The rest of dinner is uneventful but uncomfortable as hell, thanks to Nox’s antagonistic presence. I’ve never seen North or Gryphon go head to head with him before, or even just attempt to rein him in a little, so it’s almost amusing to watch them shut him down every time he so much as looks in my direction.
The very idea that they could’ve been doing this for me all along but chose not to is like an itch under the skin, niggling at me and impossible to ignore.
I don’t want to eat dessert but when North slides a slice of the baked cheesecake in front of me before heading out for another one of his meetings, all of my plans to run back to my room disappear because, my God, does his chef know how to do desserts right.
Even Atlas takes a second slice.
Once we’re done, Atlas and Gabe head back to my room with me, both of them fussing over me when I stumble a little getting into the elevator. My feet feel as though they weigh a thousand pounds and it’s hard to make them work right. Gabe offers to carry me, grinning and joking around, but I’m also pretty sure he’d do it if I actually said yes to him.
As we get to my room, North comes around the corner from his end of the hallway, the fact that his room is only a few feet away from mine popping back into my head.
Jesus, don’t think about that, Oli.
I’m perfectly ready to just duck into my room and pretend that we haven’t crossed paths here, but right as I get the keys into the door, he stops in front of us and says, “Oleander, a word.”
No please, no explanation, no attempt at telling me what it is that he wants, just another command that I’ll be hearing him out.
I turn to face him but Atlas is already drawling, “Unlikely, Draven. I’m not spending the rest of the night dealing with whatever bullshit you’re here to throw at her this time.”
North’s eyes cut across to him as he snaps, “I will speak to my Bond, in private, for a minute and then she’ll be free to spend the rest of the evening with you two. There’s no ulterior motive here.”
Atlas steps in close to my side, shifting so he’s covering me just a little and a half step away from shielding me completely. It’s such a casually protective move, something he does on instinct but that makes me feel absolutely safe and… loved.
I haven’t felt loved in a very long time.
“I know exactly what happened the last time I trusted her to your care, so no, I don’t think I’ll take you at your word, Draven.”
Gabe’s eyes flick to mine but I instantly look away. I don’t want that on me today, I don’t want their opinions of what happened and their judgements of me. I know that Atlas believes that I’m absolutely a victim, which isn’t true, but I also know that North probably thinks his brother did nothing wrong, which is also not true.
A mess.
Everything is a fucking mess.
North’s jaw tightens and then he looks back over at me. I can see just how angry he is under all of that carefully put together calm of his, all of the tightly restrained rage at having Atlas question him and call him out.
I don’t want things to get worse. I grab Atlas’ hand and give it a squeeze. “It’s okay, I’ll be a minute. Grab a shower and we can study afterwards.”
Gabe opens the door and holds it open for Atlas, a clear sign that he’s happy to take my word for it, but Atlas takes a second before he steps away, every inch of his body practically vibrating with rage and frustration.
He leans down to brush his lips against my cheek softly, a small lifeline to let me know that none of his attitude has anything to do with me, and then he stalks into my room, shutting the door firmly behind him.
I force my hands into my pockets so I don’t fidget with them and give away just how nervous I am to be standing here with him. I’m not scared, nothing about North scares me, but I’m also sure that he would be able to destroy me with only a few carefully chosen words and I’m so tired, so bone-achingly tired, thanks to the long day on campus.
I’m desperate to just pass out.
“You look exhausted.”
That’s not at all what I was expecting out of him and words tumble out of me without thought and harsher than I intend them to be, “I am, but I have no choice but to pass, right? This is what following your orders looks like. Is there a real reason we’re talking, or are you just hoping to pick me apart? If you don’t like my outfit, you’ll have to go to Gryphon. He’s the one who refuses to wear a little color.”
His eyes flick down to the black hoodie I’m drowning in but he doesn’t rise to my bait. There’s something in his eyes that makes me feel defensive, something that says he’s not happy about me wearing my Bond’s clothing, and I have to remind myself that Gryphon never came to my room without leaving something behind for me. He’s seen me wearing them, he’s never said a word to me about it, it’s not like I stole them.
Jesus.
North probably thinks I did steal them and is going to bitch me out about that too. Why isn’t he saying anything? Why is he leaving me here to spiral about all of the possibilities of what this could all be about?
“If you need a tutor or more help with your classes, I will provide you with it. Whatever you need to succeed, you’ll have it.”
I try to keep the frown off of my face. “I’m handling it. I can do it, I’m not stupid. Is this… it? Are you just checking up on me or is there something you need?”
He scowls at me for another second and then shakes his head. “Bassinger is making a problem of himself on your behalf, he wants you to have access to a job and money of your own. I still don’t believe that it’s a good idea, but you’ve convinced enough of your Bonds that you have good intentions, so I’m not going to stop you anymore. You will be at dinner on Mondays and your grades are to stay stable but as long as you’re within your curfews and perimeters, then you can spend your afternoons and weekends however you want.”
My mouth drops open and I’m sure I look like an absolute idiot, but he just turns on his heel and stalks back in the direction he came from without a word.
A job.
Money.
Freedom, a new wardrobe, buying my own breakfast when we’re avoiding eating around my Bonds, this is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me.
I turn back around to my door, the key still sitting in the lock, thanks to Gabe’s forethought, and when I get into the room, I find Atlas standing there, waiting for me with an agitated look on his face.
I launch myself into his arms.
He has great reflexes and catches me, pulling me up and into his chest so that we’re fused together in a way that my bond likes a little too much.
“What happened? What did he do? I’ll kill him,” he mutters, his hands clutching at me in a very respectful, but desperate, sort of way. Like he’s groping at me, but not in any of the places that would make it sexual, which is both a terrible and great thing.
“Nothing. He’s— I can get a job, Atlas! I can work and earn money and buy a pair of jeans that actually make my ass look good,” I ramble at him, close to tears but holding it together.
He chuckles at me and slips his hand down to give my ass a quick squeeze, the tiniest stretch of the boundaries he’s been so good about respecting. “I dunno, it already looks fucking perfect to me. I’ll be spending all of my time in cold showers if it gets any better.”
I scoff at him but only squeeze him tighter because he gave me this. He came here after I ran away from him with nothing but acceptance and a willingness to fight for me when I have nothing to offer him.
If I could do it without risking everything, I’d Bond with him right the hell now. I’d do it without hesitation, ready to commit to him for the rest of our lives, because this is a good man and, fuck, do I need one of those.
“Do you two need a minute?” Gabe says, sarcasm dripping but with the sort of hesitance where it’s clear that he’s expecting us to kick him out.
I break away from Atlas, a blush creeping up my cheeks, and mumble, “I need a shower, it’s been a long day.”
I hear the sound of someone getting punched and Gabe grunting, but I don’t look back to see them bickering again.
I WAKE up to the first knock on my bedroom door and I know instantly that it’s one of my Bonds out there, waiting impatiently to come in as they knock again. Gabe grunts in his sleep and shifts but doesn’t actually wake up from his nest on the floor while Atlas rolls towards me like he’s planning on physically covering me again.
I can’t hide from them forever, no matter how much I might want to.
‘Wait here, I’ll see who it is and what the hell they could want at this time of the morning,’ I murmur. He must be tired because he just mumbles agreeably as he sinks back down onto the pillows.
I’d crawled into bed straight after the shower last night but since it was so early, Gabe had put a movie on and climbed into the bed with me and Atlas, sandwiching me between them both. I’d drifted in and out of sleep for hours, comfortable and completely at peace with lying around with the two of them.
I have no memory of the two of them getting ready for bed or Gabe moving onto the floor and as I carefully step around him to get to the door, I decide that we need to figure something out because he can’t keep sleeping down there.
When I get the door cracked open, the hallway light almost blinds me and I’m sure I look terrible as I blink and squint at Gryphon. He looks perfectly awake and put together, except for once, he’s not dressed in his usual attire of jeans, a jacket, and biker boots. Nope, there he is in shorts, sneakers, and a hoodie.
He looks delicious.
“Wha— what time is it? Is the world ending? Why are you here at the ass-crack of dawn looking like that?” I croak, and he glances down at himself but doesn’t comment on it.
“I’m taking over your training. Go get dressed in your workout gear, we’re going for a run.”
I groan, because why— why?!— but I do as he says, trying to move quietly around the room. He holds the door open and watches as I disappear into the closet and then when I come out and murmur to Atlas where I’m going.
I don’t want him assuming anything or giving Gabe shit about being on the floor, so I crouch down to him as well, attempting to wake him up but when he snores through it, I just kiss his cheek and head back over to Gryphon.
His eyes are a little too intense for me this early in the morning but, as always, he doesn’t say anything, just leads me to the elevator and then out of the manor.
It’s still dark out and I’m a little worried about ending up flat on my face on the asphalt but Gryphon doesn’t seem so concerned about it.
“Keep up, I don’t want you getting lost.”
I huff and roll my eyes at him. “Well don’t forget that your legs are twice as long as mine and I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
He takes off and sets a brutal pace, I’m sure as punishment for my smart mouth, but there’s no better way to get me to follow orders than by suggesting I’m incapable of doing something.
I’ll keep up with him if it fucking kills me.
It might, his breath barely changes and when we finally come across a gym and slow down, I’m gasping and sputtering like a fish out of water. I think I can taste blood. That’s bad, right? Fuck, my lungs have probably just exploded in my chest and I’m about to die out here.
Gryphon stands there and watches me gasp for air for a second before he says, “This is where we’ll be training. From now on, you’ll meet me here at five each morning.”
Five in the morning.
He’s got me awake and running down here for a five a.m. start? I’ll murder him. Fuck the consequences, I’m scrambling his brain. Except my gift is also exhausted from the run, or a little in love with the sight of Gryphon’s ass in those shorts, because even with how bloodthirsty I’m feeling, it’s oddly absent.
Maybe it’s picking favorites.
Gryphon leads me down the path towards the gym and then uses a swipe card to get in. He hits the lights and I get to take the space in while he walks around opening it up and getting the AC running. It’s on the smaller side, but all of the equipment is brand new and in great condition, everything is high end and meticulously laid out.
It’s exactly the type of place I’d imagine Gryphon working out.
“Get on the mats and stretch out, we’re going through your stances and control issues today. Once I’m sure you won’t lose control and fry me, we can move on to more advanced training.”
Stretching sounds lovely and I all but collapse onto the mats. I’m thorough about actually doing the stretches though, I learned that shit the hard way after my first TT class when I’d just gone home and then couldn’t walk without crying for three days.
He watches me, critiquing me and making adjustments to what I’m doing with a blank face. He’s so hard to read, impossible really, because he’s so goddamn calm and calculating. He just watches my every move and then makes his assessments.
“Alright, that’s enough. Up and show me what you remember of your stances. Your foot positioning needs some serious work.”
Still, I keep my mouth shut. What’s the point arguing with someone who actually knows what they’re talking about? Plus, he’s not being intentionally cruel… he just has no idea that hearing that I’m inadequate from any of my Bonds is literal torture and that I’d rather die than continue this.
I start working through the stances Gabe had talked me through as Gryphon strips down to just his workout shorts, his chest already glistening with sweat from the run over here, and immediately my bond fills my brain with all sorts of prohibited ideas. Prohibited because there’s no way I can shove him back on the mats and run my tongue up his pecs, grab a fistful of his hair, and shove his face between my legs and—
‘What the hell are you thinking about? Your bond is humming right now.’
I blanch and turn around on the spot, groaning and smacking a hand over my face. ‘It’s your fault! My bond is a whiney, horny little bitch and you’re waving a goddamn red flag at it right now. Put a shirt on!’
I cringe, cursing my fat mouth for just blurting that out, but then he starts laughing and I’d like to just die now, please and thank you. There’s nothing quite like telling your Bond that you’re thinking about fucking them and having them laugh in return.
Fuck this.
I can totally find my way home.
I make it one step before he hooks a hand around my elbow and drags me back. “You’re not getting out of this just because your bond is acting up. Move into the next stance.”
I want to kick him in the nuts and run for the hills but instead, I just grit my teeth and do as I’m told, muttering under my breath, “No, it’s fine. I love being laughed at. This is fine.”
He scowls at me and tells me to adjust my stance, walking around the mats barking out more orders until he reaches a duffle bag over by the weight machines and bends down to grab a shirt.
I don’t know whether to be relieved or furious that he’s covering up, but it sure does help my concentration.
He doesn’t let me leave for a full hour of working through those stupid positions and when we’re done, there’s no choice but to run back to the manor together.
The sun is up and I do my best to actually take notice of where we’re going so I have a chance of getting back here tomorrow. Gryphon doesn’t say anything else to me and when we get back to the manor, he heads to the opposite side of the house as where my room is.
It takes me three attempts to get back to my room and I start to think that maybe the walls here move as well, because how can it be this freaking hard?!
I have to knock on my own bedroom door because I forgot to grab the keys, but Gabe opens the door for me with a smile that drops when he gets a look at me.
“What the hell happened to you? Shit, did you run into Nox on the way back up?”
I huff and stalk past him towards the shower, avoiding Atlas’ eyes from where he’s pulling on a jacket by the bed. “Nope, thank God. I just got humiliated by a man who gives zero fucks about my feelings. I played nicely, I didn’t deserve that shit. Excuse me while I drown myself in the shower.”
Hot water fixes most things, and when I step out to brush my teeth in front of the mirror, I force myself to watch my reflection and take everything in. The silvery strands of my hair falling in wet clumps over my shoulders now that the lavender rinse has washed out again. The bags under my eyes because my body has been pushed too much lately and I need to try to sleep a bit better soon. The paleness of my skin that is worse than normal.
No wonder they all find it so goddamn easy to steer clear of me.
I’m a mess.
I give myself the time it takes to blow-dry my hair to wallow in self-pity and then I put on a brave face to walk back out and get dressed. All I need now is for Atlas to charge downstairs to beat Gryphon up over my honor to really make this day something special.
No thanks.
I step out of the bathroom wrapped in my towel again but this time, neither of them react as I duck into the closet to get changed. I pull on panties, jeans, and a bra easily but when I go looking for a sweatshirt, I find that they’re all gone.
All of them.
I panic a little, my bond causing chaos in my chest, and when I tug open the drawers, I find them there. All four of Gryphon’s sweaters and hoodies, folded neatly because the maids have washed them.
I burst into tears again.
This shit is getting fucking ridiculous, why has my gift turned me into a blubbering mess?
“Sweetness, if you’re not decent, you need to grab something, and fast, because I’m coming in there,” Atlas calls out and I barely get the towel lifted back up to my chest before he ducks into the closet with me, his eyebrows pulled down tight. “What’s happened? What’s wrong?”
I hold the hoodie up but I have no words left. Nothing.
Gabe steps into my view, more hesitant than Atlas, but still just as concerned for my mental state. Jesus, they’re stuck with a crying, murderous, monster Bond.
Atlas glances back at him and says, “Give her your shirt.”
Gabe scowls at him for a second and then glances over to where I’m sitting, still miserable at the sight of Gryphon’s washed and neatly folded sweatshirt. I’m surprised Atlas figured it out that quickly but he’s been too attentive from the word go.
Gabe swallows and then strips off his shirt obediently, handing it over to me and then watching with a kind of awe when I tug it on over the towel before letting it drop away, taking a deep breath, and letting my bond calm the hell down in my chest.
“I’m sorry—” I start but Atlas cuts me off.
“It’s the Bond. This isn’t you, Oli. It’s your bond wanting us all to stay close to you since we’re not Bonded. Don’t cry, we’ll fix this.”
Gabe’s eyes flare and he blows out a breath, running his hand through his hair and tugging at the ends a little. He looks as messed up as I feel about it, but at least Atlas is thinking clearly.
“Okay. You know where everyone’s rooms are, right, Ardern? We need clean, but worn, shit from them all. We can ask Gryphon, but get shirts from the other two, shit that’s easy for her to hide under sweatshirts and hoodies from the rest of us,” Atlas says, immediately going into protective Alpha mode and for once, Gabe takes it on the chin, nodding and rummaging in his bag for his football jacket to pull on.
I eye it off because that one looks cozy too, but it would also come down to my knees, so it’s not exactly practical.
Gabe gives him a nod and then turns back to me. “I’ll grab them. I have another idea too, but I’ll sort it out, Bond.”
Fuck, I hope so because this feeling in my chest is unbearable.
I need to get out of this fucking house now.
