As I finish my last class of the day, I’m exhausted. I came to Wyncote because of their program being better, but I wasn’t fully prepared for how much work that entailed. I’m grateful that my parents have been making sure that I’m well taken care of while I’m here, because there’s no way that I could manage having to work a job on top of all the schoolwork I have.
“Hey! Olivia, right?” I hear someone say as I’m walking through the doorway and into the hall. Stopping just outside the door, I turn around to see a guy that I’ve noticed in my class heading toward me with a smile on his face.
“Hey,” I respond, shifting my weight nervously on my feet as I look up at him. His eyes are a deep green, almost the same color as ivy leaves. “Yeah, I’m Olivia,” I tell him stupidly and instantly want to slap my palm against my forehead.
“I’m Noah,” he says, flashing his perfectly straight teeth as he holds his hand out to me. Tentatively, I take it and lightly shake it. “I haven’t seen you around before. Are you new here this semester?”
I nod, pulling my hand away from him as my skin tingles from his warmth. “I transferred here from a university in Florida. I’m a biology major.”
“Oh, cool,” he says with more enthusiasm than I expected. “I am too, which is probably why we’re in the same class,” he adds, chuckling softly.
Even though I’ve noticed him in class, this is the first time I’m really looking at him. His facial features are sharp, almost perfectly symmetrical. His sand colored hair is shaved on the sides and a mess of tousled waves on the top. I never noticed how good-looking he was until this very moment.
“I don’t want to make this seem weird, but a few of us are getting together later to go bowling and I was wondering if you wanted to come along with us.”
I stare back at him for a moment, caught off guard. My eyebrows pull together. “But you don’t even know me.”
That damn grin is back on his face and I hate the way it makes my stomach flip. “I’ve seen you around and it seems like you keep to yourself. It sucks not knowing anyone and I just thought maybe you’d want to make some friends. They’re all cool, I swear.” He holds up his hand in a Scout’s honor salute.
He is right. Since I’ve been here, I haven’t made a single friend, outside of my roommate. And it’s not like we hang out. I’ve been keeping to myself because I’m too shy to approach anyone. I never know how to go about it, but now I’m glad that Noah decided to approach me.
“You know what, that actually sounds like it would be a lot of fun.”
I’m nervous, walking into a situation where I don’t know anyone. My anxiety likes to be prepared and know what to expect. This is completely out of my comfort zone, but I feel like I need to take that step. If I don’t like it, I just won’t do it again. It’s time that I make a conscious effort to do something different and push myself outside of my little box of safety I’ve been living in for so long.
“Sweet!” Noah begins to walk, motioning for me to follow along with him. We fall into step beside each other as we head toward the south exit of the building. Noah tells me about the five other people that are going to be there, but I’m too overwhelmed to catch their names. Plus, I do better when I can put a face to a name. It helps me to remember better.
“So, I’ll see you at seven at Leisure Lanes?” Noah asks me as we stop in the middle of the sidewalk outside of the dorms. His is in a different building than mine, so this is where we end for now. “Do you know where it’s at?”
I shake my head, a nervous smile on my lips. “I haven’t gotten to explore much other than the campus yet, but I can use my Google Maps app and find it.”
Noah purses his lips, looking displeased. “Nonsense. I’ll meet you out here around six forty-five and I’ll drive us. It’s a few blocks away, but it’s too cold at night to walk that far.”
I silently thank him. Needing a car is one of the downfalls of moving here from Florida. I went there without one and am now waiting for my mom to come visit and bring my car from home here. Until then, my options are either walking or Ubers. Or coming across someone who happens to have a car.
My mind drifts to Sterling and I fight hard to shove the thoughts away. I can’t let my brain go there, not after seeing him last week. That night felt partially disastrous and I have no desire in revisiting that memory.
“I’ll see you then,” I smile at Noah, giving him a wave before disappearing into my building. My footsteps feel lighter, even though my heart pounds erratically in my chest from the anxiety that races through my system. There’s a lingering feeling that maybe I should just cancel, but it’s too late. I don’t even have Noah’s number and I’m not going to ghost him.
As much as my anxiety can get in the way, I’m not in the habit of letting people down or disappointing them. Call me a people pleaser. I just want to make sure that everyone is happy with all of the bad things in the world. Kindness is the least that I can offer to everyone that I cross paths with.
Unlike Sterling. Some people just aren’t designed to be happy, I suppose. I don’t know what happened to him. He didn’t have a bad life and there was nothing tragic that I know of that happened to him. Maybe it’s just me, because the more that I think about it, it seems like his negative feelings are directed toward me more than anyone else.
Don’t get me wrong, Sterling doesn’t really seem like he gives a shit about many people. He’s always indifferent and never truly seems interested. Almost like he’s in his own world and there isn’t enough room in it to fully let someone else in. But at the same time, he’s more colder toward me compared to other people.
And I really don’t like the cold.
After we ate at the diner, he dropped me off at my dorm and that was the last I heard from him. I could have sworn that I saw him in the hallway the other day, but it was just from behind and he was gone before I had the chance to approach him. Not that I would have anyway. What could I have possibly said to him?
He might not have a girlfriend, but he definitely has a girl that has his attention.
And like it’s always been… it isn’t me.
Noah is already waiting for me outside when I leave the dorm building. He greets me with a smile on his face, his scarf wrapped tightly around his neck to block out the cold. I settled with a pair of thick leggings, a sweater, boots and my long down jacket. Winters in Vermont are no joke. We don’t get inches of snow here, we get feet.
There’s been quite a few times where I’ve wondered if I made a mistake coming back here over the past week. Between the cold from the climate here and the coldness I experienced from Sterling, I miss the warmth.
Although, with the way that Noah is looking at me right now, I can’t help but feel like the sun is touching my bare skin. There’s something about him that makes me feel at ease, like I can be comfortable around him. Perhaps it’s the warmth that he offers. He reminds me of the Florida sun in the middle of the day.
Bright and warm. He matches my energy.
“You ready to go?” he asks me, his voice soft and gentle.
“Yep,” I smile back at him and follow him into the parking lot to where his car is. It’s not a date, but he still opens the passenger-side door for me. He waits until I’m situated in my seat before closing it and making his way over to his side.
The leather seat is cold beneath my clothes and Noah turns up the heat as soon as he turns on the car. He doesn’t have seat warmers, but it doesn’t take long for his car to warm up. We fall into a comfortable conversation on our way to the bowling alley, talking about our plans after graduation. We still have three years to go until we’re at that point and so much can change before then.
It doesn’t take long before we’re at the bowling alley and Noah is putting the car in park. I climb out of my door and wait for him, nervously wringing my hands together. He offers me a kind smile as he comes up beside me and we walk inside together. His friends already have two lanes and are waiting for us when we get there.
My nerves instantly fade as everyone goes around, introducing themselves to me. There are two couples, Eric and Sam and Jay and Darla. And then the only other one who isn’t coupled up, Steven. I can’t help but feel like Noah brought me here as his date, but I quickly push the irrational thoughts from my mind.
He hasn’t once made an attempt to make this seem like it’s anything more than it is. Leave it to me to overthink and jump to conclusions. Everyone is welcoming and extremely nice, asking me questions like they genuinely want to get to know me.
“You’re a biology major too, right?” Sam asks me as we watch Eric and Jay both bowl. I’m sitting with Sam and Darla while Noah and Steven argue about football teams.
“I am.” I smile back at her. “I just transferred to Wyncote this semester and met Noah in one of the classes we have together.”
“Watch out for that one,” Darla winks at me. “He’s quite the charmer, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders.”
“Oh no.” I shake my head at her, quickly shutting down the idea. “We literally just met. We’re friends, if we’re anything at all.”
Sam laughs softly. “Don’t listen to Darla. She’s been on him to get a girlfriend, but Noah isn’t really like that. He’s super focused on his schooling.”
“You’re not crazy, right?” Darla questions me, a smile playing on her lips.
I shake my head, laughing with the two of them. “Not that I know of.”
“Good, because I like you. And I think I like you for him.”
Sam rolls her eyes at Darla before looking back at me. “Like I said, don’t listen to her. She’s always trying to play matchmaker.”
“Hey, I did hook you and Eric up, didn’t I?”
Sam raises her hands in defeat. “Okay, okay, you got me there.”
“Damn right,” Darla winks at me, laughing again. “Let me work my matchmaker magic. I promise I won’t do you wrong.”
“I’m not looking for a relationship or anyone right now, honestly,” I tell her, swallowing back the nervousness that creeps up into my throat. All while simultaneously shoving thoughts of Sterling from my mind.
“Okay, I’ll back off… for now.” Darla smiles at me. “But if we’re going to be friends, I can’t promise that I won’t try again.”
Noah walks over to the three of us. “Are the two of you harassing Olivia?”
The three of us laugh and Darla and Sam shake their heads in an attempt to look innocent. “We would never do such a thing,” Darla says sweetly.
“Yeah right,” Noah snorts. “I know the two of you and the way you work.” Noah looks back at me, holding his hand out to help me up. “It’s your turn.”
I smile at him, sliding my hand into his as I feel his warm palm against mine.
And I really like the warmth.
