There was no applause. Just the sound of Livvie’s broken sobs and Kid’s muted pants.
Caleb felt…well, he didn’t know how he felt. He only knew he wanted Livvie. He wanted her close and away from all the prying eyes around them. Rafiq had not arrived and Caleb was overwhelmed with anger and regret in addition to an influx of emotions he had no time to analyze.
“I’m taking her upstairs,” Caleb said, gathering Livvie’s naked and quivering body into his arms. He noticed Kid’s eyes, glazed with unshed tears, and harboring a more than guilty expression. If Caleb didn’t know better, he’d say the boy was smitten in the worst way. The very idea seemed to incite his anger and yes, his jealousy. Caleb was teeming with jealousy. If he didn’t get away from Kid soon, Caleb worried he’d be unable to control himself.
She kissed him, he screamed in this head.
She’ll kiss Vladek, too.
Caleb couldn’t think about it. His thoughts were too dangerous. His emotions were too raw and logic was quickly fleeing. Devoid of reason, he could find no cause to keep him from taking Livvie upstairs and fucking her senseless. He wanted to scrub every trace of Kid from her body and clear every memory of him from Livvie’s mind. Caleb wanted her to think only of him, to be, with him.
You can’t do it, can you? You can’t let her go. Find a way, Caleb. Find a way to make Rafiq understand.
Caleb’s thoughts ran wild as he held Livvie to his chest and walked toward his room. His heart pounded a sharp tattoo he could visibly see shifting her in his arms.
Once upstairs, Caleb gently placed Livvie onto his bed. In the short time it had taken him to get to his room she had somehow managed to sob her way into a kind of sleep. Her eyes were closed. Every so often, she would take in a deep breath and her chest shuddered before she exhaled. Caleb looked down at her sleeping form and wondered what she dreamed about in her passed-out state of slumber. Her body jerked, twisting her over onto her back, her nakedness open for the taking. He wanted to take her. His erection pressed into the zipper of his pants, begging for release.
He closed his eyes in order to relax, still standing next to the bed. Her smell permeated his senses, a fragrance light, musky, and all her own. It had pulled him to her earlier tonight. Like a sea siren calling to a sailor, her need compelled him to act. Without thought, he had rolled his sleeves up and dived in with both hands to quench her thirst.
Mine.
The word was a declaration. It rocked him to his very foundation. It was a truth he’d kept hidden for far too long. Caleb didn’t know anything about love, or loving anyone, but he knew…Livvie, was his. He owned her. He possessed her and he knew, with everything he was, he couldn’t give her away.
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!
Rafiq will understand. I’ll make him understand.
Caleb was far from rational. Deep down, he knew Rafiq wouldn’t understand. He would see it as the deepest betrayal. He would demand the impossible of Caleb. Rafiq would try to hurt them both. Caleb pushed those thoughts away.
Before common sense could return, Caleb gently raised Livvie’s hands and untied her wrists. Livvie sighed, and Caleb lied down on top of her in time to watch her eyes flutter open. He stared into her deep, chocolate-colored eyes and saw himself reflected in their depths as she focused on him. A myriad of feelings passed through him, jealousy and possessiveness at the forefront. He needed to make her his: unequivocally and irreversibly.
Livvie’s expression turned inscrutable. She lay under Caleb, her arms limp at her sides, her expressive eyes cold and distant.
Caleb wanted nothing more than to know what she was thinking, but he was too terrified to ask. The feeling of terror was foreign and unwanted. The last time he’d felt it, Livvie was in a house, bleeding, broken, and barely holding on to her life. He’d been terrified then and he’d barely known her. The way he felt for her now paled in comparison. He dared not ask what was in her heart. He knew he couldn’t bear to hear it.
“I can’t stand the smell of him on you,” Caleb sneered.
Tears sprang to Livvie’s eyes and trailed down her temples. She closed her eyes and turned her head away from Caleb.
He put his hand on her face and forced her to face him.
Don’t ask.
Don’t ask.
Fuck! I’m going to ask.
He needed to know. He needed to know if her love for him was real. He needed to know hope was not lost and he could still, against all odds, repair the damage he had done.
“Did you enjoy it?” he asked. He tried not to make it sound like an accusation, but he knew he fell short. Livvie raised her hands to her face, covering her eyes and mouth as she began weeping. Again, Caleb refused to let her hide. He reached for her hands and pressed them into the bed above her.
“Tell me!” he snapped.
“I don’t know what you want me to say!” she cried.
“Tell me the truth! Did you like sucking his dick? Did he eat your pussy better than I do?” Caleb’s thoughts were suddenly murderous. He had meant to be kind, he had meant to be gentle, but it just wasn’t his way. He no longer knew what ‘his way’ was.
“Yes!” Livvie screamed, “Yes, you son-of-a-bitch. I liked it. Isn’t that why you made me do it? So you could parade me around like a trained fucking poodle?”
Caleb saw red. He squeezed Livvie’s wrists until she cried out in pain and he forced himself to let go. Her words hurt him.
Mine! You’re fucking mine!
Caleb pulled away from Livvie and reached for his belt. He unfastened it quickly and pulled it free in one swift jerk. Livvie gasped, scrambling backward across the bedspread. Caleb caught her ankle and dragged her back toward the edge of the bed. She folded her knees and crossed her arms over her breasts.
The plug in Livvie’s ass was clearly visible and the sight sent the strangest series of emotions through him, not the least of which was lust. He leaned forward above her and braced his arm across her legs to keep her bent. He chanced a glance up at her face and saw the terror in her eyes as she strove to remain perfectly still.
He reached down and pressed his palm against the plug. Livvie groaned and shut her eyes, but made no move to stop him. Caleb knew it was cruel to keep her in such a position, but his anger and lust kept him from gentling.
Caleb’s fingers traced the rim of Livvie’s hole, stretched around the plug. “How about this, Kitten? Do you like this? Should I invite everyone downstairs to watch?”
Livvie closed her eyes and turned away with a whimper.
“Look at me,” he said and tugged gently on the plug until she complied. “Do you want me to take this out?”
“Yes, Master,” she whimpered. Tears ran down her temples.
“Ah! It’s Master, now, is it?” he said. “You’re so much more obedient when you’ve something rammed up your ass.” He tugged again.
“Please, don’t! I only did it because you told me to!” she sobbed.
“Quiet! You don’t want to provoke me,” he said. His body trembled with rage.
You’re scaring her, you idiot. You won’t get to her this way.
Caleb knew he was hearing the voice of reason in his head, but he seemed unable to help himself. His fingers traced the edges of the plug, over and over until he could feel Livvie’s hips rocking on their own.
“Tell me you like this,” he said. Lust edged his voice.
“I like it,” she whispered.
Caleb continued his gentle, but sadistic exploration. He watched as Livvie’s tears wet her face, but her teeth nibbled on her lip. She felt pleasure, but she also felt shame. It was a feeling Caleb understood all too well.
Slowly, he pressed on her muscles and pulled on the plug. He wanted it out. He wanted all evidence of the past twenty-four hours stripped away from her body and from his mind.
“Relax,” he snapped, when he felt her tighten up. “Push the plug out,” he ordered.
“I can’t,” Livvie sobbed.
“Push, now!” he said and spanked her upturned ass. It wasn’t much of a slap, but his point was made. Livvie squeezed her eyes shut and pushed at the same time Caleb slid his finger in around the plug to loosen the suction created by Livvie’s ass.
Slowly, he wiggled the plug back and forth as Livvie pushed, until finally, it popped out. “Oh!” Livvie cried out.
As Caleb dispensed with the toy, Livvie turned onto her side and wept into his bedspread. He returned shortly, at a loss for how he wanted to proceed. He needed to make her his. He pulled her up off the bed and turned her toward it. His heart ached when she didn’t resist.
Easy, Caleb. Don’t break her. Win her.
Caleb wrapped his arms around Livvie and pulled her close. He needed her close. She trembled in his arms, her chest heaved with sobs. Caleb buried his nose in her neck and shut his eyes tightly.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know. I know you only did it because I told you to.” Livvie gasped and squirmed in his arms as she tried to turn around, but Caleb held her in place. He needed to say things to her and he couldn’t do it unless his eyes were closed and her body was pressed against his. That was his way.
He’d confessed so many things to her in the dark. He’d whispered to her as she’d slept. He’d held her close to him and fantasized about all the things he wanted and yet felt could never be his. He’d discovered a secret place inside himself in those moments.
He was done fantasizing. He wanted his desires to become reality.
“I’m fucked in the head, Livvie. I know it. I know I’m wrong,” he whispered and held her tighter. She was frozen in his arms.
“I felt like I didn’t have a choice. Felipe’s been watching us since we got here. He has cameras everywhere,” he continued. Livvie gasped. “But I did have a choice. I could have told him to go fuck himself. I could have killed him right then and there – but I didn’t.”
“Rafiq will be here soon and I…. I needed a way to let you go. I needed a way to remind myself I can’t keep you.” Caleb could feel himself getting choked up. His skin crawled with heat and shame. He was weak to express so much, but now the floodgates had opened, he could do nothing but hold tight to Livvie as he was battered against the rocks.
“I’ve lived a horrible life. I’ve done terrible, unspeakable things. You have to know, I’m not sorry. I’ve never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it. The scars on my back are the least of what I’ve suffered. And it’s only because of Rafiq I’m alive.”
“No, Caleb,” Livvie whimpered.
Caleb squeezed her again, too roughly. He loosened his hold when Livvie whined, but he couldn’t let her go. “I don’t know how to make you understand. I don’t know how to tell you how much I owe him. I owe him everything! But God, help me – I can’t….”
He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t tell her how much she had come to mean to him. She could destroy him with her rejection. If she had feigned her feelings for him – if he’d bought into her lies and her quest for freedom…. He wasn’t sure what he would do. He could hurt her.
Mine!
“I couldn’t stand to see you with that motherfucker downstairs. I wanted to beat him unconscious. Even now, I can smell him on you and it makes me sick!” He growled.
Livvie cried. She struggled in Caleb’s grasp until she freed her arms. She placed them over his hands and squeezed them. “I didn’t want to,” she sobbed. “But…you’re just…you’re all over the place! One minute, I think…you must feel something. You have to care! But the next…. Caleb, you’re awful. You’re cruel and you…you break my heart.”
Caleb held her as she sobbed in his arms and never had he wished he could just let go, so much. He wished he were capable of letting everything come out of him. He wanted to cry. He could feel the tears in his throat. Everything hurt, his heart, his throat, even his eyes as he kept them tightly closed. His arms ached with the intensity of his hold on Livvie, but he couldn’t let it out. He’d trained himself for far too long and unlike the job he’d done with Livvie, he’d trained himself much too well.
“I can’t take it anymore, Caleb. I’ve tried, but I can’t,” she sobbed. “Every time I think you’re coming around, every time I let myself hope, you crush me. You rip everything out! Sometimes I think I fucking hate you. Sometimes I know I hate you. And still! Still, Caleb – I love you. I put my faith in you. I believe you when you say it’s all going to be alright.”
“I’m done,” she said with a determination capable of stopping Caleb’s heart. “I’m done, Caleb. I’ll kill myself!”
Mine!
Pure rage slammed into Caleb. He turned her in his arms and pushed her onto the bed. His body came crashing down on top of her and he held her down. “Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare say shit like that to me. That’s the coward’s way out and you know it,” he spat.
Livvie’s eyes burned with a rage to match Caleb’s own. He could see it. He could feel it. “You’re the coward, Caleb. I’m not afraid to tell you how I feel. I’m not afraid to admit, that despite everything you’ve done to me, I love you.”
She loves me.
“Do you have any idea how stupid I feel confessing to you?” she continued, “You kidnapped me! You’ve humiliated me, beat me, nearly gotten me raped, and just a moment ago you had me suck a complete stranger’s dick in a room full of twisted perverts. I love you, but I’m not the coward, Caleb. I deserve to live or die on my own fucking terms.”
Caleb stared down into Livvie’s face and the steel he saw behind her eyes shook him to his foundation for the second time. Livvie was no coward. He knew it, had even told himself he’d never accuse her of such a thing again, and this had been why. Livvie would do it. She would end her own life. Caleb couldn’t breathe.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. It seemed to be all he could say, all he was capable of saying. He relaxed his hold on her and rested his head next to hers on the bed. He made himself breathe, past the pain, past the anguish lying in wait in his throat. Slowly, deeply, he breathed.
They lay in silence for several minutes. Caleb could feel Livvie’s tears as they slid down her face; they wet his own. It was as close to crying as Caleb could get and for a moment he imagined they were his tears. They were his confession. They said all the things he couldn’t…because he was a coward.
Slowly, Livvie stirred. Caleb wasn’t sure what to expect, but then he felt her arms slide around him. Caleb’s stomach dipped, his heart felt squeezed. She shouldn’t be holding him. He knew it was his place to comfort her since he was the one responsible for all of her suffering. Still, Caleb was selfish. He let her be the one to comfort them.
“I thought about you,” she said numbly, “while he was touching me. I thought about you.” Caleb pressed into her in a silent plea for her to stop talking. He didn’t want to hear this, but Livvie was done listening to him, and he knew it. “I wanted to make you jealous. I wanted to make you feel, even a fraction, of what I felt, the night you fucked Celia in front of me.”
Caleb winced. His heart felt even tighter. He hoped Livvie’s words meant he hadn’t lost her yet. Somehow he’d find a way to make it right with her, and Rafiq.
“I was insanely jealous,” Caleb offered in supplication.
Livvie squeezed him for a moment then loosened her hold, “I know. It should make me happy, but it doesn’t.” She sighed.
“Why,” Caleb asked softly into her warm, wet neck.
“I’d rather make you happy, Caleb. I’d rather see you smile. Sometimes, you smile and I…” she paused, overwhelmed, “I forget about everything that’s wrong with you.”
Caleb wasn’t sure what to say, so he simply told her the truth, “I’d rather see you smile, too. In the beginning, when I didn’t know you…you seemed so sad. I watched you cry one day and I thought, ‘I want to taste her tears’. I have a thing about them. I confess I’ve made you cry just to see your tears. I’ve gotten off on your suffering.” He swallowed.
“But now,” Caleb said, “I never want to see you cry again. I wish I could go back to the day on the street, the day you thought I’d saved you from the guy in the car, and just…let you believe I was your hero. You smiled at me, so sweetly. You thanked me. I wish I’d just let it be.”
Caleb could feel Livvie taking deep breaths.
“I know it’s what I should want, too,” she said, “but I don’t. I accuse you of being fucked in the head, Caleb. The truth is… I wonder if I’m not fucked up, too. I should hate you, Caleb. Now I’ve decided what my fate will be, I should want to kill you. I don’t. I can’t imagine never having known you.”
“Maybe it’s fate,” Livvie said, “if you believe in that sort of thing. Maybe you were supposed to meet me that day. You asked me once if I’d choose some other girl to take my place. I wanted to say yes.”
“You said, no,” Caleb whispered. He thought about how it might have worked out with another girl – if he’d have the feelings he had for Livvie for someone else. He’d been conflicted from the start. He’d been ready to leave his life as Rafiq’s right hand behind until Vladek had resurfaced unexpectedly. Perhaps his emotions had less to do with Livvie and more with his desire to move on from his past. Nonetheless, he doubted it. Livvie was unique to him. Irreplaceable.
“I did, but I wanted to say yes, Caleb. If I had believed for a second you’d let some other girl suffer in my place… I think I might have said yes,” she said dully. “I’m fucked in the head, too. Even before I met you.”
Caleb let her words sink in for a moment. He didn’t believe they were true. Livvie was far from fucked up, especially while he was the standard. However, if Livvie chose to see some greater purpose behind their relationship and therefore not hate him, he was too weak not to let her believe it.
As the silence stretched on between them, Caleb became more aware of Livvie and her nudity. He ached to touch her, to make love to her, but there were more things he had to say first.
“I can’t erase my debt to Rafiq,” he said. Livvie tensed, but Caleb hurried his words along, “It’s not something I expect you to understand, but I can’t just leave.”
“What do you mean, Caleb? What does it mean, for us?” Her words were said without emotion, but Caleb knew how much she held in check.
“It means I have to make him understand. We’ll have to find another way, maybe another girl…” he began.
Livvie pushed at his shoulder and sat up, “Are you fucking kidding me, Caleb? Another girl? How could I live with myself?!?”
Caleb’s anger was returning, “You just finished saying….”
“That was before!” Livvie shouted, “I could never put someone through this. Never! Please, Caleb, see reason. Let me get dressed and let’s get the fuck out of here and never look back.” She reached out with both hands and held Caleb’s face in a vise-like grip. “Please, Caleb. Please.”
Caleb stared into Livvie’s pleading eyes and for a moment he thought he might open his mouth and say yes.
“I expect obedience, Caleb. I expect your loyalty. Anyone who betrays me will only do it once. Do you understand?” Rafiq had said ominously.
“Yes, Rafiq, I understand,” Caleb had replied.
“I want to, Livvie,” Caleb whispered, “Aside from my revenge, I can honestly tell you, there is nothing I desire more than to take you away and find out what this thing between us is all about.” He reached for her hands and placed them in her lap before he stroked her hair affectionately.
“But, this is who I am. I repay my debts. Nothing comes before family, loyalty, duty, and honor. Rafiq is as close to family as I can remember, and I owe him. If you’re asking me to betray him…you can never accept who I am.”
Livvie shut her eyes tightly, seemingly processing the pain Caleb’s words had caused. He felt stupid and naïve. He should have known Livvie would be incapable of understanding him or his motives. Livvie was no monster and she wouldn’t become one simply because Caleb was.
“Why does this guy need to die so badly, Caleb? What did he do? What is so horrible, you’d dedicate your life, and sacrifice your happiness to kill him? Help me understand, Caleb,” Livvie whispered.
Caleb looked at Livvie, and had he seen any trace of condescension, he would have told her to go to hell, but the only thing expressed in Livvie’s eyes was concern. He was surprised he even recognized it. Rafiq had never really been concerned for Caleb.
Rafiq had been Caleb’s salvation, his tutor, mentor, and sometimes friend. He’d clothed him, provided shelter, and food. He’d nursed him from a traumatized whore into a dangerous man. Yet, Rafiq had always demanded his due. At the slightest hint of uncertainty on Caleb’s part, Rafiq never hesitated to remind him of his place. Caleb’s life had always been conditional. Rafiq’s favor had always been conditional.
Caleb had never questioned Rafiq’s methods or his authority. It had never mattered to him that Rafiq demanded blind obedience. He had always believed he was lucky to be alive and been grateful for Rafiq. Caleb was still grateful and always would be, but until Livvie, Caleb had never known how it felt to have someone care, truly care, for him.
“I think…,” Caleb’s heart hammered hard in his chest, “I think he…sold me.” His flesh felt like it was on fire, like it would burn, crackle, and molt right off his bones.
“Sold? As…as, in…?” Livvie seemed at a loss for words.
Caleb looked her dead in the eyes and steeled himself, “It didn’t happen last week, alright!” He said angrily. “I was young. I don’t even remember how young I was. I have no memories of my life before Narweh. Sometimes, I think I remember something, but I can’t be sure. Even my early years with Narweh get mixed up. I wasn’t born a monster, Livvie.”
Livvie’s face crumpled and she seemed to explode with tears. She wrapped her arms around Caleb’s neck, squeezing him with all her strength, “Oh, god! Oh, Caleb. I’m so sorry I called you that. I’m so sorry.”
Caleb’s emotions were everywhere. He didn’t want her pity. He never wanted pity. Still, he seemed to need Livvie’s arms. He didn’t have it in him to push her away.
“I wasn’t alone. There were six of us,” Caleb said. He held Livvie tight to his chest. “I don’t remember being sold. There wasn’t an auction or anything. I think I came in a box. To this day, I can’t stand cramped spaces – or boats – I hate boats.”
“Things…,” Caleb struggled, “happened to me. Narweh liked to beat me…among other things.” Caleb felt Livvie’s arms tighten around him.
Mine!
“I was getting too old, I think. I was tall compared to the others. I had hair on my balls and under my arms. The men who….” Caleb swallowed hard, “They wanted boys, not men. I think Narweh meant to kill me.”
“Stop,” Livvie sobbed into Caleb’s neck, “I can’t listen anymore.”
Caleb felt something slide loose inside him: shame. Pure, uncut, shame rolled through him. “Don’t love me now you know I used to be a whore?”
He pushed Livvie away and she flopped backward onto the bed. Her red, puffy eyes fixed on Caleb with disdain. “You’re an idiot!” she said and sat up. “I can’t listen anymore because I can’t stand the thought of you being hurt!” She crawled toward Caleb slowly, wary.
Caleb wanted to run, but he remained immobile as Livvie’s words tried to settle into his mind. “It was a long time ago. I made him pay.” Caleb met Livvie’s eyes and saw a flicker of realization light her features.
“The bikers,” she whispered.
“Yes,” Caleb said. He cleared his throat, trying to keep calm when all he wanted was to destroy something in a fit of murderous rage.
Livvie nodded, “Those men deserved to die.” Caleb reared back, incredulous. Livvie continued, “Narweh deserved to die, too. And I…I get why you can’t let this go.”
“You do?” Caleb’s heart thudded in his ears.
Livvie smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, “Yes, Caleb.”
“But…?” Caleb prodded.
Livvie’s mouth turned down in the corners, “I can’t let you replace me. I couldn’t live with myself, Caleb. I couldn’t live…with you.”
“Maybe it’s not up to you!” Caleb snapped.
Livvie held up her hand, her fingers curled under as she reached for Caleb. She approached him slowly, as one would a wild animal.
Caleb had the desire to push her hand away, but the sorrow on Livvie’s face gave him pause. He let her touch his face and he marveled at how much affection he could feel in her simple, yet complex touch. He closed his eyes and let himself feel loved, just for a few seconds to commit it to memory. It hurt to think it might be the first and last time anyone ever touched him in such a way.
“I can’t wait two years for you to come get me, Caleb. I’m done being the damsel in distress. I don’t need anyone to save me,” she said. Her voice was calm, resolute.
“Livvie…” Caleb began, but she put her fingers to his lips.
“I’ll do it, Caleb. I’ll go to the auction and I’ll be perfect. I’ll make the son of a bitch want me,” her breath shuddered, “and when we’re alone…I’ll kill him for you.”
Caleb’s eyes flew open and he shook his head, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You want him dead, right?” Livvie said, “What does it matter who kills him or when? I could poison him or something.”
Caleb couldn’t help but smile, even as he knew he would never let her do such a thing. The fact she would even offer….
“I thought you weren’t interested in revenge?” Caleb teased.
“I’m not interested in my revenge, Caleb. But for you….” Livvie whispered, and her eyes said the rest.
Caleb lunged toward Livvie, toppling her backward onto the bed. When Livvie gasped in surprise, he took the opportunity to kiss her. He wished he couldn’t taste Kid in her mouth, but he refused to let it stop him. He needed this. He needed Livvie and her love. His heart had never felt so flooded. He felt he could burst open with the strength and force of it, nothing but need and desire would come pouring out of him.
He put everything he felt, but couldn’t put into words, into his kiss. His hands held on to Livvie, pressing her closer, deeper into his body. His inability to touch every part of her at one time seemed a great injustice.
Closer!
Mine!
He broke away from the kiss, only because he needed her permission. He was done taking anything from her she wasn’t willing to give. “Can I….” Fuck you? Didn’t seem right. Make love to you? So, fucking cheesy.
“Yes, Caleb! For fucksake, yes!” Livvie cried and pulled Caleb back down into their kiss.
Caleb chuckled softly into her mouth, but quickly regained his bearings. He wanted this to be perfect. For the both of them. Despite how his own body protested, he pulled himself up and off the bed. He held out his hand for Livvie before he spoke, “I want to take a shower. I’ve waited a long time for this and I just want it to be us. I only want to smell, you.”
Livvie blushed, but didn’t say anything. She took Caleb’s hand and followed close behind him as they entered the bathroom to wash all traces of the other man away.
Beneath the flood of warm water, he kissed Livvie. Only hours before, he’d told her he would never kiss her again. What an idiot he’d been! Pressed against her, his bare skin against hers, he regretted every horrible thing he had done to Livvie. He decided he would do anything to make it up to her. He would beg her forgiveness. He would bare his soul. He would bleed and die if he had to, but he would never hurt Livvie again.
“I love you,” she said between kisses.
“Shh,” Caleb whispered against her mouth. He knew she wanted him to say the words. He wanted to say them as well, but he didn’t want to lie. Caleb was a monster. Monsters didn’t love. He cared. He hungered. He lusted. He felt more than he ever dreamed possible, and yet…he couldn’t be sure it was love. He wouldn’t lie.
Caleb went to his knees, kissing a trail across Livvie’s body as he went. He sucked water from her nipples, drawing her taut flesh into his mouth in long, greedy pulls. He licked under her breasts and down her ribs. He worshipped her hips and belly. Finally, he parted her legs to find the source of her womanhood.
He could smell her arousal, see the redness of her swollen clit as it peeked out from under her hood. Pushing her legs farther apart, he stared at the open petals of her inner lips. Soon, his cock would be sliding past them and into the heat of her. She would be his – irrevocably. Caleb leaned forward and kissed her lips as he would her mouth.
She moaned and her hands moved toward Caleb’s head, pushing him closer. It was exactly where Caleb wanted to be – closer. He teased her lips gently with the tip of this tongue, letting them part slowly as her arousal and his mouth made Livvie wetter. As she rocked on his face, he pushed deeper, tasting her inside.
“Oh, Caleb,” she sighed. “Oh, god. You feel so good.”
Caleb’s hands weren’t idle. They traveled up and down her legs, sometimes spreading her thighs, other times scratching up the backs of her legs, forcing her up on her toes. He let them keep traveling as he licked, sucked, and even fucked Livvie with his tongue.
“I’m gonna come,” Livvie panted. Caleb grabbed her ass with both hands, holding her in place as he moaned into her pussy and she came on his tongue.
“Caleb!” she shouted and fisted his hair. She couldn’t move her hips, so she pulled him close.
Once Livvie had finished shivering, she let go of Caleb’s hair. It had hurt, but he was okay with pain, especially under the circumstances. He stood slowly, letting his knees work out the pain from having been on the shower floor for so long and turned off the water.
Livvie reached out and grasped his cock, startling him. He was hard and her touch made him eager. As quickly as was safely possible, he led the way out of the shower and back into the bedroom. To hell with towels.
“I want you,” Caleb said. He slid against Livvie in a preview of what was to come.
“I want you, too,” Livvie said and spread her legs. She shivered, her hair and body soaking wet.
Caleb reached down to Livvie’s pussy and rubbed her with his fingers, loving the sounds she made and the way she undulated against him. Assured of her desire, Caleb slid his index finger into Livvie’s tight, wet hole.
“Oh!” Livvie sighed. She rocked back and forth.
Caleb’s head swam with desire. She was so tight inside. Her muscles sucked on his finger, drawing it deeper inside. There was no way he’d fit inside her if he didn’t prepare her well enough. He dipped his head down to her nipple and trapped the little bud between his lips. When her hips rocked up, he slipped another finger inside.
“Ow!” she said, followed by a moan, as Caleb laved her nipple.
Caleb waited for her to relax and for her legs to drop open again before he slowly began moving his fingers back and forth. Her muscles loosened in degrees, stretching around his fingers, lubricating them with her desire.
“This is going to hurt a little. You know that, right?” Caleb said. He stared down into Livvie’s chocolate-colored eyes and saw her trust. He didn’t want to betray it again.
“I know. It’s okay,” she said and pulled him down toward her mouth. The kiss she placed on Caleb’s lips was sweet and full of warmth.
Caleb felt the barricade of her virginity with his fingers. “Put your hands over your head,” he said. Livvie complied instantly and Caleb used his left hand to pin her wrists. He pushed deeper with his fingers, slowly turning them width-wise.
“Caleb!” Livvie tried to push away from his fingers, her face a twisted mask of pain.
“I know, Livvie. I know it hurts, but it’ll be over soon, I promise,” Caleb kissed her lips gently, not offended she wasn’t kissing him back because she was too wrapped up in her pain.
“Please,” she whimpered.
“Relax, Livvie,” he encouraged. His thumb made circles around her clit as he continued to push against the wall of her virginity. Finally, he felt it give way. It seemed to dissolve as if it had never been.
“Ow,” Livvie whimpered and rubbed her head against Caleb’s outstretched arm.
“Shh, it’s done. I think that was the worst part,” he whispered and kissed her trembling lips. He let her wrists go and he sighed when she wrapped her arms around his neck and started kissing his neck.
Caleb cautiously slid his fingers out. Livvie whined and stopped kissing him. They both looked at his fingers and noticed her light pink blood on them. Caleb couldn’t hear past the sound of his heart beating in his ears.
Mine!
He spared a glance toward Livvie and saw she was embarrassed. Meeting her eyes, Caleb placed his fingers near his mouth and licked her virgin blood off of them. Livvie’s face went from embarrassment to horror.
Caleb didn’t care. “There. Now you’re part of me, forever. You’re mine, Livvie. I hope you understand.”
Livvie swallowed audibly, her eyes flicking from Caleb’s to his fingers and back. “I’m yours,” she said, but then added, “only yours. And you’re mine, only mine.”
Caleb could only smile. He couldn’t have said it better himself.
“Ready?”
She ran her hand down his face, “Yes.”
Caleb reached down and grabbed his dick. If he’d ever been this hard, he didn’t remember it. He was glad this was Livvie’s first time, because he wasn’t going to last very long and perhaps it would keep her from getting too sore. He rubbed the head of his cock through her wetness, deliberately sliding it over her clit every once in a while.
“Caleb, stop it. Just do it already,” she moaned. She was trying to get onto his cock herself, but Caleb kept moving his hips back.
He laughed. “Greedy little pussy, you have.”
“Mmm,” she moaned, “All the better to make you come.”
Caleb almost lost it. He’d never imagined Livvie to have such a dirty mouth. He liked it. “Well, we’ll see, won’t we?” He pushed into her pussy. He didn’t thrust himself inside, but he wasn’t too slow. He wanted her to get to the part where the pain was a memory and she could appreciate the pleasure he wanted to give her.
“Oh, god!” she shouted. Her legs wrapped around him in an attempt to hold him still, but Caleb simply lifted her weight and rocked. With her arms and legs wrapped around him, she hung like a pendulum and her momentum forced Caleb deeper.
“Please,” Caleb whispered in Arabic, “I want to be all the way inside you.”
“What?” Livvie said through gritted teeth.
“I said your pussy is amazing!” And damn it, it was! Caleb sat back on his heels and wrapped his arms around Livvie. He pushed in the last few inches, grunting loudly when he felt Livvie’s ass on his balls.
He waited. Livvie held him tightly, leaving kisses on his face, mouth, and neck. She sighed when her muscles finally relaxed and Caleb settled into her.
“I love you,” she repeated. “I love you, so fucking much.”
Buried inside of Livvie, Caleb experienced nirvana. If ever there were a time to repeat Livvie’s words, he knew it should be now. He couldn’t. He hoped in time, he could. All he could do was caress her, kiss her, and slide in and out of her in the hopes she could feel everything he wanted to express.
“You’re mine,” he said.
“Yours,” she repeated.
Livvie was too tight, too wet, and too fucking incredible inside for Caleb to hold back. He held Livvie in his arms and rocked his hips under, sealing himself against her wet flesh and he started to fuck. Up and down he bounced Livvie on his dick. He wanted to yell out every time he went balls deep, but he settled for whispering filth to her in a language she didn’t understand.
“Oh. Oh. Oh, god,” was all Livvie seemed capable of getting out.
Caleb felt heat at the base of his spine and he knew it would be spreading. He was going to come any second and as much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn’t come inside Livvie. He laid her down on the bed, fighting her arms as she clutched at his shoulders and back.
“Arms over your head, right now,” he ordered.
“Yes, Caleb,” Livvie moaned.
Livvie’s enthusiastic obedience was enough to push Caleb over the edge. He sucked Livvie’s nipple into his mouth and sucked hard, forcing her to cry out and he pulled his cock out of her and came against her thigh.
Once he was done panting, Caleb held Livvie’s trembling body in his arms. He’d never felt happiness like he felt it then, but Livvie was crying. “Are you hurt?” Caleb whispered. He was mortified to think he’d taken more pleasure than he gave.
Livvie reached up, touched his face and smiled. “I’m okay,” she said sheepishly.
Caleb wiped at her tears. “Then why are you crying?”
“I don’t know,” Livvie said. Her shaking hands stroked Caleb’s hair away from his forehead. He closed his eyes, enjoying the proprietary way she touched him. “I think I’m just happy,” she whispered.
Caleb let out a short laugh, “Strange response to happiness, but okay.” He leaned down and licked at one of the salty tears trailing toward Livvie’s ear. He smiled when he felt her try to wriggle out from under him.
“What are you doing?” She said and laughed.
“I was curious,” he whispered.
“About what?”
Caleb looked down at Livvie in wonder. He had done so many terrible things to her, things he could never take back. And still, she loved him. Of all the tears he’d made her shed, these were his favorite. “If happy tears taste the same as the sad ones,” he said.
A rush of tears rolled down her face, but her smile widened. “And?” she croaked.
“I think they’re sweeter,” Caleb whispered. He kissed her lips and discovered what real sweetness was, “but it could just be your face.”
Caleb knew he could never undo what he’d just done and he was glad.
