I lied.
I told Papa and Helen I was going out with Veronica and Summer. Instead, I’m at Ronan’s house.
Okay, Veronica and Summer are here too, so it’s not like it’s a complete lie.
Papa doesn’t like it when I party. He doesn’t say it out loud, but he thinks it’s beneath me.
It’s not like I love it myself. Unlike what everyone believes, I don’t like attention. Or at least, I like it on my terms, and not twenty-four-seven.
The three of us stroll through the entrance. Lars, Ronan’s favourite butler, greets us by name. And yes, when Ronan’s earl father isn’t around, he has his butlers organise the parties for him, and he practically throws them at every chance possible.
He makes any event a reason for celebration.
Summer and Veronica each flip their hair back. I do too, not to announce my arrival, but to boost myself with some confidence — I need every drop that exists.
For that very reason, I wore my short peach-coloured Louis Vuitton dress. It stops above my knees, the slits at the front and the back giving it a provocative view while still saying ‘You can’t afford what’s underneath this shit.’
I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and put on red lipstick, thinking of Mum’s words.
Red kills them, Babydoll.
I finished the look with red nails and heels so high, they make my legs taller and my arse perfect.
Silver Queens is here to conquer.
Aiden and Cole have always been unbeatable at chess, but what they seem to have forgotten is that I also play. I plot, too.
Just because I let Cole invade my body in that brutal, unapologetic way doesn’t mean he gets to step on me.
The thumping of some trendy pop music echoes in the air. RES’s students dance to the beat, chugging alcohol and grinding against each other.
Some make out openly, clinging to one another as if tomorrow will be the apocalypse.
“Ew, gross,” Veronica chirps loudly as we pass them by.
“Get a room, losers,” Summer continues.
I stare back at the couple even after we pass them. My chest aches at the view and I shake my head refusing to think about the reason.
“Mission?” I ask them.
“Find Cole before he does something stupid.” Veronica readjusts her generous cleavage.
“On it, Sil.” Summer gives me an ‘I’ll call you’ sign as we split up.
I told them I can’t let Cole do anything that will hurt Papa’s image. It’s true — but only partially.
One, Cole would never do that. He’s too careful.
Two, that’s nowhere near the reason why I’m here.
I begin my hunt through the house. The problem is, Ronan’s mansion is so damn huge. I get lost in it on normal days, let alone when it’s full of people.
Pulling my phone out, I type.
Silver: Have you seen Cole?
The reply comes immediately.
Aiden: Since when are you so obvious about looking for him?
Silver: Answer the question.
Aiden: That would be a no. I don’t like being ordered around. Try again in ten years.
Aiden: Best of luck finding him when he chooses to disappear.
I swear I’ll punch Aiden one day, but that won’t be today or as long as he’s agreeing to be engaged to me. I’m not an idiot. I know he’ll leave me in a heartbeat if he chooses to, and if that happens, I’ll be completely at Cole’s mercy — or the lack thereof.
At least now, he feels threatened. Now, when he thinks no one is watching, he looks at Aiden like he wants to murder him.
Cole has always gravitated towards Aiden more than Ronan or Xander. It’s like an understanding of sorts. What if he’s only hung up on me because Aiden has me, and once Aiden disappears from my side, he’ll consider himself the winner and move along?
My chest squeezes at the thought.
Since when did I start to have Mum’s mindset?
My phone vibrates with a text.
Summer: Spotted at the eastern wing fifteen minutes ago.
That doesn’t help. There are, like, fifteen rooms there.
I type the fastest I ever have.
Silver: Alone?
Summer: With Jennifer from the track team.
My fingers hover over the keyboard and moisture fills my eyes.
No.
I won’t allow myself to cry about this.
The moment I lift my head, my gaze collides with Adam’s. He’s sitting in a small lounge area with the rest of the rugby team. Those guys are popular, too. Not as much as the football team, but they have their share of girls and glory. While his team members are joking, laughing, and drinking, he’s not.
A bottle of beer nestles between his fingers as he stares at me. Unblinking. Unmoving. Almost like he’s been watching me that way since I came in.
My shoulder blades snap together and I swallow as I quickly cut off eye contact. It’s better to pretend I didn’t see him
I need out of his vicinity. Now.
I spot Xander pouring juice in his vodka bottle. Before any of the girls start ganging on him, I storm in his direction, out of Adam’s view, and grab him by the arm.
He grins down at me, showing me his dimples. “Queen B, I thought this scene is beneath you with all the stupidity around? You know, alcohol and sex. Wait, is that still a taboo word? Sex, I mean.”
“Shut up.”
Xander laughs and it’s charming. He’s charming. Why the hell isn’t he the one I’m hung up on? Why did it have to be that wanker?
“You still won’t show me your tits?”
“No.”
“Tell you what, I’ll give you a hundred so you make Ronan believe you showed them to me.”
“Ronan tried that tactic before you and the answer is still no.”
“That fucker.” He appears genuinely offended.
“You need to step up your game, Xan.”
“I know…” he trails off as Kim appears at the entrance plastering a shy smile on her face.
She stares between me and Xander, her chin trembles the slightest bit, which used to be her habit before crying when we were kids, then she turns around and leaves.
I bite my lower lip, my feet itching to go to her and alleviate that awkwardness of being in a party alone. But I can’t. She can’t get close or she’d read me. No one is allowed to read me.
“Why don’t you go after her?” I ask Xander who’s still watching the place she stood in, his fingers strangling the bottle.
“Why don’t you?”
“I…can’t.”
“Maybe I can’t either.”
“You were her best friend, Xan. She needs you more than she ever needed me.”
“So now you care? You didn’t when you were acting like a bitch towards her.”
“You aren’t a saint either. She used to always brag about how you promised to never leave her and that you’re her knight.”
He swallows, his Adam’s apple moving with the motion. “Yeah, whatever.”
“What happened back then, Xan?”
“Nothing. Or maybe everything.” He throws a dismissive hand and chugs down the entire vodka-juice down his throat. “What are you doing here anyway?”
The reason why I came slams to the front of my mind. “Searching for Cole. Helen needs him and can’t reach him.”
Lies and lies and more fucking lies.
“Oh.” He blinks slowly. “Are you sure you want to interrupt him?”
“Yes.”
“It won’t be pretty.”
“Let me worry about that.”
“Whatever. He’s in the west wing, second room to last.”
I kiss his cheek. “You’re the best.”
“You bet.” He winks.
The only reason I don’t run is because I’m not supposed to.
You never know where reporters are hiding, Silver. Always be on your best behaviour in public, Babydoll.
Mum’s words are engraved in my head like a mantra.
As soon as I ascend the stairs and I’m out of everyone’s view, I run all the way down the hall, ignoring both the pain from my heels and the one in my chest.
Images of that bound girl I saw on Cole’s phone flash in my head like a horror film.
Stopping in front of the door, I realise that my heart hurts. So much that I feel like I’ll throw it all up if I’m touched in any wrong way.
Do I really want to see what’s inside? Do I want to witness it with my own eyes?
Maybe I should go back, bring out my journal and curse him in it.
And then what? Cry myself to sleep like a pathetic fool?
I won’t do that. I’m not a coward. Cole Nash will never break me.
Taking a deep breath, I grab the handle and push. It’s locked.
Shit. Of course it’s locked. Why had I thought Cole would not think of that?
I don’t leave, though. I knock.
That’s what you do when you’ve decided to attack — you can’t pull back. You have to get on with it. Finish it. Conquer it.
If you lose, so be it. At least you tried.
I raise my hand to knock a second time, but the door opens and my fist nearly hits Cole’s chest. I’m tempted to do just that, but the shadow peeking from inside stops me.
He’s still wearing the T-shirt and jeans from earlier. His face is neutral except for the small twitch at the corner of his lips. “Why, Silver, what are you doing here?”
I push him aside and barge inside. The girl, Jennifer, sits on the bed in only her lace bra and underwear. She doesn’t even try to hide her nakedness.
My blood boils at seeing her. She’s like me, or rather, a fake me with fake blonde hair that’s filled with extensions and fake blue eyes and fake everything.
“Silver?” She stares between me and Cole, who’s still standing at the door. “I thought we were going to play. What is your sister doing here?”
Sister.
Freaking sister?
“Kicking your butt out.” I gather her stupid skirt and T-shirt off the floor and hand them to her. “Out.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” She has an annoying voice that I want to hit the mute button for. “What makes you the boss of me?”
I grab her by the arm, my nails digging into her flesh.
She whines. “Stop her, Cole.”
He doesn’t.
He just stands at the entrance with that blank expression that I’m sure harbours the devil and his minions.
Ignoring him, I drag Jennifer outside and throw her clothes behind her.
She picks them up, shaking her head. “No one mentioned anything about a crazy sister.”
“I’m not his fucking sister!” I slam the door shut to mute her voice.
My breathing is shallow and harsh as I stand facing the door.
There. Another one out of the way.
Mum is right. Women can conquer.
“Not my fucking sister, huh?” A sinister voice whispers from behind me.
It’s then I realise what I’ve done and that I’m all alone with Cole.
Now that I stopped whatever he was planning, I can go. I place my hand on the handle when he speaks, “Leave and I’ll call Jennifer to finish what we started.”
I whirl around and fold my arms over my chest. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Proving that you want me, even if you don’t like to admit it.”
“We both know that’s not true.”
He strokes a strand of hair behind my ear, murmuring, “We both know you’re a liar.”
My breathing loses its regular rhythm as his hand stays beside my face.
“You dressed up for me, put on red lipstick, your fuck-me heels, and your favourite Chanel perfume.” He sniffles me, and I fight the need to lean in and smell him too. “But I prefer your hair loose.”
He tugs on the pin holding my blonde strands, letting them fall in cascades down my back. “You shouldn’t be jealous of Jennifer.”
“Stop saying that. I’m not.”
“Is that why you kicked her out?”
“I kicked her out because she’s fake. She’s not me, okay?”
“I’m good with that.”
“W-what?”
“I don’t care as long as there’s a resemblance.” He runs his fingers through my hair. “What’s it going to be, Butterfly? Take her place or should I call her back?”
“If you do that, I’ll go fuck Aiden.”
He laughs, but there’s no humour behind it as he tugs on my hair. “We both know you won’t do that.”
“Do you want a video this time?”
He pulls me from the door and throws me on the bed. My gasp invades the air when my back hits the soft mattress. I swallow as I get caught in his darkened eyes.
This is the side of Cole he allows no one to see. The side where he’s ready to finish lives while he’s smiling.
He reaches into a drawer by the bed and retrieves several ropes. My eyes widen. Does Ronan allow him to keep things like that in his house?
“Her or you?”
I lift my chin. “She must be already gone.”
“She’ll come back with a simple text. What’s it going to be, Silver?”
“Do you fuck them after you tie them up?” My voice trembles at the end, and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for asking the question I’ve been wondering about since the day I saw that picture on his phone.
He raises a brow. “You can find out after I tie you up.”
“No.”
“No?”
“You can’t fuck me. You can just look at me and wish you had me, but you can’t fuck me.” I won’t be one of his others. I’ll be me. The one he can’t have no matter how much he wishes to.
“I don’t agree to that.” Cole approaches me.
“It’s my deal or no deal.”
“You’re going to regret that, Butterfly.”
“We’ll see about that.”
“Remove the dress,” he orders.
“You’re not going to fuck me, so no.”
He narrows his eyes, but he quickly masks it. “Very well, Silver. Let’s do it your way.”
Yes, my way.
Power buzzes through me like a high. I lie on the bed, and even though I feel a sense of control, I can’t help thinking it’s a fake one.
No. I am in control. We’re doing it my way.
Cole parts my legs and secures them to the poles of the bed. The feel of his fingers against my skin is like lava. The ropes dig into my skin so I test them by wiggling my toes; they tighten around my flesh. He moves to my hands, and when I’m spread-eagled, I realise the mistake I’ve made.
I’ve left myself under his control, where he can revoke the stakes on me. Where he can decide to never untie me.
Trying not to freak out, I speak in my most composed tone, “Now what?”
“I’m not done.”
He rummages through the drawer and brings out a ball gag and a blindfold. I swallow, then pretend the notion of losing all my senses doesn’t scare the shit out of me.
“Do you want me to stop here, pat you on the back, and let you go?” He asks in the same mocking tone he usually uses to ask if I’m a coward. He’s saying it without the words.
“I’m not a quitter,” I say.
A smile curves his lips as he wraps the gag around my mouth and straps it behind my head, which he lets fall to the pillow. Almost instantly, drool forms over the rubber no matter how much I try to swallow.
Cole’s sadistic smile is the last thing I see before he secures the blindfold over my eyes, plunging my world into darkness.
Losing my sight makes me super aware of everything else. Like the feel of the soft sheets beneath me, Cole’s cinnamon and lime scent, the goosebumps he leaves behind as he glides his finger down my cheek.
“You fucked up, Silver.” His sinister voice fills the silence of the air like doom. “You shouldn’t have given me this power over you.”
“Mmmm,” I mumble, but the gag stops me from forming any words.
He traces my upper lip. “Do you know how much I’ve fantasised about having you completely at my mercy?”
Cole fantasised about me?
Oh, God. Why does that sound more wrong than the current situation?
And why do I want to look at his face as he says it?
His fingers wrap around my throat and he squeezes. It’s not suffocating and nowhere near as hard as when he fucked me against the shower wall, but a full-body shudder grips me and zaps straight between my legs. It could be the helplessness, or the fact that I can’t stop him if he does squeeze too tight.
“I can’t fuck you, but I can play with you.” His hand leaves my neck and his entire presence vanishes.
The loss registers in my chest before I can control my reaction.
Where is he? Did he leave?
What seems like hours — but could be only minutes — pass as I try to control my drooling and count the pulses in my ears.
God, why do I feel so hyperaware of everything?
“Cole…” I mumble his name around the ball gag. It comes out unintelligible.
Where is he? He put me in this situation, the least he can do is alleviate the intensity.
I feel like I’m going to explode. I’ve never been so helpless in my life, and the fact that Cole is the one who’s witnessing it causes small bursts of adrenaline to rush through me.
Then, suddenly, his fingers grip my thighs and I try to clench them closed, but my position and the ropes keep me from making much of a difference.
Cole lifts my dress to my waist, baring my thighs to the cool air. “Stay still, Butterfly. You’ll only bruise that beautiful, porcelain skin.”
Beautiful.
He thinks my skin is beautiful.
Ugh, brain, seriously? His hand is sneaking up my thigh and all I can think about is that?
He cups me through my underwear and I groan. It’s like I’ve been on fire and he’s finally dousing it.
“Fuck, you’re soaked.” He slides my underwear as far as they’ll go down my legs, and before I can focus on the brush of his fingers against the inside of my thighs, his hands are gone.
“You like it, don’t you?” He circles my clit with his lean digits, making my back arch off the bed. “The fact that you’re under my control, the fact that I get to do whatever I want with you without your brain meddling?”
I want to shake my head, but the sensation he’s eliciting in my body turns me motionless. I just want more of it.
More.
“I’m going to taste you. For real this time.” And then his mouth takes the place of his fingers, sucking on my clit. I buck off the bed as I immediately fall apart, the orgasm washing over me like a waterfall.
Oh, God.
I’m so turned on that I come by only his lips against me.
“Fuck, baby,” he speaks against my clit. “I’m going to feast on you.”
And he does.
I’m not even down from the first orgasm when he starts lapping at my folds.
One of his hands grips my thighs while the other slides under my dress and pinches my nipple beneath the built-in bra.
I can’t stay still on the bed, my bound limbs jerking at the ropes. The fact that I’m tied up and can’t see or scream adds a pleasure I never thought was possible. It’s like he’s stealing all my senses, all my thoughts, then thrusting them back in so they’ll focus on this moment.
His tongue plunges in and out of me with a maddening ferocity, as if he’s fucking me with his cock.
I scream, but it comes out muffled as I come again, my head falling sideways and my cheeks flaming.
“You’re addictive, Butterfly.” The rumble of his voice and his light stubble create a different type of friction against my most intimate parts. “I won’t stop until you admit you belong to me. Only me.”
Oh, God.
“If you want me to stop, I will. Under one condition.” He crawls atop me. “I’m going to remove the gag and you’re going to moan my name.”
The moment he unstraps the gag, I pretend that I’ll do as he asks. I’ll give him what he wants so he’ll end this, but instead, I swallow my drool and say, “I hate you.”
“Your choice, Silver.” His voice is calm, but I can sense the darkness beneath it.
I’ve pissed him off, and he’ll take revenge.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s exactly what I want.
After he puts the gag back in place, he goes back to eating me out like an animal, a madman who can’t stop.
I come again and again.
By the fourth orgasm, I think I’m dehydrating and will faint.
Cole’s knees are on either side of me as he crawls atop me again and removes the gag. “Now say it.”
“N-no.”
“Fuck your stubbornness, Silver. Do you think I’ll let you go?”
It takes all my energy, but I manage to get out, “Show me your worst, Cole.”
He chuckles without humour. “You asked for it.”
As he straps the gag back in place, I brace myself for more. So what if I faint? I’ll never let him break me.
Then the door opens and I freeze, my heart nearly leaping out of my throat.
Oh, no. No, no, no…
If someone sees us and —
“Looks like fun. I should’ve been invited, considering I’m the fiancé and all.”
I release a long breath at Aiden’s voice. My body sags and I fight to keep my eyes open behind the blindfold. My breathing starts buzzing in my ears and I can barely register my blurry surroundings.
“Fuck off,” Cole says calmly as he smooths my dress and I feel him pulling my underwear up my legs.
The fact he’s hiding my nakedness from Aiden should make me grateful, but I hate him too much to feel any sort of thanks right now.
“What was that, brother-in-law?”
“Say that again and I’ll murder you.” It’s the first time I’ve heard Cole issue such a direct threat.
It’s like he’s ready to act on his threat right here, right now.
“Can’t you see what you’re doing?” Aiden’s voice. “She’s fainting.”
“That’s none of your business,” Cole says.
Hands pull the blindfold away and I squint at the light before I make out Aiden’s expression. He’s smiling down at me with contempt. “You owe me one.”
“Yo,” Ronan’s stoned voice comes from the door. “The fuck? You have a threesome and I’m not invited?”
Cole shoos him out, and by the time he returns, Aiden is already unbinding me.
My lids flutter closed despite my attempts to keep them wide open.
I don’t feel so good.
“Silver.” Cole slaps my cheek. “Fuck, Silver?”
“Told you she was fainting,” Aiden says. “I know you’re giddy, but did you lose the Stop button?”
“You shut the fuck up.” Cole focuses on me. “Silver, can you hear me?”
“I hate you,” I murmur and then surrender to the darkness.
