Nick
After babysitting for Chris and Danielle, I’ve now realized in great detail that, yes, I would love to have kids sometime, but just not right now.
Taylor is so adorable and cute, but she has me driven me mad as soon as her parents left to go out and join in on the celebrations with the rest of the team and their other halves. As much as I wanted to celebrate, I wasn’t in the mood—especially not tonight.
Taylor was a big ball of energy for the most part, until she crashed hard and fell asleep on the sofa. I had to carry her to her bed and tuck her in to make sure she was alright. Danielle had changed her into her bed clothes before she and Chris left.
I sit alone in the room and watch TV while keeping one eye on her. I’m not even in my own hotel room. I’m watching the game we just played and picked on what I could improve on. I picked out other things that I saw from other players, both on my team and the opposing one. Taylor had inputs, too, when she was awake.
I remember one input she had for me.
“You should smile,” she said and it definitely rang true to me. When my face appeared on the screen, she would race over and point at my mouth to try pushing up the corners and make me smile. I do smile, I just find it hard when I’m not wholeheartedly happy right now. How do you tell a child that? So, I smile at her and she points at me. “Like that.” She grinned back.
She’s a great kid.
Like all kids her age, she’s a little energetic and a little sassy, which she no doubt gets it from Danielle.
I had a good night, even when most of it was spent with a kid. It was refreshing, to be honest. I feel like she felt a little closer to me too.
When she sees me in the lobby, she immediately walks over to me and holds on to my hand as we were getting ready to leave to go back to LA. A swarm of cameras catch the moment. No doubt, my face will be everywhere in the media with Chris protecting his daughter as best as he could.
I was the only one in the entire team that was fresh-faced today. The rest were hungover or extremely exhausted. There were a lot of grouchy faces getting on the flight back to LAX this morning.
There were a lot of grunts from the players who had kids on the flight. They just didn’t want to deal with them. Chris was no exception, so who did Taylor spend the time with during the flight?
Yeah, me.
She was showing me how she played her games on her iPad while sitting on my lap. Danielle would come and check in every so often and thank me for taking care of her.
I gave her parents the break they were in need of, especially after drinking so much. She was energy incarnate for the entire morning.
They needed some down time, and more importantly, some quiet time.
***
Carter
I begrudgingly wake up to my alarm telling me it’s time to get my ass to work today so I can make it on time. I groan and fish for my phone so I can switch it off and slide out of my comfy bed.
I roll on my side and wipe my eyes to open them up. I yawn while doing a very much needed stretch.
I kick my duvet off my body and roll the other way so I can put a foot down and begin to wash my face with cold water.
My morning routine is simple, I wash my face and brush my teeth, then I put sunscreen on my skin for protection. I usually have my breakfast made the night before and then I’d bring it to work so I can eat with Candice before we begin.
Muesli, banana chips, fresh berries and oat milk is what I’ll be eating this morning. It’s a good way to start the day.
An hour later, we’re sitting at the table together. The first ones to arrive, as usual, I comment to myself. We always have a good catch up in the morning because I trust her. She doesn’t say a word to other people in the office because we don’t hang out with them. We just gravitated towards one another and nothing has changed since.
“Carter?” she asks me. I was lost in my own thoughts. She reaches over to the remote sitting on the other table and turns on the morning news. Instead of regular news, the gossip columns come on because the other girls left it at that channel in the office. Candice decides to leave it on.
“Hm?” I look at her.
“You okay? You seem to be lost in your own thoughts there.” She chuckles as she opens her yogurt and pours it in her bowl.
“Oh, yeah, sorry. I just have a lot on my mind right now. It’s hard to keep focus, you know?” I wave it off with a soft smile.
“You want to talk about it?” she offers me her time.
“I don’t think you’d want to listen—”
“Oh, sure I do. That’s what friends are for, right?” She winks. “But only if you’re comfortable telling me. We can talk about something else if you’d like?” She takes a bite out of her cereal with yogurt on top.
I sigh to my bowl and twirl the spoon around to mix my oats.
“I ended it with Ted.” I can hear her coughing after I said that. She is striking her chest and reaching for her freshly squeezed orange juice sans pulp.
“Oh my God!” She breathes harshly. “I don’t know what I’m more shocked about, that you guys broke up or that I saw my life flash before my eyes because of the cereal.” She never fails to make me laugh in the morning. “What happened?” she asks.
“I just didn’t feel that we were working out.” I shrug and take a bite from my own breakfast. “We were both getting irritated with one another, and I can see it putting a strain on our relationship.” I shrug.
“That happens. You keep giving your relationships plenty of chances to let it fix itself, but it never happens. It’s just how things go. If it’s not meant to be, then it’s not. There’s no point in forcing it,” she offers me advice that I wish I listened to previously when people had their doubts about us. “So, who ended it?”
“I did, I went around to speak to him and told him it’s for the best that we need to go our separate ways. Well, not in so many words, but you get the picture,” I tell her to keep an open mind with what I’m saying.
“And how are you?” she continues with her line of questioning.
“I’m good. I actually feel fine. The day after I broke up with him was hard, but after that, I feel like I got it all out. Now, I don’t feel anything for him or the relationship. I feel lighter. It’s hard to explain, but I feel relieved,” I tell her, taking a deep breath.
“That’s what a toxic relationship does to you.” she says cuttingly. My eyebrows shoot up in shock that she saw it too. “Yeah, I noticed. Girl, I noticed everything, and don’t you forget it. I also noticed you and that gorgeous, new Chargers quarterback know each other very well.” She smirks and then points to the TV behind me.
I see Nick holding a blurred out face of a little girl’s hand as they walk out from the hotel lobby to the car. I know it’s Taylor he’s holding hands with. Looks like that image is giving him a lot more popularity than ever. Girls are swooning over the sight of him holding on to my niece and protecting her like she is his own flesh and blood.
Even the woman sitting across from me is borderline about to throw her panties at the screen. “I mean look at him. He’s carved from the gods themselves. My goodness, I wish they looked like that in my day. I would have hopped on that train in no time.” She sighs as she stares at Nick, but it makes me laugh.
“Seems to me like he’s been making an effort to look nice since he walked into this office. Care to shed some light on that fine topic? Hmmm?” She raises her brows up and down with a look of delight on her face that she’s finally cornered me with the question that looks like she’s been dying to ask since he first walked into the office. “Mr. ‘I only trust your hands.’ ” she smirks making me kick her under the table.
“We dated,” I simply say.
“Pffft, I could have told you that.” She waves me off with a large grin on her face.
“It’s complicated,” I say, not knowing where to start but also knowing there isn’t enough time between now and when people start arriving to work to tell her the story. “It’s a long and complicated story.” I sigh while looking at him on the screen once again, holding my niece while Chris and Danielle pack the trunk with the driver. I watch him smile at her. There’s a lot of hype around these pictures at the moment.
It is a precious moment to see. I just wish I was there.
But I willingly denied myself that. I needed some space to get my head around things and to breathe. I haven’t told anyone about the breakup except for Candice. I know she won’t say a word, but I also want to ease myself into it with my family and friends because they will have a lot of questions. I also know they will be celebrating, and I’m not sure I’m ready to celebrate the death of another relationship. I’m not quite ready for that just yet.
“Have you heard anything from the Chargers’ recruitment agents yet?” she asks, steering the topic away from Nick slightly.
“Nope, not yet. I don’t have my hopes high for that. If it comes back positive, then so be it, but if it comes back negative, I won’t beat myself up over it either. I did my best, but I don’t have the experience behind me. I haven’t been in the industry long enough, so I’ll be surprised if I do get it. I understand that I most likely won’t. As much as I would love to, but I think there will be other opportunities down the line. Plus, I interviewed for one, so they will keep me in mind for any further jobs they may have.” I nod just as I start to hear the door bell jingle, telling the both of us that someone has arrived in the office. So, it’ll just be normal chit-chat from now on.
“Keep your head up. No news is good news, right?” She smiles warmly at me.
“Yeah.” I sigh. Usually, when people don’t call you back instantly, it means they didn’t love you. And I know my brother’s interruption didn’t help the matter.
I pack everything away and make my way to my desk to have a look at my schedule today. I turn on my screen and go straight to my calendar. We look to be pretty booked for Monday, which only means one thing; today will fly by.
And that’s exactly what happened.
Before I even had time to sit and think, I found myself listening to the radio on my drive home, stuck in the usual traffic. I’m humming away to Hotel California. My dad used to play this all the time when we were younger, so we all know how the song went. It brings a memory back to me when he’d put the three of us in the back seat of the rented car he got when he’d go back to Mississippi for the summer to visit my grandparents. We used to head to their home and go on the freeway down. My dad used to have all the windows open when this song would come on as our hair flies around. It always made me and my brothers laugh hysterically.
The thought of it still makes me laugh today.
It isn’t long until we start moving again. A long half an hour of driving later, I finally reach my place.
I hop out as soon as I park the car and make my way inside my home. With the clanging of the the keys echoing around me, I make my way towards the kitchen to begin cooking dinner.
I pull out some of the leftovers that I made last week and shove it into the microwave and stand there against the countertop and stare at my feet in thought. Running thoughts are now plaguing my mind, jumping from one thing to another. It’s overwhelming.
The beep from the microwave pulls me back to reality. A gentle reminder to just breathe. I pull the food out to silence the device and place it on a plate for myself.
I bring it over to dining table with a glass of water and sit myself down to have my dinner.
Alone.
Again.
I switch on the TV to fill the silence, like always.
The one thing I find strange about a breakup is that you stop all communication.
No texts. No calls. No dinners. No dates.
Nothing.
It’s strange. You’d think that I would be used to it by now.
“Eli Becks has torn his ligament and is undergoing emergency surgery at the moment due to the impact made by Averman on his last touchdown. An investigation has been launched to see if it was an intentionally delayed tackle by Averman in the game.” I turn my attention to the TV. Averman? I haven’t heard that name since college.
“If we roll back the footage, you can see from this angle that it doesn’t look like it. However, if you see it from the other side the camera caught, it may have been just that. Averman denies the allegations made by Coach Amberson.” I wouldn’t imagine that Ryan did do that on purpose because he was losing. Yes, he’s a hothead, but he’s different on the field. He’s respectful when it comes to football and never misses or jeopardizes a chance to play for his team.
Coach Amberson is just full of ego. I’m surprised he hasn’t been removed from his position. He’s been nothing but a nuisance for the game. My dad and him do not get along, mainly because my dad has more titles under his belt. It’s not a New York Giants thing, my dad had coached different teams and brought them to a standard nobody in the game has matched. It’s doesn’t matter what team he was on, he wanted to make them the best. It always took time at the beginning, but he proved himself and now he knows what works.
He’s a great coach and everyone knows it. Except for Amberson, who has it out for him.
“It was clearly a delayed tackle; and an intentional one, might I add. The proof is in the pudding. You can see it in the play clear as day. The player should be suspended for it. This is the kind of thing that we don’t tolerate in the NFL!” I could stifle an eye roll. This guy is the type to blame everyone around him but himself and that he’s never wrong. I’ve had the ungodly pleasure of meeting him and knowing him.
He’s a tyrant.
Knock knock knock.
I place my fork down on the plate and wipe my hands and mouth with a tissue. I push myself out of my chair and walk towards the door to see who is knocking. I hope it’s not someone trying to sell me something. I hate being rude when they’re talking. One time, I stood there for thirty minutes while a guy spoke about the word of Jesus. I wasn’t interested, but I just couldn’t find the heart to tell him no thank you. He was just so passionate, I felt bad.
As soon as I pull the door open, my jaw sinks to the floor. I stand there in complete shock at the person standing out my door.
“Mr. Jackson,” I say finally after staring in shock at George Jackson, Nick’s father, for what felt like an eternity. The man who I haven’t seen in five years, who apparently meddled in my relationship with his son, is standing outside my house. “Hi, is everything okay?” I ask.
“Yes, everything is fine. I’m sorry to drop by unexpectedly, Carter. May I come in?” he asks, catching me completely off guard. Still, I push my door open and offer him to come inside to get out of the LA heat. He steps into my hallway as I shut the door behind him as an awkward silence fills the room.
I hold out my hand in the direction of the living room. “Please.” I point to him the direction to make himself comfortable. “Do you need a water or something?” I ask him.
“Water would be great,” he thanks me.
I go and fetch him a bottle from my refrigerator. All the while, I’m trying to understand why he’s here. I’m even struggling to twist the cap off for him. My hands are shaking that badly.
“Don’t worry about that, I can do it. Thanks.” He makes me jump as he stands between the threshold of the living room and kitchen.
“Oh, sure. Yeah, cool,” I stutter out nervously. The last time I saw him, he made it very much known that he didn’t approve of me. Even five years later, he makes me nervous around him. I wish Lynn was here to act as the mediator.
“Um, can we sit?” He points to the sofa and takes the water into his hand.
“Sure.” I nod and make my way into the other room with him following behind. “I didn’t know you were in town,” I start the awkward conversation that I know we’re about to have. I just don’t know if it’ll be a fight of some sort, but judging by his calm demeanor, it may not go down that way.
“It was a last minute thing, actually. I’ve never actually been here before. It’s nice out here. I can see why he wanted to come.” He looks at me and smiles, putting me a little at ease.
“I’m sorry, I’m just a little confus—”
“Yeah, I get it. I’m sorry for springing this on you tonight. You must be tired from work, but Nick came home to Mississippi this weekend. We talked . . . talked about, well, everything. We got things off our chest about what had happened five years ago, and I think I owe it to you too. I know you must be thinking it’s a little too late to come here and talk about it, and you’re right, but I have always had the mentality of it’s better late than never. And Nick kind of put it all into perspective—”
“Does he know you’re here?” I ask and interrupt him. He shakes his head, which makes me sigh. I don’t know how he will take that conversation.
“No, that’s my next stop. I thought I’d spend the night in Haley and TJ’s but that’s all a surprise. I’m pretty sure they’re already on their way home from the airport now. I know he’s staying with them, too, and Lord knows they have enough room in the house. I’ve been hearing so much about it from her.” He laughs and so do I.
“She’s proud of it,” I say.
“She definitely is, even if she didn’t pay for it,” I couldn’t hold back a chuckle. Haley likes her house and is completely decorating it to her taste, and she makes that no secret.
“Look, you’re probably wondering what I’m doing here,” he begins.
Uhhh, yes, that’s exactly what I’ve been wondering since I answered the door.
“I know I’m a stubborn old man, but I came here to talk to you about what happened and to give you the apology you deserve. I take full responsibility for forcing Nick into breaking up with you all those years ago. I knew that you meant a lot of each other, and I shouldn’t have meddled in your relationship. It wasn’t my place to. I was just very worried for him and his career. I didn’t think he’d make it, but I also thought as soon as he got drafted that he’d get back with you. He likes to defy everything I say and ask of him, so I didn’t think this request of mine would have been an exception. But he told me that you refused to speak to him—”
“It was hard for me—it was the hardest breakup I’ve ever gone through,” I confess, feeling my throat beginning to close up at the thought of it—the thought of that day, that moment.
It hurt because I loved him like crazy.
I still do, nothing has changed, but can I risk that heartache again?
“I know, I didn’t realize at the time how much you meant to him.” I blink. My heart rips through my chest at the thought of Nick speaking to his dad about me. “But I do realize now. You mean the world to him, Carter.” I could feel the first tear roll down my face. I quickly wipe it away to not make this any more awkward than it needs to be. I mentally tell myself to pull it together.
“He said that?” I whisper in shock.
“Yeah, he did.” He rests both of his arms on in his bent knees and loosely intertwines his fingers. “I came here tonight to apologize to you. I know it’s been so long. I know you got hurt, and I am deeply, deeply sorry for that. That’s all on me, not on him. If you’re going to punish someone—and trust me, I wouldn’t blame you if you did—punish me, not him. I threatened him to breakup with you, and if he didn’t do it, I would have. I’m glad I didn’t, it would have made things a whole lot worse. A father should never do that to their own kid. It took just one look at him for me to realize that, but I shamefully did. I will never forgive myself for it.” He nods with pressed lips. Shame is written on every inch of his face. You can see that the years weren’t as kind to him as they were to his wife. His features are a little more gaunt than I remember. I know it’s been five years, but he never looked like that. However, you can also see the pride in his eyes when he speaks about Nick. “So, the reason why I’m here is to say that I’m sorry . . . I’m sorry. I should never have said anything. It wasn’t my place.” He tilts his head a little to one side as he looks for a reaction from me, like he knows how badly it affected us both.
Heartbreak is the worst, and nine times out of ten, you move on and get over it.
But he was that one. He was my one out of ten.
“Thank you,” I softly respond. I feel my fingers begin to fidget out of nervousness. “I really appreciate you coming and apologizing to me—”
“I know,” he says.
“Know what?” I ask suspiciously of what he’s about to say next. Is he a mind reader or do I have it written all over my face?
“That it’ll take some time. I hope in time you will forgive me. I know it’s fresh at the moment, and I respect that. I just wanted what was best for Nick. He wasn’t thinking straight, and I thought I was. I broke you both apart for the sake of my own selfish reasons. I, truly, am sorry that I made him—I mean, threatened him—to end it with you. It’s been five years since I had a conversation with him. That weekend changed my outlook on those five years.
“I saw it from his eyes instead of through a father’s eyes who wanted what was best for him. I thought I was doing the right thing by him and his career, but I was only hurting him and you. I shouldn’t have gotten involved or gotten in between you two. You mean a lot to my son.” I wonder why he’s telling me all of this. It’s been five years.
I smile awkwardly as I stare at the older Nick look-alike. The shallow skin with the crows feet surrounding his eyes move as he blinks back at me.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why now?” I’m treading on dangerous ground with that question. I know how bad this man’s temper can get. I’ve seen what he’s like during Nick’s football games. I don’t want it to flare up.
“It took a long time, I’ll admit that. Nick came home for the very first time in five years. I never thought that it would happen, and neither did Lynn for that matter, but seeing my wife so happy about him coming back, I thought that it would be enough to just keep her smiling and happy. Then, Nick made the first move to talk to me like the man we raised, but I was stubborn; rude and full of my own shit. I’m not afraid to say that. I was wrong, and it took one look in my son’s eyes when he spoke about you to see that. I should have respected you and your relationship, end of story. But I didn’t, so all I can ask is for forgiveness, from the both of you. In time, I hope you will forgive me for my mistake, but don’t punish him for it. I take full responsibility for the wrong decision he made. I know it might seem stupid, but I was only looking out for him,” he confesses.
“I know you were, and thank you for coming here and saying that. Yes, it will take me a bit of time to get my head around things, but we have to start somewhere, right?” I nod, appreciating that it might not have been easy to come here and tell me all of this.
“Right. The story is not one of my finest moments.” He laughs. A small smile graces my lips as I look down at my feet.
“There isn’t a single soul on this earth that is perfect, Mr. Jackson.” That is not a lie or opinion. Imperfections are just as amazing; people forget that.
“You are to Nick, Carter. Even with your imperfections, you always will be to him,” he says with a tight smile. That’s a sentence that I never thought I’d hear, especially from him. I shift in my seat as the TV plays loudly in the background.
What he said gives me some food for thought.
He brings his attention to the fifty-two inch screen in front of him and chuckles to himself “Still a fan, I see?” he asks me even though he already knows the answer to that.
“I don’t have a choice, Mr. Jackson. It’s in my blood, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I smile as we laugh between the two of us.
“I better leave. I’m sure I’ve taken enough of your time, and I’m sure your dinner has gone cold—”
“Don’t worry about that, I’ll just stick it back in the microwave.” I wave at the plate sitting on the table that I was once eating on.
He stands up to his full height. I look so petite next to him. Like father, like son.
I feel a sense relief that I managed to have this conversation with him. I feel better—much better—and it was something that I never knew I needed.
Yes, I didn’t get my questions answered, but I’m tired of going around in circles. I understand why he did what he did. Do I agree with it? No. But I understand it.
“Thank you for hearing me out,” he continues. I nod and thank him for stopping by, even if it’s on the other side of the country and a short visit to my home.
I open the door for him to leave and get back into his car. The unexpected visit went surprisingly well; better than our last meeting.
“Thanks for meeting with me, Mr. Jackson. I wish it was under different circumstances, but I do appreciate you coming here tonight.” I smile weakly, remembering the bad times between us.
“Me too. And thank for not slamming the door in my face. I really wouldn’t have blamed you if you did.” He steps outside with the sun just about to set in the background behind him. He holds his hand open for me to take, and I do. I shake his hand firmly, a mutual agreement for the two of us to start fresh—a clean slate.
I smile up at the thin faced man, and he smiles down at me. He removes his hand and turns to walk towards his car, only to stop after few steps away from the door. He stares forward at the open air with his back to me and takes a deep breath, his shoulders moving up and down to mimic someone who is trying to shrug something imaginary off their back.
After that, he doesn’t hesitate to turn around but remains in his spot. He’s nods to himself and looks to his side, hesitating on something and contemplating on whether he should say it or not, over towards the sun dipping behind the horizon, illuminating his face and highlighting the depths under his cheekbones. The view looks like a live action painting of the sun setting behind the horizon.
He cranes his neck back around to me as I wait for him to say something. I can tell he has something on his mind. He licks his lips and wipes the corners of his mouth with his thumb and index finger in thought.
An internal battle.
With one deep breath he looks at me once more. “I know you don’t owe me anything, but can you do me a favor?” He nods, hoping that I will too. I oblige and listen to him. “Keep an open mind, especially with Nick,” he says before walking away. I didn’t even have a chance to respond to his request. He walked away without even hearing one word leave my mouth or turning back around, even as he slips into his car.
Nothing.
I stand there and watch him leave. I watch him drive away into the night that had just fallen. I stand by the door, his words still ringing in my ears.
Keep an open mind.
Especially with Nick.
***
Nick
As I sit in the back seat of the car with my sister and TJ upfront, we drive back down the streets of the neighborhood they’re in so we can get home. Our flight had been delayed slightly, so it’s already night time as we begin to make our way back home. The street lights shine as we pass them by, one by one.
I flicker in and out of consciousness as the lights shine through the windows on me with every second that passes. Haley took the reins in driving home. She knows that we’re both tired from the game yesterday.
Our muscles ache along with our minds.
The mental game is what I find the hardest. It’s something that I’ve worked hard on throughout the years. Now I find it hard to switch it off, effectively making me exhausted from my own thoughts. The game is hard, don’t get me wrong. If it were easy, anyone could do it.
The game’s not for everyone.
“We’re nearly there. I know you guys are hungry, so I’ll make some food when we get in, okay?” Haley offers and we’re only too delighted to accept. However, I know she’s tired too. That’s why TJ offers his hand for her to take as she drives us back home. I’m thankful she’s driving us and not me. I’m too drained.
“Thanks,” I hum as I lean my head back against the headrest and shut my eyes for a few moments. A nice place to lay down on is what I’m looking forward to. It’s just what the doctor ordered for me, and I’m not about to refuse.
“What the hell?” Haley whispers, making my eyes dart open to see what she’s looking at. I don’t see anything abnormal out the window.
“Who is that?” TJ leans forward, making me do the same and look out the front window to join them in the guessing game.
I see a dark hunched figure sitting under the porch light. A familiar frame to us all.
“Dad?” Haley asks us because he cannot hear a word we’re saying. As the headlights beam right at him, he looks up and shields his eyes from the bright light while he remains sitting on the porch alone.
“What the fuck?” I ask but rush out the door to see why he’s here.
So does Haley. She barely parked the car before she rushed out to wrap her arms around our dad and greet him. “What the hell is he doing here?” I ask myself but TJ answers.
“No idea.” He clears his throat and follows after my sister to greet our father and his future father-in-law. I shut the car door and make my way towards them gathering around the front door of their house.
I’m dying to move out. As much as I appreciate them having me in their home, I can’t wait to leave them alone. Too much kissing, too many hugs, and too much noise that keeps me up at night. It’s not something an older brother wants to hear, but I’ve had to bite my tongue and move on from it.
I’ve been looking at properties with my agent but nothing has jumped out at me. Nothing has been my style. I’ve been to a lot of homes between Beverly Hills, the Valley, West Hollywood, Calabasas, and Bel Air. Bel Air is the place I’m looking at the most due to it’s exclusivity and privacy. I need that. I like my down time without the paparazzi around to follow my every movement.
I don’t thrive on being famous, it’s part and parcel with my job, but I just don’t care. I’m flattered by the fans, but I don’t thrive on their attention. I stop and appreciate their support every time I see them or they recognize me, or I carry on about my day if they don’t.
I didn’t wish for this part of my life, but I knew it came with the job of being a professional football player. Some guys like it and others don’t.
As I walk towards my dad, I watch Haley eye the two of us. She and TJ don’t know that I went home for the two days before the game. They thought I was training in Arizona. I didn’t tell them anything. It was their assumption.
They don’t know that we finally had the chance to talk about what happened. Although I forgave him, time has to do its thing to heal us and our relationship. There is no quick fix to it and we both know it.
I stand tall and stare at my dad knowing both Haley and TJ are tense, not knowing what is about to transpire. I grin internally. I’m just messing with them. It’s only my dad’s smile that gave it away.
They still look confused; Haley in particular. I think more in the way that it is the last thing she could think of. She thought it was never a possibility that we could patch things up between us.
Treading lightly, she steps back at a little. I smile at her and so does my dad.
“No way!” she whispers. I could see her eyes beginning to well up and I roll my eyes. “You guys are okay now?” she asks.
“We’re getting there, sweetheart.” My dad reaches for her because she looks like she’s going to faint. “Now, come on, it may be night time but I’m still sweating. How ’bout y’all show me ’round your house. I haven’t been here before. I’ve just gone off the pictures you sent me.” He takes his daughter under his arm and guides her towards the door, but she keeps looking over her shoulder and back at me, like it all hasn’t sunken in for her just yet.
I’ll give her some time to digest it.
We all make our way in. TJ hangs back to lock up the car and get his and Haley’s things. She’s too preoccupied with showing our dad around the new house. He has only seen the house through pictures, and Haley is in the middle of redecorating it right now, so she talks him through her ideas.
Also, my dad does a good job of steering her nosy questions that she likes to ask away from us.
TJ enters into the foyer and dramatically kicks Haley’s cases, making one case wheel itself to the wall while the other topples over. He looks at me and mouths “I don’t give a shit” and shrugs his shoulder.
“TJ!” Haley yells from another room and he rushes to pick it up in an instant.
“Still don’t give a shit?” I tease him as he flips me the bird.
“Put that finger down!” Haley warns again as she enters into the foyer with my dad following behind her. He’s looking up at the ceilings and around the open space.
“Nothing that I’m not used to.” My dad chuckles with his hands on his hips. He’s dressed in khaki-green shorts and a collared grey t-shirt. “Your home is lovely, I’m sure it’ll turn out great based on what you told me, Haley.” He kisses her head.
There is an air of awkwardness between the four of us. All three of us are thinking the same thing.
Why is he here?
And judging by the look on my sister’s face, she looks like she’s going to cave in and ask that exact question. And also judging by the smirk on my dad’s face, he knows his daughters is going to do it.
“So, what brings you to LA, Dad?” I laugh under my breath but then get a harsh glare from her.
“Just a quick visit to see you guys.” He’s quick on the response for my sister, but I know it’s not the whole truth. Partial, but definitely not the full truth.
“Well, I think we should order some food instead. Are you hungry?” Haley asks him and begins to fish out her phone from her bag to start ordering some things for us to eat.
“Yeah,” we all respond. Haley handles the food while I walk into the kitchen for a fresh and cold water. My dad and TJ follow behind me, and I pass them each a bottle as we gather around the kitchen island in the center.
“So, why are you really here?” I get down to the real reason.
“Not beating around the bush, huh?” My dad chuckles as he takes a sip of the water. I wait for him to finish his drink and continue with what he’s going to say. He looks right at me and takes a deep breath. “When we were at the football field this weekend, talking about things, you told me that you were not the only one I should be apologizing to.” My heart drops into my stomach at the thought.
“How?” I ask in bewilderment.
“Your mom. She told me where she lived—”
“I know your intentions were right, but do you think that going to her home was the right thing to do?” I ask harshly, a little on the edge. Hell, I haven’t even seen her home.
“When you put it like that, it sounds bad, but she was kind enough to give me the time, Nick. There was no yelling, screaming, or fighting of any kind. I apologized and I’ll be grateful for her to accept it, but I know it’ll take time, like us. I told her I was sorry and left it at that.” he nods.
“You spoke to Carter?” Haley overhears the conversation between us.
“Yeah.” He nods slowly again, this time with a tiredness in his speech. Even though you’re not doing much when flying from one place to another, it does take a lot out of you.
“Why?” she asks.
“It’s nothing for you to be—”
“She’s my best friend, Dad,” Haley states firmly. Haley has always been the girl to back her friends ’til the end.
“I know she is, I just went over to apologize to her. That’s all,” he defends himself with his hands up in surrender. He sighs at her angry face. “I swear, ask her for yourself if you don’t believe me,” he finishes. I take the initiative to do just that, not because I don’t believe him, I just need to know she’s okay. Even if my dad said she was kind and gracious to allow him in and her time, she’s sensitive.
I excuse myself from their company.
I press call and wait for her to pick up.
“Nick?” she answers.
“Hi.” I exhale deeply after hearing her sweet voice again on the phone.
My heart stops.
