Onscreen, Maddock smirked at me, dark-blue pillows behind his head. “Ye were worried.”
My cheeks warmed. “I wouldn’t say that. But you were out on some crazy suicide mission, and you told me you’d call hours ago. I’ve been waiting. A girl has needs.” I rolled my head back, sighing dramatically to hide the relief that was way bigger than reasonable.
My heart still pounded, and I pressed my fingers to the ache.
“I’m sorry for scaring ye, but it’s nice to know ye care.”
I peeked back at the screen. Maddock shifted the camera, and his naked torso came into view, his mountainscape tattoo carving around his side.
Well, fuck.
An instant rush of sexy hormones flooded my system. We’d talked about sexting, and the stress of the day melted, giving way to anticipation. But first, I wanted to find out how his death mission had gone. “So, no crashes.”
“None, but it wasnae easy. Jordie set up a series of exercises to test me. The flight was long, entirely at night, and visibility was shite. I had to rely on instruments to reach the pretend casualty, then hold the heli in place over barely visible flares while mother nature tried to take us out.” He exhaled, pride in his relaxed grin. “But I did it. This whole thing has been about getting that practice, so if I’m on a real rescue and hovering with a family member on a winch beneath the heli, I won’t fear maiming them.”
God, that confidence was attractive. I drew my teeth over my lip.
Maddock grinned, peering at his phone. “What’s that look for? Something I said working for ye?”
I shook my head, a tumble of curls falling from the messy bun I’d scraped my hair into. “Oh no, so you had a pretty dull evening. I’m not sitting here panting over you at all.”
He tilted his head. “I’d have ye panting if I was there.”
“I know you would.”
We gazed at each other, and my flutter of excitement turned into a full-body thrill. Still, I had to own this.
“Are you alone?” I asked carefully.
“Aye. That’s one of the reasons for my being late. The two guys I share the bunkhouse with were heading out for an early flight. I waited for them to go then locked myself in here before I called.”
I batted my lashes. “Ashamed of me or something?”
“Naw. They already know about ye.”
I froze up. “You talk about me?”
He did something with his phone, and the camera sound activated. Then my phone pinged with an incoming message.
“Take a look.”
I loaded the shot of Maddock’s phone’s home screen. Behind the apps was the picture of me and him on the beach together.
I squawked a laugh of disbelief. “Are you serious?”
“Don’t read anything into it. I just like the picture.”
“Don’t read anything into it?” My voice emerged high and tight. “People do that if they’re dating. We’re not dating.”
He shrugged. “Didnae say we were. Nor did I tell the guys that. Just said we were friends when one of them saw your bonny face.”
I fanned my flaming cheeks. “Okay, good, you had me scared for a minute.”
“Would that be so terrible?” he asked, but there was lightness to his tone.
“Oh yeah. I’ve given up dating. But I still want you for your body.”
“Aye? Why have ye got so many clothes on?”
In a beat, the atmosphere changed, darkening.
Delight rippled over me. Talking with Maddock was easy, sex with him had been, too.
“Let me take care of that for you,” I said with the pretence of indifference. I propped the phone on my nightstand and wriggled out of my shorts. “Tell me, have you been thinking about me?”
“Constantly. Cannae get you out of my head.”
“Anything specific?”
He rustled in his sheets, getting comfortable. “Every part of ye. But there’s one thing which keeps coming back to me. Ye mentioned a vibrator.”
I raised an eyebrow and stretched to shed my shirt, leaving me in just my underwear. The angle of my phone gave Maddock a nice view of my stripping, and he gave a rumble of satisfaction.
“With ye there and me here, I cannae touch ye, but I can have ye obey me and use a tool in my place.”
Dayum. Why was that so hot?
“Want me to grab it?”
“Aye. But don’t use it yet.”
“Then tell me what you do want.”
Maddock’s eyes flared. “First, to see ye properly. Swing the camera over your body. Give me a tour.”
I did, losing sight of him onscreen. I ran the camera view over my legs, then farther to where a scrap of black lace underwear covered my pussy. “How does this work? You sound like you know what you’re doing.”
“Never done this before. We’ll work it out as we go along.”
For some reason, that pleased me so much. I continued the path of the camera, over my belly, my breasts, running my thumb under my bra strap in a tease. When I returned to my face, I winked at him.
“Now show me yours.”
Maddock repeated my action. The camera followed his fingertips over his abs, outlined in lamplight and shadow, then down to his cock. It bobbed, as if anticipating the touch. Unlike me, he was already nude.
“Holy shit. Take your cock in your hand.”
He stroked himself with a single heavy motion.
“I’ve been half hard for an hour, waiting to talk to ye.” He gave himself another pump then added sweetly, “Not that that’s all I’m interested in. It’s just a fact.”
I watched in fascination as his hand moved. “You need to find a way to prop your phone up so you can use both hands. I mean, if I was there, I’d be all in, fingers and mouth. Doing this solo means we have to improvise how we get each other off.”
Hesitation followed, and he set his phone on something, giving me a full view of him in all his naked glory. I positioned mine on a chair at the end of my bed, checking the little box with my image to be sure he could see the goods.
In my room, with my blinds closed, door locked, and lamp on, I was good to go.
“How’s that?” I asked.
For a second, he just watched me. I trusted him, and he clearly trusted me, too. I couldn’t think of a single other person I’d do this with.
“Lose the bra,” he ordered.
I sat cross-legged and unsnapped my bra, letting my breasts fall free. Then I palmed both, loving the no-hands deal.
“With your finger and thumb, play with your nipples,” he urged.
“You do the same. Wait, does that work for you?” I rolled my nipples between my fingers, arching my back at the sensation.
“Never mind what works for me. Consider me a loaded gun ready to go off. I’ve been awake for almost twenty-four hours, and wanting ye is the only thing keeping me going. One word from ye and I’m done. But I need to make sure ye have a good time, too, sweetheart.”
“I’m wet for you already,” I confided. “I only have to hear your voice to remember our time together.”
On my screen, Maddock brushed a thumb over his flat, small nipples. He echoed my moves, but his other hand drifted south again to take hold of his cock.
Now it was my turn to copy, and I trailed my fingers down, past my belly and to the waistband of my panties.
An indecent sound of pleasure came from the other end of the call.
“If I was there, I’d have ye on your back and I’d tear those off with my teeth.”
In a flash, I whipped the panties down my legs. Then, without looking at the screen, I bared myself to him, one hand on my thigh, and the other seeking my clit.
“Holy fuck, Rory. I want to kiss ye right now.”
“Here?” I ran two fingers lower to swipe through the evidence of my arousal. I wanted him to see how wet I was for him, and how much he turned me on. Then I pushed a finger inside.
“Everywhere I can touch.” He swore again. “Get your vibrator.”
I reached for the case on my nightstand, snapped it open, and whipped out the eight-inch, multispeed device, brandishing it like a weapon.
“I’ve named it Maddock,” I told him. Then I pressed the button to start a slow vibration. A low hum filled the room.
A dark chuckle was my answer. “On your back again, but put a pillow under your head so I can see your face. Tease yourself with wee rubber Maddock, but don’t push it inside.”
I raised myself so I could see the screen, and he could see all of me. Maddock slowly pumped his shaft, and I licked my lips, wishing I could be there to take him into my mouth.
“I’d give you the mother of all blow jobs right now, if I could.”
“While I fuck ye with your vibrator. We need to make this happen.”
Fat chance of that. I wasn’t getting to the UK anytime soon, aside from a short stop for Elise’s wedding, and he wouldn’t be coming here. We only had this.
With the vibrator, I first ran it over my breasts, pushing hard into one nipple then the other, and I dragged it down to glance over my clit.
“How does it feel?” Maddock asked. “Describe it to me.”
“Intense, even if I only tease with it. Too direct, and I’ll come too fast and miss the build-up,” I explained. “My vibrator is great for getting off quickly, but it can’t beat chemistry and someone else doing the work.”
“Basically, you’re saying nothing’s better than my dick,” he said on a pained laugh.
I didn’t reply, the sensation ramping up. I played with the toy, pressing the blunt end against the entrance to my pussy and then back to my clit, light touches building up a storm of need.
The whole while, I sensed Maddock’s full attention, and it singed my skin.
His voice returned with urgency. “Listen up. I want ye to fuck yourself with it hard and fast, but with your fingers to your clit at the same time. Don’t mess around, because I’m about to come and I want to see ye go first.”
I gasped and hurried to obey, his instruction directing my moves. The second the head of the vibrator entered me, I moaned long and loud, and Maddock growled with me.
“Harder. Imagine it’s me,” he said.
I jacked my arm, and at the same time strummed my clit in increasingly frantic circles. Inside, my orgasm built from a slow wind to an acute edge.
A precipice.
“I’m coming,” I spluttered. “Tighten your hand on your dick. Pretend you can feel me.”
With a hoarse yell, Maddock got there at the same time. My pussy throbbed, and I cried out, my climax slamming into me.
I killed the vibrations on my dildo and slowly fucked myself through the heady spirals of pleasure. I pictured Maddock’s mouth on mine and bit my lip. It was his dick inside me, his skilful hands playing my body.
As soon as I was able, I snapped my eyes open to see Maddock on the screen, his glorious body spread out, and his head back, his chest rising and falling on hard breaths.
Wet coated his chest; the evidence of his release.
He locked gazes with me through the screen, and I slid the vibrator out and curled up.
“That was hot. God, I wish I was there with you.”
He gave a devilish grin then gestured to his body. “Clean-up time. Don’t go anywhere. I want to talk more.”
For a couple of minutes, we got ourselves together. I dressed again and snuggled back in bed, my phone in hand. This could have been awkward, but with him, it never was.
He lifted his chin. “I was thinking on what ye said about the intern interview. It’s none of my business, but I think ye should do it. You’ve been under so much stress, but that won’t last forever. If ye get accepted, then ye can decide whether to take the job.” He gave an awkward shrug. “I hope ye don’t mind me giving my opinion.”
My heart warmed. Elise had said the same when I’d texted her this morning, but it was nice to know Maddock thought about me, too.
“I’ll do it. If it’s possible to make it all work, I’ll find a way. Now tell me more about your dangerous exploits so I can imagine you all rugged and sweaty, then stash that away in the spank bank.”
He cracked up. “Spank bank?”
“It’s an expression I picked up from my English roommate. I’m going to use every opportunity I get with you to fill up that space with Maddock-shaped fantasy material.”
He drew a breath, his laughter drying. “I wish it could be real and not fantasy.”
An uncomfortable sense of frustration hit home, and I blinked to dislodge it. Wishes were pointless. We only had here and now, and at some point, it would be over.
Maddock wasn’t an option for me, and my life wasn’t about to change anytime soon.
With regret, I made up an excuse about tiredness—his, mine, whoever’s—and got off the call.
A couple of days later, I woke late and with minimal time to get ready for work. Rushing, I took Mom her breakfast of avocado on toast with only a small hope she’d eat it.
She raised her head at my entrance, a piece of paper in her hands.
“Morning. What’s that?” I placed the tray down.
A faint hint of pink spread to her too-pale cheeks. “It’s from your dad. He left it for me a few weeks ago.”
Even though she’d long ago told me Wade wasn’t my birth father, she still called him my dad. Him being out of our lives was only a good thing. No matter what I thought of the man, or him of me, Mom’s mental health always took a dip when he was being a jerk. Which was most of the time. They’d never had a healthy relationship, and I wanted the breakup to be permanent.
Yet Aunt Rebecca had warned me last month that Wade had been in contact. I hadn’t asked Mom about it, suspecting the effect it’d had on her. Looked like I had no choice now.
I wrinkled my nose. “What did he say?”
Her fingers fluttered, and she held up the note for me to see.
With a grimace, I read the words.
A – where are you? Keep it for me. I’ll be back – SJ
“Why did he sign it SJ?”
“A nickname.”
“What does he want you to keep for him?”
Mom pressed the letter to her chest. “His heart, I imagine. I guess he knocked on the door, and I didn’t answer.”
I hated the idea that he’d been here. At least Mom hadn’t let him in. I’d changed the locks after he left so he couldn’t just waltz into the place. Still, that didn’t help if she voluntarily opened the door to him.
Or left it unlocked, like before.
Grumbling to myself, I sped through the rest of my preparations and left the house.
It was thirty minutes into the commute when my brain finally woke up properly, and realisation dawned.
In my seat, I took a sudden rush of breath.
Hayley, the driver who provided the car share, shot me a glance. “What? Did you forget something? We don’t have time to go back.”
“No. Sorry. It’s not important.”
Except maybe it was.
That letter had appeared precisely when I was away in Scotland and musing over the money put into my account. What had the note said? I pictured it in my mind.
A – where are you? Keep it for me. I’ll be back – SJ
It was addressed to Mom, or to me. We shared our initials—she was April to my Aurora.
But I’d never heard her use any nickname for Wade at all.
I grabbed my phone and shot Mom a text.
Rory: What SJ nickname did you give Wade? It’s important.
Several hours later, while I was working through my lunchbreak, she replied.
Mom: I’m not sure I remember which one.
My throat tightened. She couldn’t remember because it wasn’t real.
The note had been left for me.
Finally, I had a clue.
