I blinked my eyes open. It was still dark and at first my surroundings were unfamiliar until I heard the crashing of waves. But I thought I heard someone curse. I came awake further and something in the darkness moved.
A shadow rose from the chair by the window. “It’s me.”
“What the fuck!” I shrieked, sitting up and staring at the dark shape approaching until Matteo took form.
The edge of the bed dipped. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“And your answer is to break into my room and watch me sleep? That’s creepy.”
His hand reached out and brushed the hair from my face. “You’re so pretty.”
“Can you even tell in this darkness?”
“Your image is seared into my brain.”
I leaned forward. He hadn’t been drinking. He smelled faintly of the woodsiness of his cologne and mint. “Is this the obsession curse that Liz is talking about?”
“Probably.”
“I was joking.”
“I’m not.”
His answers were clipped and short. Almost a fatalistic acceptance. “Come with me somewhere.”
“Right now?”
“Yes.”
“Let me get this straight. You want us to sneak out in the middle of the night?”
“It’s almost dawn.”
“All right. But I thought we were supposed to stay inside the compound.”
“We’re not prisoners here, Sera. I’m not risking you.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I thought the security was overkill unless he was hiding something from me. Santino lost the element of surprise when he confronted us at the club. Now everyone was watching his movements and he’d be an idiot to make another move too soon.
“Okay,” I said. “I guess it’s too much to ask you to wait outside?”
He stood and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll put coffee in a thermos. Dress warm. There’s a chill in the air.”
Still baffled by my new boyfriend’s behavior, I checked the weather at this time. It was fifty-five degrees. I decided to put on a windbreaker under my jacket. If it was too warm, it was easy to shed.
I went to the living room and saw Matteo was dressed in jeans, a dark Henley, and a leather jacket. He glanced up from where he was packing a cooler.
“Are we going to picnic at dawn?”
He grinned. “I want to be prepared. Don’t want you hungry. No croissant though.”
“I’m not that high maintenance.”
He held the cooler and the thermos in one hand, and with the other, he walked up to me and linked our fingers.
I looked at him in mock suspicion. “What are you up to, Matteo De Lucci?”
“Just trust me.”
Instead of the Jaguar, we took one of the SUVs. I didn’t realize the compound had a back entrance. When we exited it, a guy from Ronan’s crew waved us through the gate. The Suburban navigated a narrow gravelly road. I realized why we couldn’t use his Jaguar.
I wasn’t sure if the churning in my gut was from anxiety, excitement, or my rude awakening this morning. Matteo lowered the windows to let the sounds of the early morning in.
Both sides of the road were thick with trees, and more than once, they reflected nocturnal eyes of creatures of the night.
“Are you telling me where we’re going?”
“Nope.” Matteo glanced at me briefly. “Am I making you nervous?”
“Not in a serial killer kind of way even though you did watch me sleep like a stalker.”
“I’m growing on you.”
I laughed lightly. “Maybe. Okay, unless you tell me how many more minutes, I don’t think I can delay my patience enough not to touch the coffee.”
“We’re here,” he said as the vehicle turned into a clearing.
Dawn light was teasing the horizon, but the stars still twinkled. It was gorgeous. Magical.
“Oh my God, Matteo,” I whispered, finally realizing what he was doing. “Are we going to watch the sunrise?”
He didn’t say anything, but made an amused sound at the back of his throat.
The SUV circled the area before backing up so the tailgate was pointed toward the ocean.
We got out of the vehicle and he opened the back while I was impatient to start exploring where we were.
The waves crashed against the bottom of the cliff. I was stoked.
The aroma of coffee hit my nose and I welcomed the steaming mug Matteo offered to me.
Good man.
“It’s going to be another ten minutes to sunrise,” he told me. “We can sit at the back of the Suburban and you can tell me the rest of the St. Rita story.”
“I was sensitive yesterday. I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat, especially since you cared enough to ask me about it.”
“You’re forgiven, but it takes more than you biting my head off to hurt my feelings.”
“Then why did it look like I pissed you off?”
“You and I both know we were heading into dangerous territory about what we can and can’t say about our family. So, why don’t you finish the St. Rita story?”
“Where did I leave off?” My memory needed to wake up with more caffeine.
“She forgave her husband’s murderers.”
“Oh, right.” I was invigorated with my first sip of caffeine. The wind blew off the coast and there was a bite to it. Matteo opened his arms and I snuggled into the warmth of his embrace. So cozy. It felt so right. As though I was made for him.
“It was the husband’s brother who wanted revenge,” I said. “It seems vendetta has always been part of Italian history.”
“So did her brother-in-law go after the murderers?”
“No, but worse. He taught his nephews to want to avenge his brother.”
“What a fucking coward.”
I rubbed my cheek against the textured fabric of the Henley.
“So he perpetuated the feud instead of ending it. Did Rita’s sons go through with it?”
“No. She begged them not to, but they were already too far gone into vengeance mode. So she prayed to God to help them change their ways. It must have worked because her sons caught dysentery and died.”
“That’s sad, but I guess…”
He let it hang.
“It’s better than being murderers going to hell.” I shrugged, taking another sip of coffee. “I thought about what you said, and unless I’m in that situation, I wouldn’t know. All I know is I love my family.”
I pushed away from him and stared into his eyes, missing the fierce blueness of them. They were inky right now as dawn light turned the sky purple. “Let’s talk hypothetically.”
A flash of his smile made my stomach flip. Damn, since when did everything Matteo De Lucci do make me swoon? I used to be annoyed by him. I didn’t know when my swoons for Daniel transferred to him. Was I so contrary with my affections that they transfer so easily?
“If anyone hurt Luca, I would go with whatever the next Don of the family wanted as payback.”
“And if they wanted to call a truce instead?”
“I don’t know how I would feel. Is vengeance mine to take?”
“Are we talking philosophically here?” he asked. “Or spiritually?”
“See, that’s the whole thing and why I’m probably the most contradictory Catholic on the planet,” I argued.
Matteo gave a huff of laughter. “I think that can be said for most crime families.”
“Right?” I said. “I could never wrap my mind around the concept, but it was almost dogmatic. We know what our family does…” I paused. “Okay, I’m not sure if it applies…but…”
“Let’s just say hypothetically…” Matteo said. “I’m equally guilty of what you think I’m guilty of.”
I had to compress my lips into a straight line and not laugh. We were trying to avoid spelling out exactly what we wanted to say. This was nothing new. I’d seen Luca talk to other families when they each wanted the other to do something illegal and the request was never direct but full of subtext.
Like, talk to Johnny, he’s having issues.
Don’t worry, I’ll have a chat with him.
Chat really meant Johnny was going to be swimming with the fishes.
“Then we should think of something to save your soul,” I said without thinking.
His grin faded. “Is that who you are, Sera?”
“I’m not sure what we’re talking about right now.”
“Trying to save your uncle’s soul.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said. “Luca is religious, but he also knows he can’t simply go to the confessional and make donations to cleanse his sins.”
“My dad once told me the men who make it to the top of the mafia…it was in their blood and they couldn’t help being a little criminal. They don’t conform to the rules of normal society. They thrive in the underworld.”
“Do you think it’s in your blood to be a bit criminal?”
He shrugged. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my family. And you, Sera? Do you think it’s in your blood, too? Is that why you’ve clung to the life of Rita of Cassia to help your family atone?”
I looked at the horizon. “The sun is about to rise and I’m not trying to avoid the question, it’s just too early for this conversation.”
Another one of his sexy chuckles made my nipples sensitive. Or maybe it was the scratchy fabric of my sweater. I’d been too lazy to put on a bra this morning. After all, I had a rude awakening. I put my coffee down and made to jump off the vehicle, when Matteo lifted me out, letting my front slide against his until my feet touched the ground.
He held me briefly in a tight hug and let me go after planting a kiss on my forehead. His hand slipped into mine and we walked to the edge of the cliff.
I didn’t know why I had a sudden flash of lovers walking out to meet the sunrise before plunging to their deaths.
Was that what Romeo and Juliet would have done if they were presented with this scenario?
And why was I thinking of Romeo and Juliet? Matteo’s family and mine were not enemies.
The horizon gleamed golden as the first rays of the sun emerged from the edge of the water.
I didn’t know why my heart pounded in anticipation.
Matteo hugged me from behind. I could feel the racing of his heart too.
“I want to tell you something…” he said in my ear.
I turned my face slightly and smiled. “You know that’s the wrong thing to say when we’re standing so close to the cliff.”
He laughed lightly. “Have I ever told you I love talking to you?”
Stop making me fall for you, please. The ocean waves crashed beneath us, but a different tempest was rampaging inside me.
The sun rose higher.
“Dad brought Mom here to watch the sunrise whenever they came up for vacation,” he said. “I think Renz brought Liz, too. Nico and I have never been.”
My heart pounded. “Why haven’t you come? This place is gorgeous.”
“My parents connected this to the De Lucci myth of men becoming obsessed.”
I wasn’t sure I was breathing. “And why now?”
“Nothing compelled me to bring any of my girlfriends up here.” He cleared his throat. “Until you, Sera.”
Oh my God, I didn’t know what to say. This storm of emotions, this bubble of happiness, seemed to crack the final wall protecting my heart.
He turned me around so we were face to face. “If this is what obsession is, or the beginning of it, then I fully commit to its madness.”
Giddiness broke through the cracks of my walls.
“Say something.” His voice rasped with…need? Impatience? Our eyes searched each other. He swallowed, his throat visibly bobbing as though those words took a lot of effort to say. I’d never witnessed such naked uncertainty on Matteo’s face. He was always self-assured.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Matteo,” I whispered. “Except I also feel something intense.” I put a hand over my heart. “I don’t know how to explain it? I’m giddy and relieved?”
“Yes.” His gaze was intent on mine, still searching, and then a smile spread across his face. “I think I understand what you mean.”
We were both at a loss for words. Only the sun breaking from the horizon and bathing our faces with its golden rays broke our locked gazes. We turned to watch it briefly. Though the majestic scene awed me, the stronger pull was from the man beside me.
I turned to Matteo. He was watching me.
“You’re missing the sunrise,” I teased.
His finger tilted up my chin. His expression was solemn.
And then he kissed me. The sun’s rays burst around us, but it was like the same light burst out from my heart with the kiss. A lightness, an acceptance of his obsession, an answer of a yearning in my own heart. An explanation of why all the small and big things this man did made my heart too big to contain inside me.
He was devouring my lips with a desperation that spoke of restraint and power. It made me just as desperate to get inside him.
When he lifted me up, my legs automatically wrapped around him. I tore my lips away, and he made an impatient sound at the back of his throat as he tried to recapture them.
“What about the sunrise?”
“We have many sunrises ahead of us,” he growled. “Fucking you can’t wait.”
Wet heat spasmed between my legs. Oh yeah. About damned time.
