COMING HOME FROM A NIGHT OF MEN GROPING, leering, and opening their stupid mouths to hear Elena faking yet another orgasm was too much. Knowing who the dude was pounding away at her poor kitty made it even worse.
I’d known that lanky-ass fool was trouble when I saw him last summer. He’d been at Savage Beauties tonight with a handful of other frat bros. It stood to reason he was the one who’d told Theo about me riding the pole, although I’d never noticed him before. He must not have made himself known like he had tonight.
First, he’d heckled a couple girls on stage. Hakim had nearly squashed his head like a peach, and he became more subtle after that, sending me back to the bar multiple times when his drink order was “wrong,” tossing tips on the ground so I had to bend to get them, rejecting Carina’s lap dance in the middle of it because her minor, silvery stretch marks “disgusted” him, refusing to pay her since she didn’t complete her dance.
I threw my shoe at Elena’s door when I heard her moan, “Oh, Daniel,” with pure boredom. The dude must have been rich, or maybe he was blackmailing her. I couldn’t see any other reason she’d continue sleeping with him.
In my bedroom, I tucked my tips in the box I kept in my underwear drawer. It was stuffed full, since my payment to Reno was due tomorrow by five. I’d have some extra left this time, giving me some breathing room for once.
After I took a shower and washed the filth of the club from my skin, I tucked myself in bed, the suite blissfully quiet. Elena had either kicked Daniel out or fucked him to sleep. Either way worked for me. Pulling my covers over my ears, I went to sleep.
It was still pitch black when I slowly came awake. Something was tickling my face. I batted it away, but it came back a second later, dragging up my cheek.
My brain switched on, but my body froze. Someone was sitting on the side of my bed, touching my face. Then my covers were inched down from under my chin to my chest, down, down, down.
I stopped breathing.
Fight, flight, fight, flight.
I could close my eyes and pretend it was a bad dream.
I could scratch and claw and hope I could gain the upper hand.
I could lie here.
I could scream.
The intruder lowered himself over me, his chest pressing down on mine, then something touched my neck, hot and slimy, jerking me out of my stupor.
“Helen…” Daniel crooned in my ear. “Are you awake, beautiful?”
My hands came up, but I couldn’t fit them between us. “Get off of me,” I hissed, barely more than a whisper. There wasn’t enough air in my lungs to make my voice louder. If there had been, I would have screamed until the roof shook and windows rattled.
“There she is.” In the dark, his eyes searched mine. “You look like an angel when you’re asleep, Helen.”
I shuddered in revulsion. From the way he pressed his erection into my hip, he took it as something else. Or maybe he liked me being revolted by him. Maybe he got off on it.
“Get off of me, asshole.” I shoved at his shoulders and arched my spine. Daniel was lanky, but he had a lot of power in his limbs and easily held me down.
“Mmm.” He continued to stroke my cheek like a sweet lover. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time. You fascinate me.”
I reached blindly off the side of my mattress, struggling to find my bat, but only hitting empty air. Daniel’s mouth curved, like he thought it was funny how panicked I was. He even tsked at me.
Finally, my hand came into contact with something solid, but I only knocked it away. My bat fell against the floor with a clatter, and I whimpered at the loss, which made Daniel chuckle.
“Why are you so scared, Helen? I’m not hurting you. I’m barely even touching you. I just like looking at you. Isn’t that what you want? When you get on that stage or walk around in your little shorts serving drinks, don’t you want men like me to look?”
“Off,” I cried. “Off! Off, off, off!” Each successive cry got louder and louder until I exploded. “Get off me!” My cries echoed around the room, jerking Daniel back an inch or two. He stared down at me, squinting like he didn’t understand my protests.
“What’s wrong?” Perplexed. The asshole sounded perplexed.
Before I could say another word, my door swung open, and the light was flicked on. Elena stood there in her pink, silk, shorty pajamas, only pausing for a half a beat to take in the scene. Me, disheveled and no doubt red-faced and wild-eyed. Daniel, her boyfriend, pressing down on me. Then she flew into action. My bat was in her hands, poised above his head.
“Get up right now,” she hissed.
He sat up, his hands held up in placation. I scrambled to my headboard, pulling my knees to my chest.
“It’s no big deal, baby. Helen and I were just talking.”
“Unless Helen is suddenly great at talking in her sleep, no, you weren’t. Take your pencil dick and leave, Daniel.” She feigned a swing at him, making him cower. “I’ll be glad to introduce your balls to Batty. She gets lonely sometimes.”
Daniel leaped from the bed, covering his dick with both hands. “Crazy fucking bitches. Both of you. Dead lay and a whore, what a combination. Put the two of you together, it might make a good fuck.”
Elena pressed the end of my bat to his chest. “I guess you’ll never know, will you? Get the fuck out, right now, before I show you exactly how crazy I can be.”
Elena followed Daniel out of my room, threatening him all the way to our front door, which she slammed behind him. Then she returned to my room, handed me the bat, and turned off the light.
“Scoot over.” She pushed at my shoulders. When I shifted to the side, she climbed into bed, pulling the covers over both of us. “Lie down.”
I stretched out in my bed, the bat clutched in my arms like a damn teddy bear.
“You okay? Did he hurt you?”
I blinked up at the ceiling. “I…no. He scared the shit out of me, but he didn’t hurt me. I don’t even know if he was going to.”
“He’s a creeper. Ugh.”
“Says the girl having regular bad sex with him.”
“Make that past tense.”
I turned my head, even though I could barely make her out in the dark. “Why were you with him anyway? I mean, I get slumming if the dude had a talented dick, but from the sounds of it…”
Her sigh sounded defeated. “My parents are friendly with his. They thought we would make a lovely match.”
“And…?” I didn’t get it.
“And that’s it. My parents mean the world to me. I don’t ever let them down. So, I dated their friends’ creepy son. Tomorrow morning, I have to break the news over brunch that it’s over. Wee!” She draped her arm over my stomach. “If you try to pity me after I just chased my boyfriend from your room with a bat, I won’t be able to stand it. Everyone has family shit they deal with. Mine is mine. Yours is yours.”
“Okay.” I laid my hand on her arm. “Thanks for—”
“Don’t even try it, bitch. You do not thank me for that.”
“Okay, but I’m thinking it.”
She laughed softly. “That’s fine, as long as I don’t have to face your unearned gratitude. Gross. By the way, I get the bat thing. I’ll be acquiring one of my own ASAP. We should get Zadie one too. She’d look so freaking cute chasing bad boys away, wouldn’t she? Penelope should probably also have one for when Gabe gets too comfortable.”
I snorted, not even close to processing how I was in bed with Elena Sanderson, kind of snuggling. If I tried to wrap my head around it, my head would undoubtedly explode. I focused on the fact that I felt safe and calm and in control. Then, I went to sleep.
“Where is it? Where the fuck is it?” I yanked my entire underwear drawer out of my dresser and dumped the contents on my bed. My lockbox was there, but it was painfully empty. All that work, those late nights, missing sleep, getting my ass groped, filthy old men and entitled young ones—all for nothing. Nothing.
Zadie was hovering inside my door, watching me destroy my room. She’d tried to help at first, but when I became more frantic, she’d stood back, probably afraid I’d tip her over in my search.
“I’ll call Elena. She might have an idea,” Zadie offered, hurrying from the room.
Clothes and papers were strewn on every surface. I’d checked nooks, corners, crannies, trash cans, backpacks, everywhere. The fact was, I distinctly remembered the fat stack of cash being in my lockbox last night, and now, it was gone. I wasn’t a naturally trusting person, but when Zadie promised she hadn’t taken it, I believed her. I didn’t really suspect Elena either.
There was one person who’d been in my room last night. One person creepy enough to go rifling through my underwear drawer. Daniel had had plenty of opportunity to take my money. But what the hell could I do? I had no proof, and since he was probably just as rich as Elena and Theo, he really had no reason to steal from me, other than the fact that he was a complete and total asshole.
Zadie came back, her phone held limply in her hand. “I called.”
“No answer?”
She slumped against the doorjamb. “No. I heard her ringtone coming from her room. She must’ve forgotten her phone when she left for her parents’ this morning.”
“Shit.” I sank down to the floor, defeated. “Shit, shit, shit.”
Zadie came to sit beside me. “I have a little I could give you—”
“No.” I shook my head. “No. Thank you, though. A little won’t be enough. I need all of it, especially because I’m going to be late. Reno really hates when I’m late.”
One time last summer, my bus was delayed. I showed up an hour late to make my payment, and Reno added an extra thousand to the next one. Just like that, because he could. Because he knew I understood what he would do if I protested.
I glanced at my clock, already knowing what I’d find. Luciana and I had spent the day together. I’d missed her something fierce, more than normal, so I didn’t take her back home until almost four. Then I’d rushed back to my dorm to grab my cash, only to find it gone. I’d spent so much time checking every corner of the suite, it was now the time I should have been at Reno’s, and I was empty-handed.
All day, I’d been having fun with my sister, and now, I was fucked.
“Can you ask Theo? He could probably give you the money,” Zadie suggested.
The idea of asking Theo for money made me sick, especially after my whole speech about him not being good enough for me. I couldn’t bring this to him. We weren’t together. We weren’t even friends anymore. And I had pride. There was no way I’d tuck tail and beg.
“No. I’m not asking Theo. I’m finding Daniel and getting back what he stole. I’m not allowing him to screw me over.” Determined, I hopped up and pulled Zadie with me. “You don’t have to come.”
She looked at me cockeyed. “Uh, yeah I do. I’m not letting you go alone.”
My phone rang, sending my shoulders to my ears. I didn’t look. If it was Reno, he really wouldn’t like my answer. If it was anyone else…well, I didn’t have time.
With my bat in hand, Zadie and I charged across campus. My heart thrashed like a wild beast in my chest. It was probably best Zadie was with me because my vision had gone red with images of my bat crashing into Daniel’s head like a walnut.
Crack.
Zadie wouldn’t let me be crazy. Having her by my side would remind me where I was, why I was here, how much was on the line.
It was déjà vu, arriving at the frat house, a few guys drinking beers on the porch. One asked if I needed help, I laughed and told him hell yes I did, then I charged right by him with Zadie at my heels, gunning for the stairs.
Of course, I had no idea which room belonged to Daniel, but I knew someone who did. Deacon’s door was cracked. I pushed it the rest of the way open with my bat. He was on his bed, laptop propped in front of him, the distinct sounds of porn coming from the speakers.
“Oh, gross. Are you seriously jerking off with the door wide open?”
Deacon slammed his laptop shut and stuffed a pillow in his lap. “Who keeps letting you in?”
I flicked his question away with my fingers. “I’m not here for you. One question, then you can fetch that dirty sock from under your bed and continue enjoying your Saturday night festivities.”
He peered over my shoulder at Zadie. “Who’s the fatty? She’s kind of cute.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, I brought my bat down on his footboard, sending splinters of wood flying up. Deacon scrambled to his feet, wild-eyed, flailing his arms around. His erection was still going strong, poking out the top of his sweatpants kind of impressively.
“You’re crazy, bitch!” he cried. “You’re so paying for that.”
I pointed to his crotch with the bat. “What kind of universe gives a dick like that to a medium dude with a losing personality? Is this a joke? If so, I want a refund. It’s not funny.”
“Helen,” Zadie whispered. “We don’t have time.”
I turned to her. “You have all the time in the world, sweet muffin. It’s my time that’s run out.” I swiveled back to Deacon. “All right. Now that I’ve complimented your dick, tell me which room Daniel’s in. He and I need to have a little chat.”
Staring at me with wary eyes, Deacon cupped his cock. “I could tell you, but—”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I smacked the bat against my palm. “Did it seem like I was giving you a choice? Tell me where he is.”
Deacon licked his lips. “He’s out on his parents’ yacht all day. Incommunicado. I don’t know if he owes you money or whatever, but don’t expect to hear from him before tomorrow.” He got brave and took a couple steps toward me. “Now, you need to fucking leave. Unless you want to help me with my nice dick. Either of you works for me.”
“You are a disgusting person.” I raised my chin. “I need to get inside Daniel’s room.”
He leveled me with a hard stare. “Never going to happen. Even if I had a key, I’d never give it to you.”
I rested the bat on my shoulder, rethinking my approach. Maybe I should have been nicer. It was just that seeing Deacon’s dick was triggering. Actually, Deacon’s whole face was triggering, if I was being real.
“Is there someone I can talk to who has a key? Daniel has something of mine and I need it back ASAP.”
With a smirk on his stupidly medium face, Deacon shrugged. “No one’s letting you in his room, I promise you that.”
Zadie tugged on the back of my shirt. “Let’s go. We’ll think of something else. We’ll figure it out.”
I let her pull me out into the hall, nearly hauling back when Deacon gave me a smart-ass wave. God, that kid was going to get his ass beaten sooner rather than later, I just hoped I was there to witness the smugness being punched right off his stupid face.
Zadie kept her hand on my back as we retreated out of the house. We almost made it to the front door when I heard my name from behind me. I tried to keep going, but then Theo was there, touching my shoulder, making me look at him. A whimper built in the back of my throat, escaping before I could swallow it down.
Theo’s head jerked at the sound. “What’s going on? Did you come to see me?”
I shook my head. “I don’t have time to talk.”
“We have to go,” Zadie agreed.
Theo moved in front of me, blocking the door. “Who were you here to see? Deacon?”
“No. And I seriously can’t get into this right now.” My hands were shaking. If Theo noticed, if he saw how distraught I truly was under my layers of bravado and fight, he’d try to get involved, and I couldn’t allow that. Not Theo. Not with this.
“You’re upset.” Now, he was getting in my face, dipping down to examine me.
“I can’t, Theo.” Those three words were imploring. Based on the way he stilled and stared hard at me without breathing, he’d heard my plea.
“Let me help. Please, Helen.”
I shook my head again. “I’ve got it covered. I always do.”
He brought his hands up to my face, cupping my jaw with the barest touch. If I’d been less distracted by what I had in store for me tonight, I would have batted him away. We were definitely not in a place where he had the right to touch me like that. But I didn’t bat him away. In fact, I may have leaned into his palm just a little.
“What the hell is going on?” he whispered harshly.
I took a step away from him. “Nothing, really. The same as always.”
“Fuck, baby. Can we talk? I need to talk to you.”
Zadie steadied me with a hand on the center of my back. She also reminded me we couldn’t be here anymore.
“Tomorrow, maybe? I have to work tonight.”
Theo’s jaw hardened. “I’ll pick you up.”
“No, we’re not doing that. I have Carina. I don’t need a ride.”
A beat passed, then I was in Theo’s arms. He held me firm against his chest, and his mouth hit the side of my head. Batty dangled uselessly from my fingertips.
“Some shit is obviously going down right now.” His lips were moving against my temple, murmuring low for only me to hear. “You don’t have to like me or forgive me to let me help you out.”
I ran my hand down the length of Theo’s spine, his muscles flexing under my palm. It would have been easy to give in. To let Theo handle my problems. But then what? I didn’t want him to see me as an endless stream of problems he had to solve. I didn’t want to be the girl who beat the shit out of boys and cars and beds when things didn’t go her way. Not to Theo.
“If I don’t get it sorted tonight, I’ll think about it.” I pulled back, and Theo’s hold loosened. “I really do have to go. Work and all that jazz.”
His chin lowered, finding my eyes again. “If I don’t hear from you, I’m coming for you.”
Maybe I’d let him come for me. I liked the sound of that.
“Okay.”
Then Zadie and I were off, her pulling, me pushing. It wasn’t that I was in a hurry to do what I had to do, it was just that I’d like to make it through the night with my kneecaps intact and my sister not burned to a crisp.
“Now what?” she asked.
I pushed down my fear, disgust, disappointment at where I was and what I had to do. I’d been doing that my whole life, so I was pretty good at it by now.
“If I strip tonight and do a couple lap dances, I’ll be able to make enough.”
I’d have to do more than a couple lap dances, but that was okay. As long as I had the money to pay Reno, I’d do almost anything.
“I’m sorry, Hells. I know you hate it.”
“I can’t think about it, Z. I just have to do it, get the money, and then…I don’t know. I’ll get over it. I always do.”
I’d just add this night to the dark corner where I kept memories that were so vile, they’d drag me into an abyss if I spent more than a second reflecting on them.
It would all be okay. If I kept telling myself that, I might start believing it.
