I lean against the back of my car, waiting.
We got out of the locker room thirty minutes ago, and I drove straight here. I’m hoping she’s going to show and just got stuck in post-game traffic. I pick up the bottle of chocolate water and take a swig, hating how much I love it.
Ten minutes go by.
Twenty.
Thirty.
“Five more minutes,” I promise myself.
But when it comes and goes, my hope begins to fade, and I decide to call it a night.
I thought maybe with her coming to my games, this might be it, thought she might be ready.
I could be wrong, and it could just be wishful thinking. Maybe that damn sticky note was a stupid idea and pushed her even farther away.
I couldn’t stop myself from writing it, though.
I fucking miss her.
Seeing her at my game after Christmas, I felt hope for the first time in a long time. I felt like maybe this wasn’t all in my head, like maybe she could love me too.
Then she came back.
Again and again and again.
And each time I saw her, I felt that pull I have toward her grow even stronger. I had to do something, even if nothing resulted from it.
It looks like that’s what is happening right now.
It’s been forty-five minutes.
She’s not coming.
I shove off my car with a sigh and head for the driver’s side door. Just as I’m popping it open, headlights swing into view, and I freeze.
Then, I hear the squeal of brakes, and I know.
She came.
Her old, beat-up Toyota rattles into the lot as she pulls up next to me. I can’t see much inside the car thanks to the glare from the headlights, but I hear her door open, hear her feet hit the pavement and take quick steps toward me.
She steps in front of the light, and everything in my world feels okay again.
She’s as beautiful as she’s always been. Her hair is a little shorter, hitting just above her shoulders now, and somehow her hazel eyes look brighter than they ever have, but she still looks like Scout.
My Scout.
“Hello,” she says quietly.
The corners of my mouth twitch. I take a step toward her.
Her breath hitches when I do, so I take another.
And another.
I don’t stop until I’m mere inches away, until I can smell that all-too-familiar scent of sugary sweetness coming off her.
“That’s all I get?”
That’s all it takes.
I have no idea who grabs who first. All I know is our mouths are fused together, and I feel whole for the first time in over a month. Her body presses against mine, and I grip her waist, holding her closer because I’m so fucking scared she’s going to disappear, and I’ll wake up, and this will all have been nothing but a cruel, cruel dream.
I’m not sure when we stop kissing, but we do eventually. We don’t move, though. We stand there, holding on to one another, our lips still resting against each other.
“Miller…” she says quietly. “I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” She pulls her head back to look at me. “I was so dumb. I was so scared of getting hurt that I didn’t let myself even try with you. You trusted me. You opened up to me. You let me in. You gave yourself to me, and I just pretended it was nothing. I made you feel like it didn’t matter when it did—when it meant everything. And that stupid book…” She laughs. “I swear it wasn’t about us. It was just a silly writing exercise. I…” She shakes her head. “I’m just so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Scout.” I press my lips to her forehead. “It’s okay.”
“How can you say that, Miller? After the hurt I put you through, how can you say that?”
“Because I love you.”
“You…do?”
I laugh. “Are you kidding me? Of course I do. You’re…” I exhale. “You’re everything, Scout. I waited so long to have something that felt good, something that made me happy and woke me up from the same shit I was doing over and over. It turns out I was waiting for you.”
She peers up at me, her eyes brimming with tears. “I was there the whole time, Miller.”
“I know,” I tell her, running my thumb over her cheek. “I know you were. I’m so sorry I didn’t before, but I see you now. I see you, Scout, and I’m never letting you go.”
“Good, because I don’t want you to. This time without you… I missed you.”
I grin. “I knew you would.”
She laughs, shoving at me playfully. “Glad to see you’re still annoying.”
“I’ll annoy you forever if you’ll let me.”
She sighs, resting her head against my chest. “That sounds…nice.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She nods then peers up at me. “I, uh, did some soul-searching while we were apart, and forever doesn’t scare me anymore. Not with you.”
Fuck, her words hit me right in the chest. I needed to hear them so much more than I expected.
“I’m glad because forever with you doesn’t scare me either. You weren’t just an experiment, Scout. You could never be that.”
“I know. I’m so sorry I said that. And the book…it was stupid. I wrote something way better.”
“I know. I read it.”
Her eyes widen. “You did?”
I nod. “Even the sex scenes.” Red tinges her cheeks, and I laugh. “Don’t be embarrassed—they were hot.”
She tries to bury her face in my chest, but I don’t let her.
“Don’t hide. I loved it, truly. Are you going to publish it?”
She lifts her shoulders. “I’m not sure. I think I want to, but I don’t know the first thing about publishing.”
“I’ll help you,” I tell her, and I will. I don’t know shit about it either, but I’ll learn for her. “And if you want to submit it to agents, I’ll help you with that too.”
She grins. “You’re really something, you know that?”
“I’m the best kind of something.”
She sighs, dropping her head to my chest. “You really are.”
I have no clue how long we stand there with her wrapped in my arms and me not letting her go. However long it is, I know it’s not long enough, because it never could be.
“Hey, Grady?” she says after a while.
“Hmm?”
“I love you, you know.”
“I knew you couldn’t resist me.”
“Ugh,” she groans, trying to shove out of my grasp. “Shut up, Miller.”
I tug her back to me, cupping her face with my hands. “Make me.”
She presses her lips to mine…and she does.
