AVA
I sit on the floor with my back pressed against the wall. My eyes are closed as I listen to music. The sound of a guitar reverberates through my body, bringing every nerve to life. “I Think I’m OKAY” plays at full volume, but I don’t pay any attention to it. I try to silence all the people who surround me in this stupid place. I squeeze my eyes tighter because I don’t want to cry anymore. I’m tired of these nonstop tears. I just want my life back. The one where I was a happy freshman, excited about her first year in college, and not this mess it has become.
The first week after the party was strange. People whispered behind my back and pointed in my direction. When I walked into a room, everyone would fall silent. It was like my presence shut down every conversation. A few of my classmates stopped talking to me, and one even refused to be my study partner in one of my classes. I took it all in stride. The silent treatment and the gossip didn’t bother me at the time. I was hoping that everyone would soon forget and move on, but I was wrong. The second week was harder than the first one.
No one wants to be friends with me—heck, no one wants to talk to me if it’s something they can avoid. I feel as if I don’t exist, and it hurts. I’ve literally been forcing myself to go to my classes. All I want is to stay locked in my room, alone with my books. But that’s not an option either. I hate Jordan. She’s the worst roommate and human being ever. She makes everything even more difficult, and I have a hard time dealing with it.
It would have been better if Layla was with me, but she barely has time for me these days. She got the flu and went home for a week, and she spent this week catching up on all her assignments and deadlines. Her brother wanted to hang out with me on Monday, but he got a last-minute call and asked to reschedule. I saw him on Wednesday, and my stubborn ass decided to pretend like everything was okay and I was living my best life.
A fool, that’s who I was.
Why have I suddenly become invisible? It’s all because of Colton Thompson. People think he hates me, and they want to show him where their loyalty lies. In reality? They’re just a bunch of stupid idiots. I don’t exist for this dude. I haven’t seen him even once since the diner. But everyone is ignoring my presence because they believe he wants that. Because I crossed paths with the wrong guy, and no one wants to be in the same boat as I am.
This loneliness is the worst, especially when I was used to being someone people wanted to be friends with. I’m not handling this situation very well.
Someone pats me on my shoulder, and I jerk away on instinct. I open my eyes and meet Hudson Moore’s gaze. Another motherfucker I can’t stand. What does he want from me? My music stops when I take one of my AirPods out of my ear.
“Hey, Ava.”
“Hey.”
“I noticed you on my way from class.” He smiles, lowering himself beside me. “How are you?”
“I’m fine.” I don’t want to look at him, so I just stare in front of me.
“You look sad,” Moore adds, forcing me to glance at him. I don’t talk to anyone about my problems; I keep everything to myself.
“I just don’t feel well.” I use the answer I give everyone. “Girl stuff.”
“You don’t have any friends here. People treat you as if you don’t exist. Aren’t you upset about it?” I want to vomit. Does everyone know already? “I’m just very observant, that’s all. Plus, you’re kinda on my radar—”
“I don’t care,” I snap, standing up. Anger rises in my chest; I’m ready to kick someone.
“People think Thompson hates you.” Moore joins me in standing, then bends down and takes my backpack into his hands. “No one wants to be friends with his enemy.”
“My backpack. Please.”
“I can be your friend, or more than a friend.” He inches closer.
“Thanks. No, thanks.” I grab my backpack from his grip and take a step back. “Bye.” I stomp away from him. I have another class in fifteen minutes, so I need to get going.
“Ava, wait.” He runs after me. This guy doesn’t know how to take a hint, does he? “Will you come to the game next week?”
“Ha.” It’s so sudden that I even clamp my hand over my mouth. He looks confused with his brows pinched together. “No.”
“To the party after the game?”
“No.”
“Any chance I can change your mind?” He invades my personal space again, but I back away quickly.
“No.” I twirl around and march to class, and this time he doesn’t follow me. But he also doesn’t fool me—he’s not going to give up any time soon.
After my class is over, I walk to the dining hall, lost in my thoughts. Lunch is the only time I can see my best friend. It’s rare, so I cherish it, even if I know that I am keeping secrets from her. More and more these days.
Suddenly, someone trips in front of me. Something cold hits my skin, and I yelp. The fuck? I look down, and it’s like I’m a character from Glee. A fucking slushy.
I examine my tee and then meet Jordan’s gaze. She stands in front of me, trying to suppress a smile on her stupid face.
“Are you fucking insane?”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m so clumsy.” She barely hides her grin. “If you want to, we can go to our room, so you can change and go back to class. Or you can stay in the dorm. No one will notice your absence anyway.”
My chest is suddenly so heavy. I’m starting to suffocate. I open my mouth but don’t say anything. Tears burn my eyes. This situation is becoming harder and harder to deal with. It’s the first time in my life when people are treating me like I’m nothing, and it’s all because some arrogant prick doesn’t get along with me.
“Fuck you.” I storm past her, heading to the bathroom. Everyone is watching me. Everyone. I see their smirks. I hear their laughs, and I want to disappear. I want to be as far away from this place as possible. I want to be back at home, in my room, knowing I can find comfort in my father’s arms. I just want to feel safe again.
I barrel through the crowd and halt in my tracks just a few steps away from the bathroom. He’s standing there with his hands hidden in his pockets. His gaze is heavy, and it’s focused on me. I feel the urge to slap him in the face, kick him in his groin, or just show him my middle finger again. This desire to take out my anger is strong, but I ignore it. It’s the first time we have seen each other in two weeks, and I can honestly admit I would have loved not to see him for even longer.
I resume my walk, yank the doorknob, and open the door wide. It closes behind me with a bang while I edge to the mirror. As soon as my eyes land on my reflection, I want to bawl. My tee is ruined. I suck in air and pull my T-shirt over my head, leaving me in only my bra. I just want to try and save one of my favorite shirts. Maybe it will be possible to fix it before the stain sets?
I turn on the faucet and shove my tee under the flowing water. I wipe it over and over again, rubbing the fabric with only one thought in mind—I want to go home tomorrow. I want to see my dad and be his little girl, nothing else.
The door opens, and I brace myself for jokes. The moment I lock eyes with the person who walked into the bathroom, my fingers start shaking and my mouth becomes dry. What the hell does he want from me? Did he come to rub salt into the wound?
Looking away, I wash slushy off my tee and keep silent. I literally bite my tongue to hold back the words that desperately want to find their way out. I don’t want to make my days at college even worse than they already are. Colton is fully capable of making that happen. Experience has shown he doesn’t even need to say anything to anyone. His reputation plays directly into his hands.
I feel his gaze all over me. His eyes travel down my form. I was in a hurry to take off my T-shirt, I didn’t think about the undergarment I’m wearing. It’s a beige pink push-up bra, and it looks good on me, but I’m suddenly very self-conscious. I don’t want him to see my lingerie. I already feel vulnerable, and being half-naked doesn’t help.
“What happened?” His voice is quieter than I expect. He stops just behind my back, and goosebumps spread across my skin.
“Nothing.”
“Why did she throw her drink on you? It didn’t look like an accident.” He sounds strange. Almost like he cares.
I shake my head vigorously, trying to get rid of the stupid idea. The guy has such a big ego that he still can’t forget about the slap. The one that only a few people know about. People who won’t say anything to anyone. Or is it about me flipping him off? If so, then he’s even more arrogant than I thought.
“Why did she do that?” Thompson takes a step closer, putting both of his hands on the sink and trapping me. My insides flare up, and a blush creeps onto my cheeks. What the hell is he doing?
“She’s just a bitch,” I mutter, trying to focus on the task at hand. It’s hard. His proximity and his scent have started to affect me. He smells nice, very nice, and I want to close my eyes and inhale. I bite my inner cheek to bring myself back to my senses. He’s a stupid fucker. I can’t be attracted to him. “She knows I have no friends here.”
“Meaning?”
“No one wants to talk to me. Or even notice me. People act like I don’t exist.” I shut my eyes because my voice is trembling. Then I take a deep breath and look at him through the mirror. “That’s my life now.”
“Why?”
“Because they think you hate me, and no one wants to be on your bad side.”
“My bad side?” He blinks, stepping back, and I suddenly feel lonely. I want him back close to me.
“You’re a popular guy, and people respect you. A lot of girls want to date you, or just sleep with you,” I explain, wondering why I even need to tell him this. He doesn’t look like an idiot who doesn’t know the power he has over people in this place. Or am I reading him wrong? “After you kicked me out, they all think I offended you or something. They ignore my presence.”
“Wait…” he mumbles, frowning. “They are doing this to you because of me?”
I turn off the faucet and examine my T-shirt. Nothing can save it. Its place is in the trash. “Are you seriously that dense?” I ask, turning around and pulling my wet tee back on. Instead of having lunch with Layla, I will have to go back to the dorm and change. “Yes, Thompson, they are doing this to me because of you.”
“That’s bullshit. I never asked—”
“You sure are an idiot,” I snap, anger consuming me. The walls of the room close in on me; my breath becomes ragged. “People at the party saw what you did. They think I wronged you. And for them, that’s enough of a reason to have nothing to do with me. You don’t even need to ask them.”
“Why didn’t Benson tell me? I could have fixed it a long time ago.”
“Because I haven’t told him,” I counter, grabbing my backpack from the floor.
The door opens, and a girl rushes inside, stopping in her tracks as soon as her eyes land on Colton and me. Her jaw drops as she gapes at us in silence.
“Get out,” he orders her. Then he returns his attention to me. She doesn’t exist to him anymore.
I watch the girl in amusement. I would have sent him packing. Yet she nods, and a second later, she’s gone.
“It’s a women’s bathroom,” I hiss, but he doesn’t hear me. He takes a step closer, hovering over me.
“You haven’t told Layla about this? Because I’m sure if she knew, her brother would have known too.”
“They don’t know,” I repeat, stomping my foot and feeling small. He reminds me of Drake a lot. A fucking wall in front of me.
“If I’m an idiot, then you’re an arrogant piece of shit.” Thompson bends his head down, looking me in the eyes. “Were you too humiliated to tell your best friend how people are treating you? Was it too embarrassing to ask for help?”
I gawk at him in perplexity. Pursing my lips, I ball my fists and dig my nails into my flesh.
“Fuck you.” I shout. Then I turn around and stalk into the nearest stall. Slamming the door behind me and pressing my back to it, I close my eyes. Calming myself down is a priority, because if not calm, I’m afraid to even imagine what I might do to him. Or to anyone who tries to talk to me.
I hear his steps and then the door closing. I’m finally alone, but it doesn’t bring me any solace. This guy…he’s a fucking nightmare. One second, he acts like he cares; the next second, he’s insulting me. But I am no saint either. I call him names, even if I know how short-tempered he is.
I take my phone out of my pocket and look down at the screen. I have twenty minutes before my last class starts, so I better get going. I quickly swipe away a message from Layla. Right now, my studies are way more important.
Breathe in, breathe out, Ava. You’ve got this.
Opening the door, I saunter out of the stall and halt in my tracks. His bomber jacket is lying on the countertop. Did he leave it for me? I hesitate, not sure if I should go for it. Then I brush my doubts aside and put his bomber on. It helps me with my situation, which is the only thing I want. I fix my backpack and head straight to the exit.
People are here and there, hanging out. They still look at me, but at least I don’t hear any laughs anymore. Only whispers, murmurs, and curious glances. Did he say something once he walked out of the bathroom? That’s a possibility. Me wearing his bomber is a big statement, but will it be enough to change things for me? I truly hope it will.
With each step, as I hold my head up high, my mood becomes lighter. I’m not a fragile little girl. I’m strong and confident. What goes around comes around, and it means Jordan will have her appointment with karma. Sooner or later, but she will. That’s how life works.
