SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN stealing home and carrying me to the dugout bridal-style, Sebastian got pensive. I’m not sure what happened, but he won’t stop kissing me, even to talk for a moment, and he’s holding me so tightly I wonder if I’m going to be sore in the morning.
I love it, but I’m worried, too.
This dugout isn’t anything like the one in the main ballpark; it’s just a long bench with a step and a railing. It’s not at all comfortable, but that’s not the point right now, not when each kiss is like a drop of water after wandering parched in a desert. Not when there’s something hanging in the air between us, as delicate yet unbreakable as a string of silk. It’s wrapped around his heart and mine, shining in the quiet night. If we didn’t have the floodlights from the stadium bleeding over the sky, I’d barely be able to see him.
It’s a good night for planet hunting, as Nonno would say.
I gasp, arching my back, as Sebastian bites my nipple. He drags his hand down my side, curving over my hip bone before settling it on my bare thigh. The moment we got to the dugout, he made a makeshift blanket out of the jerseys, and I undressed the rest of the way without ceremony. He hefted me back into his arms, holding us chest-to-chest, and we made out against the cinderblock wall until I begged him for more contact. I got what I asked for, but he’s still too quiet. Normally I’m overwhelmed by the praise, teasing and laughter. This feels different. Serious. The pleasure is there—my clit is throbbing; I want his touch so fucking bad, and I know he’s hard—but he’s not himself.
I reach up and stroke my fingers through his hair. I feel him shiver as he kisses between my breasts. “Sweetheart,” I murmur.
“Mia,” he answers, my name slipping from his lips like a prayer.
“Are you okay?”
His eyes are bright even in the dark. “Are you? Are you too cold?”
I sit up a little. “I’m fine. You’re just… being quiet, I guess.”
He pulls me into his lap, wrapping his big arms around me. I throw my arms around his neck, happy for the contact. I bury my face against the hollow of his throat, feeling the press of his dad’s necklace, as I breathe in his sweat.
It’s sweet that he wears that necklace all the time. I like my hoops because Nana gave them to me from her personal jewelry box, and I like my chain because Nonno got it for me to match the earrings. He hasn’t spoken about it much, but I know the necklace holds the same level of significance to him.
“Sorry,” he says. “I’m just thinking about how much I admire you.”
Of all the things I was expecting to hear, it wasn’t that. “Seriously?”
“You’re incredible,” he says. “Your ambition is… it’s everything. It’s fucking sexy, Mia.”
I shake my head, laughing slightly. “Sebastian.”
“What? It’s just the truth.” His hand skitters down my spine. “I’m a lucky man.”
I swallow, trying to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat. “Thank you.”
“And maybe I’m just thinking about that tonight.” He brushes his hand over my cheek. “About you, and about me, and about us.”
I hold his gaze for a long time. I used to think about moments like this and cringe, but I want to stay in this one forever. I’d hate it from anyone but him. He’s steady and serious, and I can tell that no part of him is bullshitting me. He doesn’t have to; he’s not trying to flatter me into bed. He already has me. He’s just being himself, and that makes it even more special. I’ve been told a lot of things about my laser focus on my future, but no one has ever called it sexy.
“Can you do it while you’re inside me?”
He bursts into startled laughter. “I love you.”
My heart starts to beat so fast I’m afraid it’s going to run away. “So that’s what the note meant.”
“What—oh, the note on the jersey.” He grips the back of my neck, kneading his thumb against the top of my spine. “Yeah, Mia Angel. I love you.”
“When I first moved in with you, I gave myself a mission.” I’m not sure why I’m telling him this now, but my thoughts are scrambled, and this is a thread I can hold onto. “Project GOSMC. Get Over Sebastian Miller-Callahan.”
He keeps holding me. He doesn’t push me away. “And how did that go?”
“It was a total and complete failure.” I trace my finger down his cheek. “Most of science is.”
“Most of baseball is too. You go up to the plate and strike out more often than you hit the damn thing.”
I smile.
“My project didn’t just fail,” I whisper. “The objectives changed entirely. And now we’re here.”
The rest of the confession is on the tip of my tongue. I’ve never said it in a romantic way before, and if I’m being honest with myself, I thought I never would. But if there’s anyone who deserves to hear it, it’s Sebastian.
Before I can work up the courage, Sebastian pushes me against the makeshift blanket, caging my body with his. He kisses me, his hand slipping between our bodies to rub over my clit, rekindling the pleasure that had been consuming me. I gasp into his mouth as he presses in a finger, then another, curling them inside me to catch all the extra-sensitive places. His dick is still hard, pressed against my thigh, and it doesn’t take long at all before I’m arching my back, wanting more than his fingers. More than his teasing. His tongue tangles with mine as he works my clit.
I break away with a moan. “Please,” I beg.
He doesn’t wait a moment longer. My nails drag down his arms as he pushes into me, slowly but without stopping. He groans when he’s in all the way, his hair falling over his eyes as he presses his forehead to mine. We just breathe for a moment, but then I wrap my legs and arms around him, and he takes that as the signal to give me everything he has.
Each thrust is exquisite torture. I squeeze around him tightly, smiling when that makes him grunt. He buries his face in my shoulder, his teeth scraping over my skin. I gasp, wobbling on the edge already. He’s never fucked me this deep before, or so completely. I’m trembling. My nails dig into his back hard enough I’m sure it hurts. The pleasure builds in my lower belly, dragging through a want in me so deep, I know it’s going to consume me.
“Come for me,” he murmurs. “Just like this. You can do it, gorgeous girl.”
I come with a cry that he cuts off with a kiss, my entire body clenching and releasing until I’m nothing but a puddle of goo. My scalp tingles, my toes curl, and the whole time Sebastian keeps me safe and hidden, so I can fall apart just for him. Only for him. Starbursts dance in my vision as my breath catches on a sob. He hugs me so close I feel fused to him, and still he moves in me, bringing himself to the same peak.
I don’t trust myself to speak without bursting into tears, but I dig my heels into his back and kiss him as fiercely as I ever have, and I know he understands my silent plea. To come in me, to claim me, to leave a mark in me so deep that nothing can take it away.
I feel the moment he lets go, his body going slack. I stroke through his hair as we catch our breath together.
I used to study the stars and imagine planets with knife-sharp mountains. Boiling oceans. Metal rain. Now, I think of something different. Rolling hills. A gem of a lake. A rainforest, thick with life, as green as the eyes of the man looking down at me like I’m the very center of the universe. Part of me always wished I could escape to one of those worlds, but I don’t want that anymore. I belong right here, with him, and that is more beautiful than anything I could ever dream up while gazing into a telescope.
It’s strange. It’s terrifying. It’s beautiful.
“I love you,” I whisper.
