COLTON
She hopes I’m happy? I’m fucking furious. I don’t hear a thing Benson is saying to me, but I can tell he’s becoming angrier by the minute. I blink, and the volume finally returns. “What?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he rasps, burying his fingers in his hair. “What’s wrong with you, Thompson? Did you even hear what I said?”
“No.” I glance over his shoulder and realize that his sister isn’t here anymore. Did she leave to follow her friend? “What do you want?”
“Leave her the fuck alone.” He takes a step closer and stares at me. “For whatever stupid reason, you chose Ava as your target, and I’m telling you to stop. I mean it.”
“My target?” I frown, looking around the room. It’s not just Layla who is absent, apparently. Only Clay is still in the room, standing near the door with his arms crossed. Did he send everyone away? I honestly feel lost, and I don’t understand what is going on around me. Time froze the moment she decided to proceed with my dare.
“Colton, stop acting like an imbecile.” Benson heaves a sigh. “You figured out we had sex—”
“Figured? I freaking saw you leave together.” I bark loudly, and he scowls at me. “I fucking knew since the first party, when you gave all of us that bullshit about her being off-limits.”
“How the hell does it concern you? It’s between Ava and me. No one else.” He points his finger at me, poking me in my chest. “Why do you care what she’s doing?”
“I can’t stand her.” I ball my fists. “She lies and then goes on about her loyalty to your sister. It’s hypocrisy at its highest level, because if you’re loyal, you don’t keep secrets from your best friend.”
“It was just sex, nothing else. Layla would have flipped. She’d be planning our wedding and suggesting names for our kids. That’s why neither of us wanted to share the news with her.” Benson’s voice drops an octave lower. “And you’re the biggest hypocrite of all, Thompson.”
“How am I a hypocrite? Don’t put your issues on me, Benson. You were fucking around with your friend, with your sister’s best friend, while calling her family. Just suck it up and own it.”
Suddenly, a grin forms on his lips. He takes a step back, as if he wants to get a better look at me. “Why didn’t I notice it before?” Drake chortles, running a palm over his face. “You know I fucked Ava? Well, genius, I saw you dance with her. Throwing a tantrum just because the girl you want chose another guy?”
I start laughing because his words are ridiculous. “I don’t want that girl. I don’t even like her. She’s just annoyed the fuck out of me since the day I met her. Nothing else.”
“Keep telling yourself that; maybe you will start to believe it.” he exclaims, turning around and heading to the door. He stops near Clay, and they nod at one another. Then, Benson looks at me over his shoulder. “I hope I made myself clear. Leave her the fuck alone, Colton.”
I roll my eyes, finding this whole situation infuriating. This party turned into complete shit. Where the hell is everyone? Why did they leave? Did I scare them all away revealing the truth about Benson and his chick?
“Colt?”
I lock eyes with my best friend, and he dips his head in the direction of the exit. “Are we leaving?” I ask, grabbing my phone from the couch and shoving it in my pocket.
“Let’s go for a walk. You need some fresh air.” I arch my eyebrow at him. “Colt, just—let’s go. I’m sure you don’t want to stay here any more than I do.”
Well, here’s the thing. I want to stay. I haven’t done anything wrong. My teammates are here, and I was honestly enjoying my time until I saw… The thought sinks in, and my shoulders slump. I growl in frustration and march to the door, walking past my best friend. I need to clear my head and find a way to get rid of everything the girl awakens within me. I can’t continue acting how I tend to act.
I have never been a friendly person, always keeping my distance. I have hated almost everyone except the people closest to me and the guys I played hockey with in high school. My family drama has made it worse. Clay, my teammates, and a few people from class are the only ones I get along with. From time to time. Now it looks like this girl’s presence makes it impossible to be friendly to anyone. Even my teammates.
“How long have you known?” Clay joins me on the porch, but I keep silent. I hide my hands in my pockets, and go down the stairs. “Colton.”
“You said I need some fresh air,” I retort, not looking back to see if he’s coming or not.
“Why the hell am I friends with such an egocentric jerk?” I hear his steps. A moment later he’s by my side, and we’re walking shoulder to shoulder down the street. “How long have you known, Colt?”
“Since the first party.”
“What? But why did you…” Clay grows quiet, contemplating his next words. “How did you know?”
“I’m observant.”
“Nah, man, you’ve been hiding this shit from me for almost two months. I want answers.” He punches me in my shoulder, and I wince, cracking a smile nonetheless. “How?”
“Dunno. Benson’s behavior at that first party was suspicious. Like why the fuck is she off-limits? She’s just a friend, a neighbor kid, as he said. I watched them together, how they acted around each other. I thought maybe he was just an overprotective friend. But then I saw how he looked at her when she was dancing alone, and it started to make more sense.” These memories become vivid in my mind. The sounds and the smells come back to me, and I clench my jaw, wishing them out of my system.
“But it was just suspicions,” Clay mutters. “Right?”
“Well, yes and no. When he stormed out of the party after I kicked her out, I asked him if Layla knew about them.” Then I tell him everything that’s happened since.
Looking around, I wonder how far my apartment is from here. I wouldn’t mind going to bed. My head is killing me.
“Colt?” A clap on my shoulder brings me back to reality. I glare at my best friend, but he only grins at me. “We’re in the middle of a very intriguing story, but you keep spacing out. You’re no fun, bro.”
“I just think I’m ready to call it a night.”
“Let’s go to your place.” He doesn’t even suggest or ask; he assumes he’s welcome anytime. “I’ll crash on your couch.”
“Whatever you want,” I grunt as we trudge down the street.
“Thompson, I swear, you’re making it really hard for me,” Clay whines loudly, and a smile haunts my lips. “Don’t make me feel like I’m pulling teeth while all I want is for you to tell me everything.”
“There is not much to tell. They were both giving me mixed signals, like one second I believed them, the other I was sure they were both liars. The last party was a breaking point.” I swallow the lump in my throat as an uneasy feeling settles in my chest.
“I didn’t expect that from Drake. He’s our team captain. Everyone loves him because he’s a good guy.”
“He is a good one. Fucking his sister’s best friend doesn’t make him a bad boy all of a sudden.” Clay gives me a look. “Dude, consent is a thing. He didn’t force himself on her; he didn’t manipulate her into sex. She wanted it.”
“How can you be so sure?” My best friend grimaces as if he has a toothache.
“Did you see how she kissed him? If anything, those two trust each other.”
“I think he likes her,” he rumbles. Then he squints at me. “Do you think she likes him?”
Do I think she likes him? Hell, I hope she doesn’t, but who am I to say it aloud? I’m the asshole she hates. “I don’t know. She’s not easy to read.”
“Aw, come on, man. Give me something.” Clay drapes his hand over my shoulder.
“I-I don’t think she likes him in that way.”
“Uh-huh. Do you like her in that way?” he asks, and I halt in my tracks.
“I don’t. The only reason I did what I did is because I hate liars.”
“And yet you lie,” Clay says, holding my gaze. “I have never ever seen you so riled up over a chick.”
“Exactly. I have never met someone who doesn’t give a shit about me and isn’t afraid to tell me to fuck off or slap me across my face. She’s the first one, and I’m not handling the disrespect too well.”
Clay looks me over, and then he smirks. “Ava is confident, knows her worth, and keeps her chin up most of the time. I think growing up with Benson taught her not to pee her pants when hockey players waltz into her life. She looks at us like totally ordinary people.”
“You sound like a real snob,” I say, feeling the tension disappear. He doesn’t suspect anything. “We are ordinary people—”
Clay cuts me off, making a face. “Sportsmen are elite: hockey, football, basketball, baseball, soccer, just name it. College sportsmen especially. How you don’t notice it is beyond me.”
“I just don’t care what people think about me most of the time.” I yawn.
“More like ever,” he snorts, slapping my back. “Even if you’re an asshole, I still love you man. You’re like the brother I never had.”
“Same.” I smile at him. We’re near my building now. “I have no idea what you want to do once we’re upstairs, but I’m going to bed.”
“I wonder where Ava and Layla went,” Clay suddenly says. “Thanks to the stunt you pulled, Ava has a lot of explaining to do. You’re damn well her least favorite person on campus.”
“I don’t fucking care.” I laugh, hiding my uneasiness behind it.
Liar, liar, pants on fire, Colton. You definitely care, and that’s a huge problem.
It’s Wednesday, and I haven’t seen Ava for a whole week. It’s like she disappeared and doesn’t go to this college anymore. That’s not the case at all, since I know Clay is hanging out with her any chance he gets: during lunch breaks, cornering her in the hallways, walking her to her dorm. They are friendly to each other, but nothing else.
Layla, on the other hand, is always in my face. She’s everywhere I go, and I don’t like her glances in my direction, as if she’s plotting something, or just thinks I am a dumbass who screwed up the possibility of her brother and her best friend ending up together. Or both. I’m honestly confused by everything going on around me, so I just go with the flow most days. Like today.
“So, do you think this movie is worth the hype?” Benson asks no one in particular as we wait in line to buy popcorn and drinks.
“Probably,” Moore answers lazily, leaning against the counter.
“Good answer, dude,” Benson laughs. “You have a real gift for conversation.”
“I prefer to use my tongue for other things.” Moore narrows his eyes slightly; his gaze drifts around the place. “I’m sure you understand.”
“What are you hinting at?” Benson becomes twice as big; a sneer contorts his features.
“Saying your sister’s best friend is off-limits so only you can have that little cunt? I didn’t expect it from you, Benson.” Moore has been trying to find a way into her panties, but so far, he’s only succeeded in getting a middle finger from her every once in a while.
“Another word about Ava, and I promise you will regret it.” He takes a step further. “I didn’t do anything at the party because you were drunk, and she told me not to deal with you there, but I might change my mind.”
My gaze flickers between them both, and an awfully familiar feeling forms in my chest. Anger. And it’s targeted solely at Moore. Did he try something with her at the party?
“What happened?” I ask before I can even think about what I’m doing.
Drake looks at me as if he sees me for the first time. “Nothing that concerns you, Thompson,” he rasps and turns around to order his popcorn. He is treating me like I’m worse than motherfucking Moore.
“What are you getting?” Clay’s voice is so sudden I jump away from him, biting my tongue in the process. Fuck. I taste salt in my mouth and just know that I bit myself bloody.
“Ice cream with—”
“M&Ms.” My best friend claps me on my back, smiling from ear to ear. “You’re such a predictable fucker.”
“I’m not even going to argue with that.” I order ice cream while thoughts quickly fly through my head. Did something happen at the party between Moore and the freshman? Was that the reason why Benson was holding her?
Just as we are about to enter the movie theater, my phone vibrates, and I stop in my tracks. When I pull it out of my back pocket, I stare at the screen. I have no desire to talk to him now, but I know this man. He will keep calling until he gets what he wants.
“Colt, you’re coming?” Clay looks at me over his shoulder as he waits for me.
“Two minutes,” I shout back. Then I spin around and go to the nearest corner.
“Hello, Colton.” My father’s voice is firm and collected, just like he always is. A pretentious fucker.
“Hey.”
“How have you been?” Oh God, just tell me what you want so I can go back to my friends. There is no fucking need for these pleasantries.
“Good. What do you want?” My ice cream starts melting from the warmth of my palm, and I stare at it as if it’s the only source of stability in my life.
“Your games next week will be on Friday and Saturday, right?”
“Yes.”
“I want you to come home on Sunday. Your grandma asked me about you a few times, and I promised her you’re going to visit.” His fucking tone of voice means one thing: I don’t have any say in it at all.
“I’ll be with Mom.”
“I know.” If you know, why do you never join me? Just to talk to the doctors, ask them if she’s fine, if she’s getting better? “You can come home right after your visit, and then go back to campus on Monday morning.”
“I can…but don’t be delusional,” I hiss, gritting my teeth. “If I do come, I’ll do it for Grandma. Not you.”
“Whatever you say, Colt. I’ll be happy to have you home whether you want to see me or not.” The bastard chuckles, knowing damn well I’m pissed. “Bye, Son.”
I don’t say anything in return and just end the call. I’m a mess. That fucking human trash can affects me worse than any other shit in my life. I have never felt such anger, even on the ice rink, and that says a lot. I freaking hate that sperm donor more than anyone, and I can’t wait to graduate and start living on my own. Without his patronizing desire to rule my life the way he wants.
Staring at my ice cream, I’m not sure I want to watch this movie anymore. Or even be here. This week was strange for me. Maybe my decision to join the guys for a movie was a mistake. Most likely it was a mistake, but I’m here, and I don’t want to let the idiot ruin my day. He already destroyed my beliefs in happiness and love. He’s the reason I don’t want to have any kind of committed relationship. What’s the point if you’re going to end up heartbroken anyway?
I want someone to slap some sense into me. Life is becoming exhausting. I close my eyes for a second and exhale loudly. Then I open them and breathe deeply again and again. I can always go home if this movie is total shit, or if I realize I can’t keep pretending anymore and need to be alone. Yeah, I can always do that.
Determined, I stroll into the theater. The lights are still on, and an ad plays on the huge screen. I notice the guys and head in their direction—then I see her. I freeze mid-step. My foot doesn’t touch the stair as my eyes are glued to her smiling face. They are all here: the freshman, Layla, and Grace. Sitting not very far from the guys, a few rows below, they are talking and laughing. And I can’t look away.
I stare, watching how her lips move when she says something to her friends, how her head bobs up and down as she laughs. I smile, reminding myself of an idiot. A hopeless idiot, who keeps ruining his life any chance he gets.
I finally take a step further, and she notices me. Her eyes go round, then her brows knit together at once. She looks surprised, but it’s quickly replaced by a grimace. She hates the idea of us being at the same movie, and I suddenly want to stay. Just to get on her nerves.
I wink at her and continue my walk. Slumping down into the seat next to Clay, I keep my gaze trained on her. I know she feels me watching her. Her neck is slightly red, and her posture becomes tense. She’s adorable.
“What took you so long?” Clay asks.
“My dad,” I say. He doesn’t know the whole truth, but he’s aware I have a shitty relationship with my father.
“Did you see…” The lights turn off, and Clay falls silent. He loves watching trailers, and he never misses one. This dude is strange for real. He can easily miss most parts of a movie, but he never misses ads or trailers. A weirdo.
Thirty minutes later, my ice cream is finished, my friends are watching the movie with undeniable interest, while I… I watch her. Don’t get me wrong, I tried to get into the movie, but I couldn’t. I don’t want to leave anymore. Riling her up just by looking at her is entertaining, to say the least, and I enjoy every second of her misery.
Another fifteen minutes go by, and she stands up. She moves slowly, trying not to disturb anyone, and she intentionally chooses the aisle opposite from me, even if it’s farther away. A smile creeps onto my lips as I follow her with my eyes. I think back to this boring movie, to the guys, whose faces are trained on the screen. Fuck it. I stand up, climb up the stairs, and see the door close. I’m pretty sure I know where to find her. She can’t escape me.
