“How is it so fucking hot?” Cam whines as she peels herself from the bleachers and begins packing up her books.
“Sitting on these plastic seats doesn’t exactly help. I’m a pile of sweat.”
“We should make the boys put a canopy up for us.”
“Because they have time to do that before practice.”
She laughs, knocking my feet from the back of the chair in front of me, so she can pass. “True, but can we talk about why it’s still so hot and we’re officially in October? I mean, what the hell is this shit? We’re in Southern California, for fuck’s sake.”
“It’s the metal and the turf and the sun. You know this. Step into the shade and it’ll drop a solid fifteen degrees.”
“Which is why I suggested the canopy.” She smirks. “K, bye. My professor wants me at the child development center to meet some of the parents at pick-up today.”
“You’ll be home tonight?”
“Yep. See you later.”
I wave and lay my book on my chest, closing my eyes to bake in the sun’s soft glow.
I’m not sure how much time has passed when the clacking of cleats against cement meets my ears.
I shield my eyes with my hand and squint at the approaching figure.
“You trying to get a sunburn?!” Noah shouts from a few rows down.
I still can’t see his face but sit up in my seat with a smile. “No way, the sun and me, we go way back. She’s good to me.”
Noah chuckles, and as he climbs the next two stairs, he finally comes into view.
He’s red in the face, dripping with sweat and… ridiculously attractive.
He smiles, swiping a hand through his slick, dark hair, and the soft, sun-made highlights show themselves.
“What are you doing up here, come to watch me?” he teases.
“Ha! Sorry but been doing this for years. I guess you’re simply a bonus.”
His shoulder pads lift and he winks. “I figured as much, considering I spotted you up here weeks ago.”
“Did you now?”
He only grins, so I tap on the book covering my chest. “Me and Cam started coming out to their practices back in high school, so we carried it over once we got here.”
“Nice.” He nods.
“You guys done for the day? It’s a little early.” I peek at my phone.
“Yeah, we doubled on film this morning, weight room right after, so it was more a run day today.” He grabs the towel tucked into the back of his pads and wipes it along his brows. “Worked up an appetite though.”
I grin. “Is that right?”
“It is.” He cocks his head. “Feel like helping me cook again tonight?”
I drop my feet, lowering my book to my lap. “And what help was I to you last time?”
“You helped me eat it.” His lips curve up on one side.
A laugh slips from me, a little too loud apparently, because I catch the attention of several of his teammates as they head into the tunnel, and of course, Brady and Chase are among them. They both stop, their eyes darting up and over to where we’re standing. Subconsciously, I sink into my chair.
Noah catches my movement and glances over his shoulder, nodding his head as he turns back to me.
I want to shrink into myself, embarrassed by my childish reaction, but as I look to Noah, not a hint of judgment slips over him, quite the opposite really.
Noah’s soft smile has me releasing a breath, the understanding glint in his gaze leading me to admit, “I hate it.”
Noah’s lips twitch. “I know you do.”
“Practice is over, Arianna!” Chase yells still standing in the same spot, but my eyes are on Noah, who turns his head to hide it, but not before I spot the frown that’s slipped over his face.
Forcing myself to look toward the tunnel, I spot Mason a few feet back. He’s following behind his team, pulling his shoulder pads from his body as he walks, and when he looks up, he spots Chase’s standing there. Mason’s eyes follow his line of sight to Noah and me. He frowns, hesitates for a split second, but then nudges Chase’s shoulder from behind to get him to move.
They disappear from sight with their next steps taken.
A sign escapes me, and I push to my feet, unable to bring myself to look at Noah.
“I don’t think I’ll be good company tonight. Rain check?”
“Rain check.” Noah speaks without a hint of displeasure. So why does a heavy sense of disappointment weigh me down?
It’s not until later that night when I’m rummaging through the freezer that I realize the disappointment I felt earlier… was my own.
“God, damn,” Cam drawls slowly. “That man is flawless.”
We sigh, look to each other, and bust up laughing.
“Seriously, Ari. You need to jump all over that.”
I smile, watching as Noah does the same, but his is directed toward a beautiful blonde girl who is walking toward him with what looks like a plate of cookies.
Something in my stomach stirs, bringing a small frown to my face.
“Who is that?” Cam wonders.
I shrug, noting the graceful way in which she moves, like a floating prima ballerina. “The Sleeping Beauty to his handsome prince.”
“Mm-mm, no. You got it all wrong.”
Quirking a playful brow, I turn to her. “Do tell?”
“Sure, the man may look like a prince, and by the way, it’s Cinderella’s man who has dark hair, not the prudy SB chick.” I laugh, and she continues, “Anyway, yes, he’s all pretty and shit, but under all the gorgeous is an animal. Has to be. He’s far too fine to be tame.”
Cameron sits back on her elbows, smirking my way. “Bet he comes alive in the bedroom.”
“Shut up.” I laugh.
“I am so not playing. I bet he morphs into another man, giving that best of both worlds’ vibe.” She thinks on it a minute. “Yeah. He doesn’t have sex; he love fucks.”
I gape at her, and simultaneously, we laugh again.
“Okay, enough before he hears you.”
“I’m telling you, he’s a beast, and you’re the closest thing to Belle I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Let’s ask.” She quickly jumps to her feet and my eyes shoot wide, my hand snapping out to wrap around her wrist, but she opens her mouth before I can jerk her back.
“Yo, Noah!” she shouts, and my face turns into a tomato as he—and the ballerina—turn their smiles on us. “Quick question, but no questions, only an answer, yeah?!”
Noah shifts his eyes to me quickly then back to Cam. “Let’s hear it!”
Cameron throws a wink at me over her shoulder, turning back to Noah just as fast. “Sleeping Beauty or Beauty and the Beast?”
He looks my way, my skin igniting as his gaze burns across my face, attempting to decipher Cam’s nonsense. Quickly, almost unnoticeably fast, Noah’s eyes cut to the girl beside him, and then they return to me. Now I might be reading into nothing, but I also might swear he follows the length of my long brown hair until it disappears over my left shoulder.
I pull in an involuntary breath as he turns his grin to Cam.
“Come on now. Don’t make me say it.”
His response is very, very Noah.
My lips twitch.
Satisfied, Cam drops back down, whispering through her teeth, “You realize he totally caught onto that right, like, he picked up what I was putting down?”
“Quit biznatch, you don’t know for sure,” I whisper-hiss.
“Dude, Ari. It’s cute that you’re pretending otherwise. Now, be discreet, but look at him.”
“No.”
“Please,” she begs. “Bet you a lipstick he’s waiting for you to.”
“Fine, but I get to pick it out.”
“Deal.”
I sit back, running my fingers through my hair to try and appear nonchalant as I glance his way. Unfortunately for me, I freeze, visibly so, and the man… who is totally looking at me, catches it. Ever the gentleman, he licks his lips to hide his grin, and my skin threatens to give me away, but then I realize that’s not all.
“Oh my god, you bitch, he’s walking over! With the girl!”
Cameron’s head falls back as she laughs. “This keeps getting better. He’s about to clear shit up, watch.”
“Shut up.”
“You’ll thank me.”
“You’re an ass.”
“You love me.”
“Hey.”
Our heads dart toward the newcomers, a big fat fake, embarrassed smile plastered on my face, a legit entertained one on Cam’s. “Hey!” we say in unison, and I fight the urge to ram her ribs with my elbow.
“Cameron.” He hardly looks her way.
“Noah.” She sits back, propping herself on the palms of her hands.
Noah’s dark hair is mostly hidden under his hood, his blue eyes brilliant against the heather gray color. Slowly, he pushes it off his head.
“This is my friend Paige.” He nods toward the beautiful little creature beside him.
I don’t have to look at my best friend to know she smirks with satisfaction.
I lift my hand in an attempt to wave, but she steps forward, wrapping me in an unexpected, light hug, before taking her place again, right at Noah’s side.
“It’s so good to meet you, Ari.” She folds her hands behind her back. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
My brows shoot up, and I search for the right words, but my brain is stuck, so I laugh to cover my nerves.
I peek at Noah and he gives me a playful wink.
“It’s nice to meet you, Paige.”
Paige smiles, showing more perfection. “We should get together sometime.”
Uh…
I smile.
She turns to Cam. “It’s nice to meet you too, Cameron. I hate to leave right away, but Sundays are kind of crazy for me.”
My eyes dart toward her.
So both she and Noah are ‘busy’ Sundays?
Noah clears his throat. “I’m going to walk her out to the parking lot.”
Paige smiles, waving as they begin to walk away. “I hope to see you again, Ari.”
We hold our smiles in place until they’re gone, and then turn to each other.
I glare.
Cam scrunches her nose. “Maybe she’s gay?”
I groan and stand.
“He likes you, Ari,” she tells me.
“Shut it, Cam.” I walk away.
“Don’t act like you don’t care!” she shouts.
I flip her off, heading over to the row of community coolers, and grab a water.
Being Sunday, it should be family dinner tonight, but since the team had a bye week this week, the football house held what we’ve been told is their annual cookout. They invite family and friends and anyone else they don’t get to see regularly, and it’s a giant potluck-style hang out at the edge of campus. Thankfully, the boys were all about counting this as our meal date.
After a few small sips, I make my way over to my brother, who is manning one of the many grills. “Hey brother.”
“Hey sister.” He glances at me then back at the chicken he’s flipping. “Having fun?”
“I am.” I glance around.
“Good.” He picks up his beer and takes a drink, eyeing me over the neck of the bottle. “You doin’ okay?”
My mouth opens, but I clamp it shut, offering instead a small nod.
“You sure?” he prompts.
“I… ” I sigh, caving a little. “I had a tough couple months, but I’m feeling better now.”
“Better, or a little better?”
“Depends on the day.”
His features tighten at my honesty, and his shoulders fall. His brown eyes search mine. “If something was wrong, if you needed me, you’d tell me, right? Even though I can be an ass sometimes, you’d never not come to me if you needed me?”
“If I needed you, when I need you, I won’t hesitate, you know that,” I answer him quietly and truthfully, and the corner of his mouth lifts. “But maybe it needs to be said that sometimes, there will be things you won’t want to hear, and those will be the things I decide not to share.”
His jaw tightens, and he looks away, but when his eyes come back to mine, they’re soft. “That’s fair.” He nods. “I love you, you know. More than anyone.”
I smile and lean in to hug him. “Yeah, Mase. I know.”
The sorrow in my tone is accidental, but he hears it. My brother simply doesn’t understand it, which is why he’s frustrated with me.
He has no idea he dug a Hoover Dam sized hole between Chase and me because I didn’t tell him we leap without looking. He knows something, but he doesn’t have the slightest clue how deep that something runs. In his mind, everything he does related to me stems from protection, but what he’s very, very slowly beginning to understand, is we’re not children anymore. Some things he can’t and shouldn’t shield me from.
Regardless, only a fool would push the blame on Mason.
He might have been the one to blow out the match, but Chase is the one who tossed it in the ocean.
That was a decision he had to make, to push me away or pull me closer, and he decided to push.
And that’s okay.
If there was one thing I wish he and I had, it would have been the opportunity for us to figure out together we weren’t meant to be. Maybe then I could have worked up to the point of understanding, without all the mess.
It sucks to hurt for a man you never even had.
The pain within me makes itself known at random, and that pain stems from a love that never even lived. One that never had a chance to flourish.
It’s that feeling of being robbed that stings more than anything at this point, but if there’s a positive to take away from this experience, it’s that growth can only come from heartache.
How else are you supposed to discover what you truly want?
What you refuse to let go of?
What you deserve in a partner?
I don’t think you can possibly know without the hurt to force your hand.
I want someone’s all.
I want someone’s all and absolutely nothing less.
Chase couldn’t give me that and maybe I should be thankful he realized before things got any deeper.
Maybe that’s my way of finding an excuse for a shitty move.
I sigh, stepping back.
“Ari,” Mason calls, sensing my retreat. “I miss hanging out with you. Stay?”
With a squashed smile, I wrap my arms around my brother, and as I look over his shoulder, the universe decides to test me.
My eyes lock with golden-brown ones.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I pull back, flicking the tray of cooked meat. “Should I take this to the tables?”
“If you could.” Mason nods, turning back to the grill.
On my way toward the rows of food, I catch Chase’s eyes from across the yard once more, but this time, I’m the one who looks away.
A hand slips in front of me, nudging a bowl of pasta out of the way, and I lower the mountain of chicken onto the tablecloth.
“So your brother got the cooking gene,” Noah teases.
I nudge him with my arm, pinching down the edges of the tinfoil. “How hard can it be to flip chicken?”
“Who knew that’s all there was to barbecuing?” he jokes. “Flip it and you’re good.”
I cross my arms and face him with a playful glare.
Noah chuckles, his gaze flicking in the direction I plan to ignore. “I have to go, but I wanted to say bye first.”
“You didn’t have to come back just to tell me that. You could have texted me.”
He nods, his blue eyes searching my face. “I don’t get a whole lot of free time on the weekends, but maybe you want to do something during the week? The cooking lessons are still on the table.”
“That’s because you haven’t seen how bad I am yet.”
“I’m taking that as a yes.” He smirks. “So, this week, right?”
I bite back a smile, nodding.
“Good, ‘cause I was going to keep asking until you said yes,” he adds, making me laugh.
Noah glances past me once more as he shuffles back. “I better go.”
“I want you to stay.”
He freezes for a second, before a bright smile takes over his face and he laughs, forcing mine to slip free. “Your jukebox plays all genres.”
“Yes, it does.”
Noah takes a step toward me, and as he comes closer, his eyes, a little darker than their usual blue, hold strong on mine, and suddenly, I’m not so sure I’m breathing.
It’s confirmed I wasn’t when a low gasp fills my throat as he presses his lips to the highest point of my cheekbone. They skim along my skin, maybe by mistake, as he pulls back, but either way, the heat of his lips burns all the way down my neck.
Noah gently squeezes my bicep, and then he walks away.
My eyes refuse to leave the back of his head, and only do when my bestie comes up and hip checks me.
She tears open a bag of chips and throws one at me. “Sleeping Beauty my ass.”
