KATIE
I left Tony’s bakery in the middle of the night.
I took father’s uniform with his letter and went to the stables that housed a few chickens. It used to have a horse and Fallon’s goat, but we had to sell them in order to pay the taxes before mama got the royal seal.
I took a kernel of grain out of the coin bag and slipped it into my mouth.
I chewed it and swallowed.
I started to feel weird.
A tingling sensation so strong overpowered my entire body. Goosebumps flushed on my skin. My hair stood straight on end. My stomach started to turn and my head felt light and dizzy. Almost like I was going to leave my body.
I fell down to the ground like I was drunk. It felt worse than that night I drank champaign. I didn’t like this out of control feeling.
The spinning in my head finally stopped.
I groaned but didn’t sound like a girl anymore.
I pushed myself up in a sitting position. My dress was shredded on the side. I was flat chested and I looked down at my manly hands.
I touched my face and felt a chiseled chin, and soft stubble.
I got up wobbling. I felt taller. Like the distance to the ground was farther than it used to be.
I tore off my dress easily.
I was stronger, I had a lot more strength.
I chuckled and sounded like a boy, a young man.
I pulled down my undergarments and found manly parts.
I kept staring at them in the moonlight.
It look different from Samuel’s tiny winky. It was bigger, but I didn’t touch it. It was going to be weird walking around with this thing.
I put on pants and a shirt, then the jacket and boots.
It was amazing how everything fit perfectly. Like it was meant for me and not father.
I left my clothes on the floor and rushed back to Tony’s bakery.
He paused seeing a man in the doorway, wearing an officer’s uniform. He walked slowly toward the door and opened it. “Katie?”
I nodded. “Thank you Tony. I don’t know how I will ever be able to repay you.” I didn’t sound like me.
He laughed. “No need, Katie. Just stay safe.”
“I will. Keep an eye on them please.”
“I promise.” He said. “Wait I packed you something for the road and Lester is waiting for you around the corner. Did you think about a name yet.”
“Andrew.”
“It’s a strong name.” He handed me a bag filled with bread and cheese, and a flask filled with goat’s milk. “You need to get going.” He took me to the back to where the horses and a carriage filled with baked goods were waiting.
“Did you tell him?”
“No, I just asked him to give a young man a lift.”
“Thank you. Tony.” I gave him a hug and he tapped my back. “Be safe Andrew.”
I smiled. “I will. Tell him please, otherwise he will go out of his mind. If you don’t mind.”
“I’ll see what I can do, Andrew.”
I climbed on the carriage, introducing myself as Andrew.
“Lester,” he smiled.
“See you later, Lester. Andrew, be safe.”
“I will.”
“I can get you as close as five miles. I wish I could get you all the way there.”
“Five miles is enough. Thank you Lester.”
The carriage moved and I looked at my small village with all its extra occupants.
I thought about Maggy, my mom, my dad, and my siblings.
They will have both their parents. That was the best I could do for them.
Tony would tell them what he had done for me. Or I hoped he would.
When the sun was starting to rise, Lester stopped the wagon.
I jumped off. I knew the way to the camp, but let Lester gave me directions. He couldn’t know that I was Katie.
“Good luck, son. And I hope that you will put an end to this war. Enough sons have died for nothing.”
“Thank you for your kindness and transportation.” My voice was deep and bid him farewell as Andrew Squires, whose uncle was his guardian up until he was sixteen.
I walked the next five miles with heavy steps. I knew it wasn’t from my luggage. I barely had any. No they were from my emotions. To not know if I would ever see my friends or family again. Whether they would be safe was what weighed me down.
I reached the campsite just when the sun fully lit Paegeia.
There were lots of white tents stacked in blocks of rows. It was a huge campsite with many officers and grown men, men my father’s age even, boys younger than me huddled around, talking to one another.
“Excuse me,” I asked the first guy that walked past by me. He ignored me.
I tried a second one, not knowing where I had to go to register, and the same thing happened, and then I remembered what Tony said. Men do not ask for directions.
I rolled my eyes.
I took a deep breath.
Katherine Squires, if you want to pull this off, looking like a man is not going to be enough. You need to act the part too. Remember what Tony told you.
Don’t ask for help.
I followed two men that were walking with luggage over their shoulders. A few moments later, deeper into the campsite, we came to a stop at a huge line of soldiers.
I stood behind them, waiting my turn.
My name is Andrew Squires. I came in the place of my uncle and guardian, Nicolas Squires. He is sick, had no sons old enough to fight. I’ll die gladly in his place.
That was my story, and that was what I was sticking to for now.
The line took a long time but eventually I made it to the front.
Two big ogre-like men in their late thirties, soldiers that had fought in wars before were behind the sign up table.
They helped the two men standing in front of me, old acquaintances and then the one man assigned them each their stations and told them what group level they were going to be in.
Then it was my turn.
“Name,” one of them asked.
“K…Andrew.” I cleared my throat.
He gave me a raised eyebrow and asked for my surname.
“Squires.” I handed him the letter that was sent to my father. “I’m going to fight in my guardian’s place, my uncle, Nicolas Squires.”
The man give a string of cuss words first. “You want to tell me that you do not have the right documentation.”
“It’s war, I didn’t think documentation was going to be that much of a problem, and it was a last minute decision. My cousin struggled to get word to me.”
“Oh we are a smart alec, I see.” The guy yelled and the entire group close to the registration table stared at us.
“It’s going to be fun to make a man out of you. Break you down from the nothing you are and…”
“Come on Trevor.” Another guy spoke and grabbed my papers. I stared at the papers in his hand before looking at him.
“My Prince,” the guy named Trevor said.
My heart started to rise. It was Prince Goran.
“Squires,” the Prince looked at me. “Let me guess, you never fought in a war before.”
I shook my head, my words were nowhere to be found.
“You are at the right place then. We start with training bright and early tomorrow. Trevor, show this young man where to go. And it’s war, papers do not matter much during war.”
“Yes, your highness.” Trevor said.
I was at a loss for words as I watched Goran walked away.
He was stationed at this camp too, so I guessed the rumors of guarding him, keeping him safe so that one day he could become the next ruler of Paegeia weren’t true.
The guy pushed a bed roll with a blanket into my hands and a pillow. “Block C, tent 1254. Orientation is tonight in the main tent.” He pointed and I saw the outline of the biggest tent in this campsite. It’s mandatory.”
I nodded, grabbed my papers and went to hunt down my tent.
My coin bag with magical grain kernels hung from my belt underneath my jacket.
I found my tent fast. A few boys, Andrew’s age were already talking to each other.
“Fresh meat.” Another sturdy boy said. He had mouse color hair with deep dimples.
“Craig, all of us are fresh meat, you idiot.” Another said. “Name is Tom, Tom Huddleson.” He stuck out his hand toward me.
“Andrew, Andrew Squires.” I smiled.
“The idiot is Craig, and they are Raf and Stewy.”
I nodded.
“So are you ready to fight in this messed up war?” Tom asked.
“Do we have a choice?”
He huffed. “Where are you from?”
“All over. But my guardian lives in Eikenborough.”
“Disseldorf, we are all from Disseldorf. There are quite a few from Eikenborough.”
“I don’t know them that well. Like I said. My guardian is from Eikenborough.”
“So you did. Welcome to hell,” Tom said.
He wasn’t as sturdy as Craig but he was as tall as me.
I disappeared into my tent and hoped they wouldn’t talk to me more.
I rolled out my bedroll and dug a small shallow grave for my coin bag of kernels. I couldn’t afford to lose them, not if I didn’t want to get caught.
I couldn’t believe that I was here. Fighting in my father’s place. I hoped that my family would be okay and that Tony had alleviated their fears of me going in father’s place. I already missed them, but I was honored to be here and relieved that my family still had Nicolas Squires at home. He was more needed in Eikenborough anyway.
During the meeting a lot of the men left with their superior officers to build bases in other places.
A quarter of the camp was left and Prince Goran was making his way around again.
He didn’t talk much.
I wondered how he felt. He looked fine, but then again men do not wear their hearts on their sleeves.
There was a fox with him and everyone was looking at it. He left a few moments later and none of us saw him again.
After the meeting it was supper time. Loads of grains were served and I finished my entire meal.
I still had rolls and cheese left that Tony had prepared for me and I would eat that later tonight.
Andrew was always hungry. Katie hardly ate a thing.
I crawled into my tent after supper.
Our training was going to begin tomorrow.
A part of me dreaded becoming a man, and I wondered if boys felt that way too.
It was scary to be a man.
I still struggled to get my manly bits working. Peeing used to be so much easier as a girl, it wasn’t that easy for a guy. That thing had a mind of its own and if not handled firmly, pee just flew everywhere.
It was hard to be surrounded by men too. I knew I looked like one, but I didn’t feel like one.
I went over all the things Tony had told me. How to act like a man, how to think like one too.
A part of me was scared that I would lose Katherine, but this was war and they would kill me if they discovered that I was a woman. Or maybe even do worse things that would make me wish I was dead.
I took one grain kernel out of the coin bag and returned the bag to its shallow grave.
The kernels were my life now.
I placed the kernel under the pillow. I would eat it early in the morning, before anyone could discover that I was a woman.
The kernels were my life now and I needed to be careful.
ALBERT.
Zeba came back. She had a note from Goran.
I opened the note. He was stationed at the new campsite, going to start training a lot of boys, hardly men, tomorrow. He hadn’t seen his father in ages but would make sure that I got any news if there were changes.
With his new order, nothing was going according to our plan anymore. My father’s army just got bigger.
“Al,” Caleb saw the worry on my face.
“It’s all good, Caleb. Goran will get some of them to fight for our cause. We’ll be fine.” I went to wash up in the lake.
The water was warm and the lake was hidden by the trees. It was times like these I always thought about her. My fair lady.
I couldn’t stop seeing those deep sad grey eyes every time I closed mine. I tried so hard to memorize her smell. Her laughter and her voice.
But I knew my memory was failing me big time.
Arms wrapped around me from behind.
“What is on your mind, Al.” Connie was always so warm.
“This war. What we did. I never thought my father would become so deranged.”
“Al, he loved you.”
I huffed. “He had a funny way of showing it Constance.”
She was the Swallow Annex I wanted to send to my lady’s father to get healed. She told me he was sick and would die without a Swallow Annex’s touch.
For all I knew her father was already dead.
“What is going on with you and Bob. Everytime he comes back, you sulk.”
I chuckled. She wasn’t an idiot. Watching me way too closely. “War stuff, he gets intel for me, Constance.”
“Don’t lie to me. I’m not Drizelda.”
I turned around. She was so beautiful, but she wasn’t my lady.
“Your smile, as dashing as it is, is not going to soften me either. You have been hiding something from me for a while now. Let me in, maybe I can help.”
“I’m afraid you won’t be able to help this time.”
“What, you don’t trust how well informed I can be?”
I chuckled. “No, let me rephrase, you won’t.”
Her smile disappeared and she looked down at the water. “Who is she?”
She was smart too.
“Not Drizelda.”
She laughed. “We all know that.”
“I’m sorry. I know it wasn’t the plan.” I said softly.
“Does she know you are alive?”
I shook my head.
“Let me guess, that was where you were the night of the ball, with her.”
My lips curved slightly and I nodded.
“Just as long as it’s not Drizelda.” She said softly. “Is she beautiful?”
“I don’t know, she was hiding behind a mask and when the unmasking came she just disappeared.” A sadness lingered in my tone.
“You have no idea what she looks like?”
“No, but she was different, Connie. It was like her soul resonated with mine. There was a connection between us that I couldn’t deny.”
“Oh Al, you are smitten with a girl you do not even know.”
“I know enough. She is from Eikenborough. She had a strange vanilla and rose smell and the saddest grey eyes.” I laughed. “I know I sound like an idiot.” Silence grew between us. “Her father is sick and I wanted you to help him. It’s all wrong isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not. You wanted to help someone that isn’t as fortunate as you. That’s a first, Al.”
“I was so wrong about the poor. She thought I was a big arrogant bastard.”
“What?”
“I didn’t tell her I was the prince, I’m not that big of an idiot, but she woke something up in me. I want to be a better king than my father Connie, and I saw that kind of king through her eyes.” I sighed. “And I have no idea what she even looks like.”
She touched my face softly as tears glistened in her eyes. “I should hate this stranger with all my heart, I want to, but I do not like your frustration or the fact that it was a commoner that showed you the kind of king you would like to be like one day.”
“Who would’ve thought. A poor girl, changing my ways.”
“Eikenborough you say.”
I nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Connie.”
“A few dragons are reaching out to the villages. With your father’s demands, it’s going to be hard for a woman to raise little ones, and concentrate on their health. I’ll ask them to just keep an eye out for this amazing young lady and get word to her that you are okay.”
I touched her hand that was still touching my cheek. “Thank you Connie.”
“Anything for you Al. All you have to do is ask.”
“I’m sorry, this wasn’t a part of the plan.”
She huffed with a small smile. “I guess I finally understand now what my mother was always talking about. The heart cannot choose who to love. I hope you find her Al. I would like to meet her too.”
She let go of my cheek and walked out of the lake.
Her skin was like goat’s milk in the moonlight. Beautiful silver scales were hiding inside her body.
She draped soft silk around herself and left for her quarters in the log house.
I was probably going to hear it from Issy. What an idiot I was for letting her twin slip through my fingers. But their mother was right. You couldn’t betray your heart when it came to true love. My heart belonged to that strange girl from the ball. She stole it that night, whether she was poor or not. I was afraid that I would never get it back.
