Bianca was put on this earth to be mine.
To breathe life into my cold, dead heart.
Only this time, I’m not letting her go without a fight. I might have walked out on her that day but I never intended to be gone forever. And if I have to spend an eternity begging her to take me back and give me one last chance to prove we belong together, I’ll do it with a smile on my face.
Our past may have been built on lies and secrecy but our future will not be tainted by their ghosts. She knows all my deepest sins, my ugliest scars, and darkest fears, so, if she still hasn’t kicked me out yet despite knowing it all, it gives me hope that maybe I stand a chance.
It might be small but when you’ve survived through a dark never ending tunnel, it might as well be as bright as the sun. I’m going to grab and hold on to whatever she’ll give me.
Because living without her isn’t a possibility.
I thought I knew what the darkest times for me would be like, but I truly understood its meaning in these past six months that I had to spend alone. Without her. My world. My kitten. My wife.
A goddamn paper isn’t going to decide our fate. In my heart, she became mine the moment she propositioned me to be her fake husband.
“I’m not letting you back in my life again,” she spits out angrily and crosses her arms. “Certainly not for a job you don’t need. I’m going to give it to someone who actually deserves it.”
I can’t keep the smile from my face because her anger is better than the shell of a girl I turned her into when I left. It would have killed me if I was the reason who made her lose her fire. But I’m glad that’s not the case, because the defiance always perched on her cute nose.
Of course, I’m not surprised because she may doubt herself but she is the strongest woman I know. The most beautiful.
The moment I had found out she moved to another city and all her stuff was gone from our apartment and hers, it was like a permanent dark cloud had appeared over my head, locking me in darkness. All I knew was she was gone and I didn’t know where she went.
The knowledge of not being able to see her, possibly forever, was too hard to bear and I had slipped into a hellish phase. My nights were spent in a drunken stupor because it was the only way I could sleep without waking up in a nightmare.
I survived living with a lonely family.
I survived reliving Niall’s accident.
Through the guilt.
But the mere idea of losing the one good thing that ever happened to me and knowing I sabotaged it because of my mistake was too much and it pushed me over the edge. Had Justin not found me and been there to talk some sense into me, I don’t know what I would have done. It took me a month to get my life in order.
I had so much to repent for and a lot of healing before I could be the man Bianca deserved.
A few days after Niall’s accident, I had confessed everything to his mom. Because after all the efforts she made to include me in the family, I couldn’t lie to her. I told her about his breakup minus the cheating part, our fight and that I sabotaged his relationship by sleeping with her which led to him chasing after her that night. She had kicked me out and told to never return in her life.
Over the years after my career took off, I secretly helped by taking care of Niall’s medical finances and bringing the best doctors to help him. However, none could fix his condition. The damage was too severe and it was highly unlikely he would ever wake up.
This truth was the hardest one to accept.
Some nights, I still blame myself and probably always will.
I should’ve known my stepmother will put two and two together with my involvement in the charity. I regret not keeping my part anonymous but my name alone helped bring others to give to the charity. It was easy enough to find she had sneaked into the gala by saying she was my stepmother after she found Bianca was going to there through media.
She wanted to ruin me like I ruined Niall’s life.
And she succeeded by taking the only person who ever loved me unconditionally. Except this time, I wasn’t going to wallow in self-pity. It took months but eventually, I was able to let go of the guilt enough to realize you can’t control everything in your life.
I knew it was time to win Bianca back, even if it meant going to the ends of the earth.
I wasn’t losing her again.
Her best friends were the only two people who knew where she moved but they hated my guts and it was understandable. I deserved it. They were loyal to a fault and wouldn’t help me. But I wasn’t going to let her go just like that. So I went to her office, hoping they might have a clue, but it was a dead end until I ran into her boss, Zara.
She came in like a godsend and I don’t know what she saw but the woman told me where my Bianca had gone. And on the next flight, I was here. Except, finding the city she lived in was only the first obstacle. Her boss had made sure the work was cut out for me. It took another few months of searching through every interior designing company in the city, and that was full of dead ends. Until it hit me one night that I was doing it all wrong.
There’s only one reason why Bianca would leave her dream job: to make her dream a reality. The same day, I found my sweet kitten.
She didn’t see me when I came here the very next day, but when I first laid my eyes on her after all these months, I finally breathed air into my lungs. I swear, time had stood still like it does in those silly rom-com movies as I soaked up every inch of her. Just catching a glimpse of her is like a dying man’s last wish come true.
Her hair was longer, skimming the top of her ass, which swayed enticingly with every step as she skipped to her building on the sidewalk. However, the first thing I noticed was the weight she had lost and that her cheeks looked sunken as though the weight of the world was on her shoulders. It broke my heart.
The guilt swam back with a vengeance. I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was the reason she had to start over in a new city. After all, this was the second time I made her run from the ones she loved.
I vowed it would be the last time and that I would fix everything if it’s the last thing I do.
So here I am, shooting my shot. Her anger is a sweet balm, letting me know her spirit is as strong as ever. I would’ve never forgiven myself if I had broken it.
“The door is behind you. Leave,” she orders, forcing my attention to fixate on her. “And don’t ever come back.”
The rejection stings but I don’t dare to move. I’ll take every punch with a smile because the more she does it, the more alive I feel. Like she resurrected me back to life.
“I was told the boss is pretty sweet,” I quip teasingly before wincing, “Didn’t know you’d be biased and kick a man when he’s already down.”
Her eyes flare with the same fire she aimed at me the first time we met. One hand falling to her hip, she retorts, “You deserve it.”
“I do.”
“Then leave.”
“I’m only here for an interview.” I try another tactic. “If you think I’m not qualified, I’ll go.”
Nose twitching adorably in annoyance, she taunts, “Liar.”
“I will leave.” Then come back tomorrow. But she doesn’t need to know that.
We both stand in a silent stare-off where I notice the slight blush forming on her cheeks. There’s a slight hitch in her breath, and when her lips part, I can no longer resist letting my hungry eyes trail lower. As if she can feel the energy between us twisting into hotter degrees, she huffs out, “Fine. Let’s get this over with.” Turning around to go behind her desk, she mumbles under her breath, “Like his bossy ass can handle working for someone else.”
I hide my chuckle and sit across from her. The memory of fucking her on a similar desk has my cock hardening behind the zipper of my jeans. Fuck. It’s going to be painful not being able to touch her. The job, whether she gives it to me or not, is just an excuse to be close to her.
A message to let her know I’m never leaving her side.
I clear my throat when her gaze drifts to my abs and lock there. Cheeks turning pink, she flicks those eyes to mine and pretends I didn’t notice. Switching her expression to indifference, which she fails, she asks her first question, “Why do you want this job?”
“I’m in love with the boss.” I tell her the truth. Her hand flies to her chest, where a thin chain peeks through her top. She drops her hand when I stare a little too long. “I want to be in her life any way she’ll have me.”
“I’m not your boss yet,” she murmurs. The slight hitch in her voice betrays how I still make her pulse race. Stubbornly lifting her chin, she taunts, “Can you take orders?”
Keeping my face straight is a hardship. Somehow, I manage and calmly answer. “Yes.”
She gives me a look saying I’m full of shit. If only she knew I would happily obey every order she throws at me, if it means she’ll take me back. I would crawl, drop to my knees, and plead if she told me to.
“Have you been an assistant before?”
“Yes.”
It shocks her. “Really?”
“My first two internships were as an assistant at high school and my first year of college. I hated asking my father for money so once I was old enough and people were willing to hire me, I began working odd jobs. So yeah, I have experience.”
The careful and aloof mask she placed crumbles and a swirl of sorrow and longing bleeds through. For a fraction of a second, the woman who fell in love with my black soul stares back at me. Then the shutter comes down again and I hate it.
“I have all the information I need,” she declares, standing abruptly.
I slowly rise even though every bone in my body protests. My fingers twitch by my side, aching to yank her flush against me. “Is that all you want to ask me, kitten?”
“What else is there to ask?”
“Whether I thought about you every second for the past six months?” My tone is desperate and laced with pain. “Because I have. That the worst fear I ever felt was finding you gone and that every day since, I’ve spent searching for you. I miss you, kitten.”
“No. No.” She shakes her head. An empty laugh spills from her lips and her voice comes out sharp. “No words are ever going to make me forgive you. You don’t get to walk back into my life and disrupt it again. We are over.”
“You and I are the endgame, kitten,” I remind her, and vow, “we will never be over. And if I have to spend the rest of my life reminding you until you believe it, I will. I’ll do anything for you except let you go. I already did it twice, and I won’t survive it again.”
“Then I’ll prove you wrong.”
Her defiance brings a smile to my lips and I wink. “Okay. But just know, I’m as stubborn as you are and I always win. You chased me last time; now it’s my turn.”
Leaving her stunned and fuming, I walk out.
