‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Lucas asked from the other side of the bathroom door.
‘I’m fine, go away. I don’t want you to hear me puke,’ I said, with my head hanging over the toilet. I woke up feeling very nauseous this morning. I attribute it to the hot dog I ordered yesterday. Never order the hot dog.
‘Rose, let me in. I don’t care about hearing you puke, let me be by your side,’ Lucas begged from behind the locked door.
‘No way, it’s disgus-‘ my sentence was cut short by my vomit. The nausea faded lightly after I had spilled the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I flushed, rinsing my mouth out in the sink before brushing my teeth. I opened the door to find a very worried Lucas.
‘I’m fine. It’s probably the hot dog I ate.’
‘Lay back down. I’m taking care of you today,’ he commanded, making me smile lightly.
I loved it when he took care of me. I did as he said, because being in bed sounded nice, especially with this nausea. Lucas brought me crackers, ginger ale, and water. He had me lay down as he unpacked his things, making this his home too. It was crazy to me that this was our home now, but God if I wasn’t so extremely happy about it.
‘How are you feeling now?’ He asked me, when he finished unpacking all his clothes.
‘Better, thankfully.’ The nausea had died down quite a lot thanks to the crackers. The ginger ale helped, too. Lucas kissed my forehead tenderly, sitting beside me in bed.
‘Good, now stay resting, and tell me what you like to do when you’re feeling sick,’ he demanded. I could tell he was asking because he wanted to do that for me.
‘Eat chicken broth and watch movies. I like to watch romance movies, or animated family movies.’
‘Sounds perfect. I’ll be right back,’ he said, jumping off the bed and running down the stairs towards the kitchen.
The smell of broth in the air let me know he was warming it up for me. It was a comforting scent, bringing me a nostalgic feeling. I watched him through the railing, smiling at the fact he was mine. I know I am very lucky to have Lucas. I am not sure what I did to get a guy like him, but I am glad it happened.
‘Here you go, my Rose.’ He gave me a warm bowl.
He didn’t come lay down next to me like I had assumed he would. Instead, he set up a projector and hung a white sheet a couple feet away from the foot of the bed. He turned on the projector, showing a romantic movie on it before coming to lie beside me. I drank my broth and watched the movie with him happily. He held me close once I finished eating. Everything felt right at this moment.
‘I have some bad news,’ Lucas sighed. I sat up so fast it caused floaties in my vision as my head spun for a moment.
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked worriedly.
‘I have to go on a cabin vacation with my mom and Lisa during Thanksgiving break. Lisa chose the dates when we gave Mom the gift. I’m so sorry, Rose.’ He sounded so sad as he spoke. He couldn’t even look at me. I grabbed his face, making him meet my eyes. I kissed his nose and smiled down at him.
‘Don’t be sorry. It’s important you spend time with your mom. Enjoy every moment of it with her. I’ll be fine. I think maybe I’ll drive back home and take the chance to check in on my dad’s girlfriend and the baby.’ I think it would be a good idea. I definitely don’t want to be here alone without Lucas.
‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’ He asked, probably worried about me seeing my dad.
‘Yes, I’ll be fine. I won’t stay with him. Instead, I’ll stay at a hotel around town. I kind of miss the place.’ He didn’t seem convinced by my words, still holding a deep concern in his eyes. ‘I promise, I will be okay. I won’t go to his house when he’s home. And I’ll go to check on the baby then stay away from either of them. I’ll avoid his hangouts and his house when he’s there. Trust me, I know how to handle my dad. I’ve been doing it for a long time.’ I reminded him with a gentle pat to the cheek.
‘Be careful, Rose. I don’t need you getting hurt again.’
I nodded my head, remembering the hard sting on my cheek the last time I saw my father. I swallowed down the emotion, laying back down beside Lucas. As usual, his arms carried my troubles away, allowing me to relax and nap on his chest. When I woke up, he was deeply immersed in my sophomore year journal.
‘What part are you on?’ I asked him, startling him just the slightest as he hadn’t noticed me wake up.
‘You went laser tagging with Ian for the first time. Of course, he let you win.’ Lucas shook his head. I think he’s developing a deep- seated jealousy of Ian, which is not very healthy.
‘Uh, he didn’t let me. I won fair and square, thank you very much.’ I stuck my tongue out at him, making him laugh.
‘Sorry, my mistake. You totally won fair and square.’
‘Damn straight.’ I straddled him on the bed, grabbing the journal from his hands and placing it on the bedside table.
‘I was reading that.’ He smirked at me.
‘I have something better for you to do.’ I leaned forward, kissing those delicious lips of his. My teeth caged his bottom lip, sucking on it as I pulled back from his face. My hands slid up his torso until they landed on his face. I gripped at his jaw, bringing him closer to me. His hands grabbed my hips, holding them tight as I continued to kiss him hungrily. My tongue explored his mouth as he did the same.
His hands trailed up my back to my bra strap, unclasping it in one smooth move. My shirt was shot off me and thrown to the side without a care. Our clothes were shed quickly as we continued to kiss. My body was hungry for him, as it always is. The feeling and need to have him in me has not died down this past month. In fact, I dare say, it’s grown.
Lucas grabbed my legs, dragging me to the edge of the bed. He didn’t waste time entering me, pumping in me quickly. His tongue licked from my navel up to my clavicle as I arched my back in pleasure. He licked at my neck next, sucking on it enough to surely make a mark appear there tomorrow. When he was satisfied there, he trailed down to my breasts. He feverishly left marks on me, littering my torso. The possessiveness of it had me feeling more pleasure than I thought it would.
‘You’re all mine, Rose,’ he whispered in my ear. He placed the back of my knees on the inside of his elbows, holding them up to my chest, essentially turning me into a ball. This position granted him deeper access to me, intensifying the pleasure that pulled inside me. I moaned loudly, only causing him to take me faster.
‘Yell my name, Rose.’ He gripped onto my ass, spreading my cheeks apart. Not exactly sure why, but it made my pleasure escalate until I felt ready to burst.
‘Lucas!’ I yelled as I came over him.
‘Fucking perfect,’ he told me, before kissing me so lovingly as he came deep inside me. ‘I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you yell my name.’ I blushed at his words, feeling a little self-conscious of the way I say his name in the midst of my orgasms. I know he’s always liked it, he even named himself as the man who makes you scream on my phone. There’s no lie there.
‘Good, because I can’t seem to stop screaming it when you fuck me the way you do.’ I admitted.
‘Round 2?’ He asked.
Lucas’ P.O.V.
Rose was in class right now with plans to eat lunch with Hailey later. I’m taking this time to read her journals, and then hang out with Leo. Work is taken care of, having stayed up late to get it done. I hated losing time with Rose, so I have started to work at night while she sleeps. I’m awake then, anyway.
I decided to read inside the small cafe on campus that Rose and I had visited one morning. This used to be my favorite spot to get work done when I was attending here. The smell of coffee is soothing and has always helped me to focus better. I opened up Rose’s journal almost to the end of her sophomore year now.
Thankfully with Ian around, she was able to handle high school better. She was still picked on, or messed with, but Ian was always by her side to comfort her or defend her. I do think Rose’s first love is not her ex Julius, but this Ian guy. I hate to admit it, but I am a bit jealous of Ian. He was able to rescue her back then. I wish I could have. I wish I could go back in time and save her from her misery.
Dear future me,
He’s moving. The love of my life is moving!
I hate today. I hate life. I hate everything.
He told me his parents are being sent overseas for business. He’ll be moving to London for a while. He swore we would keep in touch…we both did. There’s no way I’m going to lose him as a friend. I’ll write to him as often as I can.
I really wish I had a phone. We would be able to talk whenever we wanted, but Dad’s never seen the point in me having a phone. He says it’s a waste of money. I think I’m the only high school kid without one. I’m certain I’m the only one without a computer or internet either. The only way for Ian and I to stay in touch is through the good old fashion mailing system. Which will take for-freaking-ever.
If ever there were a time I wish I had a phone, it would be now! I feel my heart is breaking into a million pieces. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to watch the most amazing thing in my life leave. High school is going to be unbearable without him here.
Do we still talk a lot with Ian now? Is he still our friend?
A very disappointed Past You
So that’s what happened to Ian. He moved. It wasn’t that they had a falling out, or some kind of argument. It wasn’t that Ian was secretly a dick. No, it was circumstances outside of their control that separated them. What would she do if he suddenly entered her life again? What if they one day run into each other? Would she fall for his charms? Would she leave me for him?
‘What’s got your panties in a bunch?’ Leo’s voice snapped me out of my inner spiral.
‘Why you, of course, you’re so hot, Leo,’ I joked, because I refuse to voice these insecurities. I know they’re irrational.
‘Mhmm.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Seriously though, what’s up with you?’
‘Reading her journals and getting mad at her dad. She told us her childhood was hard, but she didn’t go into specifics. It’s killer, Leo. I hate knowing that man raised her.’ I shook my head, with my hands gripping the journal tightly.
‘I can only imagine. I hate that she didn’t have this beautiful upbringing like I had hoped when I asked for her life story. Honestly, I think that’s why you guys fit so perfectly. You have shared trauma, and as such, think in a lot of the same ways.’
‘You think so?’ I am sure he’s right, but I had never thought of it.
‘Definitely. You’re both dark and twisty.’
‘So what are you, then? Dark and bendy?’ I laughed.
‘No, I’m light and airy.’ He smiled.
‘You should be. You deserve to be light and airy.’
‘Don’t go getting soft on me. This is usually when you tease me.’ He arched a brow at me.
‘I know that. I just…’ I sighed, pausing for a moment. ‘I want you to be happy, Leo. I feel so lucky to have Olive in my life, but then I see you and feel kind of guilty, you know? I want you to find your person, too.’ Leo kicked my shin under the table, making me lift my leg up fast, causing me to hit my knee with the table.
‘Ow, what the fuck, Leo?’
‘Quit feeling sorry for me and enjoy your happiness. Of all the people I know, you’re the one that deserves it. I’ll find my person. I’m only 19, I have time. Maybe I’ll have some fun for a little bit, and gain some experience like you did.’ He wiggled his eyebrows at me, making me crack a smile.
‘Oh? Am I your role model, Leo?’ I laughed. Teasing him has always been my favorite thing to do. It’s how we show we love one another, cracking jokes at the other’s expense.
‘In fact, you are.’ His confession caught me off guard. I assumed he would joke or tease me. Instead, he made me feel important.
‘Then, as your role model, let me tell you a secret.’ I leaned forward, looking all around us like someone was listening in. Leo leaned forward as well, getting closer so he could hear me better. ‘I’m the best lay there is, so if you want to learn from the best, you’re gonna have to sleep with me.’ I blew him a kiss with a wink, causing him to roll his eyes. I laughed at him as usual.
‘Ass,’ he muttered, but I could see the corner of his lips trying to fight off his smile.
‘No, but seriously, don’t go having too much fun. It gets old fast and only makes you feel lonelier.’ I added, being serious for once, because the last thing I want is for Leo to go down the same path as me.
‘Don’t worry, you may be my role model, but I’m not looking to be exactly like you. I like myself better.’ He winked, making me smile playfully at him.
Leo’s always been easy to talk to. Someone that has always made me smile. I love playing around with him, and spending time together. He’s the closest friend I have. The one who understands me better than even my own family. I hope that he’s happy. I know taking over his father’s business has been hard on him. I can see it starting to suck away his soul. I need him to find happiness somewhere to counteract it. I need him and Rachel to finally admit their feelings. How did I not notice it before? Another reason why I love my Rose. She’s so attentive.
‘When you are ready to find that girl, let me know. I’ll help you.’ I offered, having Rachel fully in mind.
‘I don’t know if I want any of your sloppy seconds.’ He arched his brow.
‘Never. Don’t want them to compare us.’ I winked at him, joking around as always.
‘Asshole,’ he muttered, kicking me under the table again.
‘We need to get back into soccer. You still have a mean kick.’
‘They’re reserved just for you. I’m not interested in soccer. It was always more Johnny’s sport than mine.’ My chest tightened at the recollection of John’s brightly smiling face on the soccer field. He was a teammate I could always count on. Our passes were flawless, with little words needing to be said. We knew each other’s moves and plays, almost as if we were in each other’s heads.
‘Yeah, he was pretty fucking amazing.’
We grew silent, a sadness falling about us. I know we were both living in the memories of John right now. I can’t imagine how much Leo misses him, being his actual brother. John has always felt like a brother to me, too, but it’s different. I know he’s left a hole in each of us. One that’s been hard to fill.
‘Okay, enough with this sadness,’ he said, shaking his hands in the air as if he were blowing the sadness away from us. ‘Is there something you want to tell me about where you’re living now?’ He arched a brow knowingly, making me give him a big grin.
‘I may have moved in with Rose.’ I wiggled my eyebrows at him.
‘Are you serious?’ He sat up quickly, leaning forward over the table. ‘You guys have only been dating like a month! That’s insane.’ He shook his head.
‘It may be insane, but it’s right. It feels right for both of us, so screw what everyone thinks is a normal timeline. I know I found the woman I want to be with, so why bother waiting?’
‘Lucas,’ he said my name in a concerned tone. ‘Be careful. That’s moving extraordinarily fast, and I don’t want either of you to get hurt.’
‘I won’t hurt my Rose. I’ll only help her grow.’
‘I hope so.’
We ate lunch together, talking about stupid stuff. He was playing some new video game he wanted me to try. We talked about the new night club we want to go to. He even mentioned the new drink he concocted, which I plan to never drink. I learned from my mistake last time. Leo makes the most delicious drinks you don’t even realize there’s a shit ton of alcohol. The next morning, I had the worst hangover of my life.
‘I better head off to my class. Tell Liv I say hi. Let’s go out this weekend, all of us.’
‘Sounds good.’ I gave him a hug before he ran off in the direction of his class.
Another hour till my Rose is back in my arms.
