Jesus. What the hell am I doing?
Bianca had made the plan sound like a piece of cake, except she forgot to mention her parents are complete assholes. No wonder she is willing to have a sham marriage.
I should walk the fuck away from this dysfunctional family without another look back.
The rational side of my brain, warning me that this is an unnecessary complication. That it was a mistake coming here. I shouldn’t give a fuck and stick to my decision that I told Bianca last night.
But I just fucking can’t.
She has got her claws inside me yet again. It’s etched so deep, that there’s no pulling them out, consequences be damned.
Because when it comes to her, I’ve never been rational. It isn’t even in the spectrum of feelings she makes me long for. Only a twisted obsession that aches to consume her alive and me with it.
Her vulnerability triggers a deep seated impulse to be her hero when I’ve only ever been the villain.
A monster hidden in plain sight.
Her inevitable downfall.
Staying away is as much for her sake as it is for mine, yet I can’t not help her. Not after witnessing firsthand how badly her uptight and demanding parents treat her. Disbelief, I expected, even a bit of anger at finding out, out of the blue, that their daughter is engaged, but not so much vehemence pouring from them. Their pride was way more important to them than her happiness.
I guess Bianca and I have a lot more in common than I thought.
The pain and sadness radiating from her was plain as day and when I saw her shoulders slump—the movement barely noticeable—from my periphery, I wanted to wrap her in my arms. And I’m not even an affectionate type of man.
I destroy and burn those around me.
I don’t do soft things, yet I was willing to for her.
Because her behavior is jarring and so uncharacteristic to the Bianca I’ve come to know. My kitten has a backbone and fire. She’s fierce and compelling.
In one fell swoop, my decision was made and sealed. I understand now more than ever her resolve and urgency to go through with this insane plan. If I wasn’t convinced already, the temptation to take her parents down a notch undoubtedly did.
Bianca’s stunned gaze hits the side of my face while I glare down at her mother, whose hand flies to her mouth.
“I don’t like anyone upsetting my fiancée.” My voice is cold. “Which is all you’ve done since I sat down. When you’re ready to talk calmly, call us. But know this, I am going to marry her, with or without your approval.”
“No daughter of mine is marrying without her family by her side,” her father grunts, who has been silently assessing whether or not I’m worthy of his daughter.
He is going to search for everything there is to know about me the second we leave. Once he does, he’ll be calling me himself. Because I did my research, too, before coming here and I wasn’t surprised when I learnt he wants to marry Bianca into a family which will also benefit his business empire.
Something I can tell Bianca isn’t aware of.
Meeting his challenging stare, I reply, “I suggest you make up your mind soon before it’s too late.”
“We’ll talk about this later, Bianca,” her dad says, making her body go rigid.
“Let’s go, kitten,” I whisper softly in her ear.
Her gaze flits to her mom who turns her head away and it takes all of my strength to not curse at the arrogant woman.
How can she treat her own blood this way?
I lead Bianca away from their table and she mutely follows. I don’t say a word, sensing she needs space to gather her courage. I stiffen when she tugs her hand from mine and murmurs, “I need to go to the restroom.”
Without waiting for my reply, she wanders to the back but not before I witness a tear drop down her cheek. I push my hands in my pockets and pace back and forth while telling myself not to go after her.
I don’t need to keep up the act of a loving fiancé when we’re alone. No need to tangle myself more into her mess than absolutely necessary. Maintain my distance.
Despite all these thoughts running rampant in my head, my feet carry me toward her.
Like I said, rationality out the window. Nonexistent.
The corridor is empty near the restrooms and not giving a fuck, I blaze past the door into the women’s room. I come to a halt when my irresistible obsession comes into view.
She stands alone in front of the mirror looking so small and sad. Her shoulders, shaking slightly in silent sobs. The pain is so strong she doesn’t even notice my presence for the first few seconds. It’s when I click the lock in the place that she stills and looks up at my reflection.
Those pretty eyes widen before she hastily hides them beneath her hair while fingers push her tears away.
“Dash. Go away.” A hiccup in her voice.
I stride closer and turn her around. When she doesn’t put up a fight, concern flares inside my chest. Pushing her hair back until her stunning face isn’t hidden, I tilt her chin up with my fingers. She closes her eyes, lips pressed together while I rub those tears away.
Despite us being in the similar position in the past, a tremor racks her body like she doesn’t expect softness from me. Only difference is, she didn’t carry such baggage on her small shoulders.
Could it be because she’s still heartbroken over Niall? It can’t be. Seven years is a long time to be stuck over the first breakup. She has to have moved on.
My heart is incapable of loving anyone.
Her words ring in my ear, leaving a chill in their wake.
“Dash,” she whispers when I stay quiet for too long.
I squash down my stinging emotions and the memories that surface as I stare down at her. Thick black eyelashes flutter slowly around red-rimmed eyes yet it doesn’t take away from her beauty. She’s like one of those women who look prettier after they cry, cheeks tinged with a blushing hue, nose and lips slightly pink.
Or maybe I’m biased.
I don’t reply to her and lean to my right to grab a tissue paper, wet it slightly under the water, and bring it to dab under her eyes. A little bit of mascara spills from the corner and I clean it without smudging it further. Her cheeks darken even further, and her lips part as her eyes roam over my face.
“Wow… Got nothing to say? No insulting remarks or threats,” she teases. “Don’t tell me my parents left you scared.”
Her attempt at lightening the mood doesn’t suppress my rage. “You don’t want my opinion, kitten.”
“Your scowls betray your thoughts, Dash. Might as well say it out loud.”
I throw the dirty tissue into the bin and crowd her against the counter. Her palms lay flat on my chest, curling into my shirt. “Your parents are selfish pricks and don’t give a shit about you. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were adopted. ‘Cause it’s the only explanation that makes sense as to how you’re related to them.” Her jaw drops at my harsh words and I arch my eyebrow. “Liking my thoughts now?”
“They love me in their own way,” she mutters. I can’t tell who she is trying to convince.
“They made you cry.”
“Angry and frustrated tears.” A small shrug. “The topic of marriage is kind of a touchy one.”
“I think they have lots of expectations and don’t like it when you go against them.”
“I’m their eldest daughter. So, of course, they do.”
“It’s neither healthy nor right,” I bluntly say. “Burdens like these only end in one way. Your soul crushed and the feeling of never being enough because you’ll never be able to live up to their expectations. Especially if you put your own happiness first.”
Her stare sears me when I inadvertently reveal too much, immediately regretting it. The empathy in her eyes feels like we just crossed a boundary. There was a time I yearned to let her in, and allow her to see the parts I kept hidden beneath my rough exterior like she’s doing now.
But we’re seven years too late.
I may still crave her, obsess over her, but I don’t want her in my life any second longer than necessary. While we’re together, I’m going to sate my craving for every inch of her until it’s quenched.
Claim her tight little body in every obscene, filthy way. And as many times as I want.
Lure the kinky seductress in her out to play until she’s ruined for other men.
Then as soon as our little arrangement is over, I’m going to be the one to walk away from her life.
With my heart and secrets intact.
