Livvie got in the car and slammed the door. She tried to hide it, but Caleb saw the way she winced and rubbed her collarbone.
“Happy? Have we taught the door a lesson?” Caleb taunted through a gentle laugh.
Her eyes narrowed in his direction, her rage unmistakable. “I can’t believe what you did to those people Caleb. You’re just…never mind. Can we just go please?”
Caleb’s ire, dormant because of his unexpected orgasm earlier, now rose to the surface. “Which part can’t you believe?” he snapped, jamming the key in the ignition of the stolen car and turning it. “The part where I rescued you from a bunch of would-be rapists that beat you half to death? Or perhaps the part where – at great risk to myself – I kidnapped a doctor to help save you? Which part is it, because I’d like to know which of those things I should never do for you again?” He threw the vehicle in gear and took off. For a moment, he didn’t care Livvie had been jostled in her seat.
Silence.
Caleb sat back, satisfied. It wasn’t like he killed them. The doctor and his wife were free to live their lives, no worse for wear. Livvie had been mortified to find the couple exactly as he had left them the night before – taped to their dining room chairs. Granted, the fact they had urinated on themselves during the course of the evening was distasteful, but they were otherwise unharmed. In a different situation, he might not have let them off so easy. He wondered how Livvie would have reacted to such a thing.
“Thank you,” Livvie muttered from the passenger seat.
“For what?” Caleb was still irritated.
“For saving my life. Even if you’re just going to put it in danger again,” she whispered.
Caleb had no response. It was exactly what he was going to do. Drive her to Tuxtepec, bring her to Rafiq, train her, sell her…lose her forever.
And kill Vladek. Don’t forget that part.
The thought didn’t assuage the guilt taking up residence inside him. His heart was heavy, his thoughts scrambled. Still, he couldn’t allow himself to show weakness. All the turmoil within him had to be hidden, from every one.
“You’re welcome, Kitten,” he scoffed. From the corner of his eye, he watched Kitten swipe at her eye and flick her tears toward the floor of the car. Ruining my life!
Things had been so much easier in the shower, easier when it was just the two of them and the outside world seemed irrelevant and beyond the reach of his thoughts. The world was in the car with them now and it was Kitten who seemed beyond reach.
After she’d made him feel more pleasure than he’d ever had – with a hand job, no less – he’d reveled in soaping her skin, watching intently as water sluiced over the taut peaks of her nipples, down the slopes of her tan belly and hips, and descending past the raven triangle between her thighs. He’d touched her there as well, sifted his fingers through her sparse hair until he felt her slippery flesh part under his fingers. It was like opening a flower, her petals pink and vibrant, shiny with dew and lust.
He’d knelt before her, worshipful. She’d opened for him, hungry, full of want. His every sense had been engaged and focused on her. He could smell her arousal, he could see the way her flesh darkened, and against his fingers he had felt her tremble, he had heard her soft whimpers. She had begged him to taste her. Slowly, he had licked her tiny bud.
Oh! How she had wanted him.
She’d spread wider and placed her fingers in his hair and pulled him closer.
“Beg me,” he’d whispered the words against her.
“Please, Caleb. Please, lick me.”
He’d obeyed. One long, wet, lick across her open petals.
She sobbed, “Again. Please. Again.”
“Say you want me to lick your pussy.”
She gripped his hair tighter, “Caleb!” she’d grated.
“Say it. I want to hear more filth from your mouth.”
She hesitated. Her hips rocked toward his mouth, but he’d do no more than kiss her with his lips.
“Please, Caleb. L-lick my…pussy.”
Nothing had ever turned him on more. He’d pushed her legs wide, cradling her thighs on his shoulders and pressed his face into her pussy. Lick her? He fucking devoured her.
Pain had no longer seemed to be an issue for her as she undulated and rocked her hips against his rapacious mouth. Her hands held his head, pushing him deeper, demanding more, even as he gave and gave.
When she’d come, her pussy had gripped his tongue. Wet, pulsing, flesh, fluttering against wet, pulsing, flesh. Her juices saturated his mouth, a rush of honey he not only swallowed, but sucked from her flesh long after she had begged him to stop.
But that had been then. This was now.
Caleb sighed heavily, frustrated by the turn of events. More bothersome than Kitten’s demeanor was the prospect of Rafiq’s impending visit. He had tried to call Rafiq earlier, while Kitten was getting dressed and combing her hair, but there had been no answer. Caleb could only assume Rafiq was either on his way or ignoring him. He hoped it was the latter. The last thing he needed after what was sure to be a very long and taxing car trip was a confrontation with Rafiq.
Their relationship was beyond complicated. Rafiq was many things to Caleb. At one time, his guardian. Later, a friend. Now? Rafiq called him brother. But Rafiq was also much more. Rafiq held a power and a sway over Caleb he’d never felt comfortable with. Caleb had been a difficult teenager. After Narweh, he was left with a lot of fear that had turned to anger. There had been times when they had argued and Caleb had seen things in Rafiq he wished never to see again.
Rafiq would stop at nothing to have his plans carried through. Everyone was expendable; anyone, collateral damage. If ever it came down to it, Rafiq would kill him, and therefore, Caleb had to be prepared to strike first. The truce lay in the fact neither of them would relish the task.
As Caleb made his way through the narrow roads, he spared a thought to think about what he would do if Rafiq were waiting for them in Tuxtepec. He gripped the wheel tighter. He knew. That was the problem. He knew exactly what would happen.
Prepare her.
“It’s going to take us all day and part of tomorrow to reach our destination.” He relaxed his grip on the wheel and leaned into the back of his seat. He had to stop being soft with her. He had to make her tough, make her hard, and he knew better than most how the coldness of reality would sober any wide-eyed hopeful. The first step had been telling her the truth about her future, but he had to push her further. He had to make her understand. There was no future for them. “I suggest you take the time and wrap your mind around the seriousness of your situation. I forgive you for running away, but only because fate has done a better job of punishing you than I could.” Caleb kept his eyes forward, refusing to acknowledge the heartbroken girl next to him. He didn’t have to see her to know how much his words hurt her. An echo of her pain seemed to reverberate through him. At least, that’s what he wanted to believe it was – an echo.
He recalled the press of her lips against his scars. She kisses my scars and I create new ones for her.
“You’re still going through with it?” Kitten’s tone was anguished, but also angry and determined.
He told himself over and over: She’s plotting her revenge already. She’ll never care for you. If he reminded himself enough, perhaps he could get the truth through his head. So, he repeated the words like a mantra. She’s playing you. She’s just bidding time until she can be rid of you.
“I never said otherwise, Kitten. I’ve broken no promises to you,” Caleb replied, his tone harsh and unyielding. He had to slam the door shut on everything between them. It was the only way to move forward and ensure her survival. It’s your survival, too.
Caleb expected her sobs at any moment. It was their dance: she fought him, he hurt her, and she cried…he felt like shit. Repeat. He was surprised to hear the steel in her voice when she snapped at him.
“You promised me if I did as you asked, I would always come out better for it. Do you still believe that, Caleb? Do you really think selling me into sexual slavery, will make me better?”
“It’s done,” he said.
“Fuck you,” she spat.
Anger surged and flared on the heels of his guilt. He had promised her, but not in the way she proposed. “I mean to teach you how to survive this. I have always intended to arm you with what you’ll need. In that way, yes,” he hissed. “I’ll keep my promise. But I’ve made other promises as well – to someone who has earned my loyalty.”
“Am I supposed to earn your loyalty, Caleb?” She sneered at him. “Why? What about my loyalty? What have you done to earn that?” Caleb clenched his jaw. “You’re worse than those bikers,” she spat, her body tense and coiling, ready to attack. “At least they knew they were monsters. You’re pathetic! You’re a monster who imagines he’s something else.”
Heat surged up Caleb’s spine and radiated down toward his fingers. He held the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip. His first instinct was to hit her, to release the wheel, and slap her across the face, but what would it prove? Only that she was right, which of course, she was. Only a monster could do the things he’d done. Only a monster would have the instincts he had, and only a monster would feel indifferent to his nature, or try to rationalize it.
“I know what I am,” he said, calmly. “I’ve always known.”
He gave her a quick up and down look. She slouched back in her seat, as though his gaze were venom.
“It’s you, who thinks otherwise,” Caleb said. He watched Kitten flinch. His words apparently hurt her feelings, but they were the truth. The truth stung them both. She had seen him as something else, something she deemed better. For a little while, he’d shared her imagination. He had never realized how much it meant to him, until it was no longer true. No one had ever seen him as someone capable of being more and he had just hurt the one person who did.
It was just as well. He wanted to return to the time before he had ever known she existed, a time when his life was black and white, and the gray didn’t matter. He ached for the simplicity of his life, free of moral quandaries, guilt, shame, overbearing lust, and the worst sin of all, longing. He wanted to go to bed at night and know exactly what to expect when he woke up. He wanted Kitten out of his life and out of his head.
The space inside the vehicle was silent, but loud and clear. Caleb was glad to stare out of the windshield as stretches of road disappeared under them, taking them thousands of kilometers from that shower, their confessions, and all the possibilities of what might have been between them.
After a while, they finally ventured onto paved city roads. Civilization surrounded them. Caleb didn’t miss the way Kitten sat up straighter in her seat, her head turned to view everything passing her window. She raised her uninjured arm and pressed her palm to the window.
Caleb swallowed and ignored her, eyes front.
The sun was shining brightly, burning off what was left of the morning chill. Caleb reached for the air conditioner and set it low. He would roll down the windows when there weren’t quite so many people around to hear Kitten’s impassioned pleas for help. He had to get rid of the vehicle as well, just in case the doctor didn’t keep his word and the Federales were already looking for them. He had a few hundred U.S. dollars on him, and a few hundred pesos, courtesy of the doc. It wasn’t enough to bribe a cop, but plenty for your average trouble maker. Regardless, the sooner they arrived in Tuxtepec, the better. Caleb pulled into a roundabout and took the exit leading toward Chihuahua. He’d have to stop and get everything he needed near the city.
“I can’t change your mind, can I?” The soft spoken words pulled Caleb back into the car. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He didn’t want to talk. “This is all really happening. Isn’t it? And you’re going to let it happen…aren’t you?”
“Try and go to sleep, Kitten.” His voice was detached, wooden. “We have a long way to go.”
She wouldn’t relent, though her manner was casual and airy, as though she were only speaking aloud, not expecting an answer, “I admit…at first I thought…” she shrugged. “I thought you really were my ‘knight in shining armor’. Stupid, I know.”
Her ironic sadness, as she repeated Caleb’s words tried to make him feel guilt. Instead, he worked to ignore her. He didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of badgering him into an argument.
“I was so shocked when I saw you again. Shocked to discover…I thought you were a monster then. You terrified me. But now? Now, I don’t know how I feel about you,” she whispered.
Caleb gripped the wheel tighter with one hand and flipped on the stereo, flooding the vehicle with loud Banda music.
Kitten turned to face him, the once far-away look gone from her face and replaced by narrowed eyes and a mouth set into a stern line. She reached for the knob and switched the radio off. “So that’s your answer?”
Caleb took a deep breath and tried to control his anger, “You think you’re so fucking clever, don’t you?” He gave a mirthless, condescending laugh. “Do you honestly believe for one second I’m not aware of what you’re doing? You’re trying to make me feel guilty, trying to make me believe you have feelings for me.” She winced, her jaw clenching. “You know you’re trapped and you’re trying to find a way out. Trying to seduce me with your show of caring and sharing won’t work on me.” He scoffed when he saw the way Kitten feigned surprise and hurt. “You can drop the act. I’m not impressed. You’re attempts are laughably transparent.”
He anticipated her rage, braced for it, but he hadn’t given her enough credit. Instead of invective, Kitten attacked him with cold and resolute reason.
“You’re right, Caleb. I am trying to seduce you. I am trying to find a way out of this fucked up mess you’ve gotten me into. What else can I do? What would you do in my place?” There were no tears in her eyes, nor was there anger. There was only truth, and the truth was always more powerful. And painful, too.
Caleb knew exactly what he would do in her place, because he’d done it. There were times when he had tried to get men to help him, free him, and deliver him from Narweh’s treachery. He’d listened to the men who bought his body swear they loved him. He’d allowed himself to put stock into the endearments they whispered in his ear. But when it was over, when they’d taken all they could from him, they’d betrayed his trust to Narweh. He remembered the way his heart had broken when Narweh had used his own words to taunt him as he was beaten.
“I’m sorry I’m so bad at it. I’m sorry you find my attempts laughable, but I don’t know how to do it any better. You’re all I know. For what it’s worth, I’m not trying to make you believe anything. I’ve never lied to you. When I asked you to make love to me, it wasn’t a ploy, and it hurts like a bitch to hear you think otherwise, because –” her voice finally broke, tears bursting past her façade.
Caleb felt panic. He had no idea what to do. Her words, her presence, and her pain, affected him. He hated it. His memories, the ones he worked so hard to push deep into forgotten recesses of his mind, banged on the door of his consciousness. They connected with Livvie, they connected to her suffering, and together, they threatened to undo him.
A shuddering breath and Kitten seemed in better control of herself. She wiped at her eyes, took another breath and retreated to her side of the vehicle, her eyes once again focused on the world passing her by. Every now and again her chin trembled and she would take another breath to will her tears away.
She had more dignity than even she was aware of and Caleb decided, he would never again say otherwise. He wished he had never said it in the first place. His heart was racing, banging harshly in his chest and creating a thumping in his temples that made his head ache. His stomach was also affected, a strange kind of tingling pain churning in his gut.
He had an impulse to offer Kitten comfort, to tell her the truth: her attempts were anything but laughable. However, he knew telling her would be putting himself at an incredible disadvantage. Just acknowledging how much he wanted to comfort her was disconcerting. Still, the thought of hurting her any more than he already had, was too much – too much by far.
“Kitten, I –”
She leaned over and twisted the knob for the radio and the annoying voice of the announcer cut Caleb short. She avoided his eyes as she returned her focus to the window.
Caleb sighed in relief. He had no idea what the hell he had been about to say. The important thing for him to focus on was there would be no more talking for the moment. He wished he could say the same for the next twenty-four hours they would spend together on the road.
***
It had been an exhausting day. What should have been a nine hour drive had turned into twelve because Caleb had had to stop for Kitten every so often. With her bruised ribs and collarbone, she needed to stretch frequently, so he stopped along scouted roadways. When they reached the city of Zacatecas, Caleb had breathed a weary sigh and decided he could finally stop for the night and get some much needed sleep.
Kitten had spoken very little during the drive, which proved to be a great relief to Caleb. He had traded the doctor’s luxury sedan for a sturdy, but dented farming truck, and some groceries. It would offer quite the profit for the farmer, so he asked as few questions as possible, going so far as to pointedly ignore Kitten and her bruises.
She slept most of the way. The drugs in her system seemed to numb her pain, though it left her drowsy. Caleb made sure to keep a bottle of water next to her and also, that she drank from it whenever she was awake.
Zacatecas was a full-blown city, filled with hundreds of thousands of people, many of them tourists. Caleb took great care in finding a motel for them to spend the night. Kitten had said she wouldn’t run from him again, but the look in her eyes, whenever they passed American tourists with families, spoke differently. She would run again, given half the chance. Not that he could blame her. “I need to take a shower,” Caleb said into the silence of the room. “You can either sit in the bathroom with me, or I can tie you up. Option’s yours.”
Kitten stared at him hard. “Don’t trust me?” she taunted.
“Not when you’re looking at me like that, no.”
She sat stiffly on the edge of the bed, her anger emanating off of her like a toxic fog intent on choking him. “I told you I wouldn’t run. Go take your fucking shower and leave me alone.”
Caleb closed his eyes and took a deep breath to settle him. They were back to this. Well, he thought, this was just as good a time as any to reestablish the rules between them. When he opened his eyes, a warm tingle drifted down his spine and he finally felt like himself again. His gaze fell on the girl and he smiled when she flinched.
“Get up,” he said calmly, the threat in his voice muted but still present. The girl looked at him for a moment and swallowed harshly. It was obvious her anger had quickly turned to fear.
“Caleb?” Her voice was small, meek.
“Get up. Now.”
Slowly, Kitten cast her eyes toward the floor and stood on trembling legs. In fact, her entire body trembled. Caleb, at last, felt no remorse, no pity for the girl in front of him. She was his to do with as he pleased. The thought was an aphrodisiac on its own.
“Strip,” was his command and the girl flinched though his words had been softly spoken. A whimper escaped her lips, but she didn’t hesitate to follow his command. Slowly, she reached for the waistline of the flowing skirt Caleb had selected for her to wear and pushed it down over her hips until it pooled at her feet.
She ignored the panties and slid her trembling fingers to the top button of her blouse, there were more whimpers, but Caleb ignored them. He watched, painfully aroused by the adrenaline coursing through him as she gingerly let each button slip through its hole until she reached the bottom. The fabric parted, exposing a tantalizing line of flesh between her naked breasts. She looked up at him briefly, eyes pleading.
“Off with it.”
“Caleb…”
“That!” he growled with menace, “is not how you address me. Do it again and I’ll not forgive you.”
Kitten began to weep, but still stood. “Yes…. Please…don’t….”
“I gave you a choice. If you cannot make it, then I will make choices for you. Understood?”
She sniffled, “Yes…Master.” The words seemed painful for her to say, but Caleb cared nothing for her pain at the moment. She had defied him for the last time. He watched dispassionately as she slid the shirt from her shoulders and the panties from her legs. She stood, shaking and sobbing, but finally compliant.
“Kneel!” he barked for the sake of watching her scramble to obey. He smiled as her knees hit the threadbare carpet and her hands went to cup her breasts to hide them from view. His heart raced and he nearly groaned at the touch of his palm against his erection, trapped inside his pants.
He stepped slowly and deliberately toward her, watching with sadistic pleasure as she closed her eyes and her lips moved; she made no sound. He pulled at the tie holding her hair back, letting her long, dark mane cascade down her naked body, but hiding nothing.
“Do you remember what happened the night you decided to scream out my name?” he asked casually. The girl sobbed as she nodded. He lifted a piece of her hair and wound it around his hand, each turn bringing his hand closer to her scalp and tugging softly, but with ominous implication. “If I wanted you to nod, I’d move your fucking head myself. Answer…please.”
Kitten’s chest heaved with the force of her sob, but the answer came through, “Yes, Master.” Caleb undid the top button of his pants, jeans, pilfered from the good doctor. “Oh. No. Please, no, Master. Please, no.”
“Don’t speak unless it’s to answer a question you’ve been asked!” Kitten became silent, lips pressed together. “Breathe through your mouth; the last thing I want is for you to pass out without my permission.” She gasped, but didn’t speak. “How did I punish you?”
The words seemed to affect her like a physical blow and she pulled away from his hand, panicked, but with no place to go. Caleb pulled her hair hard enough to force her back into position, but not hard enough to injure. “Answer me.”
“You…you…I can’t!” she sobbed.
“Answer the question!”
“You fucked me!”
Caleb slid his zipper down slowly, drawing the moment out for the benefit of them both. “Yes, I fucked you. Right in your sexy little asshole.” She gasped at his words, her face a puffy mess from her open-mouthed sobbing. “Did you like it?”
She shook her head, “No, Master. No.”
Caleb tsked and brought her head toward his erection, still secure in his underwear, but undoubtedly hot against her skin nonetheless. “Liar. You came more than you had a right to. I know because I felt you, hot and clutching at my cock, begging me to come inside you. Isn’t that right?”
The girl shook her head, no, but she whispered, “Yes, Master.”
Memories played through Caleb’s mind as a series of erotic flashes. He remembered how good it had felt to be buried inside her and feel her push against him. It would be so easy to have her again, to have her in any way he wanted and to bring her to the heights of unbearable ecstasy until she no longer knew how pain or pleasure differed. However, he had a different point to make.
“What is your name?”
“Kitten!” she shouted without hesitation.
“To whom do you belong?”
“To, you,” she sobbed.
“Yes. To me. Now, tell me what I could do with you?” His tone was urgent.
“I don’t know!”
“You do know! Tell me.”
“Cal–”
“Don’t you dare! I am not your lover. I am not your friend! Who am I?”
“Master! You’re my…. I want to stop. Please make it stop.”
“Answer my question, what could I do with you?”
“Anything! Fucking anything!” she sobbed wetly.
“Yes, I could do anything to you. I could throw you face down and fuck you until you can’t stand and there would be nothing you could do about it. You’re beaten, bruised and damn near broken. I could kill you. Those bikers could have killed you, but you keep provoking!”
“No! No, Master.”
“Are you prideful?”
“No, Master.”
“No?”
“Yes! Yes, Master, I’m prideful. I’m sorry!”
“Is your pride worth the situation you are in?”
Caleb let her go and watched as she placed her hands on the floor and cried with her head bowed. “No, Master.”
He’d done what he set out to do. “Exactly, Kitten. Your pride isn’t worth it. It’s not worth the pain. It’s not worth the torture me, or anyone else, could put you through. It sure as fuck isn’t worth your life. Be smart! Fight the battles you can win and accept the ones you can’t. That’s how you survive.” That’s how you avoid being tied to a fucking mattress and soaked in your own blood.
“I’m sorry! Please…just stop. Don’t be this way anymore. I can’t stand it! I can’t stand being with you and not knowing who you are from one moment to the next!” Kitten cried.
Caleb buttoned his pants and crouched with one knee on the floor and pulled Kitten into his arms. She offered no resistance, her arms wound around his neck as though she had been desperate for them to be there all along and she sobbed into his neck.
“I like you so much better when you’re like this,” she whispered as she pressed her lips to his neck softly, over and over as though she sought to calm him, when it was her in need of calming.
“What you like or don’t like is irrelevant, Kitten,” he answered, gently. She went still, not tense, just lax. “That’s what you need to start expecting.” Without another word, Caleb lifted her into his arms and carried her into the bathroom. They both needed to rinse the day away.
They would start fresh in the morning.
