“Not another word.”
Little hammers pounded away in my head. It felt like my brain was squeezing out of my skull, but it was nothing compared to the daggers digging into my heart. I didn’t know what to do with my feelings for Matteo—thinking I was so lucky to find the one. Marrying for love and not convenience. How the situation had changed quickly after not only one but two revelations.
I didn’t trust my own emotions.
Ivy was reclining in the booth. We were in Jabbin’ Java. We’d already imposed too much on Liz and Renz and had no plans of disrupting their morning by having them entertain two hungover girls. Besides, hanging out in their apartment meant watching cartoons with Samantha. The buzz in the bakery was better, not to mention the smell of freshly brewed coffee. My stomach was too queasy to take in a croissant.
I felt bad for giving Ivy a hangover, but she was such a good friend and kept up with me and my self-pity.
She peered at me over her shades. “Answer me this: Did Matteo and Nico check on us in the middle of the night?”
“Yes.”
“That’s so sweet.”
According to Renz, the brothers couldn’t sleep and went home to gather our stuff so we could have it first thing in the morning.
“Dammit,” I muttered.
Ivy waggled a finger at me. “Stay strong, my friend.”
“You said it was sweet.”
“That is one act,” she whispered. “He kept his scheme with my brother a secret all this time. He should have come clean before he asked you to marry him.”
“That’s what I don’t get.”
“Are you ladies fine over here?” Liz walked up to us.
“Don’t worry about us.”
“Hungry yet?”
I shook my head.
“Instead of a croissant, how about bacon and eggs?” Liz suggested.
I looked at the breakfast board. “You don’t serve bacon and eggs.”
“Eamonn’s does and it’s just up the block.”
My mouth salivated, but I could barely lift my head much less walk a block.
“I don’t have the energy,” Ivy whined.
“You don’t have to lift a finger. I can just tell Matteo and Nico to pick it up.”
Liz was typing into her phone when I yelled, “Don’t—”
I winced at the sound of my own voice. Ivy groaned.
“I don’t want any more favors from him.”
“Honey,” Liz said gently. “He’s your husband. It’s not a favor.”
Greasy fried food was the cure for a hangover. “Fine. But I still don’t forgive him. Please put that in your text.”
Liz chuckled and walked away.
“Well, at least no one is saying I should forgive Matteo.”
“Make him grovel.”
I huffed. “Why? Making him grovel means I’m taking him back. I don’t want to lead him on if I’m not.”
Ivy’s face fell. “But you love him.”
I stared at my coffee cup, then at the menu on the wall. Tears started forming at the edges of my eyes and I surreptitiously wiped them away with the back of my hand. Rolling my lips, I cleared my throat before saying, “It doesn’t matter now, does it?”
I shouldn’t have looked at Ivy, because once I saw the pity etched on her face, my own crumpled, and no self-righteous anger could fortify the dam of tears I’d been holding back.
Noticing my near breakdown, Ivy rose from behind the booth, teetering on her heels before getting me up from my seat. We went into the bathroom, and she crammed both of us into the tiny toilet, which was considered spacious by Manhattan standards.
“Can I castrate him the next time I see him?” Ivy said. She carried a pocketknife in her bag.
“You’re a good friend,” I hiccuped.
“I really liked Matteo, too,” Ivy said. “I really liked you with him. More than with Daniel.”
“You never liked me with Daniel.”
“Because I knew he wouldn’t make you happy. He’s too focused on business.”
“So is Matteo.”
“No, there’s something about your husband. It’s the way he looks at you.”
“Don’t say it’s love.”
Ivy sighed. “I want a man to look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m the center of his universe.”
“Matteo doesn’t look at me like that,” I whispered. If yesterday hadn’t happened, then maybe.
“Let’s make it Daniel’s fault,” Ivy said.
“You’re throwing your brother under the bus?”
“He’s cutthroat enough to think of the scheme on his own.”
“Now you’re ruining my idea of him being a doting brother.”
“I’ll ruin every idea you have of him after what he pulled,” Ivy said. “You’re my friend. I’m very disappointed in him.”
“Men are disappointing.”
“Are you going to tell Luca?” Ivy asked.
His voice from my teenage years echoed in my head. “Don’t ever cry over a boy.”
“No,” I said. “I’ll be a disappointment to him.”
“What?”
“He told me never to let a boy make me cry.”
“What kind of advice is that?”
“It’s making sense to me now.”
“No, that only closes your heart to love.”
“Why, Ivy, I didn’t know you were a romantic. You’re always so blasé about these things.”
“I’ve seen you with Matteo.”
“Well, you know now we’ve been looking through rose-colored lenses.”
A light rap on the door was followed by, “Are you two okay in there?”
Ivy and I looked at each other, then burst out laughing and immediately stopped to groan while holding on to our hungover, pounding heads. “Yes. We’ve made a pact to swear off men.”
“Well, said men are on their way, and from what I’ve gathered, they’re bringing the family.”
“Shit, what?” I whispered, clutching Ivy’s hand. “You better not leave me.”
“I won’t.”
“And if they try to make me cave, don’t let me.”
“Nope. We need an epic grovel.” Ivy gave a series of nods.
“We haven’t decided—”
“They’ll be here in ten minutes,” Liz cut in.
“Thank you, Liz,” I called.
“Okay, let’s go over his possible groveling approaches.” She grasped my hand. “Number one. I know Matteo is pushy, but don’t let him step all over you and force you to forgive him before you’re ready. Make sure he knows that shit’s not gonna fly. Number two. He needs to be sorry in actions, not just in words. Also, a bouquet of flowers is nice, but it’s so cliché. And sorry, Matteo being rich is against him. Expensive gifts are not going to cut it. I don’t care if he gifts you a whole city block or the entire Van Cleef & Arpels collection. He needs to dig deep, chica.”
“You sound more offended than I am.”
Ivy looked at me strangely as though what I said was incomprehensible. “I’m your best friend.”
My heart warmed. “Aw…”
“Oh, one more thing and this is important. If in any way he makes you think it’s your fault. And believe me, men sometimes do that when they know they’re losing an argument, then he’s an asshole. I just want you to know that’s not okay in this scenario. This mess is all his fault. Well, his and Daniel’s.”
Ivy’s eyes had clouded, and I had a feeling this was more about her than me, but before I could dwell on it, she dragged me into a hug. “You got this.”
I laughed. “I thought we did.”
“Well, for the times I’m not with you. Stay strong.”
“I’ll have your voice in my head.”
We both stared at the closed door. “Shall we?”
She gave me a thumbs up and an encouraging smile.
Then we proceeded with Operation Strengthen My Resolve to resist Matteo.
Matteo
Liz refused to rat on the women. Not that I blamed her. If ever there was a moral counterpoint to how the family did its business, it was my youngest brother and Liz. I used to resent her for that, and I couldn’t see past my guilt that I played a part in the injury that screwed up her leg.
But it was more than that.
She made my brother happy, and I envied the adoration in Renz’s eyes whenever he looked at his wife. But she was so sweet despite everything that happened to her, the resentment slowly grew to admiration and then acceptance that she was very much a part of the family.
“Now, remember, don’t be an asshole.” Mom’s voice cut through my musings. Second to Sera’s devastation at what I had done, Mom’s disappointment was making me feel an inch tall.
Dad let her rant at me all morning. I spotted the amusement in his eyes. Deception was a part of De Lucci men’s arsenal.
“I don’t know why you’re so worked up over it. Dad did the same thing,” I pointed out.
“Don’t drag me into it.”
“Like father, like son,” Nico snickered.
“You married her without coming clean about your plan with Daniel,” Dad said. “You should have told her about the shares. That’s the big one.”
“Would you have come clean to Mom if she hadn’t caught you in the lie?”
“It wasn’t a lie,” Dad said. “It was an omission.”
Exasperated, I gritted, “I rest my case.”
“Careful with the containers,” Mom cautioned. “You don’t want to serve your wife a breakfast mess.”
“It’s bacon and eggs, and it is a breakfast mess. That’s what a hangover needs,” I retorted.
Mom stopped walking and put a hand on her hip. “You can’t rush this.”
“Food is getting cold.”
“Matteo…” she warned.
“I’m not a child. I’m a man whose wife is pissed at him.” My tone was terse and I caught Dad’s warning glare. He tolerated insolence from me, but not when it was directed at Mom. Couldn’t say I blamed him. Now that I had a wife of my own, I would be protective as fuck.
“Pissed is putting it mildly,” Nico interjected.
“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” I muttered. “Maybe it’s a bad idea for you and Dad to come along. It would feel like we’re ganging up on her. I can handle this myself.” It was my fault and mine alone. My eyes narrowed. “Especially since you all seem to like highlighting my shortcomings.”
“She’s alone in this city,” Mom said.
“I beg to disagree. She’s got that hellcat as a bodyguard,” Nico said.
Mom ignored my brother. “It’s important to show that we’re fair so coming home to the house will be more appealing.”
We resumed walking.
“No one is suggesting she should sleep in another room,” I warned. “My wife sleeps with me.”
Even when their faces were turned away from me I could feel the smirks coming from the guys, and the eye roll coming from Mom.
I was antsy as fuck. I’d never had Sera pissed at me this way, and I didn’t like the feeling of not being in control.
It didn’t take us long to make it to Jabbin’ Java. Nico held the door open while Mom and I walked in.
I spotted Sera at one of the communal tables. Trevor and a few of our Arrows were joining us. Hell’s Kitchen was on red alert. On our way here, I spotted a couple of our guys keeping watch.
Renz met us in the entryway. After giving Mom a peck on the cheek, he grabbed the takeout bags from me.
“Smells good,” he said. “I’m going to re-plate them.”
“It’s bacon.” I was hoping food would put the spark back into my wife’s eyes. She was seated at the head of the table with Ivy at her side and Liz on the other. My sister-in-law nodded at the seat beside her.
My mouth tightened. Fine. It was too much to hope that I would be seated right beside Sera. Her shields were up like I’d never seen before.
I was at a loss. I was all for having it out with Sera but now I couldn’t even touch her, and I didn’t know where to start.
“Here, looks like you need coffee.” Liz filled my cup from a carafe. I wanted an espresso, but I didn’t want to seem picky.
I took a sip of the brew and winced. This tasted a lot like humility.
“Thank you.” I was in an unusual situation. This was no business deal I could finesse with words or an opponent I could bulldoze to get my way.
Sera was my wife. I set a precedent for deceit since our relationship was built on a lie.
The challenge was to convince her our marriage was real. But I was getting the feeling she already had one foot out the door. And as much as my default behavior was to take charge and tell her everything was as it was, that would be another lie.
We lost something last night.
But it wasn’t lost forever.
She was still here. I hadn’t heard from Luca, so she hadn’t told him either.
That gave me hope. The last thing I needed was for her trigger-happy uncle to interfere.
Renz set the bacon and eggs in front of Sera and Liz. For Ivy, it was French toast and bacon. My youngest brother took his seat beside Ivy and announced, “Your orders will come out soon.”
“We could’ve just eaten from the takeout containers,” Sera said.
“Oh, no,” Renz said. “It’s rare we get the family together like this. Nico and Matteo are always on a health kick, and they don’t eat greasy breakfast stuff like normal people.”
“Taking care of the six-pack, bro,” Nico bragged.
Ivy snorted into her coffee.
Nico raised a brow. “What, you don’t believe I have one?”
“Oh, please,” Ivy said. “It’s none of my business.”
“We do have Sunday dinner once a month,” Mom pointed out. “It’s getting harder nowadays with Bianca away at college, and my two boys taking over De Lucci Transnational.”
“You have more of me though.” Dad winked.
I could get a toothache from my parents’ bantering. It had gotten worse since my dad turned over the reins and seemed to be my mom’s shadow. I noticed Sera watching my parents with a wistful look on her face.
Dad whispered something to Mom and her eyes widened. “Behave, Cesar. You’re embarrassing the kids.”
“Not kids anymore, Mom,” Renz said. “By the way, your favorite grandchild is in the apartment. Good luck prying her away from her Saturday morning cartoons.”
“She’s watching too much TV,” Dad said.
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Mom replied. “All the McGraths turned out all right, right?”
“That’s debatable,” Dad replied.
“Your parents are cute,” Ivy said.
Sera looked at her friend sharply, and as if remembering that we were the enemy, Ivy stared at her plate and continued eating. That pissed me off. My family was not part of the deceit.
I sipped my coffee to rein in my chaotic thoughts. I was letting them go rampant in all directions and not in a good way.
What the fuck was I going to do?
It’s day one, asshole. Chill.
“So, what do you want to do today?” I ventured, picking up a strip of bacon from the plate that Renz’s staff lowered in front of me.
All conversation ceased at the table.
I inwardly groaned. Could my family be more obvious?
Sera’s face turned red, but she finally met my eyes. “I don’t know.”
That was a loaded answer. I ached to reach across the table and take her hand. To assure her I would make things right. For a second, her shields fell and the vulnerability on her face made my chest ache even more.
I would make this right. I would beg on my knees for her to forgive me, but knowing Sera, it would take more than that to make up for the lie.
But first, I needed to get her away from Ivy and my family so we could talk.
