Spin The Bottle: A college romance: Chapter 43

The first thing I hear when I walk into the living room is a little kid cursing at Grayson.

“Dude, you’re like ten.”

“Eleven actually, grandpa.”

Grayson snickers, turning his head when he spots me. “Hey, how are you?”

“Who are you talking to? Your mom?” The kid’s voice booms through the headset Grayson has around his neck. His eyebrows shoot up, a smirk on his lips.

“My friend,” Grayson replies.

“Oooh. A girlfriend?”

Grayson laughs, shaking his head. “Nope, a guy friend.”

“BOO.” Grayson winces when the kid’s voice bellows through the headset. “I’m off, you’re boring.”

The kid disconnects, leaving the game.

“I swear I’m never playing multiplayer again,” Grayson says, looking at me. “I’m terrified of kids.”

A scoff escapes me as I sit beside him. “I’m sure you were worse than him at his age.”

He laughs, running a hand down his face. When he turns to look at me, he squints, assessing me. “You did it, didn’t you?” he asks. “You uploaded the pictures.”

“Yeah.”

He nods. “You really think it’s going to help?”

I blow out a breath, fixing the cap on my head. “I don’t know.” It was the only thing I thought to do. “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “You took the fall for me freshman year and I just blew it.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t care about that shit. The only people I care about know who I am.” He lifts his chin at me. “What about you?” he asks. “What if everything else turns to shit?”

There’s a high possibility of that happening. But at this point, I don’t care about anything else. There’s one person in my head at all times of the day, it’s the only thing I care about. “I don’t have basketball anymore.” I lift my shoulders in a shrug. “I don’t have Leila. What else do I have to lose?”

His eyes narrow, shaking his head. “You still have school.”

“I would never let that happen,” he says. “The scholarship won’t be a problem.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not taking handouts from you.” It’s bad enough he doesn’t let me pay rent here, I’m not letting him pay for school too.

“It’s not a handout. I just want to help you.”

I rub my hand down my face. “I promised Leila I would be good for her. That I would be someone worth her time.” My heart starts beating at the sound of her name. “I told her she’d never have to worry about my shitty past. If I accept handouts, I’m proving her wrong.”

“You told her?” he asks. “About your family?”

“Every fucking bit,” I admit, pressing my fingers to my temples.

“Damn. That’s more than you’ve told me.” It’s more than I’ve told anybody. She knows everything. Every part of me. “You really love her, don’t you?” he asks.

What a stupid question. “More than I ever thought possible.”

“You could have come to me.” He throws the controller to the side, turning to face me. “I would have helped you with Jordan.”

My jaw tightens. “I thought I had it handled.” Truth is, I didn’t want anyone to know. Grayson knew some of what I went through back home, but not enough, not to the point where I’d be willing to show him those pictures and put all of my vulnerability on the table.

“And it all blew up instead.”

I glare at him. “Yeah, I got that. Thanks.”

When my phone rings, I pull it out of my pocket, my heart thrashing against my chest when I see the name on the screen. “It’s Leila.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. She’s calling me?

He taps me on the back. “Good luck, man.” He stands up and walks out of the living room.

I don’t know what to do. I just stare at the screen like a jackass, looking over the five letters over and over again. Is this really happening? I press the green answer button and bring the phone to my ear.

There’s silence on the other end, just the soft tone of her breathing. I clutch the phone in my hands, letting my eyes fall closed. “Am I dreaming?” She doesn’t answer though, her breathing getting a little faster, a little harder. “Leila.” My voice is thick, desperate. “Please, talk to me.”

“How are you?” I tip my head back at her beautiful voice. I’ve missed it so much. I’ve missed her. My heart beats so fast it’s almost still. Is this what dying feels like?

“Right now,” I say with a low chuckle. “Fucking amazing.”

“Why’s that?” I can almost picture her cute little smile, or maybe that’s what I want her to be doing. Maybe she’s not smiling at all. Hope she is, though.

“Because you’re talking to me.” I don’t even know what this means, I don’t really care at the moment. She’s talking to me.

The sigh that comes out of her destroys me. “Aiden.”

“Fuck. Not yet,” I interrupt before she can hang up or say this was a mistake or anything else. “Please, just a little bit longer.” She might not forgive me, or believe me, but I just want to hear her voice a little longer. “Don’t hang up yet.”

Each second of silence breaking me apart, until her soft voice says, “Okay.”

I smile, stretching out my legs over the coffee table. “So, how was class? Is Professor Wilson still giving the same boring lectures?” I don’t want to talk about us right now. There might not even be an us, I just want to talk to her. “I don’t miss his classes, that’s for sure.” I’ve always been interested in business. Basketball was my main goal, but having a business degree would be a good fallback if my dream didn’t happen. But Professor Wilson manages to turn a simple subject into a drag. I should be attending classes, but knowing my scholarship is on the line and everyone sees me differently… I couldn’t go. I barely had the energy to get out of bed.

“Yeah,” she says, I can hear the ruffling of her favorite blanket that she always has around her shoulders. “He’s moved onto accounting.” The little laugh that comes from her sounding like a symphony from the angels themselves. “I swear I nearly fell asleep last week.”

I can’t hold it in any longer. I blow out a breath. “I’ve missed you.” When she doesn’t reply, I worry I’ve fucked it already, I went too fast. But it’s hard thinking about anything else when I have her on the phone with me.

“How are you?” she asks. “About everything.”

My gorgeous girl, always worried even after I hurt her. “I’ve been better,” I tell her.

After a few minutes, she sighs. “I’m sorry Jordan did that to you.”

Well, now’s as good a time as ever. “He didn’t.”

A few seconds tick by. “What do you mean?”

“I uploaded them, Leila,” I say, blowing out a breath.

“What?” she says breathily. “Why?”

I barely know the answer myself, just that I needed to do it. “I had nothing else to lose,” I tell her. “Basketball was the one thing I thought meant everything to me, but it felt dull and pointless. It wasn’t worth losing you.”

“Aiden.”

“Nothing was a lie, Leila,” I blurt out, squeezing my eyes shut. “Nothing. Jordan manipulated me. I played right into his hands and did exactly what he wanted. I should have done this from the start, I should have let him release the pictures and say fuck it.”

I hear the sharp intake of a breath from the other end and continue, throwing my heart on the line. “Basketball was my priority and I would have done anything to protect that. I wanted people to respect me here, and that wouldn’t have happened if everyone found out the truth. But I didn’t know what his intentions were.”

I shake my head, hoping she believes me. “He wanted your number. I didn’t even know you back then, I just thought this loser—whoever he was—just wants a shot with a girl he can’t have. It was easy to do in exchange for keeping my reputation intact. But the more time I spent with you…” I trail off, letting out a harsh breath. “Everything that happened between us had nothing to do with him. It was us. All fucking us. Nothing was a lie.”

She’s quiet for so long, I pull back to check she hasn’t hung up. “How do I know I can trust you?” she asks.

I run my hand down my face. “I’ve given up everything just for the possibility that you would know I wasn’t lying to you. I can’t tell you to trust me, that’s your decision to make, all I’m asking is to believe that I would never hurt you on purpose. I didn’t sleep with you or kiss you to save my ass, I did it because I liked you. I did it because I love you.”

She sucks in a breath, and I force myself to continue. “I don’t even know where to go from here or what’s going to happen. People aren’t going to look up to me anymore, that’s for sure.” I let out a sigh. “They know I’m a nobody now.”

“You’re not a nobody,” she says, my chest aching for her.

“I don’t even care about that,” I admit. “I don’t care what they think of me.” I press my lips together, my hand squeezing the phone. “I only care what you think of me.” I open my eyes, wishing she was in front of me, wishing I could look into her beautiful eyes and say this. “You’re the only one who really knows me.”

“You know me too,” she says with a harsh breath. “Better than I know myself.”

I smile, picturing her. “I know,” I tell her. “I know how much you love cats and wish you had one of your own. I know how much you love those disgusting candies but never let yourself have them.” I pause, gulping. “I know how much I hurt you. And how you think I did exactly what your prick of an ex-boyfriend did.”

“Aiden.”

“I know how much you love your dad,” I continue. “He’s right, you know. Eres una tigresa.” She lets out a laugh at my bad Spanish pronunciation. “So confident,” I say, remembering how scared she was to do that photoshoot and did it anyway. I’ve always admired how she seemed to do whatever she wanted, even if it scared her to sometimes. “So fearless, and so strong.” I swallow. “But tigers are also warm-hearted, soft. They’re sensitive and emotional and capable of great love.”

I let my eyes drift closed. “You deserve that great, huge, earth-shattering love, Leila,” I say. “And I’m willing—dying—to give that to you. If you let me.” My heart beats so fast for this woman. “I love you, Leila.”

This is it. I’ve said everything I needed to say. My whole heart is out there for her. If she tells me she doesn’t want to be with me, that she doesn’t trust me, or doesn’t believe me, there’s nothing I can do. I want to fight for us, but I don’t want to keep hurting her.

“Where are you?”

I lift myself off the couch, opening the door. “Anywhere you want me to be.”

She laughs. Fuck, I love that sound. “Can you be here in ten?”

I’m already out of the door when I say, “Make it five.”