“All right,” Cobb’s voice said in my ear as the group of us hovered outside a holographic battlefield. “I’m almost convinced you won’t run nose-first into the first piece of debris that falls past you. I think you lot might just be ready to learn some advanced weapons techniques.”
Even still, two weeks after losing him, I expected Bim to pipe up eagerly and ask after destructors. When he didn’t, I said it instead, in his memory. “Destructors?”
“No,” Cobb said. “Today we will train with the IMP.”
Oh, right. We’d spent so much time training with the light-lances, I’d almost forgotten we had a third weapon, which could knock down enemy shields.
While I waited for Cobb to send today’s wingmate pairings, I switched the radio to a private channel and called Hurl. “I almost thought he was going to let us do guns, eh, Hurl?”
Hurl only grunted.
“Made me think of Bim,” I said. “Wish we’d at least helped him choose a callsign, you know?”
“I’m with Quirk today,” Hurl said as Cobb highlighted us in pairs on our sensor screens. “Hurl out.” She killed the channel.
I felt my face grow cold and gritted my teeth, silently cursing Jerkface for outing my heritage. While I was used to this kind of thing, I’d liked Hurl. The fun-loving, eager girl had almost seemed like a friend.
I moved my ship over next to Nedd, my wingmate for the day. Ahead of us, a group of Krell ships appeared in the sky and began to fly through lazy patterns. Debris fell, mostly large, fiery chunks that dropped from above quickly, trailing smoke.
“All right,” Cobb said. “Basic shield usage. Spin, give us a rundown.”
He did this occasionally, testing our knowledge. “Shipboard shields can absorb roughly 80 kus of energy before they get overwhelmed and break,” I said. “That’s around two to three shots from a destructor, a small debris strike, or a glancing collision. If your shield goes down, you’ll have to reignite it—which uses power from your booster. That means losing thrust and maneuverability for a good half a minute.”
“Good. Amphisbaena, what did she miss?”
I was reasonably impressed that he could pronounce Arturo’s “two-headed-dragon” callsign thing.
“Not much,” Arturo said. “Always warn your wingmate if your shield breaks so they can cover you with their destructors while you reignite. Not that we know much about using destructors …”
“You pull the trigger, smart boy,” Cobb said. “Doesn’t take a brain to use a destructor. The IMP though, that’s another matter. Inverted Magellan Pulse. It breaks any shield—including your own—within fifty meters.”
“Fifty meters,” FM said softly. “That’s very close range.”
“Ridiculously close range,” Cobb said. “You’ll have to practically be smelling Krell BO before you can IMP them.”
“Sir,” Jorgen said. “I’m worried about the flight’s ability to get in that close.”
“If only we’d just spent a month drilling on maneuvering and close-quarters light-lance grappling while the other cadets played popgun,” Cobb snapped. “Look, Krell shields are strong. You fight my way, and you completely negate their advantage. And if you don’t want to fight my way, you can go suck on hot rocks and become an algae farmer.”
With that, he threw us into it. And I didn’t complain. After so many weeks practicing what amounted to a bunch of fancy turns, I was eager to get to something that felt even a little like real combat.
We were each assigned to a mock Krell ship flying in a simple pattern. Our job was to approach as a wingmate pair flying exactly fifty-five meters apart. We would cut in across the Krell ship’s path, and one of us would engage their IMP. Then we’d stop and perform a quick-reignition drill.
We didn’t get to shoot the Krell down. We just practiced IMPing their shields, over and over. And even with the Krell ships flying in simple patterns, it was hard. You had to get in so close, you felt like you were going to slam right into them. Turned out fifty meters was just under the threshold for a comfortable pass. The first twenty times or so, I pulled away too quickly and the IMP broke my shield—but not the enemy’s.
Swoop in. Engage IMP. Dodge out. Reignite.
Repeat.
“You know,” Nedd said as we flew, “I’d enjoy shooting a few of those goobers down.”
“Don’t extrapolate, Nedder,” Cobb said in our ears. “Today, the exercise is about knocking out their shields. That’s it.”
“But—”
“We’ll get to destroying them later. These next few days, we’re going to focus on basic IMP strategies.”
Nedd sighed on the group line. “A few days of just doing this? Does anyone else find that idea boring?”
A few of the others called out agreements, but I didn’t. Every moment flying, even in simulation, was a joy. This explosion of speed, this precision … this was freedom.
I remembered my father better when I flew. That spark of anticipation in his eyes, the tilt of his head looking skyward—and longing to return. Each time I flew I shared something new with him, something personal.
Nedd and I did a few more IMP runs, and oddly—on my turn—the Krell ship flew out of line and forced me to chase it down harder. That wasn’t the normal exercise, but it did challenge me. When I finally IMPed it, I found myself breathing hard, but grinning at the thrill of it.
“Tell me that last one wasn’t fun,” I said on the private line to Nedd. I looked across to where he flew beside me, the hologram reproducing him—helmet and all. He was a bit of a brute, oversized, with a face that seemed too big for his head. I couldn’t imagine how it must feel to squeeze into one of these cockpits at a hundred and ninety-three centimeters like he was.
“Fun is sitting at home,” he said, “with your feet up, enjoying a mug of something warm. All of this is over my head.”
“Oh, please,” I said. “I’m not buying your act, Nedd.”
“What?” he said. “I’m just a normal guy.”
“Who grew up in the deep caverns?”
“I actually grew up here. In Alta.”
“What, really?” I said, surprised.
“Yeah, I went to school with Jorgen and Arturo down below, but my parents keep the orchard.”
“So you’re not just some normal guy,” I said. “You were schooled with the elite, and your parents volunteered to do the toughest job on Detritus. Beyond that, how many brothers do you have who are pilots?”
“Dunno,” he said. “Can’t really count that high.”
“You do the worst job of playing dumb I’ve ever seen.”
“Then I can’t even do that right,” he said. “Extra proof, right?”
I rolled my eyes as we joined another run. Nedd seemed determined to pretend he was some kind of big, dumb crony. But he overdid it, likely by intent. Even rocks weren’t as stupid as Nedd acted sometimes.
On the battlefield, Hurl and Kimmalyn zipped past a Krell ship. Hurl got her IMP off just right, but Kimmalyn had not only been flying too close—so she got caught in the blast too—she panicked when her shield went down and veered to the side. Which smashed her into the Krell ship.
I winced. It had been a while since any of us had made a mistake that blatant. Nedd whistled slowly, then hit the comm. “Nice explosion, Quirk. Seven out of ten. Try to spin your wreckage a little more next time you fall.”
“Bless. Your. Stars.” She muttered it, which was practically cussing from Kimmalyn.
“Heh,” Nedd said.
“You shouldn’t taunt her,” I said on the private line to him. “She’s trying hard.”
“Everyone needs someone to blow steam at, even her. Especially her. She’s so uptight sometimes, I think she must have done her belt up two extra notches.”
“She’s just from a different cavern,” I said. “Her culture makes her more polite.”
“She’s nervous,” he said. “She knows she’s our worst pilot. Ignoring it will only make her more nervous. Trust me.”
Huh. “And what do you think of Hurl?”
“She’s good,” he said. “But not as good as she thinks she is.” He grew silent for a moment. “She used to pretend all this was a game. She was an athlete, you know.”
“Like, a real one?”
“Yeah. Digball player. Carrier position, one of the best in the student league. Seems like everything’s a competition to her, but then we lost Bim and Morningtide, so now she’s gone all quiet. She doesn’t know how to react now that she can’t see flying as a game.”
“I thought you said you were stupid.”
“Dumb as cold rocks.”
“And your insightful read on our companions?”
“Just making small talk. Saying whatever pops in my head, you know? You’re lucky it made any sense whatsoever. Usually it comes out as grunts.”
“Oh please.”
We flew a few more exercises, during which Nedd made some pointed grunting noises. Seriously, I couldn’t tell if he was childish, or an elaborate prankster … or, well, he was certainly both of those things. But maybe something else too?
Cobb eventually called for us to line up, then take runs one at a time, so he could watch us each and give us specific feedback on how to improve. And though I was enjoying this, I was glad for the break—it was grueling work.
I watched each of the solo runs, and we were actually starting to look like real pilots. The way Hurl spun after her dodging Krell was impressive. And while FM could be too careful, her flying had an inspiring precision to it.
Kimmalyn did her solo run next, and she actually managed to IMP the Krell. I smiled, and called her when she came back. “Hey,” I said over the private line. “Good job.”
“I didn’t crash,” she replied. “So that’s new.”
“You almost never crash.”
“I almost never win a drill either.”
“We’ve all got talents. Yours is sniping from a distance. Mine is swearing at people.”
“Swearing at people? You almost never—”
“Shut it, scudface.”
She giggled, which made me smile. Maybe Nedd was right. Maybe she did need a chance now and then to blow off steam.
“Now dear,” Kimmalyn said, “far be it from me to offer criticism. But that was hardly an imaginative cuss. I’ve heard that word, oh, every day since leaving Bountiful Cavern! Where I come from, you need to be circumspect.”
“What’s the point of that?”
“Well, you can’t have people realizing you’re disparaging them. That would be embarrassing!”
“So you insult people … without insulting them?”
“It’s our way. But don’t worry if that doesn’t make sense to you—personally, I think it’s inspiring that you’re comfortable being the way you are. It must have given you so many chances to learn life’s lessons!”
“That’s … huh.” I grinned. “I like that.”
“Thank you.”
Our line crackled, and Jerkface’s obnoxious voice came on. “Quirk, Spin, are you two watching Hurl’s performance? You should be paying attention.”
“I’m watching,” I snapped.
“Good. Because from my vantage, it looked like you were sitting around gabbing and giggling.”
“Jorgen,” Kimmalyn said, “I just want to let you know how you’re regarded as a flightleader. As the Saint is Goodly and Just, I’m certain you’ll be rewarded with everything you deserve in life!”
“Thanks, Quirk. Stay sharp. Jorgen out.”
I watched until the light indicating that he was on the line winked off, then I burst into a fit of laughter. “That was the most glorious thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”
“Well,” Kimmalyn said, “you are known to be a tad dramatic at times, but I suppose I can accept the compliment.” She flew off to do another run, as Cobb wanted to coach her on the way she used her booster.
“She almost doesn’t belong here,” I whispered to myself. “It’s like she’s both too good for us, and not quite good enough at the same time …”
“That’s contradictory,” M-Bot’s voice said in my ear. “So perfectly human.”
“Yeah,” I said, then sat up straight. Wait. “M-Bot?”
“Yes?”
“M-BOT.”
“Not that I mind being screamed at, as my emotions are synthetic, but would you mind—”
“How?” I said. I hunched down in my seat, whispering quietly. “Can the others hear you?”
“I’ve infiltrated your lines and sent my communications directly into your helmet,” he said. “Your wireless communications emitter gives me a focal point to use for isolating you.”
“My what?”
“In your bag. I think you set it next to your seat.”
The personal radio that Cobb had given me.
“As I’ve said, your people’s communications methods are quite primitive,” M-Bot continued. “Which I find curious, since the rest of your technology—save your lack of brilliant artificial intelligences—seems relatively similar to my own. Well, and you’re also missing cytonic hyperdrives. And proper fungal documentation techniques. So I guess you’re actually backward in all the important areas.”
“I thought you were worried about being discovered!” I whispered. “Why are you talking to me here?”
“I’m a stealth ship, Spensa,” he said. “I’m fully capable of hacking communications lines without exposing myself. But I warn you, I don’t trust this DDF of yours.”
“You’re smart not to,” I said honestly. “But you do trust me? Even though I lied to you?”
“You remind me of someone I’ve forgotten.”
“That … is kind of contradictory, M-Bot.”
“No it’s not. I said it, and I’m one hundred percent rational.”
I rolled my eyes.
“That’s called logic.” He waited a moment, then added, softer, “I’m super good at it.”
Ahead, Kimmalyn finished her run with the Krell ship escaping. She never fired her IMP.
But she could have shot the thing out of the air. I thought, irritated on her behalf. Assuming its shield was down.
Cobb kept saying we needed fundamentals, and I supposed that made sense. It still didn’t quite seem fair. Like … we weren’t using her to her fullest.
“Spin,” Cobb said. “You’re up.”
“Up for what?” M-Bot asked me. “What are we doing? I don’t have a video feed. Just audio.”
“We’re flying,” I whispered, then hit my booster and soared into the holographic debris—which was constantly renewed with new debris falling from the sky above.
My target appeared, a Krell ship weaving between pieces of junk. I leaned in and chased after it, overburning through the junk. Almost close enough …
A light started blinking on my dash. I had a tail? What? This was supposed to be a solo, one-on-one exercise. Apparently Cobb intended to make this more difficult for me.
So be it.
I rolled in a spinning dodge as the tail started firing its destructors. My maneuver saved me, but let the target get ahead of me. No you don’t. I thought, hitting my overburn and blasting after it, taking a corner at speed and gaining ground. The tail stuck to me, continuing to fire.
I took a hit that nearly overwhelmed my shields. But I focused on the ship in front, which dove downward. So I cut my acclivity ring and slammed on my overburn, turning into a gut-wrenching dive. Lights flashed on my control panel to warn that without my acclivity ring, nothing would prevent me from slamming right into the ground.
“I don’t know who you’re fighting,” M-Bot said. “But those warning beeps indicate that you’re not doing a good job.”
As a companion to his words, the line on the top of my canopy warned that I’d just overwhelmed my GravCaps, and the g-force indicator started to flash red. In a real ship, I’d be hit with all those g-forces, which—in a dive—would push the blood to my head and make me start to red-out.
“Try not to die,” M-Bot noted. “I don’t want to be left alone with Rodge. He’s boring.”
I passed into the trail of another chunk of falling, burning metal—sparks bouncing off my shield, making it light up and crackle with energy. I’d lost the tail, which had fallen far behind, but I wasn’t close enough to the one in front.
It can’t keep diving. I thought. We’re approaching the ground.
I gritted my teeth, then lanced the chunk of debris right as my target cut to the side and flew back up. I swung all the way around the debris, then reengaged my acclivity ring and hit my overburn again. The maneuver made me swoop in a complete circle and dart upward, right past the Krell ship.
I blasted my IMP, then the flashing line on the canopy went full red.
“Ha!” I said over the group line. “Your children will weep tonight, you holographic Krell bastard!”
“Seriously, Spin?” FM said. “You’re saying that ironically, right?”
“Irony is a coward’s weapon!” I said. “Like poison. Or the destructors on Jerkface’s ship.”
“Wouldn’t a coward use, like, a really big bomb?” FM said. “Something you could launch from far away? Seems like you’d need to get close for poison.”
“As our resident expert,” Nedd said, “I’d like to point out that the true coward’s weapon is a comfortable couch and a stack of mildly amusing novels.”
“You’re still dead, Spin,” Jerkface said, flying his ship down near mine. “You redlined, possibly causing permanent retinal damage. If this were a real battle, you’d undoubtedly be incapacitated—and your ship would be unshielded. You’d be dead in moments thanks to that Krell tailing you.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I said, amused at how offended he sounded. Was he really that threatened by my aptitude? “My task was to take down my target’s shields, which I did. My tail is irrelevant; Cobb’s orders were to IMP that target.”
“You can’t keep cheating the simulation,” Jerkface said. “You’re going to be useless on the battlefield.”
“I’m not cheating anything. I’m winning.”
“Whatever,” he said. “At least you didn’t slam your ship into mine this time. Stars help the person who gets between Spin and her attempts to look good in front of everyone.”
“What?” I said, growing annoyed at him. “You—”
“Enough chitchat,” Cobb said. “Spin, that was some good flying—but Jorgen is right. You ultimately failed by getting yourself killed.”
“Told you,” Jerkface said.
“But—” I said.
“If you’ve got time to argue,” Cobb interrupted, “I’m obviously not working you hard enough. The lot of you, run yourselves through three sets of gamma-M formation exercises before dinner. Jorgen, make sure it happens.”
“Wait,” Kimmalyn said. “You’re leaving?”
“Of course I am,” Cobb said. “I’m not going to go to dinner late. Cobb out.”
“Great,” Hurl said. “Thanks for nothing, Spin.”
Wait, she couldn’t possibly blame me for this extra work instead of Jerkface, could she? Jerkface organized us into a gamma-M formation, a type of monotonous flying exercise. It only took us about ten minutes, but I spent the entire time stewing, growing more and more frustrated. I even ignored M-Bot as he tried to talk to me.
Once it was done, I pulled off my helmet, ignoring Jerkface’s call for a lineup and vocal sound off. I just … I needed a break. A moment to myself. I wiped the sweat from my face, pushing back the hair that had been plastered to my forehead by the helmet.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
My holographic cockpit vanished.
“What are you doing?” Jerkface demanded, standing beside my seat. “Do you have your helmet off? I called lineup!”
“I just need a minute, okay? Leave me alone.”
“You’re disobeying orders!”
Oh, scud. I couldn’t deal with him right now. I was embarrassed, exhausted, and increasingly angry. It had been a long training session.
“Well?” Jerkface said, looming over me. Nearby, the others disengaged their holograms and stood up, stretching.
My face grew cold. And I started to feel myself losing control.
Calm, Spensa. You can be calm. I forced down the anger and stood up. I needed to get out of the room.
“What do you have to say?” Jerkface demanded. “Why do you keep denying my authority?”
“What authority?” I snapped, grabbing my pack and walking toward the doorway.
“Running away?” Jerkface said. “How appropriate.”
I stopped in place.
“I guess we should expect insubordination from the daughter of Zeen Nightshade,” he said. “Your family doesn’t exactly have a pedigree for obeying orders, does it?”
Coldness in my face. Heat burning deep within.
That’s it.
I turned around slowly, then walked back to Jerkface and quietly dropped my pack.
He looked down on me, sneering. “You—”
I dropped to one knee, then slammed my fist into his knee. He gasped, and when he buckled over in pain, I pushed upward and rammed my elbow into his gut. The way he grunted felt good. stoking something primal inside me.
My elbow knocked the breath out of him, preventing him from shouting out. So, while he was stunned, I hooked my ankle around his and sent him slamming backward to the floor.
He was bigger than I was. If he recovered, he’d overpower me, so I leaped on top of him and raised my fist, preparing to slam it down into his stupid face.
There I stopped, trembling. Furious. But somehow also cold and calm, like I got when fighting the Krell. Like I was both absolutely in control, but somehow utterly out of control.
Jerkface stared up at me, frozen, seeming completely stunned. That stupid face of his. That sneer. That was how they all talked about me. That was how they all thought of me!
“Whoa!” Nedd said. “Holy scud!”
I knelt there on top of Jerkface, trembling, with my hand raised.
“Really, wow!” Nedd said, kneeling down beside us. “Spin, that was incredible. Can you teach me that?”
I glanced at him.
“We don’t learn hand-to-hand,” he said, making some chopping motions. “Cobb says it’s useless, but what if a Krell tries to—you know—jump me in an alley or something?”
“Nobody has ever seen a Krell alive, you idiot,” Hurl said.
“Yeah, but what if that’s because—like—they always jump people in alleys. right? You ever think about that?”
I looked down at Jerkface. I could suddenly hear myself breathing in quick gasps.
“Spin,” Nedd said. “It’s okay. You were just showing us some hand-to-hand moves, right? How did you do that trip? You’re, like, half as tall as Jorgen is.”
Calm. Breathe.
“Half as tall?” Arturo said. “Might I point out that would make her less than a meter tall? Your math is suspect.”
I pulled back from Jerkface, who let out a breath and went limp. FM looked horrified, though Nedd flashed me a thumbs-up. Arturo was shaking his head. Kimmalyn stood with her hand to her mouth, while Hurl—I couldn’t read Hurl. She had her arms crossed, and she studied me, thoughtful.
Jorgen stumbled to his feet, holding his stomach. “She struck a superior. She assaulted another member of her flight!”
“She went a little overboard, yeah,” Nedd said. “But, I mean, you asked for it, Jorgen. No permanent damage, right? Can’t we just forget about it?”
Jorgen looked at me, and his expression hardened.
No. This wouldn’t be forgotten. I was in serious trouble this time. I met his eyes, then—finally—I grabbed my pack and left.
