THEO WHITLOCK WAS HOT. That was a fact. No one could have told me otherwise.
Theo Whitlock doing manual labor? That was on another level. It was even more attractive than his swollen knuckles, and holy Christ, had they done things to me.
Add in coveralls tied at his waist, an oil-stained white undershirt, steel-toed boots, and I almost forgot why I was angry. I nearly threw out my reasons for staying away, keeping my distance, shutting him out behind a thick wall—especially when he came out from under the hood of the truck he’d been working on, wiped the sweat from his forehead with his forearm, and twirled a wrench around in his hand like a seasoned pro.
I was a blue-collar baby to my bones, and no amount of fancy education was going to change that. Theo, the mechanic, could get it. Not from me—I was mad at him for going against my wishes—but from someone.
Of course, I’d cut a bitch before that happened.
Savage U’s garage wasn’t exactly bustling. Theo was the only one on the floor. When I started toward him, he noticed me right away. He tossed his wrench into a toolbox and wiped his hands on the rag hanging from his hip, keeping his gaze on me.
“You’re beautiful when you look like you want to murder me, Tiger,” he greeted.
I stopped in front of him, hands on my cocked hips. “You paid my loan.”
He instantly sobered, moving into my space. “Did someone come see you? I made it clear they had to leave you alone now. Fuck.”
“No, dude—”
“Not your dude. I’m not letting you put me back in that spot. Theodore.”
“Theo.” My eyes narrowed on him. “No one visited me. I went to Amir. Did you actually think I wouldn’t find out?”
“No, I knew you would.” He kept wiping his hand on the rag. “I was going to tell you. I was hoping to buy some time before I pissed you off again.”
“I think you were hoping to buy me.” I stepped into him, tipping my chin up. “Is that what you were hoping to do?”
He shook his head slowly. “If you actually think that, you haven’t been paying attention. I don’t think you really believe those are my intentions. Not after everything. Though, I get it’s easier if I’m the bad guy.”
“Why is that easier?”
“Because, baby,” he picked up a lock of my hair with his stained fingers, and I almost shuddered, “if I’m not the bad guy, then you have to make a decision about me. Are you going to let me back in so I can prove I’m worthy? Or are you walking away for good?”
I knew without a second thought I didn’t want to walk away. Not after he’d set the world aflame for me. Not when his presence was the only thing that made me feel truly safe. Not when he looked so fucking good with his head under a hood.
“I threatened to ruin Amir if he came for you.”
Something like a growl emerged from Theo’s throat. “Helen, wha—”
I pressed my hand to his chest. “How did you have that kind of money? Is that pocket change for you or did you have to ask your dad?”
It took him a second to answer. It was probably the swift change of topic, but I had a million questions and thoughts, and they were tumbling out.
“I sold my car.”
“What?”
He nodded. “That’s what I was working on Sunday and Monday. I had to get Miranda to agree to it since her name was on the title.”
My teeth dug into my bottom lip. “Did you tell her about me?” I hated the thought of her knowing the trouble I’d gotten myself into. Even if it wasn’t really my fault, I didn’t want her to know.
“No, baby. I told her I had a friend in need. She offered to give me the money outright, but that didn’t feel right, and I knew you wouldn’t like it when it came out. Miranda tried to give me all the cash she got from selling the BMW, but I only let her give me enough to pay your loan. Then she bought me a Toyota because she’s Miranda and she couldn’t allow me not to have a car.”
“A Toyota? How normal.” I scrunched my nose, which made him release a low laugh.
“Living how the regular people live.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He tipped his chin. “You know you don’t have to thank me. Not for looking out for you.”
A man who’ll burn down the world and rebuild it for you.
Theo was making light of what he’d done, but it didn’t feel light to me. He’d gone from holding me all night, to beating Daniel, to selling his car so he could pay my loan. That wasn’t light.
“Amir told me you have me, Theo.” I sucked in a deep breath, looking him square in the eye. “So, no, I don’t think you’re the bad guy. I’m incredibly wary of letting you in and ending up in the same place where I’m cracked open and you’re sucking up every drop of me while keeping yourself sealed tight. So, you, Theo Whitlock, need to decide, if I give you a chance, are you going to give me one too?”
“Yes.” He took my hand from his chest and pressed his mouth to my palm. “If you give me you, I’ll give you me. It’s a shitty bargain on your part, but I’m hoping you make it anyway.”
I almost laughed, but he was being real, so I held it back. “Why is it shitty?”
“Because, baby, I’ve got to deal with my dad, whether I want to or not. I might get kicked out of school and out of his life if he decides something I’ve done displeases him. I might be a mechanic for a while, or forever, if that happens. Your future’s so bright, and mine is so up in the air, I don’t know which way it’ll land. That’s why I’m a shitty bargain.”
“I have to tell you, Theodore, the whole mechanic thing is working for me in a mega big way. If your dad chooses to fulfill his asshole prophecy and you spend the rest of your days in coveralls with stained fingernails, I’ll be pleased I get to look at you and smell the oil on your skin.” Raising up on my toes, I ran my nose along the collar of his shirt. He was all sweat, oil, and Theo. He’d been delicious before, but this was another level.
Before I could spend another second sniffing him, he took my head in his hands and pulled me away, a fierce expression on his face.
“You called me Theodore.”
“I did.” I caught my lip in my teeth, suddenly nervous. I’d called him that on purpose, but I’d kind of hoped he’d let me slide it in there without making it into a big deal. Not Theo, though. He noticed everything.
He lowered his head slowly, and I prepared for the crash. It didn’t come. His lips found mine with a testing kiss, a caress that was so sweet, I had to squeeze my eyes shut to keep from bursting. I chased his mouth, needing more of what he was giving me. My fingers circled around his wrists, then stroked up his forearms.
There was something different about the way we were touching each other. I didn’t remember a time anyone had ever been tender with me, but I recognized that was what was happening here. There weren’t words in my vocabulary for how this felt, but I liked it. I liked it so much, I was going to keep chasing this tenderness between us and hover around it to protect it.
He spoke against my lips. “I missed you so fucking much, Tiger. The second you left my car that night, I wanted you back. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice with you.”
I nodded, my forehead rolling over his. “I really missed you too. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that underneath the bullshit and mistakes, you’re who I thought you were.”
Something clattered nearby, and voices approached. Theo and I drew apart, holding on to each other until the last possible second. He shot me a twinkly-eyed grin, and I was donezo.
“I have to go before I do illegal things to you in front of your coworkers.”
A deep, lovely laugh burst out of him. “Jesus, I would have put on coveralls weeks ago if I knew they were the ticket to your heart.”
I arched a brow. “No, dude, not my heart. She’s a tougher nut to crack. My pants will absolutely fall apart for a man who works with his hands.”
Theo’s grin wavered. “A man? Any man?”
“Don’t fish, Theodore. You know damn well my pants have only dissolved for you recently.” I hitched my bag higher on my shoulder. “I’m going now so you can do sexy things with engines and tools.”
That got me another laugh. “I’ll call you tonight. I have something else I need to take care of, but it should be resolved by tomorrow. Can you clear your weekend for me? I want to take you somewhere after we hang out with Luc.”
“We’re hanging out with Luc?”
He lowered his chin. “Yeah. I missed her too.”
Oh yeah, he was sliding right under the thick, nutty shell around my heart.
“All right. I’m yours, Theodore.” I blew him a kiss, then I sauntered out of the garage, giving my hips an extra sway so he’d be extra inspired to keep all his big, beautiful promises.
Elena jumped on my bed Friday morning, obviously forgetting about my bruised ribs and aching muscles. And sleep. She definitely forgot about my need to sleep.
“I’m dying, you have to wake up,” she cried, jumping all around my prone form.
“You seem incredibly alive and annoying.” I cracked an eye and was greeted not with Elena’s face, but Pen and Gabe’s sweet faces smooshed together on her phone screen. “Hello?”
“What up, boo?” Gabe greeted.
Pen yawned. “Why are we awake this early?”
“Because, darling—” Elena lay down beside me so we could both see the screen. And fuck if our faces weren’t smooshed together, just like Gabe and Pen’s. “I have the most amazing piece of news I need to share with Helen, but I thought the two of you, being her nearest and dearest, would appreciate it very much as well.”
Gabe cleared his throat. “Look, Pen is nice, so she won’t say it, but she doesn’t actually care that Prada announced the color for next spring is going to be glaucous.”
Elena held up a finger. “That’s not a color.”
“It is.” He turned to Pen. “Tell them I pay attention in my color theory class, Lucky. Tell them I’m a good little student, and when I’m not, you take your ruler and—”
Penelope covered his mouth with her hand. “Gabriel is a good student, and glaucous is the color of the skin of grapes and plums. Can we get back to why you called, El? I need to go back to sleep.”
Gabe winked at the screen. “That’s because someone wouldn’t stop riding my dick all night. I’m not naming names, but it rhymes with Schmelope.”
Elena rolled her eyes violently. “Wow, I’m disgusted while also proud of my gorgeous cousin for getting it.”
I elbowed her side. “Did you or did you not have something you wanted to tell us?”
“Yes, god, it would be nice if Gabe stopped distracting everyone.”
He flipped her off for a second before Pen shoved his hand down. Elena wasn’t fazed in any way, plowing on with her news.
“So, as we all know, Helen got dumped by Theo a few weeks ago. He’s been trying to win her back, but this badass bitch has held strong, as she should have. You two probably don’t know about the asshole I was fucking who stole Helen’s money, do you? Or Reno beating the shit out of her because of it?”
Elena’s eyes slid to mine, and when I looked closely enough, I swore I could see the devil dancing around inside her, all wobbly dicked and spitting vinegar and fireballs. She knew damn well I hadn’t told them about the attack and Daniel. She’d disagreed with my decision not to tell them, so this was clearly her taking matters into her own hands.
I spent five minutes begging Gabe not to drop everything and come to Savage River to “burn some shit down.” I spent the next five minutes apologizing to Penelope for keeping her in the dark when all she wanted to do was be there for me.
Elena clicked her fingers. “Okay, that’s sufficient. Now, the news. As I said, Theo has been working his way back to Helen. Part of that is righting all the wrongs done to her. He dealt out a dose of physical violence to Daniel last weekend, but that wasn’t enough for our Theo. He asked me if I knew anything damning about my ex, and wouldn’t you know it, I knew so much. Theo knew some things too—and had access to Daniel’s computer.”
“What happened?” My pulse fluttered wildly in my throat.
“Oh, what didn’t happen? Theo found all the goods. Daniel has not only been not writing his own papers for the last two years, he’s also been running a cheating ring that spans not just this campus, but several others throughout California. All that evidence was forwarded to his teachers, the dean of the business school and, of course, President Whitlock. Daniel is done at Savage U. He’ll be lucky to be admitted to any university anywhere.”
“Oh shit.” Gabe cackled. “That’s brilliant.”
“Elena, were you dating a villain?” Penelope asked.
Elena rolled her eyes. “Dating is pushing it. I was being the good little daughter and spending time with Mom and Dad’s friends’ son of ill repute.”
“Is he really gone?” I asked.
“Well, not yet. These things have proper channels they have to go through. But I have a feeling, since this is such a massive scandal, Daniel will be gone before the weekend is out.”
“And Theo did this?”
Elena nodded. “An eensy bit of help from me, but yeah, Theo did it all. For you.”
A man who’ll burn down the world and rebuild it for you.
“Wow,” breathed Pen. “I’m impressed.”
Gabe clucked his tongue. “One good deed does not erase this dude dumping my Hells.”
Pen smacked him gently. “You, of all people, should be a little more forgiving.”
His mouth fell into an O. “Are we really bringing up the past? Because I could talk about the time last week when you were incredibly mean to me. But I won’t, because I’m so nice.”
Pen turned to stare at him. “You mean the time you decided we should drive to Vegas to get married in the middle of the night and I had to say no because I want a proper wedding with our family and friends there? Was it that time?”
Gabe grinned. “Yeah. That time.”
Pen grinned back. “I love you.”
Elena groaned over Gabe’s response, hanging up on them as soon as they stopped cooing at each other long enough for us to say goodbye. I sat up when she tossed the phone aside, and she stretched out like a cat on my comforter.
“I’m stuck with him for life, aren’t I?” she asked.
“Yep. Those two are definitely lifers. Gabe’s your fam.”
She sighed. “It could be worse, I suppose, but not much.” Then she sat up and swung her legs around to the side. “Now, are you going to forgive Theo yet?”
“I’ve forgiven him. I’m working on the trust part. That’s hard as hell to repair once it’s broken, and it’s not like I give trust out like candy in the first place.”
“Mmm…yeah, that would be difficult. Once people cross me, they’re dead to me.”
I snorted. “Dude, I remember you in high school. You don’t have to tell me that. You’re a savage.”
“Thank you.” She flipped her silky blonde hair behind her shoulder and went to my door, where she paused. “To be honest, high school wasn’t my best look. I’m not saying I’m no longer a savage, but I have a modicum of self-awareness now, and a small dose of chill.”
Cocking my head, I gave her a nod. “I see that.”
She finger gunned me. “Go get the boy.”
I rubbed the center of my chest. This strange feeling was my heart aching and stretching. How did I handle someone doing what Theo had done for me when he was also the source of one of my biggest heartbreaks?
Mads and I didn’t talk about boys or love. She’d been sick her whole life, so her experience on that front had been somewhat limited. But we did talk about heartbreak and living with the scars each fracture wrought.
“Get over it, Helen.”
“That’s your advice?”
“Yes, it is. Life is unfair and it can be painful. If you choose to stop instead of swimming on, you’ll sink. Do you know what happens when you sink?”
“You drown?”
“No. In this scenario, you’re a fish with gills. Sinking doesn’t inhibit your ability to breathe.”
“This is a complicated metaphor. Just tell me what happens when you sink, Mads.”
“You spend your time in the dark, looking up at those who kept swimming. And you resent that they can swim while all you do is wallow. The trick is, you could have been up there in the light, but you made a choice to fall down and stay there. Do you understand, my darling Helen?”
At the time, I’d told her I’d gotten it, and she’d been relieved. It wasn’t until this moment that I truly understood what she’d meant. I could let my hurt make me miss out on something that could be great. Or I could try again with Theo and risk being hurt again.
Hadn’t I been hurt enough? Why the hell would I sign up for the chance of more pain?
But I knew the answer to my own questions. This was Theo, the boy with twinkly eyes who cared for my sister, protected me when I broke his car, and spent night after night waiting for me in a strip club parking lot because he couldn’t stand the thought of me on a bus.
This was either going to hurt like hell or be the greatest chance I’d ever taken—and I was definitely taking it.
I held my tongue through an hour of Shakespeare. Theo seemed to have permanently stolen Lock’s seat, and I was okay with that. If Lock had a problem with it, he hadn’t expressed it, so I took that to mean he didn’t.
Theo took notes and paid attention to Professor Davis, but he kept some part of him touching me throughout the whole class. His leg pressed to mine, his arm around my chair, the brush of his thumb over my knuckle. By the time class ended, I was overheated and ready to burst.
I slipped my hand in his as we started for the stairs. He paused and stared at our joined hands. This might have been the first time I’d held his hand first. It certainly felt brand new for me, and my stomach was flippy with nerves.
Then he tightened his fingers around mine and led me down the steps and outside.
“I heard what you did.”
He stopped walking. “What did you hear?”
I flattened my free hand to his stomach. “Elena told me about Daniel.”
Theo grimaced. “She shouldn’t have. I wanted to wait until he was officially expelled to tell you. I wanted to be able to tell you he was gone for good.”
“I don’t even care what happens to him, it’s the fact you would go to that length…for me.” I whispered the last part. It was hard enough for me to believe, let alone say.
“That’s nothing.” His brows pinched into a fierce, jagged line. “Daniel called what he did to you a joke. Him stealing from you is almost worse than Reno hurting you. At least in Reno’s fucked-up head, he was justified. Daniel had no reason to do what he did other than he could. It’s past time for him to feel the consequences of his actions. He will never breathe the same air as you again. Do you hear me? He won’t be on campus much longer. You won’t have to see him or fear him. He’s done.”
I bit my lip, unsure if I was going to cry, smile, or scream at the top of my lungs. I felt like a swollen pipe, leaking all over the place, at the very edge of bursting.
“He’s really going to be gone? Elena said he had some massive cheating ring.”
“Yeah.” He shoved his fingers through his hair. “The thing about Daniel is he’s a narcissist. He had this scam going, and it was successful, but he needed people to know he was behind it, so he dropped hints about his access to test codes and essays to the guys in the frat. With Elena, he out and out told her what he was doing. Going hand in hand with his narcissism was his feeling of indestructibility. His computer password is his birthday, and he rarely locks his door. It was so easy, it almost wasn’t satisfying.”
I raised my brows, a wide smile spreading across my face. I loved hearing how stupid Daniel was. Pride goeth before the fall and all that. “But it was.”
He stared down at me, nostrils flaring, then some of the twinkle came back to his eyes. “Yeah, it was. It’ll be even more satisfying watching all his stuff get tossed out of his room. That’s coming soon.”
“You ruined him.” Just like I’d said, and sincerely meant, I would ruin Amir, Theo had done this for me.
“I will ruin anyone who even thinks of harming you.” He took my face in his hands, tipping it back gently, his expression fierce. “And not because I’m trying to win you back. This is for always. I will always fight with you and for you.”
…the kind of man who’ll be shoulder to shoulder with you in battle, and when push comes to shove, they’ll step in front of you and take the brunt of it.
I cleared my throat, at a loss for what to say or think. “Well…” I sighed and stepped into him, my front flush with his. “I think I should buy you some mozzarella sticks as a thank you.”
Theo’s expression broke, and a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I have to go to work in an hour.”
“That’s enough time for a heap of mozzarella sticks.” I tipped my chin up. “And since you’ve been so nice, I’ll even buy you a cookie.”
“I’m not going to say no to an offer like that from my girl.”
Every time he called me his girl, my heart thumped so hard I could almost hear it.
“You just get to decide I’m your girl?”
“No.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “It wasn’t a decision. You’ve been my girl since you smashed my car. That was a fact, even when I was being stupid. You were always mine, and I’ve been unequivocally yours.”
I was beginning to think maybe he truly was mine.
