My stomach heaved, and I wrapped my arms around myself while the taste of pennies filled my mouth. I crouched down, trying to hold it in, but lost it when my gaze landed on the puddle of blood in front of me. Bile burned my throat as I threw up everything I’d eaten today. A hand touched my shoulder, and I flinched away. Tears blurred my vision as the hand squeezed my upper arm, pulling me up from the floor.
“Why did you do this?” I choked out, not able to tear my eyes away from the table.
I was spun around until I was facing him. His pale blue eyes studied me while he touched my cheek, as if trying to comfort me. His brown hair was flopped to one side, and the other side was short, revealing tattoos under the buzz cut.
“I had to, Lina,” he said softly. “They were in the way.”
“No, they weren’t,” I cried hoarsely. “I could have talked to them—”
“You did. And they called the fucking cops on me.” His voice was still quiet, but impatience flashed in his eyes. “They wouldn’t have let us be together. Now no one will stop us.”
I couldn’t breathe as I looked back at the table. A lump grew in my throat, making it impossible for me to respond. This couldn’t be real. But even my worst nightmares didn’t come close to the scene in front of me. My parents were slumped over the table, their chests ripped open from multiple bullet wounds. One of my older brothers was slouched in his chair with one bullet hole in the center of his forehead. My oldest brother was on the floor with blood surrounding him. I gagged, unable to look away, wishing I could take back the last year of my life.
I jumped when a loud crash came from behind me. I turned to see Liam destroying my childhood memories. He pushed the bookshelf to the floor before sweeping all the picture frames off the wall shelves.
“I would have left with you,” I shrieked. “I promised I would.”
The man who’d turned my life upside down tugged me into an embrace, and it took everything in me not to shudder with disgust. He pulled away, catching my chin and forcing me to look at him.
“The day I met you, my life changed,” Joel told me. “I knew you were meant to be mine.”
My thoughts went back to that night a year ago as I stared at him. My friends and I had decided to go to an illegal street race. At sixteen, we knew nothing about that kind of life, and wanted an adventure. We snuck out of our houses and went downtown, where we knew the races were happening. The plan was to stay hidden and just watch. Until Joel saw me.
He invited me into his car during his race, and that was the beginning of the end. I began seeing him in secret, the excitement of dating an older bad boy overshadowing the danger I’d put myself in. The more time I spent with him, the more I realized it was a mistake. I went from an honor roll student to sneaking out every night, partaking in activities I knew could get me arrested. But the thrill of everything was addicting, and the life consumed me.
Until my parents found out about Joel a few weeks ago.
“Your family didn’t understand. You’re my soulmate, Lina. They were going to take you away.” Joel pulled me away from the dining room, and a sob escaped me as I looked at my family one last time. “Age is nothing when it comes to us. They couldn’t see that.”
I hadn’t known he was thirty when I met him. And by the time I found out, it didn’t matter. I was infatuated with him. But now he was my personal devil, and he had a hold so tight on me that I was struggling for every breath.
“Go pack a bag,” he told me, giving me a push toward the stairs. “We need to leave.”
“Joel, I can’t leave. At least let me put my family to rest,” I pleaded as numbness began climbing through me. If I left with him, I was never getting away.
“No,” he snapped. “Pack whatever you want. We won’t be coming back here. Ever.”
My chest heaved as I raced up the stairs, needing to get away from him. I flung open my bedroom door, letting my tears flow. I sobbed uncontrollably, grabbing my bag and throwing in whatever clothes I could find. Rushing to my window, I silently lifted it like I’d done every night for the past year. I had one leg out before a voice shot terror down my spine.
“You don’t want to do that.” Liam was standing in my doorway.
I’d met Liam the same night as Joel. It was clear that Joel was the boss, but at the time, I had no idea how deep in the criminal world they were. Liam did whatever Joel asked, but he had always been nice to me.
“I can’t do it,” I choked out. “I can’t be with him.”
“You can,” Liam said firmly. “You have to.”
“Or what? He’ll kill me?” I asked in a whisper. “I deserve death after what I did to my family—”
“That wasn’t you. That was him,” Liam cut me off. “I’m sorry, Mili, but the second Joel laid eyes on you, your life was his. No matter how hard you fight against it. Make it easier on yourself and be agreeable.”
“Please, just let me leave,” I begged, knowing it was useless.
“I can’t do that.” He sighed, sympathy covering his face. “But I’ll try to make your life easier when I can.”
My heart lurched when I heard footsteps on the stairs, and I fell back into my room, shutting my window and spinning around as Joel strode in. He glanced at my bag on my shoulder and smiled.
“Ready, baby?” He took my bag from me before leading me back to the hall. “Now that we can leave this town, I can show you the world. It’s going to be amazing.”
I could feel the strings of my free will being sliced with every step I took. I was trapped with the man I’d thought I loved until I realized what a monster he was.
And he was never going to let me go.
Cold sweat covered my body, and I went rigid, feeling someone pulling my arm. Sliding my other hand under my pillow, I gripped my handgun and whipped it out.
“Mili, it’s just me. It’s just me,” a voice said quickly.
I blinked, trying to make sense of my dark surroundings. Caleb was staying absolutely still, and I pulled the gun from his forehead as my heart beat against my ribs.
“Jesus, I’m sorry,” I muttered, tossing the gun onto the mattress. “I forgot where I was.”
“I thought the nightmares stopped.” He scooted closer to me.
“They did. Until I had a close brush with my past,” I mumbled, jumping to my feet.
I paced in front of the window that took up the entire bedroom wall. The full moon illuminated the ocean waves crashing onto the beach. I’d flown to Florida to see Caleb the night after everything happened at Andy’s garage. And then passed out before I could tell him why I’d come. His small beach house was outside Miami and was one place I felt truly at home. I ran my hands down my face, sucking in deep breaths. I didn’t know what time it was, but there was no way I’d be able to fall back to sleep now.
“Please tell me whoever did that to your face is in the ground.” Caleb stood up and caught my arm. “If those fucking guys in Ridgewood are touching you—”
“It wasn’t them.” I met his gaze. “It was Liam.”
His red hair was disheveled from sleep, and tattoos poked out from under the tank top he was wearing. Shock had his jaw dropping, and he stayed quiet while I explained what happened. When I was finished, he wrapped me in a hug. I stiffened but leaned into him, knowing he was trying to comfort me.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I know you had a soft spot for Liam.”
“He was going to take me back,” I said in a choked whisper. “I couldn’t let him live.”
“You did the right thing,” he soothed, brushing hair out of my face.
He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, offering me one before he opened the glass door and we stepped onto the patio. I lit my cigarette and inhaled, not caring that I’d promised I was going to stop smoking when I was stressed. It had been a bad fucking couple of days. The door opened again, and I was instantly on guard until I saw who it was.
Tucker glanced at me before looking at Caleb. “Is everything okay? I heard screaming.”
Caleb smiled at him. “We’re fine.”
Still not looking convinced, Tucker looked back at me. “It’s good to see you, Mili. It’s been a while.”
“I thought it was time to make sure you two weren’t getting into any trouble.” I managed a small grin, but Tucker took the hint and went back inside. I wasn’t in the mood for talking, even with Caleb. But he wasn’t about to leave me alone with my thoughts.
“How are you two?” I asked.
“We’re good.” Caleb chuckled. “Still getting used to living with someone again though.”
I giggled, remembering how Caleb and I were at each other’s throats when I’d lived with him. I wasn’t exactly a slob, but Caleb detested any kind of mess, and it caused a lot of heated arguments. He and Tucker had been dating for the last three years, and they seemed right for each other. At first, I was suspicious of him, and so was Caleb. After the life we came from, trusting anyone was next to impossible. But Tucker hadn’t given up, and Caleb slowly let him in. Tucker knew bits and pieces of our past, but not everything.
Caleb turned serious. “I didn’t know Liam—or any of them—were still in the game. I’d been keeping up with their lives online, and there wasn’t a hint about it. They must be doing it completely different from how they used to.”
Caleb used to be Joel’s tech guy, and he was the reason I’d escaped. I owed him my life, and I’d do anything for him. Ever since I became Sapphire, he’d gone above and beyond for me. He was the one who chose my jobs off the dark web. He managed my bank accounts and did research so I could plan each job. A couple of years ago, I offered him an out. To go live a normal life, but he just laughed, saying I couldn’t get rid of him that easy.
“What if Joel is free?” The question felt like acid on my tongue, but I had to ask.
He shook his head. “He’s not. I promise.”
I couldn’t kill Joel, so I’d done the next best thing. He’s locked away in a third-world prison where I pay to make sure he stays there in isolation. Liam and the rest of his gang thought he was dead, and I needed to keep it that way. Until I did the Panther job, and then I was free to kill him. A moment I couldn’t fucking wait for.
“Do you mind if I stay here for a while?” I asked, sinking into the patio chair.
“Mili, you know you can stay here for however long you want.” He stared at me curiously. “You don’t like Ridgewood?”
I chuckled. “Actually, I do. The two guys I’m working with are…interesting. And the mayor seems to have a thing for me.”
His eyes widened. “You like one of them?”
“No,” I snapped. “They’re nothing. I need them to help me with the job, that’s all.”
“Not every man is like Joel. You’ll find someone again,” he said softly.
“I’d rather spend my life with cars than men. At least I know cars won’t try to fuck me over.”
“You’ll change your mind.”
“Don’t hold your breath.” I stood and opened the door. “You care if I raid your fridge? I’m starving.”
He waved his hand. “Take whatever you want.”
I walked through the guest bedroom and out into the hall, moving slowly through the dark. Once I got to the kitchen, I flicked on the light, surprising both myself and Tucker, who was leaning against the black granite counter. He set his glass of water down as I moved past him to get to the fridge.
“Caleb will do anything for you. Even if it costs him his life.” Tucker’s words made me freeze. “I love him. So whatever you two are planning, please be careful.”
I faced him, giving him a confident grin. “I’m always careful, Tucker. I swear Caleb won’t get hurt.”
I had every intention of keeping that promise. I was doing the Panther job, or I’d die trying. Because if I failed, there would be no reason to live anyway. At least if something happened to me, I knew Caleb would always have Tucker.
I rummaged through the fridge for food, pushing away the intruding thoughts of the three guys I left back in Ridgewood. It was annoying me that I couldn’t get them out of my head, and I wasn’t used to it.
I’d almost rather be back there, messing with them, than here in Florida.
