I over-thought about my outfit about a million times. Not wanting to dress up for a hookup, but also not wanting to look like a slob. Deciding on something to wear felt like an impossible task until Hailey entered the room. She gave me a sweet, sleeveless, dark blue sundress which was both cute and casual. It was just right.
There was no need for me to do my makeup, since all we would do was have sex. I kicked myself in the ass when I realized I had showed up early. The traffic was lighter, causing me to be early. Lucas opened the door, shirtless, with damp hair, clearly having just showered. He looked hot as hell, as usual.
I caged my bottom lip between my teeth, admiring his chiseled abs and tattoos. The heavens must have sent this man down with how damn handsome he was. His sexy smirk was ever present as he reached for my hand, pulling me into the apartment. The moment the door closed behind me, he pinned me against the wall beside it. He leaned his face down, a few inches away from me. The feel of his breath fanning across my face sent my heart thundering against my chest.
‘Couldn’t wait to have me, could you?’ The raised brow on his face showed I had inflated his ego. I shrugged my shoulders.
‘Not necessarily.’ Our eyes never broke apart, captivated by one another. He let out a laugh as he stood straight, letting my body cave in disappointment when he stepped away.
‘I see,’ he said before walking away towards the kitchen.
My lungs strained as I tried to take a deep breath to calm my nerves. Did I upset him? Trailing him into the kitchen, I watched him put a dish in the sink. As he rested against the counter, he turned his body towards me with his arms crossed in front of him.
‘How do you want to do this, Rose? What are we?’ His questions caught me off guard. Is this him making sure we are on the same page? Does he think I’m trying to trap him or something?
‘I don’t know, hook up buddies?’ I shrugged my shoulders. ‘You’re a much needed distraction. I’m here to let you do what you want with my body, as long as you make me scream your name the way you do.’
I struggled to keep the warmth from rising to my cheeks, trying to avoid a blush. I had never uttered such words in my life, and it made me feel so out of place. My hands moved nervously behind my back as I avoided eye contact, instead focusing on the pattern of the tiles on the counter.
‘Are you sure? You’re willing to let me do whatever I like to your body as long as it brings you pleasure?’ He took a step closer, making me feel slightly intimidated. I know there’s still a lot I don’t know about sex with my limited experience. Lucas has a ton, which made me feel inferior. I was eager to learn all I could from him, to determine what I like and don’t like, so I had to allow him to take control. Even if I am not convinced it is the right thing to do.
‘I’m sure,’ I spoke confidently, finally lifting my head to meet his eyes. The look he gave me made my stomach swirl with butterflies in anticipation. He had the look of a wolf ready to consume its prey, and I wondered whether giving him absolute power over me may not have been the best decision. Inching closer towards me, he removed the towel from his shoulders and cast it onto the counter. His powerful arm came around me, gripping my waist and holding me tightly against his chest.
‘Don’t worry, Rose. I’ll bring you all the pleasure imaginable. No other man will come close to making you feel the way I do. You won’t be able to look at them without thinking of me,’ he promised, making me shiver with his words.
I swallowed hard, feeling way over my head right now. Lucas slid his hand down behind my thigh, lifting my leg up and wrapping it around his torso. His hand carefully slid under my dress, securely grabbing my exposed thigh as he leaned me back and tenderly kissed me with his burning lips. His kiss filled me with an intensity I have never felt before, and as he squeezed my thigh, his fingertips dug into my skin. Without breaking our kiss, he picked me up, wrapping my other leg around his torso.
As I embraced him, I placed my hands on either side of his face, deepening the kiss and squeezing my thighs tightly around him. I thought he was taking me to his room, but I was mistaken. Instead, he took us to a room I hadn’t been in before. He pushed me against the wall of the dark chamber, lifting my wrists above my head as he fiddled with something above me. It was difficult to make out what was happening, but I could feel something encircling my wrist before it was let go. He did the same to my other hand, making me realize he had tied me up.
My heart raced with the thrill of something new. I was nervous, but mainly excited as I wondered what he planned on doing to me. He slowly released my lips and moved his mouth down my neck, planting gentle kisses on my collar bone before tugging my strapless dress and bra down. His hands slid all my clothes off me in one fluid movement. I was fully exposed, standing against the wall, gripping the binding around my wrist, needing something to hold.
Lucas stepped away from me, turning on a dim lamp as he opened a drawer, returning with a toy I had never seen before. I swallowed hard again as excitement and nervousness swirled together inside me. My core became warm as I envisioned the many things he would do to me. With the muted light, I could make out the curves of his face, his expression one of ravenous hunger.
He licked my chest up to my neck, forcing his tongue into my mouth. His lips gave me the hungriest kiss yet. I felt out of breath as he pulled away. He ran his finger over my slit, reveling in the wetness pooling in my folds. The slightly cold silicone of the toy slid between my wet folds as he rubbed it outside of me. It vibrated when he turned it on, circling it around my clit with a teasing motion. Never breaking eye contact as he did it. He watched me closely as my breathing picked up.
‘You’re so damn sexy, Rose,’ he whispered into my ear as he sucked on my earlobe for a second. He inserted the vibrating toy inside of me, surprising me as he used it to pleasure me. He pulled the toy in and out of me, sliding it out to rub against my clit. His pace was slow, teasing me further. The pleasure grew inside me, leaking out between my thighs. ‘You’re dripping wet for me, Rose, but I haven’t heard you moan once. Don’t hold back on me,’ He instructed me, making me realize I had been biting my tongue this whole time.
He quickly inserted the toy inside me again, causing me to gasp. He then kneeled down in front of me, flicking his tongue over my clit. I couldn’t hold back anymore, and moaned emphatically, as he wanted. I saw him smirk with pleasure as he continued to flick his tongue over my bundle of nerves. My back arched in pleasure as he sucked on it, causing another louder moan to escape my mouth. My hands gripped onto the binds harder as I swayed my hips. Lucas moved the toy inside of me as he continued to eat me. Eventually, he pulled the toy out, having it vibrate on my clit as he inserted his tongue inside of me instead.
‘Fuck Lucas, don’t stop.’ I moaned as I felt myself getting close.
He quickened his pace and applied pressure with the toy on my clit. It didn’t take long for me to fall over the edge with a high-pitched moan. Lucas licked it all up like he’d been starving. His lips glistened with my pleasure as he looked back up at me. He slid the toy further back, reaching my ass. My cheeks puckered, never having had anything near them. The toy slid between my ass cheeks, with the slickness of myself, on it.
‘Relax, Rose.’ I heard Lucas tell me as he felt me tense.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself about having a toy near my rear end. When Lucas noticed my muscles were still tensed, he sucked at my throbbing clit, making me moan. I focused on the sensation, letting my body turn into a puddle in his hands. He rubbed the toy around my puckered hole before slowly inserting it inside me. It felt uncomfortable as hell at first, but Lucas kept me focused on the pleasure he was giving my clit. After a moment, I had gotten used to the feel of the slim, small toy inside my ass. Lucas left it vibrating in me as he stood up, taking his pants and boxers off.
His enormous shaft stood at attention, making me lick my lips in anticipation. My arms were still high above me, keeping me from grabbing onto him. My legs wrapped around his hips as he lined himself up with my entrance. He pushed inside me, making me feel full between the toy in my ass and his dick in my front. His quick thrusts made me yell with pleasure. The vibrations from the toy with Lucas’ thrusts had me reaching my next peak quickly.
‘Lucas!’ I yelled his name as the waves of ecstasy crashed over me. He didn’t stop slapping into me, taking the hardened bud of my nipple in his mouth. His hips swirled in a circular motion, wiping around the walls of my core. I felt him hit a special spot, making me quiver over him. He pounded into me harder and faster than before.
‘Tell me only I have ever brought you this kind of pleasure, Rose. Yell my name again,’ Lucas spoke in his sultry voice as he continued, causing waves of pleasure to flow through me.
‘Only you, Lucas.’ I moaned as I swayed my hips over him.
It was true. I know I have only had two sexual partners, but I know even if I had more, Lucas would probably still have been the best one. His experiences gave him an upper hand over the rest. He wasn’t afraid to experiment, and he had no shame, which made you feel less self-conscious. I didn’t feel ridiculous or judged by him. He wanted to bring me pleasure anyway he could. He quickened his pace inside me, feeling me getting close again.
‘Come with me, Rose.’ He whispered in my ear, causing goosebumps to erupt as I came, tightening my walls around his shaft. I felt his warm seed spurt deep inside me at the same time.
‘Lucas.’ I let his name slip from my lips as I came crashing down. Lucas quickly untied my hands and removed the toy from my rear, as everything felt fuzzy. My head was spinning in pure ecstasy, but I saw stars as I went limp in Lucas’ arms.
‘Shit,’ I heard Lucas swear under his breath before everything went dark.
My eyes felt heavy as I stirred. My hands rubbed against the silky material of the softest sheets I’d ever felt. This was not my bed. I knew as much, but I could not remember where I was before I went to bed. The smell of his cologne wafted into my lungs as a powerful reminder of where I was and what had taken place. I was in Lucas’ bed alone. I found my phone on the nightstand, checking the time to see it was 1 o’clock in the morning already. I grabbed the sides of my head as I sat up, feeling it pound. My head throbbed, and my arms felt so sore. Lucas quickly appeared at my side.
‘I’m so sorry, Rose. I went too far.’ He bit his lip anxiously, looking me over. ‘Here, take this, and drink the whole glass.’ He handed me some painkillers with a tall glass of water. I took it, chugging the refreshingly cool liquid after.
‘What happened?’ I asked him hoarsely.
‘Your blood pressure plummeted after the high I brought you. I am sorry, Rose. I got carried away.’ He looked so riddled with guilt as he watched me.
‘Are you kidding? It was amazing.’ I smirked at him. I didn’t want him to feel bad because of my inexperience. Honestly, what he did was incredible and I wouldn’t mind doing it again. Some of the worry faded from his face as he chuckled. His intense eyes softened on me for a moment.
‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.
‘Fine, aside from a headache.’ I shrugged, looking around the room for my clothes. When I couldn’t find it, I looked at Lucas again. ‘Where are my clothes? I need to get going.’
‘Rose, no. It’s late and you need to rest before you move.’ he said sternly.
‘It’s fine. Hailey can come get me, and she’ll watch over me,’ I assured him. It would be better for me to stay here, but I know it will only muddy the waters again. I have to remember this is only for sex. Sleeping here won’t help me keep focus on that. Lucas looked sad, but in the blink of an eye, it was gone, making me wonder if I had imagined it.
‘Fine, but I’ll drive you home and make sure you make it inside,’ he told me sternly.
I nodded my head, mainly because I didn’t want to bother Hailey this late. Even if this whole thing was her idea. He disappeared for a moment, coming back with my clothes. I got dressed with him, watching the entire time. He pulled a shirt over his sweatpants, looking comfortable and yet still so sexy. I will keep a mental picture of him in sweats and store it next to the mental image of him in his suit yesterday. Lucas held his hand out for me to take, but I shook my head. Holding hands seemed too intimate.
When I didn’t grab his hand, he placed his arm around my waist, grabbing my hip on the opposite side. He held me firmly, making me realize he wasn’t wanting to hold my hand. He was trying to give me something to hold in case I felt faint again. I bit my lip, feeling guilty as he walked us out of his apartment. We made it to his car with no trouble. I still felt a little lightheaded, but it was small.
The car ride was silent and uncomfortable. I felt like I should say something, but I wasn’t sure what. Lucas must have been feeling the same way. I think he still felt guilty as he bit at the back of his finger on the arm resting on his door. He looked so handsome even when he was worried. His face was serious as he drove. I could tell he was trying to think of something to say, too. We reached the apartment building without either of us being able to exchange any words.
Lucas opened my door, helping me out. This time, I took his hand when he offered it. He gave it a squeeze when I did. He appreciated the fact I accepted it this time. We walked in silence to the elevator, but by then I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to say something or I would lose my mind in this quiet. I wasn’t the only one feeling this way, as we both spoke at the same time.
‘I’m sorry I-‘ He started.
‘I truly enjoyed-‘ We both laughed at each other.
‘Don’t feel guilty, Lucas, and please don’t apologize. I enjoyed myself and I would hate to have it ruined with a memory of you feeling guilty over it,’ I told him, not able to look him in the eyes as I did. He grabbed my chin, gently lifting it until I met those intense chocolate eyes. He leaned down, kissing me so tenderly. It wasn’t like the kisses we share when we have sex. It was sweet and gentle and had my feelings mixing up again.
‘Thank you, Rose. I’ll do better next time,’ he whispered to me as the elevator doors opened. He walked me to the penthouse door, watching me unlock it and enter.
‘Goodnight, Olive.’ I heard him say as I closed the door.
I leaned against the door for a moment before I turned and looked through the peephole. I saw him in the elevator, leaning back against the gold rail. He looked sullen as the elevator doors closed. I sighed, trying to shake the need to comfort him.
It’s just sex.
‘Have you made an appointment yet?’ Mom asked me as I sat on her bed, eating the jello she told me she couldn’t stomach.
‘It’s the weekend, mom. Doctor’s office isn’t open,’ I reminded her.
‘Promise me you’ll call first thing tomorrow.’ She looked so concerned as she met my eyes.
‘I promise. Don’t worry, Mom, I’ll get it done.’ She nodded her head, closing her eyes again. She looked exhausted today, but any time I would offer to leave, to let her rest, she’d wake herself back up. I didn’t want her to wake up and not find me here.
‘I’ll be right back, Mom. I’m going down to the cafeteria to get something else to snack on. Keep resting.’ I kissed her forehead before leaving. It took me a good minute to find the cafeteria, getting lost in the hospital about a million times. Why are hospitals so hard for me to navigate? I pushed open the doors, finding a couple of things that looked rather good. I paid, but as I was about to leave, I heard a familiar voice call my name.
‘Olive?’ I turned to see Leo sitting at a table by himself near the doors. I furrowed my brow at him, not expecting to see him here.
‘Leo?’ I cocked my head to the side.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked me as I walked towards him.
‘Visiting my mom. What about you?’
‘Visiting my dad.’ He looked down for a moment.
‘Is he okay?’ I asked, feeling something was wrong.
‘We’re pulling the plug on him today,’ he explained, crushing my heart.
I placed my things down on the table, grabbing his arms and making him stand. He furrowed his brow at me for a moment, but I wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. I felt him melt into the embrace as he wrapped his arms back around me. I held him close for a while, knowing he needs more than this, but it was the only thing I had to offer.
‘I am so sorry, Leo. I had no idea.’ My voice barely carried in the air, with my head resting against his chest.
‘It’s okay. Thank you, Olive.’ He sighed. ‘He’s been on life support for a year now, but there’s no improvement. Mom finally decided it was time,’ he explained.
‘I am so sorry,’ I said again, sounding like a broken record, but what else is there to say? He squeezed me for a moment before letting me go. I let him go too, but neither of us stepped back, keeping the space between us small.
‘Is your mom okay?’ he asked, and I wasn’t sure how to answer. I didn’t want to tell him she had cancer. He has his own problems to worry about today.
‘Leo, it’s time.’ I heard a familiar voice call from the silver double doors. I turned to see Lucas in the doorway, looking at his phone.
‘I’m coming.’ Leo told him, making Lucas look up. Confusion, worry, and guilt crossed his features quickly.
‘Rose, are you okay? Are you still dizzy?’ He took a step towards me, stopping himself as he saw Leo.
‘I’m fine, not here for me. Don’t worry,’ I assured him, turning my attention back on Leo. ‘I’m sorry, Leo. I’m here if you need to talk.’
He nodded with a sad smile. He wrapped his arms around me again, hugging me one last time before leaving. Lucas hung at the door for a second longer, watching me for a moment before he followed Leo. I picked my things up, heading back up to mom. Leo stayed in my mind. I’ll be in his shoes soon. Mom doesn’t have much time left. When I arrived, they told me her condition was declining, and we would be lucky if she made it through the week.
Every free moment I have I’ll be spending here with her. I will only leave her side to go to class. I may even skip a couple this week. Like my English class and perhaps the easier math class I have. A heavy sigh left me as I wondered how anyone deals with losing a parent. I’ll have to check in on Leo tomorrow. I am glad he had Lucas there for him. It’s important to have people around you when you’re going through something major.
‘Ew, mom, no!’ I laughed as she tried to tell me the story of my conception. ‘No, child should ever hear how they were made.’
She laughed with me, causing her to cough hard. I poured her a glass of water, and she took it with shaky hands. I went to my morning classes today, but my mind had stayed on mom, and then on Leo. Honestly, I was so distracted. It was like I hadn’t attended class at all. I emailed my professors and let them know what was going on. They were all very understanding and compassionate, giving me my assignments ahead of time. I was working on one as mom and I spoke.
‘What about you, sweetheart? Do you have a special boy in your life?’ She raised a brow.
‘Not exactly.’ I blushed, thinking of Lucas. How would I describe him to mom?
‘Oh? Who did you just think of?’
‘His name is Lucas,’ I admitted. ‘But he isn’t interested in a relationship, at least not a serious one.’
‘Are you? Wanting a serious relationship?’ she asked, curiously. I just nodded my head.
‘Yeah, I do, but not yet.’
Mom and I spoke for a while, where I told her all about Julius and what had happened. We spoke about how he took my virginity to me, catching him cheating on me. Mom joined me in trash talking him until we were laughing again. She coughed every time we laughed. It was breaking my heart to see her this way. She rested her eyes after our talk, feeling exhausted. I hated seeing cancer eat away at her body. I finally got her back to only get maybe a week with her. There’s too much to talk about, to fit it all into one week.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, snapping me from my depressing thoughts. The name flashing on my screen made my chest hurt.
