wasn’t, though. After all, I was a woman who had grown up around violence. A woman who had cut the throat of her own cousin.
Nikolai was right, in the end. We weren’t so different, deep down inside. Maybe I’d be him, if I’d lived the life he had.
“So, show me,” Nikolai called to me from farther into the studio. He was standing at my covered canvases. The ones of him.
I hurried toward him, suddenly shy to reveal the truth of my years-long obsession with this man.
“No, they’re bad. Amateur, really.”
“Doubtful. Show me, prom queen.”
I shook my head stubbornly. He moved quicker than I could properly see in the dim light. His hand snatched the cloth off the painting sitting on the easel. He stilled as he took it in.
It was the one I’d been working on for a while. A dark forest ringed a puzzle piece of night sky. Stars winked in the darkness like scattered diamonds on velvet. A dark head was tilted back, enjoying the view. Only the back of the head was visible.
Nikolai stared at it for a long time.
“It’s the story. The one you told me that day… in the basement.”
He nodded, not needing more explanation than that. Our shared past thrummed in the air between us.
“Once upon a time, because that’s how all the good stories begin, there was a boy. He was a child of the woods, and the trees were his only friend. At night, he lay in the loam and counted the stars. He was a wild thing, and sometimes, he seriously considered walking farther into the woods and never returning to the world of men. In the end, he couldn’t, though.”
“Why not?”
“Because the boy wasn’t as whole as the animals he played with in the forest. He had a cage around his heart… one without a key. He could smile, and laugh, and pretend to be a real boy, but deep inside, he wasn’t. There was a hole inside him, inside that locked-up place, where he couldn’t reach it.”
“You shouldn’t tell sad tales as bedtime stories.”
“Ah, but this story isn’t sad. One day, when the boy became a man, and his heart was blacker than the purest tar, he met a girl. One who once stared at the stars at night and dreamed of being loved, too. It didn’t matter how terribly he had lived his pathetic life. When she smiled at him, it felt like the fucking sun had finally risen for the first time in his life. He could feel the light on his face when she looked at him.”
Then Nikolai was turning to me and pulling me close. He kissed me lightly at first, smoothing my hair back.
“You destroy me, you know that? No one understands me like you. No one has ever tried to.”
“Yeah, well, ditto. You saw me, even when I was drowning. You saved me,” I whispered against his lips.
It was the quiet, intimate conversation that we should have had, all those years ago, after everything that had happened at Casa Nera. But we had been robbed of so much.
“You saved yourself, Sofia. Your life here, Leo’s happy childhood, your job, your home… you saved yourself, and our son.”
He walked me back toward the table behind me, pressing his hips against mine. He was hard; the man was utterly insatiable.
“Tell me you love me,” he commanded.
“I love you.”
“Tell me you’ll never leave me.” Another command, one that made me smile.
“I’ll never leave you.”
“Good, because I’ll never let you. Now, lift up that little skirt, bend over this table, and let me love you. You showered this morning, and I need to make you smell like me again.”
“Nikolai!”
Later, when I was spent and tingling with pleasure, we headed back to the house. His hand took mine, and we walked across the grass toward home. Nikolai stiffened when he turned toward the porch. The tender, intimate atmosphere evaporated as tension radiated from his every move. He let go of my hand and pulled a gun from his belt. Fear laced up my spine.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He held a finger to his lips, indicating for me to be quiet, and jerked his head toward the door. I hadn’t noticed the small black gap down the side.
It was ajar.
