A few days later …
For days, I’ve been giving that girl in the closet some food and water, and then chucking her back in there. I honestly don’t know what the fuck to do with her. I can’t free her, but it’s such a waste to let her die. It would make Vanessa less compliant, so I guess I have no other choice but to keep her alive. Besides, I hate killing innocent people. See? I’m not such a bad guy.
The doctor came yesterday. Well, our organization’s doctor, of course. He’s as reliable as a regular one, except he does the dirty jobs, the ones no one else will ever want to take. I mean, who wants to tend to a kidnapped girl? Right.
I had Vanessa tested and myself too, so I’d be a hundred percent sure it’s safe to ravage her. Plus, I didn’t want to use condoms anymore. I want to feel her wet pussy with nothing but my own cock. She’s always been on the pill because I found it in her cabinet, and I make sure she still takes it by forcing it down her throat. I check her mouth every time, so I make sure she doesn’t spit it out. Of course, I assume she doesn’t want my baby anyway. Just thinking about it makes me laugh.
I look at her cage, which stands in the corner of the living room now because I wanted a change of scenery. She’s grinding her teeth, still glaring at me as if she’s going to rip my head off if I come close. I marvel at the sight of her in the new panties that I gave her. It’s black lingerie with a little red skirt, perfect for my pet.
“Comfy?” I ask, as I reposition myself on the couch.
“Hardly.”
“Good.” I smile.
“When are you going to take this thing off me?” she says, pointing to her collar.
“Never,” I muse.
“I’m not an animal,” she hisses.
“You are to me.”
She makes a face. “You know? You’re really a pig when you say things like that.”
“Aw, we can be animals together, babe.” I throw her a kiss in the air, which only seems to annoy her more.
“Is this really how you intend to spend the rest of your days until the cops arrive to take you away? Honestly, I thought you were going to hurt me, or even kill me, but no, you’re keeping me in a cage like some sort of …”
“Pet. Exactly.” I shift forward. “Which is exactly what you are to me. Be happy. It means you’re worthy enough to live.”
“They’ll put you away for a long time once they find me,” she says.
“Who? The cops? I doubt it. They won’t find either of us before we’re dead,” I say, and I really mean it. I don’t think I’m going to make it out alive. I don’t like the thought of dying, but I sure as hell don’t like spending an eternity stuck in prison. I’d rather go out with a bang.
And I’ll make sure to take her with me.
“If Arthur is still out there, he’ll get them to come to my house.”
“Ha, I doubt it. The fucker has probably already bled to death,” I muse.
“You don’t know that,” she says, gazing at me from under her eyelashes. “Maybe he’s still alive. Maybe he’s recovering. Maybe he’ll come for me. And when he does … your head’s going to roll.”
“No, yours is, sweet cheeks. In case you didn’t remember, he wanted you dead.”
“He’ll want you dead, too,” she says. “After what you did to him.”
Sighing, I get up from the couch and grab my duct tape. As I walk to her, she starts protesting.
“Stop, Phoenix. Stop doing that.”
She’s been getting on my nerves a lot. “You talk too much,” I say, as I fish a pair of her panties from my pocket. I briefly smell them, her scent still intoxicating as ever, and then I stuff them in her mouth and stick over some tape. “There.” I smile. “Much better.”
***
VANESSA
I hate him.
I hate him so much.
And yet, when he looks at me like that with that happy smile on his face, I can’t help but wonder what has become of us. I’m a captured woman, stuck in this prison and subjected to his every whim, and he’s the monster who changes his plans and wishes with the snap of a finger. Every day I wonder when he’ll kill me. If he’ll follow through with what he said.
I know he’s done it before. He can do it again.
Just like me.
I don’t remember when we became this way. It just happened. Over the course of the years, our decisions shaped us into the people we are now. But why did we let this happen? Couldn’t we see the consequences? Or were we too blinded by hatred?
I push the thoughts away, but they keep drifting back into my mind. I can’t allow myself to think about the what-ifs and could have beens. I should focus on the here and now, but it’s hard, knowing our history.
Somehow, a little part of me still thinks she can change the inevitable. That she can change herself. And him.
But it’s all futile, and I, more than anyone, should know that feeling for people never leads to anything good.
With this collar around my neck, he reminds me every day of his hold over me. This isn’t the first collar I’ve worn, even though it is the first that’s around my neck. There’s another who’s claimed me as his own before. Not my heart. Not my love. He had my life in his hands as he twisted the little ring around my finger.
It meant the end of Vanessa, the girl who lived for love, and the beginning of the girl who lived for vengeance.
***
Age 19
My body quakes with every step I take. Each one is another toward a destiny I cannot escape … a destiny that will slowly peel the goodness out of my soul.
I had only one choice.
Sacrifice my happiness … or sacrifice his life.
I couldn’t choose heartbreak, so I chose ruin instead.
In a white laced dress covered with crystals and with a necklace made of diamonds, I open the door of my chambers and step out into the hallway. There is no one there except Arthur, Phillip’s brother, waiting for me. My father is already at the entrance to the aisle, but I don’t dare go there yet.
I glance at Arthur. He smiles and briefly looks up and down my dress. “You look lovely.”
“Thank you,” I say, smiling a little, but it can’t hide the growing sadness inside me. The closer I get, the more desperate I become to escape from this world for just a moment.
He steps forward and grabs my hand when I stumble. “Careful there.”
“I’m sorry; I’m so clumsy.”
“No need to apologize.” He muffles a laugh, and it sounds genuine, something I haven’t heard in a long while. He cocks his head. “Are you okay?”
I sigh and look at him. “That depends on what you want to hear.”
“I want to hear the truth.”
“Hmm …” I nod. “You’re not like your family.”
“So they say,” he says.
His eyes take me in completely, blinking a couple of times while gazing at me without holding back. Like he’s checking me out, even though he knows he’s not supposed to.
It’s not the first time this has happened, and I’m sure now that we’ll become in-laws, it won’t be the last time.
I clear my throat. “But to answer your question, no. Not at all.”
He frowns. “Is it the dress?”
“No.” I look down at the floor.
“Then what?” He tries to look at me, but I turn my head away.
I don’t want him to see the water in my eyes. I push the tears away immediately. I can’t let anyone see them. Especially my mother. Weakness to her means an opportunity to strike, and I can’t give her that chance.
“I’m fine,” I say, and I try to walk ahead, but he’s still holding my hand.
“You’re not. I can tell.”
“Oh, really?” I jest.
“You’re not a very good liar,” he muses.
“Not yet,” I say. “But I’ll soon be. Just like all of them.”
“You don’t have to be.”
The change in his voice makes me stop and think. I glance over my shoulder at him. “Why’d you say that?”
“You can still choose not to marry him.”
I frown. “How? I don’t have a choice. They’ll kill my … me.”
He steps closer and grabs both my hands. “I know you don’t want this.”
The way he holds me, so carefully, gently, like he wants me to be safe … it instills some sort of need in me that overwhelms me. It makes me want to hug him and confide in him, even though I barely know him. Phillip used to tell me how his brother always wanted what he couldn’t have … but to me, he’s always so nice.
I can hardly believe they’re family.
I take a deep breath, which is hard in this tight dress. “What other choice do I have?”
“Your mother is the one who’s arranging all of this, right? And she’s the one threatening you.”
“Yes,” I say. I don’t understand where he’s going with this.
“If she’s out of the way … Your worries disappear.”
“What? What are you saying?” I gasp, making a face. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“Shh …” He leans in to whisper in my ear. “Hear me out. She’s the one thing who keeps this commitment going. Your mother is the only one who has a hold on you. If you get rid of her, you’re no longer bound to this commitment. You don’t have to marry Phillip.”
I swallow when I hear what he’s saying. It’s like it doesn’t even register. Is he suggesting that I kill my own mother?
“You’d be free.”
These last few words repeat over and over in my head.
Freedom.
It’s all I ever wanted. All I could never have.
Not as long as I was going to marry Phillip.
Not as long as my mother was there to torture my soul.
If she were gone … nothing would keep me from Miles.
But how?
And then it appears, right in front of me. The answer to all my questions. A vial filled with a substance is held out to me. The same kind of vial his mother had used to poison the political opponents of my father.
Like a forbidden secret, he slides it onto my hand, as he whispers into my ear, “You control your own fate. Make your choice.”
***
During the wedding
The wedding ceremony is all a blur to me. Sweat drops trickle down my back as I’m continuously reminded of the lethal weapon sitting in my purse. Every passing second is another one wasted, but I don’t dare move. The consequences of this choice are too heavy. I can’t make such a life-changing decision so quickly.
When we exchange the rings, my eyes can only focus on Phillip for a second before being torn away toward the purse lying on a table in the corner. During the reception, all I can think of is that vial. The thought of using it consumes me. It’s like a devil is on my shoulder, telling me to use it.
However, every time I glance at my mother, my courage leaks out of me.
During dinner, I get up from my seat and walk toward the table with my purse clutched between my clammy fingers. I take out the vial, hide it in my hand, and walk to the table. There’s no one near me; the rest of the guests are all mingling, so now is the perfect time. The drinks are there, and all I need to do is pour it in.
My fingers tremble as I hold out the vial and push off the lid with my thumb. When I’ve made sure no one’s looking, I drip it into a glass and pick it up. I can’t believe what I’m doing as I walk toward the table where his parents and my parents are sitting. Am I really going to kill my own mother? Is it all worth it? I don’t know how or why, but somehow the thought of murdering her makes me sick to my stomach. I hate her … but do I honestly want her dead?
She’s my mother. Even after everything she’s done, I still want her to love me. I always did. After all, she will always be my mother, no matter if she’s alive or dead. Nothing will change that.
I try to prevent my hand from shaking as I bring the glass toward them. The smile on my face is as fake as can be. I wonder if they can see through it. My mother looks up at me, and for the first time in a long while, there’s a genuine smile on her face, almost as if she’s truly happy to see me. Like I’m finally being the daughter she always dreamed I’d be.
That look … it stops my heart.
My mother … She’ll always be my mother, even if we can’t stand each other.
I can’t kill my mother.
I just can’t.
But I won’t let them ruin my life, either.
Someone has to pay for what they did to me. And if I can’t punish my own mother … then it’ll be someone else’s mother instead.
Someone equally responsible for matching me with Phillip.
Someone with just as much influence and hold on our family.
So I hand the glass to Phillip’s mother with a courteous smile. “Bottoms up.”
She takes it from my hand, saying, “Thank you, darling. You’re so sweet.”
“No problem; I don’t like sitting around all night, so I thought I’d give a few people a drink.”
She smiles and brings the glass to her lips. Every movement she makes lets my heart beat faster again. Anxiously, I wait until she takes a sip. When she does, I feel like I’m about to burst out of my skin. I don’t know why I’m feeling so happy, but I do.
Maybe I’m just as evil as my mother is. I enjoy killing this woman a little too much. It doesn’t surprise me, though. After all, she is my mother … and they say apples don’t fall far from the tree. In this case, we’re already rotten to the core.
It takes a little longer for the poison to set in this time. I guess Arthur gave me a little less potent vial. Good, it makes it less easy for the family to realize who it was. After all this time has passed, I’m already dancing on the floor with Phillip, pretending to be a happy couple, as his mother falls to the ground. Unbeknownst to the rest of the guests, I was the one who caused her demise.
Screams ensue.
Glances filled with horror and sorrow fill the room.
But all I care about is the look on both Phillip and my mother’s face the moment they realize she’s dead.
That look … I could do it all just for that.
Retribution.
And then I spot him rushing into the room. Arthur. The look on his face brings me chills. He’s looking at me. Not at his mother. Me. And I’m staring back at him, frozen in the middle of the dance floor, while everyone rushes to his mother’s body.
All we do is exchange looks, but I know what he’s thinking.
I made a different choice. One he didn’t see coming; one he didn’t prepare for.
But I know he won’t hold it against me. He hates his mother just as much as I do, even though he probably won’t see it that way right now. The look on his face says it all. Surprise overtakes him, but I’m unable to identify if it’s positive or negative.
Our glances tell a story.
I did it.
I did what no one thought I could.
I became a cold-blooded killer.
