I’m not sure what’s worse, fighting an erection on a date, or fighting an erection from listening to an old lady read from a book. It’s a fucking toss up at this point. Thankfully, the drive to dinner is going to be a short one. I’ve gotten Kitten strapped in her seat, and I’m willing my body to settle down as I climb into the driver’s side.
Kitten clears her throat. “So… is dinner going to be at some exotic strip club?”
“I’ll admit, after that show, the restaurant is going to seem extremely tame.”
“That sounds just fine to me. Honestly though, after hearing that excerpt, I’m going to amend the list of books I’d like to read from. If I knew erotic scenes were on the table, I’d choose differently.”
I glance over to Kitten. “Wait, was that normal? Are books really like that?” At her laugh, I add, “I mean girl books, or romance, or whatever that was. I don’t mean to sound like I don’t read, because I do, when I can. And I mean, there’s nothing wrong with romance… I just haven’t read any.” I slam my mouth shut. I sound like an idiot.
Kitten reaches over and pats me on the arm. “Well, I hate to throw out a spoiler, but most romance books have sex in them. And not just fade-to-black sex, some have very graphic, super-hot sex. And sometimes there are many of those scenes all in one book. And some books are made up entirely of erotic content.” She pauses. “But those are best for reading alone. In your bed. At night.”
Something about her tone has me going back over her words.
Reading in bed. At night. Alone. Oh… holy shit. Now I’m picturing Kitten, reading dirty stories, touching herself.
My body instantly reacts. Closing my eyes, I think unsexy thoughts before I’m stuck dealing with a full-on boner like some dweeb on his first date.
Ice skates. Hockey helmet. Goalie stick. Water bottle. Penalty box.
“Penalty box?”
“Uh, yeah. I was just, uh, thinking…” Crap. I said that last one out loud. “Oh, look. We’re here.”
I park, turn off the engine, and get out of the car faster than I ever have before.
Just before I slam my door shut, I hear the music of Kitten’s laughter following me.
