I snuggled into his chest even as I heard a little voice squealing from the kitchen area.
Chest?
Snuggled?
I snapped one eye open and realized I was tangled up on the couch with Bastian.
His strong tattooed arms held my waist like a vise, and his scruff nestled into my neck.
Goosebumps flew across my skin as he exhaled right on a sensitive spot near my collar bone.
My God, the man smelled good even in the morning and he felt even better with all his muscles up against mine.
He must have covered us up because thankfully, the warmth of a blanket was draped all the way up to my shoulders. It hid what was happening underneath which was a win, considering Ivy might have seen my thigh wrapped right around Bastian’s midsection. The way his hand was gripping it right near my ass was a little too X-rated for a four-year-old.
In the kitchen, Ivy squealed at Cade, who seemed to be putting together breakfast as I tried to quietly extricate myself from Bastian.
How could I have fallen asleep on him and then climbed him like that in the middle of the night?
And I’d lost my mind completely, trying to get myself off.
Except, God, I’d needed it.
In my defense, the files probably pushed my subconscious to its limits. It needed an outlet. I hadn’t surfed or hooked up with Bradley or done anything to relieve stress in days.
So, I’d done this instead. He could have indulged too. I wouldn’t have minded.
My thigh brushed up against Bastian’s length and I found myself biting my lip. I hadn’t forgotten how that felt inside me.
I whimpered a little at the thought of him licking his fingers clean last night and knowing I’d have to be around him for six months without any relief.
Bastian’s hand squeezed my thigh, and his eyes snapped open. All honey and molasses and caramel colored goodness.
“Whimpering when your body is against me, Morina, is asking for me to give you something to whimper about.”
Jesus. His voice. “Oh, my God. This is unfair,” I whispered and poked him in the chest.
“What?”
“I shouldn’t ever have to wake up to a man when I’m not getting all of him. And why does the man have to be you with your voice dripping in sex first thing in the morning?”
A rumble that must have been a laugh came from him.
I licked my lips, even more frustrated that his laugh sounded as good as it did. I shifted, ready to push off him and get up, but his hand squeezed my thigh again, signaling for me not to move.
I stared at him and then my eyes bounced between the kitchen and him. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to sift through the part of my brain that is screaming that I need to take you to my room for a second alone with my fiancé.”
“Oh my God. What happened to me trusting you or the fact that not too long ago you told my grandma I was a little girl that no one would want?” We needed to de-escalate in any way we could.
“You know damn well I didn’t mean that little girl comment when you were riding my dick not weeks before, Morina. I just licked your pussy from my fingers last night.” He slid his hand right up to it.
I shouldn’t have even been contemplating sleeping with him. That was the problem with morning grogginess though. Some part of the human conscious was still sleeping and the animalistic, basic need side of you was ready to fulfill all desires.
I rolled my hips on him, and his eyes flared. Caramel and chocolate turned to lava and fire.
“Uncle Bastian!” Ivy screamed when she rounded the couch and saw us both awake but still under the covers. “Breakfast time and then we get to go fly on carpets and ride fast boats and Uncle Cade said there’s a pirate ship battle we’ll get to see!”
At the mention of his name, his hand flew from my ass and his eyes turned right back to honey while he watched his niece vibrating with excitement. I scooted off him while being kind enough to leave the bunched up sheet on his lap. I straightened my night top as I hopped off the couch. “I’m just going to go freshen up and shower. You guys eat without me.”
The shower was where I got myself back together. I let the water run over me and reminded myself I needed to get back on a board after I finished reading that file. Supposedly, I had meetings and galas to attend soon according to the papers. We’d have to put on our married game faces and falling down a rabbit hole of lust with Bastian wouldn’t be good for either of us.
He was right.
I couldn’t risk us indulging emotions, especially when the city needed me to iron out the company’s future.
This was a good first step.
I would be seen out and about with Bastian and his family. That would mean something.
“Hey, do I need to wear something better than this?” I asked as I came back out to the kitchen, suddenly concerned about being photographed.
“Why would you ask that?” Bastian growled.
Cade studied me though. “That’ll do just fine.”
“What are you talking about?” Bastian swung his gaze at his brother.
“They’re going to judge her with you.” Cade shrugged and handed me a plate of eggs and bacon.
“Thank you.” I eyed the perfectly cooked bacon that had just enough grease to make my mouth water. “This looks amazing.”
“It’s just eggs and bacon.” Cade chuckled. “My mom would have scorned us if she saw what Bastian had in his fridge to feed you, honestly.”
“Shut up.” Bastian grabbed a plate without saying thank you to his brother.
“Mom would be mad. You and I both know it.”
Bastian and Cade, two men I swear could have melted the hearts of all the women in the world, stared each other down. The story of their family was one I wondered about. Curiosity was a bitch I needed to keep in line though. It wouldn’t serve me well.
Ivy leaned over and whispered, “Daddy says Bastian doesn’t like talking about his mommy because she’s not here anymore. Bastian doesn’t have a daddy either.” She ran her hand down my face as if soothing me could soothe Bastian too.
I glanced at him, but his eyes were trained on his little niece.
“I like talking about her, bambina. Don’t say that, huh? I loved her very much. I just don’t talk about her because she’s gone now.”
“He means she’s dead, Morina,” she informed me as if I didn’t know.
I shoved more eggs in my mouth so that I didn’t have to be a part of this conversation.
“And I guess when people die, Bastian doesn’t talk about them anymore.” Ivy frowned at her uncle. “We aren’t supposed to talk about them, right, Uncle Bastian?”
Cade smirked and folded his arms. “Yeah, Bastian, please explain that to us. I’d like to know too.”
Bastian’s jaw worked up and down and up and down. Before he answered, he grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and chugged a few sips. He slammed it down harder onto the granite countertop than necessary. “Ivy, my mother was a really nice lady. She loved my daddy and us more than life itself. When your daddy would come over, she’d make cannoli and we’d sit with her and laugh and laugh. She was very nice. But she and passed away. We have to move on.”
“But she’s your momma.” Ivy sounded so confused that I put my arm around her and glared at Bastian who in turn glared at me.
“And I have family here now that she’d want me to enjoy, huh? Let’s eat.” His command held no room for argument.
Maybe Bastian was more broken than I’d originally thought. His brother lowered his eyes and I did too.
We ate in silence until Cade announced the drivers were there. The elevator took us to the car I thought we would all pile into, but two black SUVs awaited us, surrounded by security guards and men in black suits. I froze, not sure if I was going to die right there.
I glanced at Bastian and he rolled his eyes like he knew my thoughts. “They’re just here to walk the park with us. We got Katie’s kid and she’s infamous in certain parts. She wants her child protected.”
“Jeez,” I whispered. That was momma bear on another level. Yet, every aspect of this excursion was getting more and more stressful. “Are all of you that infamous?”
“In some circles, yes.” He hesitated, like he was weighing what to tell me. “You know we’ll be photographed today. The theme park with my family is good though. It will solidify our relationship. No one will bother you after today.”
We got there in good time considering it was a few hours’ drive. Bastian groaned about us not taking the jet most of the way. “It takes away from the experience,” Cade told him.
“Get real. You haven’t had a real experience in decades with your head in that phone.”
His grin was one of a Cheshire cat. “You’d be surprised, brother.”
When we arrived at the park, the SUV dropped us at the line for people who already had tickets. When we had to scan in, they took our fingerprints.
My normal life didn’t involve my heart beating fast about getting in somewhere. If they said no, we’d go to the other line and buy tickets. Just more waiting. Cade’s skills must have been golden though because we got that green light and went through the gate without a hitch.
Ivy danced around us in a little dress that fluffed out at her waist. I eyed it. “Who got her that outfit?”
Cade shrugged. “She’s got a million dresses back home like this. I packed a few for her.”
“You’re the perfect uncle, I think.” I elbowed him and he nodded.
“I probably would have been the perfect husband too. Sorry you got stuck with my brother.”
Bastian grumbled as we walked in but didn’t pay us much mind. He was probably just happy he didn’t have to make small talk with me.
“I see the castle! I see the castle!” Ivy screeched. “I’m going to be a princess! I’m going to be a princess!”
Bastian and Cade stared out at the park and I think the gravity of it hit us all at the same time. People were swarming in and out every which way like herds needing water.
“Have you ever been to this park?” I took a deep breath.
The guys shook their heads but Cade grabbed Ivy’s hand with a smile and they skipped ahead.
Before we could continue our conversation, he looked back at us. “Phones on. I’m going to get a stroller for our princess here. We’ll do some rides and meet up soon.”
“Why don’t we just go with him?” I asked Bastian, but my wonderful arranged partner was already waving them goodbye.
“We’ve already got eyes on us. We need to play up that we’re having a good time together.”
“What?” I glanced around. I didn’t see anyone who looked suspicious. There weren’t any cameras in bushes or people holding microphones like they were going to come ask us a question. “I don’t see any cameramen, Bastian.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, and I waited for him to calm down.
The crowd fanned out around us as they entered the park. The place was big but still not large enough to accommodate the massive swarm of excited theme park fans. People were dressed in character, some ran in like they needed to catch the best rides, and others snapped picture after picture of the castle in the distance.
“Most use phones now. And there are underground gangs, crews, other businessmen following us. They want evidence and the media want photos.”
My eyes darted uncontrollably around, trying to spot spies.
“You won’t see them, Morina. Cade’s good at security and so he just knows.”
“So when he said I looked nice today…” I trailed off realizing my question had been stupid.
“He means you look like you should. We’re just supposed to be dating. Hand holding and what not, okay?”
“I don’t know if I want to hold your hand.”
“Sure you do. We can go shopping together and try out a ride or two.”
“Have you ever even been here? Do you like these things?”
“I didn’t go to theme parks growing up and didn’t have time for them as an adult.”
“I’m sorry about your mother,” I said softly. “I know that doesn’t really help to say because people have said it to me over and over again. Sometimes I want to punch them or scream that words don’t help. Still, I don’t know what else to say.”
He nodded and pulled out some sunglasses from his suit pocket. It was a great way to mask that emptiness every orphaned child felt. “I’m older now. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore.”
“Were you close to her?”
Chewing his cheek and sticking his fists in his pockets told me before he answered. “My mother held the family together. We were actually pretty happy and normal with her there. My father took her soul though and sucked her dry until I found her with a bottle of pills on the bathroom floor.”
I cleared my throat. My heart hurt for him like it hurt for myself. “She OD’ed.”
“She died of a broken heart and a man as evil as the devil took her life. My father deserved to rot in hell just for that.” Bastian murmured the words but they came out violent and full of hate.
“Then, I hope he is.” I patted his shoulder as he stared off into the theme park.
“If he wasn’t, he’s rolling in his grave now seeing me reconstruct his whole empire and make it mine.”
“For your mother then?” I asked and did a fake cheers. “Guess we’re going to be saying these vows for her?”
He chuckled. “Sure, Morina. Sure.” Although his aviators were reflective, I felt his gaze snap to mine. “How did your parents die?”
I stepped back, not wanting to discuss them either. “Their bus crashed.”
He hummed. “Death is a fucker. I’m sorry you lost them too. Did they ever take you to the park?”
“No.” I sighed, not ready to share with him that my parents had been addicts. People judged them too quickly, not realizing that they’d still loved me when they were around. It wasn’t much, but it was something. “I don’t know that we didn’t have the time to go. I just didn’t have parents that–”
“Left town?” He chuckled, thinking my parents had been just like me.
“No. They left all the time.” The admission was a painful one because they blamed me for their leaving. I heard the fights at night with my grandmother about how I was too hyper, too much to handle. Sure, they loved me and I loved them, but they needed a break. My grades were mediocre and teaching me anything drained them.
They got a break by partying, doing drugs, and leaving town.
Every time they left, my grandma assured me it wasn’t because of me. Yet, it had to be. Why else would so many parents stay where mine always left? The reports from school every semester were the same. Attention issues. It turned my stomach sour just thinking about it.
I went to stick a hand in my pocket to grab a crystal, but Bastian caught the hand and threaded my fingers with his.
“What now? I didn’t piss you off already, did I?”
I cleared my throat and watched the large carousel of unicorns with families riding it round and round. “I don’t talk about them much.”
“I understand that.” He squeezed my hand and I wasn’t sure if it was for the cameras somewhere or because he wanted to comfort me. “I don’t talk about my father and mother either.”
“I could tell from what you said to Ivy.” I threw the joke out but it didn’t land at all how I wanted. “I’m sorry. It’s…you actually did great with her today. You make a great uncle.”
“You do great with her too. You like kids, I can tell. Do you want them one day?”
The questions he asked felt like he really wanted to know me, like we were becoming friends. “I do. I loved the time I had with my parents when they were there. Sure, I have resentment some days about random things but I loved some of my time with them. I want to drag my kid out at sunrise like my dad with me some day.”
He hummed. “You’ll be good at it.”
“You would too.” I nudged him as we walked. “Seriously, Ivy loves you.”
“I always try to be honest with her.” He shrugged. “My parents weren’t always honest with me. It’s what ended my father’s life.”
That made me freeze and stare up at him. He waited, staring right back. I wouldn’t ask the question, not even if he wanted me to. I knew what it was like to be asked about my parents. Were they high when their bus crashed? Did I miss them even if they were never there in the first place? Of course they must have been drinking, right?
None of it mattered.
They were gone.
“Well, it’s good we’re here.” I turned back toward the castle, covered in lights that made it shine in broad daylight. “Let’s see what the universe throws at us.”
“The universe isn’t concerned with us, piccola ragazza.” He pointed toward a rollercoaster and we made our way over.
The finality of his words sank in. Bastian didn’t think I was big enough for the universe to care about, but every speck on this planet moved the universe in a different direction.
