It’s been three days since I passed out at school. Geez, that was so embarrassing. I’ll never go to bed late on a school night again. Especially since my dazed self decided to make an even bigger fool out of myself by checking Elija out in front of everyone.
I don’t even want to know what I must have looked like, white as a sheet of paper and sweaty. Meanwhile, he looked so frustratingly beautiful. I really don’t know why he won’t wear tank tops more often, especially in summer. No idea how he survives in those hoodies all year.
The way he left me as quickly as possible was a slap in the face. It’s silly since I didn’t need his help anymore and he had no reason to stick around but I didn’t even get the chance to thank him.
I’ve been going mad ever since. There’s just no way to get a good read on that guy. He has been acting like always but now my mind is working overtime trying to decipher what every little gaze or smile could mean. What if I’m making a complete fool out of myself, reading into something that isn’t there? He probably smiles at everyone. What if he has a partner? Oh geez, I wouldn’t know since I’ve never talked to him. Would him having a partner make me a homewrecker? Maybe I’ve been looking at him suggestively and am making him uncomfortable.
‘Florence?’ My head snaps up and I’m greeted by an expectant-looking Mr. Hank. The teacher raises a greying eyebrow and my heart drops a bit. Since when do I zone off so badly in class? I’ve never had to ask a teacher to repeat a question.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that,’ I tell him while tapping a familiar rhythm with my finger on my thigh. The smile on my face feels forced but I keep it up in an attempt to smooth the line between my teacher’s brows.
‘We were talking about the trip in two weeks. You said you had a tent for twelve people, right?’ he asks.
‘Right. Yes, I do.’ My smile starts feeling a bit more natural with each time I repeat my rhythm. It’s a trick I learned when I first started getting anxious. I don’t even remember how I came up with that melody.
Mr. Hank clears a few more things up about the annual camping trip before the class is dismissed and my classmates leave for lunch.
Since I managed to forget my book at home today, I end up listening to music and thinking about the camping trip. I already asked my parents if I could use our old tent for the trip this year and they agreed. After last year’s disaster, as they called it, they didn’t need much convincing.
You see, last year the school didn’t organize enough tents for all the students, leaving us to sleep in our sleeping bags beneath the stars. I loved it, feeling the soft breeze skim my skin and listening to the rustling leaves in the wind lulled me to sleep like nothing else could.
My parents disagreed. They didn’t think it was magical but barbaric, sleeping amongst the bugs and worms like animals. Other than that, they were sure all the creeps were watching me sleep. Honestly, what creeps? Sure, there are idiots at this school like at any other, but I can’t think of a creep. Besides, I’m sure there are more interesting subjects to watch if it came down to it
I look up from my hands when the door opens. Today, Elija is alone and my heart skips a beat with excitement. He smiles at me before sitting down and eating his food. Meanwhile, I force myself to keep my gaze on my phone and not watch him eat. Maybe I should renounce my prior statement. Maybe I’m the creep parents are worried about. I hate that idea.
I’d do homework or study but there aren’t any exams coming up and I’ve finished all my assignments early.
Once Elija has finished his food, I gather all my courage and look at him.
‘A song for a song?’ I ask, trying to keep my voice even. The guy across from me looks up, clearly puzzled.
‘Sorry?’ he asks. I can feel my cheeks heating up but I refuse to look away.
‘I’m not in the mood for any of my songs and Benji’s not here to show me anything new. If you want, you could tell me a song to listen to and I’d tell you one in return.’ Elija nods slowly, a smile forming on his lips as he gets up and walks over to me. He hands me his phone and I give him mine.
I’ve been thinking about this for the last twenty minutes so I know what song to play for him. It’s similar to the one he liked last week so I hope he’ll enjoy this too.
He, having had a lot less time to prepare, thinks about his choice for a few seconds. I watch him as he types something on my phone and I could have sworn I saw a blush rise up his neck.
Maybe I make him nervous too? Maybe he feels this weird pull towards me like I do to him? Maybe-
My thoughts break off as the first note of his song plays through my Airpod. Wow, I was definitely wrong since he gave me FRIENDS by Marshmello. Speaking of hints.
I laugh a little to cover my embarrassment and disappointment.
‘Okay, hint taken,’ I tell him, still smiling over the uncomfortable knot in my chest. It was stupid of me to even propose doing this. Scratch that, now I know what he wants, or rather doesn’t want from me. It was just dumb to imagine or tell myself there was anything between us. I mean, we don’t even talk to each other, for Pete’s sake.
‘What? What hint?’ he seems genuinely confused so I point to my phone.
‘It’s fine. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just always like finding new songs.’ I laugh again while liar, liar, pants on fire plays in my mind.
Elija takes a closer look at my phone and breaks out in a grin. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put on that song.’ It’s his turn to chuckle. ‘Please un-take whatever hint you took.’ My cheeks burn up impossibly hotter as I hand him my unlocked phone again. The song that starts playing is friends by Chase Atlantic.
‘There you go,’ Elija says, setting my phone back down.
Great, now I’m more confused than at first. Did he really make a mistake or did he feel bad for the flustered mess I became? If it was a mistake, am I supposed to read into the lyrics of the song that’s playing now? I guess it does mirror my confusion about us a bit but what if it’s really just a song he likes? This is too stressful.
‘You have a great taste in music,’ he tells me after a few minutes.
‘Thanks. I love Chase Atlantic.’ I check the time and feel my eyebrows draw together. ‘Shouldn’t the rest of the class be back by now?’ I ask Elija.
‘Why would they? Our last period has been canceled.’ Back up, what? ‘You didn’t know that?’ his tone suggests he already knows my answer.
‘No. Why are you still here, then?’ I ask.
‘I was going to wait for my bus but,’ he trails off, checking the time on his phone. ‘It left about two minutes ago.’ I curse inwardly. Two minutes, that means I’m probably the reason he’s stuck here until the next bus arrives. I’m about to apologize when he raises a hand to stop me. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ he tells me with a smile.
‘How long will you be stranded here?’ I ask him.
‘A bit less than an hour. Don’t apologize,’ he adds hastily so I laugh instead.
‘You’re an idiot for not telling me. I wouldn’t have gone berserk on you if you had left,’ I assure him. Then, almost automatically, I apologize for calling him an idiot. He laughs at me.
‘It’s fine. You can call me whatever you want.’ I want to ask him if ‘Mine’ is included since I saw that on Instagram once but I think better of it. This is the first time we’re having an actual conversation so I’m trying not to come off too strong.
Instead, I stretch my back before muttering, ‘These chairs are murder.’
‘I don’t mean to keep you here. I’m sure you’d rather go home or do whatever your usual Friday afternoon activity is.’ I quickly shake my head but stop myself before telling him that I’ll gladly endure uncomfortable chairs just so I could hear his voice some more.
‘I certainly won’t leave you here alone after pretty much making you miss your bus. But,’ I chew on my lip and divert my eyes to his rings as I work up some courage. ‘I live five minutes away with my scooter. You could wait with me until the next bus arrives. Only if you want to, of course.’ I say all that trying to sound like it’s no big deal. Like it’s not the first time I’ve ever invited anyone home, especially with no parents around. If they knew I just invited a guy over they’d probably go ballistic. As it is, they won’t be home for another six days.
‘Are you sure? You don’t need to feel guilty, I could find something to do here if it’s a problem,’ he assures me. This, ladies, gentlemen, and gentlepeople, is what I’m talking about. He would wait an hour longer to go home and wouldn’t be mad if it were only for a few minutes of talking to me.
‘I’m sure, come on.’
