Bastian was talking to me over his food about the gala. Three days until then. More acting or faking. At this point, it was him faking and me getting completely and utterly confused.
And even so, I couldn’t seem to focus on his words.
The man made pasta.
With his big, bare hands. He’d smiled at me when I said I wanted to learn and he’d asked about the recipes for my smoothies.
Then his phone rang and he didn’t bother getting it. He silenced it instead, like I was more than his business.
I got up put the dishes in the dishwasher, but he followed and helped rinse them off before stacking them into the machine. His body was close when he asked if I wanted to watch a movie.
I pressed the dishwasher button and when I turned to look at him, his eyes were all ooey gooey chocolate colored and his lips begged for me to lean in.
I could have run down a list of reasons why I shouldn’t, but I didn’t think about the negatives or hesitate in life. I just went for it.
Quick decisions.
I took his lips in my mouth and pulled him closer by the collar of his shirt.
Maybe I expected him to pick me up and lay me out on the counter and ravage me. I definitely expected him to at least wrap his arms around me.
He did neither.
After a moment of him letting me kiss him, I pulled back.
“You kissed me.” He said it almost like a question with a slight hitch in his voice. But somehow it was also a statement.
Normally, I didn’t turn red, my blush would be hard to see under my sun-kissed skin but I knew he could see it now. It rose from my chest to my cheeks, burning with embarrassment.
“I… I’m sorry. I just thought…”
He rubbed at his lips and his frown led me to my own conclusions.
I rushed out an explanation. “It’s just you’ve been here these past couple days. I mean, I went to a theme park with you. We kissed.”
He nodded. “We kissed for the cameras, Morina.”
“I know that was for show. But we slept on that stupid couch together and you…well, you know! I know it was because of me and being sexually frustrated and…oh, my God, I don’t know. The freaking pasta and there was something in the air.”
He tried to speak again but I was on a rant now. “I felt cooped up and then we surfed and, Bastian, you were decent at failing out on that board. And then I thought I wanted to tell you stuff about my family, and normally I would have just done it because we know I just do everything, but I didn’t. That’s a large sign something’s off for me.”
He stared at me. “So you kissed me?”
“It wasn’t a good idea!” I threw my hands out and beelined to the fridge and reached on top of it for my lighter. I needed a scent in the air to calm myself down or something. “But I’m just here and you’re here and I keep thinking, well, I can go to the food truck and work and get away from you, but if I go to the food truck, is a mobster going to come there and ransack it? And if I go surfing is someone going to drown me if you’re not there? I know that sounds ludicrous but, well, is it?”
He stared at me like he was waiting for me to work it all out for myself.
I leaned in and whispered, “Those stocks are worth a ton of money, Bastian. Millions.”
“Yes, Morina. How do you think your grandmother had the majority vote? With thousands of dollars’ worth?”
“Well, okay, in my defense, I didn’t think she had any vote until the day of the will hearing.” I wanted to smack him for being logical. “And then I guess I just didn’t put two and two together. I–”
“You avoided it because the idea scared you.”
“Don’t say that like it’s what I do all the time. I do everything and anything. I go with the flow.”
“Until you’re scared of the flow.”
“I resent that statement because I’m doing this fake marriage stupid plan with you even though it scares the ever living hell out of me. My gut said no. I usually go with my gut. And can I just say, it hasn’t been a walk in the park, okay? I just…you were gone and I felt alone and now you’re here and it feels like you’re everywhere. You’re just everywhere and nowhere at the same time. You’re in my space with your food and your voice and your body everywhere and I had a very healthy sex life with Bradley and guys that were–”
“I’m going to stop you right there.” His jaw was granite, sharp edged and flexed. “I don’t need to know about your sexual history, Mo.” He sounded mad, and maybe even a little disgusted.
“Well, I’m just trying to explain. Normally, Bradley comes over or I go out. This is a tourist town, mostly. Men want a fling and I enjoy–”
“Stop.” It was yet another time I heard more emotion in his voice than his usual stoic persona. He pulled at the collar of his shirt and then rubbed his forehead. “Maybe you need an outlet.”
I narrowed my eyes. What he could possibly mean by that? Did he want to be the outlet?
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I considered grabbing it while he went down on me and was immediately okay with the idea of him stepping in for a roll in the hay.
“I’m serious,” he grumbled. “I can’t have you around me ready to go all the time without delivering on it.”
What a dick! I glared at him as I set a hand on my hip, ready to give him hell.
He covered my mouth before he leaned in, taking a step closer. Suddenly we were chest to chest, body to body. I had to look up to meet his eyes. My embarrassment at his words deteriorated as I felt the length of him against my stomach. He was long, thick, and rock hard.
He whispered in my ear as he retracted his hand, “Maybe I need an outlet too, okay?”
I bit my lip to keep myself from doing something stupid again. He was so close. I breathed in while he breathed out. Both of us were fighting an attraction we really didn’t need.
Especially when his attraction was probably only because I was a warm woman who’d come on to him.
His allies and his business associates came first. He lived his life based on rules and I lived mine on desire. We were a match made in hell. Tonight, when I lit my candles, I’d remind my grandma of her terrible matchmaking skills.
He took a deep breath and in turn my chest rose with my own inhale. His pupils dilated as he glanced down. My shirt left little to the imagination while his dick twitching against my stomach had my imagination running wild.
He picked at one of my tangled waves. “I guess no one really knows what’s going on.”
He mulled it over and I watched how he tried to remain completely professional. He dropped my hair and stuck his hands in his pockets. “It could work. You’ve been in and out of the penthouse. We’ve had a whirlwind relationship so the tabloids have said. Let’s draw attention by attending the gala separately and you do what you want beforehand.”
“Okay.” I drew out the word, frustrated that he was distancing himself rather than just fucking me on the countertop.
If he was willing to go and discreetly do something with other people, we could go ahead and really cause a scene. I glared at him. “Why don’t we just actually go to the event with whoever we like? You can get your fix, and I can get mine. I’ll take Bradley.”
His face hardened. “Bradley?” Did he feel the frustration too all of a sudden? He cleared his throat and his features. “If that’s what you want to do.”
I’m sure my eyes widened. I spun away from him and grabbed a wipe to clean the counter. I needed something to do to get rid of this ball of tension building in my gut. “So, I’ll just ask him then. We can do whatever we want discreetly beforehand. It’ll be perfect.”
“Perfect?” he whispered like he was shocked at my line of thought. He’d started them though. He could end them too with just a few words.
Just ask me to go with you.
I stared at him, and he licked his lips. The man was holding steady to his original plan of us not being together and this being an easy six months.
I guessed the six months would be a bit harder with us attracted to one another.
“Okay, do you have a plan for the end of the night? Want to profess your love after seeing me with another man or something?”
“That would actually be believable,” he murmured, but he wasn’t looking at me anymore. “You should attend with whoever we like. The date will end with us together though. Do what you want discreetly beforehand. I’ll ask you to marry me by the end of the night publicly.”
“Just me?” I pointed to him. “You should bring someone too.”
His whole face contorted like I was ridiculous. “I don’t want to bring anyone, Morina.”
“Oh, like you don’t have some woman you can bring? This is good for us.” I was convincing myself and him at the same time. “I need you to bring someone, Bastian. It’s only fair that we both get some and have an outlet.”
His jaw worked up and down, up and down. “This isn’t going to end well.”
“Of course it will,” I said it with confidence. “And once we’re well into the six months, we can separate officially. It can be public enough that we can date other people. That can still work right?”
He sighed and pulled at his neck before he answered. “If people know we respect and care for one another, everything will be fine. You’ll always be an Untouchable. We can discuss the oil company and I’ll go through the rest of the file with you. I’m happy to take you to the terminals and show you what I have planned for them too.”
I shut my eyes. Bastian was appeasing me and compromising for the good of the company. His words twisted my gut into a ball of frustration and something that felt a lot like a letdown. Why had I wanted him to say we could get together instead? We’d done it once before. Why not just do it again?
I’d kissed him. I’d scared him off and instead of wanting anything more with me, he wanted to distance himself with others in between us.
It was the right thing to do. Logical even.
Still… “I don’t need protection like this, Bastian. It feels like we’re both sacrificing so much now. If you’re worried about me, I’m fine. The sheriff knows about the break in at the food trucks and I can…I don’t need you to sacrifice just for my protection–”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” He lifted my chin and waited for me to open my eyes. Why was it that whenever he was nice to me, he looked just about my age, just about as mature as me, like we could be together, like he was a man I would be attracted to? “It was my decision to get engaged to you. I want this company to thrive and I want a hand in it. We can sleep with other people and still be married. Couples do that all the time.”
The coldness of his words, how he so easily tossed me aside even if I’d given him the go ahead had me nodding my head.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” He narrowed his dark eyes and searched mine. I turned away and grabbed a glass from the cupboard to get some water. I needed him to back up, which he did immediately. Without him near me, I would be able to think more logically.
“Yeah. I think it’s a great idea.” I downed the liquid and set the glass by the sink. Then, I stalked off to my room.
I texted Bradley and confirmed he would be my date to the gala.
The wheels were in motion.
I just hoped my heart wouldn’t get derailed.
