“Why did we leave so early again?” We were on a private jet to an undisclosed location. Luca woke me up at four in the morning and rushed me to pack. I was barely coherent without coffee, but he seemed to be in a chipper mood at a god-awful hour, which irked me. I barely said anything to him as he bundled me and Elias into the Escalade. Martha and Tony were with us.
“I heard from your parents and they want to visit.”
“And you didn’t tell me this?” Though I was annoyed that Luca was playing gatekeeper to my family in Italy, a part of me was relieved. I was still trying to merge who I was before to who I was now. It wasn’t easy, especially the part about what I should be feeling.
“They just called last night. I told them we already had plans.” His gaze softened. “What we’re building here is more important.”
Sadness came at the heels of that statement. One of the first genuine feelings since my memories returned. “You said that to me in Paris. Little did I realize it wasn’t about our relationship.” I turned to the window. The glare of the rising sun bothered my eyes, so I pulled the shield down. I leaned back against the headrest. Bittersweet emotions and memories were all I could attach to our time in Paris. It was as though I judged that time through the events that followed. It was confusing because the weeks leading to my disappearance, Luca had been trying to make up for being a shitty husband, including the part he played in the deal with my father. I knew I was in love with him. I’d seen the love in his eyes for me and Elias, and the only barrier to our true happiness was my suspicion that he’d been involved in human trafficking. After Luca revealed the truth, I waited for my love to return.
I didn’t want to confuse lust and love. He still slept with our son in the nursery. It was the only time he spent with Elias since my memory returned. I used my son to be the new barrier between my husband and me. During one of our sessions, I asked Rachel why I was doing this. She told me it could be because I needed Luca to prove something to me. She advised me to be honest. To let Luca know my likes and dislikes, because my husband was struggling to get to know this blended person of my past and present.
I was ruthless about the flowers. A smile touched my lips.
“Finally, she smiles.”
My eyes popped open, and I turned my head to look at him. “Were you watching me this whole time?”
“Yes.” He said it in a challenging tone, like he dared me to deny him the right to stare at me.
“It’s creepy.”
“What made you smile?”
“I don’t think you’re going to like it.”
“Try me.”
I gave a brief laugh. “Okay. If you insist. It was the pleasure I took in getting rid of those damned flowers I didn’t like.”
Instead of the frustrated expression I’d gotten so accustomed to seeing on his face, Luca smiled broadly.
My brain did a stutter. “You’re not mad I did that?”
He gathered my left hand in both of his, cupping it like it was so precious to even hold my hand. “No. Because now I know peonies are your favorite.” He brought my hand to his chest. I could feel his heartbeat, and I wondered if it matched the sudden quickening of mine. Heat crept up my cheeks, and my eyes lowered to stare at where my hand was on his chest, but I couldn’t help the impish grin that curved my lips, shy and teasing.
Still with an averted gaze, I said, “I do love the chocolates. You can continue with that.”
I could feel him branding me with his eyes, so I slowly lifted my head to look, and my breath caught at the expression of tenderness reflected in them.
With a secret smile, he let go of my hand and got out of the seat. He walked to the back of the plane, and when he returned, he carried with him a box of chocolates with the signature packaging.
“Did you think I would forget to bring them?”
It was all I could do not to grab the box. Who said you couldn’t have chocolate early in the morning? I quickly unraveled the bow and opened the lid to see my favorite selection, and it triggered the same glee I remembered when he did the same thing in Paris. A flutter in my heart.
“I wasn’t expecting it.” I picked the chocolate dusted with cocoa powder and popped it into my mouth.
He gave a deep-chested chuckle. “I’d buy the entire damned store if I could get you a lifetime supply of them.”
“You would?” Surprisingly, I wouldn’t put it past Luca.
“Yeah, but these French are so protective of their craft, they don’t do franchises. There isn’t even a store in the U.S.”
“Probably because your taste buds don’t deserve it.”
“Baby, I hate to tell you this, but you’re as American as I am now.”
True, probably more since I’d spent two years in small-town America, but Danvers never felt like home to me.
“So you’re going to fly them in from Paris for me?” I offered Luca a chocolate with an accompanying coquettishness I hadn’t experienced in a long time. The old Natalya was still in there. Did I want to be that hopeful new bride again?
“I have my connections.” He grinned and took one.
And as the chocolate melted in my mouth, it dissolved the sadness I felt earlier. “Where are we going?”
“I told you, baby, it’s a surprise.”
Luca
“I can’t believe we left our son to go away for a vacation.”
We—or rather I—didn’t waste any time. Sera and Carlotta were waiting for us when our jet landed in the De Luccis’ private hangar. My niece had her one-year-old son, Gio, with her, and he distracted Elias. As expected, she and my sister bombarded Natalya with questions. They were annoyed at me for not wanting to stay overnight in one of their residences, but I’d rather face a firing squad than have Carlotta corner my wife and ask her all kinds of uncomfortable questions. I loved my half sister, but she could be overwhelming. As her brother, I could only take her in small doses, and my wife was overwhelmed by her situation as it was.
“Think of it as a honeymoon-redo,” I told her. The Morettis kept losing our women to the De Luccis. Might as well take advantage of our familial ties and use everything in their arsenal to win back my wife. They built their crime family on a strong nuclear one. I envied that.
Sometimes.
Natalya was quiet for a few seconds. We had just merged onto the Long Island Expressway on our way to Montauk. It was off-season this time of the year, and for someone like me who hated tourist spots, it was the perfect time.
“Is it just going to be the two of us?” she asked.
“It’s like a honeymoon, so of course.”
“No guards?”
“No guards. No housekeepers. We can either cook or go to restaurants.”
Glancing over at Natalya, the pensive look on her face troubled me. “Are you worried it’s just the two of us?”
She gave a brief laugh, momentarily lightening her expression. “It’s more than that. Wasn’t the reason we kind of sped up my memories’ return was so we can find out who did this to us? It seems like we’re running away from what should be done.”
I reached over to take her hand, brought the back of it to press a kiss, and kept our joined hands on my lap. It was instinctive. It felt right. “Remember what I told you on the plane?”
“That what we’re building is more important?”
“Yes. We have enemies. They managed to tear us apart. The reason they managed to tear us apart was because we kept secrets from each other.” I shot her a quick glance again. “No, don’t do that.” Her head dropped in what only could look like guilt. “We move on from our mistakes, Natalya.”
When she glanced up at me, her eyes were glinting with tears. “I’m afraid to trust you with my heart again,” she whispered. “I’ve been going over this in my mind. At that time, right before I disappeared, I was in love with you. I was thankful for the breadcrumbs you were finally showing. I was your doormat.”
If I weren’t driving, I would have closed my eyes at the pain her words invoked. “Don’t say that.” My own words came out hoarse. “I was trying to make it right. Do you remember? I asked you in the attic…the night of the dinner party. The night when you found out my deal with your father.”
She withdrew her hand from mine, and I let her. She hugged her biceps. “How can I forget?” She turned her head to stare out the window.
I decided to wait until we got to Montauk before I reminded her of all the things that were going right before she disappeared. It gave me time to brood. I was impatient, but strategic. I was glad I had that chat with Rachel so I could put my wife’s present emotions into perspective. I’d fallen in love with Natalya in Paris. I realized the exact moment. It was that time I paid attention to her favorite chocolate flavors. I could have just bought an assorted box instead of a carefully curated one. I saw Natalya take a picture of the selection with her phone. When she wasn’t looking, I forwarded that image to my phone. I deceived myself into thinking I was manipulating her emotions when in fact, I was fighting against the exhilaration that I was about to put a smile on her face. When I thought about that memory, I didn’t feel the same rush. It had been too long ago, and many things had happened between then and now. What transcended the passing of time was tragedy. Because two years down the road, every time I thought I’d lost Natalya in that fire, I still felt the twisting of the dagger in my chest. It could still trigger my nightmares.
Love faded unless one nurtured it, but pain didn’t, and whoever said time healed all wounds was a liar.
“Ohh…” Natalya breathed beside me. Her face was almost plastered to the side of the window. “This is a cute little town.”
“Sera never took you here?”
“No. I guess because that time I was with them, it was winter.”
I checked the phone mounted on the dash. “We’ll be at the house in ten minutes.”
Dom, my nephew, had forwarded me several properties. He grumbled it had been such a short notice. I gave him less than twenty-four hours. Now that made me smug. He may be the boss of one of the most powerful crime families in New York, but he was still my nephew, and I could make demands like this.
Our SUV made the turn off the highway into a narrower road. It passed a couple of smaller houses before the bigger and more secluded ones started. That was as far as the GPS would go. Dom sent me instructions on how to get there because the address didn’t show up correctly on the map app. After a few more miles, we ended in a roundabout intersecting a gravel road. I took the graveled lane.
Dense trees flanked the beginning of the driveway, their limbs hanging over us like a canopy. When they cleared, I could see the ocean.
“Oh my God,” Natalya breathed. “Oh my God,” she repeated.
I exhaled slowly and prayed we were heading for the right property because, glancing at my wife’s face, I’d hate it if we had to turn around. It would also affect the momentum of my plans.
Full-court press. She was going to fall in love with me again, even if it killed me.
Because love was worth dying for.
Her love was there. I saw flashes of it in her eyes before doubt would replace them. And that whole shit was on me.
When the house came into view, I wanted to do a fist pump. It was the one I selected from the properties Dom showed me. Set high on the Montauk bluffs, it was a modern take on the Chinese teahouse. Floor-to-ceiling windows gave an unobstructed view of the ocean. Even I felt a lift in my spirits as the house drew closer.
“We’re staying here?” Natalya gushed.
“You like it?”
“I didn’t think I was a beach person, but I can’t wait to get to the oceanfront.”
“Four hundred eighty-five feet of private beach.”
“Wow, how much did this cost you?”
I punched the app for the garage door opener. The gates lifted as our SUV continued to roll down the driveway. “That’s between Dom and me.”
“I’m still feeling guilty we left Elias.”
“Say that to me again when you get a full view of the ocean.”
My wife turned toward me, and the smile on her face was the smile when I gave her chocolates that first time.
