Aiden and I are at the back of Papa’s car, sitting side by side.
The moment Derek drives away from the Meet Up, my breathing turns faster and harsher, as if I’ve been running.
As if I’m climbing a mountain and have no way to get down. Then I’m falling and there’s no landing in sight. It’s a fatal fall, the type that crushes your skull and destroys your body.
I stare out the window and focus on the empty road to not think about what I’ve just learnt.
The distraction doesn’t help. The inhaling and exhaling don’t help either.
There’s a weight on my chest that won’t go the hell away. It’s suffocating me the more I gulp air into my lungs.
All I want to do is scream until my voice turns hoarse and I can’t scream anymore.
I retrieve my phone and pretend I’m scrolling through my vain chat room with Veronica and Summer. It’s all about gossip and the latest makeup and fashion trends. The stupidity itself should somehow cool my head.
It doesn’t.
The only image going on in my mind on a freaking loop is Cole having sex with our head nurse. He was having sex with her.
As in they were naked and he kissed her.
Tears fight to spill free, but I turn away from Aiden and widen my eyes so they stay there. I won’t cry. I’m not going to cry because of that arsehole.
So what if he has sex? I don’t care. Why should I care?
Cole can go to hell for all I care.
I hate him. The one good thing about him is that he’s Helen’s son. That’s it.
That’s all.
Since that day he kissed me, I knew Cole wasn’t for me. I just knew it. The moment he compared me to others, blatantly declaring I was only one of his conquests, I decided I would be the conquest he’d never win.
He might make me lose at studies and piano and sports, but he’ll never make me lose at this game.
And I meant what I said. I’ll make him regret it.
My firsts?
Screw him. He lost the right to those the moment he didn’t save his firsts for me.
Cole might act like I’m a fly in his vicinity, but he gets unnecessarily aggressive when he knows Aiden and I have spent time together behind his back. We only do it because Papa and Uncle Jonathan are close friends and we’re often invited as a set.
And by unnecessarily aggressive, I mean he’ll accept Aiden’s challenges, even when he usually doesn’t. He makes sure to win every time too.
Cole doesn’t just win. He crushes. Then he walks all over you as if you never existed.
I lay the phone on my lap. “Out with it.”
Aiden throws me a glance. He has a permanent ‘piss off’ look etched on his features. And while he’s relatively handsome with his styled black hair and sharp features, I don’t know why the girls find him attractive and nearly blend in with the walls whenever he passes them by.
He’s annoying and entitled and has sociopathic tendencies. If they tried looking behind his exterior for a second, maybe they’d figure that out, but girls like Summer and Veronica say stuff like, ‘but he’s so hot’ as if that will save them when he ends up choking the life out of them.
“Out with what?” he asks.
“Derek and I know you don’t enjoy our company, so why did you want to catch a ride?”
“For your beautiful eyes, Queens.”
“Eww. Don’t ever try that again with me. I literally want to throw up.”
He smirks. “You wouldn’t want to throw up if it were Nash, eh?”
“Fuck him and you.”
“Someone is triggered.”
“What do you want, Aiden?” I grit out through my teeth. “If this is some sort of game between you two, I’m not playing. I’m not a pawn on either of your chessboards. I’m a queen on mine.”
“Interesting.” He fully faces me. “But here’s the thing, this can be your game too.”
“My game?”
“Revenge. You said you’ll make him regret it. Do you know the best way to do that?” He lowers his voice so Derek doesn’t hear. “Losing your virginity to me.”
“You must be out of your mind if you think I’d let you touch me.” I flip my hair back. “If we were the last two people left on this planet and our children were the only hope for humanity, I’d vote for extinction.”
Derek’s lips twitch in a smile in the rear-view mirror and I smile back at him. He understands me.
“Unfortunately, that’s mutual,” Aiden says. “The only good thing about you is your ability to rile Nash up.”
I fold my arms over my chest. “Why unfortunately?”
“Because I won’t be able to fuck you and win against him.”
“Who says it has to actually happen?” I smirk. “We just have to make him believe it did.”
Aiden mirrors my smirk; his, however, appears more wolfish. “I like the way you think, Queens.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“What do you say we become allies and crush him?”
“Crush him how?”
“In a way he’ll fall at your feet like a puppy.”
I don’t want that. I only want him to feel the pain he inflicts on me. I want to hurt him as much as he hurts me.
I want him to look in the mirror and hold back screams because he’s been making me feel invisible.
Since that night, I’ve never been invisible to him. But lately, he’ll pass me by and greet Veronica and Summer, but not me. He’ll smile at them, but never me.
It’s like he’s punishing me for something I’ve never done. Okay, so maybe I did the same, but he started it.
Or did I?
I don’t remember. Either way, he’s at fault. I refuse to lose to him or anyone else.
I focus back on Aiden. “How do you intend to do that?”
“Give me your phone.”
“What are you going to do with it?” I ask suspiciously.
“Just give it.”
I unlock the device and pass it to him.
He types something, then shows me. He texted Cole from my phone.
Silver: We sent Papa’s driver away and guess what we did?
Cole sees the message but doesn’t reply.
Aiden’s lips pull in a smirk as he types again. He’s so keen about details, he even included how I address my father.
He sends another text and shows it to me.
Silver: Aiden fucked me so hard, I’m so sore and can’t move.
I gasp, bile rising to my throat at the image he’s painted in Cole’s head about me. “Why did you do that?”
“Isn’t that what you want him to think?”
“Yeah, but not that way.”
“Believe me, he needs to get the crude details to react…” he trails off and brings out his phone. Cole’s name flashes on his screen. “Speak of the devil.”
“Are you going to answer?” I murmur.
“No. It’s better to keep him in suspense, don’t you think?”
“Why, of course.” This is my revenge. I didn’t throw myself away and have sex just to spite him, but Cole thinks that.
That’s the only part that matters.
My phone buzzes with a text from an unknown number. Aiden starts to look at it, but I snatch it away.
I don’t want him, of all people, to know about that part of my life. We might be allies, but I don’t trust Aiden, not even a little. If he thinks disclosing this would benefit him in any way, he’d do it in a heartbeat.
One peek at the text causes my skin to prickle.
Unknown Number: I love the new watch.
I’ve been receiving these types of texts for the past few weeks. At first, I liked how someone praised my piano playing and said I have the best dresses.
It’s when they started to describe my daily routines and the clothes I wore outside that I recognised I might have a stalker.
The only reason I’ve ignored it is because they’ve just been harmless texts. Besides, Papa is preparing for an important internal campaign. I won’t, under any circumstances, divide his attention.
Mum is also in that campaign, and if she knows about this, she’ll raise hell and take it to social media. That’s the last thing I want.
So for now, I’ve decided to keep it to myself. If it gets more persistent or creepy, I’ll tell Papa or maybe Frederic. He’s PR-savvy so he’ll know how to deal with it.
We arrive at my house first. “Derek, please drive Aiden home.”
“I’ll keep Nash on the edge.” Aiden winks. “This is going to be so fun.”
No. It’s not fun. I might want to get back at Cole and I won’t allow him to throw me the short end of the stick, but I don’t enjoy this.
It’s just a necessity.
Aiden, however, is finding the most joy in it.
I’m about to step out when Papa peeks in from the passenger window. “Aiden, perfect. Come join us.”
An automatic smile lifts my face the moment I see him. I barge out of the car and squeeze him in a hug. “Papa! What are you doing home this early?”
He strokes my hair back — it’s a habit he started from when I had a fever ever since I was young, and it usually puts me back to sleep. Even now that I’ve grown up, he still does it.
I’ve always loved it when I’m sick. It’s the only time my parents nurse me all night without fighting.
Papa is a tall man with a darker shade of blond hair than mine. His eyes are a light brown that turn to mesmerising hazel under the sun.
He’s wearing his three-piece Italian cut suit and he still has his leather shoes on, which means he recently got home. He usually changes into a cardigan sweater as soon as he leaves the office. Unless he has company.
His next words confirm my suspicions. “Jonathan and I have something important to discuss with you and Aiden.”
“Is this about a fundraiser?” I ask.
“Let’s talk in the house.” Papa nods at his driver. “Thank you, Derek. That will be all.”
Aiden follows us inside as I keep hanging on to Papa by the waist. I feel like I haven’t seen him in an eternity. Not only has he been busy lately, but Mum has been dropping in unannounced, demanding I spend time with her and complaining that I never do anymore.
The guilt trip frequently works and I end up in her flat before I know it.
We go into Papa’s office. It’s as big as a conference hall with photos in black frames of previous leaders of the Conservative Party who Papa looks up to.
The wood and the chandeliers give a hint about Papa’s ancient roots and how much he believes in classical with a modern twist. Everything in his office has a time and place. You never find papers stacked on top of each other or in disorder.
He’s all about law and order to the point he uses it as the slogan of his campaign.
There’s a conference table in the middle with a presentation board and everything.
We head to the adjacent lounge area that has brown leather sofas and chairs. Uncle Jonathan is already sitting there, sipping from a glass of scotch and scrolling through his tablet on what looks like the FTSE 100 Index.
Aiden is a replica of his father appearance-wise. They share the same black hair and dark grey eyes. Uncle Jonathan, however, has a sharper edge and he’s frightening with his enemies. He’s crushed countless companies and rivals until they either disappeared off the face of the earth or agreed to his conditions. All he cares about is profit and going forward.
I’m glad Papa is his friend, not his enemy. Upon seeing us, he places his glass and tablet on the table. “Wonderful, both of you are here. Saves us time speaking to you separately.”
“Sit down.” Papa motions at the sofa as he settles in beside Uncle Jonathan.
“What’s going on?” I ask after Aiden and I sit next to each other.
“Jonathan and I were talking,” Papa starts. “And we think it would be a marvellous idea to join our families through marriage. That is, only if both of you agree.”
If I were drinking something, I would’ve spat it all out right about now. It shouldn’t be a surprise that Papa and Uncle Jonathan would want to join forces, but I never thought it would be this soon or in this way.
“Aiden has no reason to disagree.” Jonathan raises his brows at his son. “Isn’t that right?”
“I’m fine with it,” Aiden says.
My eyes snap in his direction, asking him without words, what the hell he’s doing.
“Remember what I told you about becoming allies?” he whispers.
“But we’re only fifteen,” I tell Papa.
“There will be no marriage until at least after university, Princess. This is just putting the rocks in place.”
“Or rather, the chess pieces.” Jonathan sips from his drink.
I know the whole meaning behind this. Papa is a secretary of state who can help Uncle Jonathan, and in return, he’ll push him in the next elections towards Papa’s most coveted dream — becoming the prime minister.
He’s already gathering votes to become the leader of the Conservative Party, and by the next general elections, Papa will be the strongest leader of the country.
I want to help him with everything in me. I really do. But…something in my chest aches at the thought of being engaged to Aiden when —
No.
I won’t let my brain finish that thought.
My phone dings, and I apologise, pulling it out to shut it off. The name on the text notification stops me in my tracks.
Cole.
It’s almost like a sign. He messages me now to stop me before it’s too late.
My heart thumps so loud as I open the text.
Cole: You and Aiden deserve each other. You’re a bitch and he’s a psycho. One day, you’ll fall, Butterfly, and I’ll stand there and watch as you burn.
Something breaks inside my chest.
I hear it, feel it, I just can’t see it.
My eyes burn with tears, but I inhale deeply, disallowing them from spilling.
I’m a lady.
Ladies don’t cry in public.
“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, Princess.” Papa smiles at me with so much warmth, I want to hug him all over again. “You know I’ll never force you to do anything.”
“I want to do it.” I manage a smile. “I’ll be engaged to Aiden.”
I’ll help Papa.
And most importantly, I’ll get over the cancer that’s been eating at me for years.
The cancer without a cure. Cole.
